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The Venture Bros Lemon

Bro, I'm not an Undead!

Bro! You wouldn’t believe this! Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday. Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang. Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?! I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right? RIGHT?! I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be! From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?! A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something! Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle. Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS! GAAAAH! Jeez this is happening too fast! However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while! A new path of power! I can NOT be an undead! I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead! Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them! I’m no longer on the path for Undeath! Only Lifelessness awaits me! I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale! I am... SKULLIUS! And I’m not an UNDEAD! ...... [Author’s Answers To Popular Readers’ Questions] Q: (IHateArjuun77) -Hey author, is your book trash?- A: (Author) -Haha, screw you dear reader. The answer is NO. The story has elements of comedy, action, magic, adventure and Brutality. Like it gets really dark sometimes. There’s a comprehensive story with characters that I tried my damndest to NOT make generic on top of a cool power system that’s for the most part easy to understand. So its not trash. Q: (IFreakingHateArjuun56) -Hey author why is your first volume so slow paced and... trash?- A: (Author) -Haha. It’s how I designed the First Volume to be. It’s a fun setup that doesn’t focus on many things other than the MC’s mentality, powers and route of progression. The next volumes are normal paced, focusing on the world, the villains and general expansion but all while still retaining the book theme and fun experience- Q: (ShadeIsAPervert001) -Hey author, I instinctively sense that I’ll hate this book, when should I drop? A: (Author) -Is this the same reader?! Anyway, I’ll give a range. Read a minimum of the first 20 chapters to a max of up to chapter 44 before you decide on anything too rash. I’ll hunt down this reader! --- Discord: [ https://discord.gg/8hcraTjzE9 ]
Shade_Arjuun · 2.2M Views

Bro...I'm Divine!!

Alright, Bro, just hear me out. I’ve got something to tell you, and, uh... it’s a lot. You know how I’ve always been the odd one out in the Mustang family? The black sheep in a legendary line of knights and mages? Everyone in our family gets born with these crazy Rare, legendary, or even mythical pillars—proof of their greatness, right? But me? Nope. Voidborn. Nada. Zero. The one Mustang who can’t even light a candle with magic. But I didn’t give up! I mean, sure, people laughed at me. Sure, the family treated me like I was some kind of cosmic mistake. And yeah, maybe the bullies at school called me "magicless Louis." But I kept studying, searching for a way to fix myself. I didn’t care what it took—I was going to prove everyone wrong!. So, there I was, wandering around the Black Market—you know, the totally shady place Aunt Melissa would freak out about—and I found it: a ritual book. The solution. My chance to stop being Voidborn. I did the ritual in my dorm, thinking it would awaken my pillars. And guess what? It worked! ...Kind of. When I woke up, I felt it that power coursing through me like never before. But when I looked in the mirror, I realized something was... off. My hair was long, my voice was higher, and also became breathtakingly beautiful. that's right bro. I BECAME A WOMAN! So, now I’m stuck like this. But hey, at least I’ve got magic, right? Silver linings! I mean, sure, I might never be the ‘man’ my family wanted, but who cares? I’ve got pillars now, and I’m not letting anyone take that away from me. But Bro, I need your help. I don’t know what I should now. I don’t know how to handle all this power—or, y’know, this body. So, please, Bro, help me out. You’re the only one I can trust. ...And if you laugh, I swear I’ll hex your eyebrows off. Got it? ___________________________________ Hallo everyone!, I hope you will like this novel I came up with last night lol edit1: I said that from 2024 lol, now I fully planned the story!. but at the cost, my writing skills were getting rusty. The chapter 1 is old but great, very fitting so i decided to keep it, and the latest chapters are new. I apologize if my writing skills are bad. Right now i am trying to work hard and even become better at it, Anyway, I will be posting this in Webnovel and Royal Road. So yeah, that's it. I hope you all enjoy my story. now then, see ya!
Dear_VurVand · 295 Views

The Warmth of the Sun in the Winter

"They told me the stars could guide me home, but they never said the journey would leave me so utterly lost." Do you still remember your highschool deskmate? The boy with the brightest smile, that girl with the world's most beautiful silhouette? In three years of high school, the shadows of two people intertwine with the chalk, black and white both distinct, drifting around within the memories. The Su Yuanzhou in her memories was an underachiever in high school. He skips class to shoot pool, cheats on his exams and gets into fights. Yet, when she went back to the past she would always surprise herself for seeing a lot of his side, maybe if she did this before he probably wouldn't die. To be able to meet each other on this planet is some kind of fate, and to be able to illuminate our fleeting lives, how fortunate we are. ... Ren Yuxin was trailing behind Su Yuanzhou like a guilty puppy, her face plastered with an exaggerated pout. "Come here," Su Yuanzhou said, stopping in his tracks and turning to look at her. His tone was calm, but the slight twitch in his jaw betrayed his frustration. "Why?" Ren Yuxin asked, her voice overly cautious, taking a step back instead of forward. "Just come here." His patience was running thin. Ren Yuxin crossed her arms and tilted her head dramatically. "No! You’re going to hit me!" Su Yuanzhou froze, staring at her in disbelief. A few students nearby stifled their laughter, pretending not to watch the exchange. "I’m not going to hit you," he said, exasperated. "Do I look like that kind of person?" "Yes." Ren Yuxin nodded solemnly, her eyes wide with mock innocence. Su Yuanzhou sighed, rubbing his temples. How does she manage to drive me insane every single time? His patience—already minimal—was hanging by a thread. "Ren Yuxin," he said, his tone low and dangerous. "Come here. Now." "No way!" she retorted, taking another step back. "I know you’re mad because I—" She paused, looking guilty. "Because you what?" Su Yuanzhou prompted, narrowing his eyes. "... Because I accidentally sent that embarrassing video of you singing in the shower to our group chat," she admitted in a small voice, her eyes darting away. Su Yuanzhou’s face darkened instantly. He felt every shred of his dignity crumbling. "Accidentally?" he repeated, his voice rising. "It really was an accident!" Ren Yuxin protested, raising her hands defensively. "I didn’t mean to press send!" "Accident or not, you’re dead," Su Yuanzhou said, stepping toward her with purpose. "See! You are going to hit me!" she squealed, turning on her heels and running off. "Get back here!" he yelled, chasing after her.
Kissmet · 7.7K Views

ULTIMATE VENTURES SEASON 1

Five heroes from different corners of the world, each with their own unique strengths and backgrounds, were drawn together by a common threat. The name Malacoda had begun to echo through the shadows—whispered in fear by those who knew the old stories. Malacoda, also known as Garma, was a being of immense power who had been resurrected by Erebus, the emperor of a distant, brutal world. Erebus had made a dark promise to Malacoda: immortality and the power to rule as king on Earth if he could bend humanity to his will. With his resurrection, Malacoda was filled with a renewed sense of purpose. He was not merely a weapon for Erebus; he was a conqueror in his own right. To announce his return, Malacoda sent three of his most loyal servants to Earth. Their message was simple and chilling: Malacoda had come to Earth, and the world had two weeks to decide whom they would serve. Would they bow before him, or face the consequences of their defiance? The announcement spread like wildfire, igniting fear and chaos across the globe. Governments scrambled to respond, while ordinary people were gripped by panic. In the midst of this turmoil, the five heroes—strangers to each other, yet united by fate—began to prepare for the coming battle. They each had their reasons for joining the fight. One sought redemption for past failures; another was driven by a sense of duty to protect the innocent. Each of them brought something different to the table: unmatched strength, cunning intelligence, mystical powers, and unshakable courage. They trained relentlessly, knowing that the odds were against them, but refusing to back down. As the two weeks passed, the tension in the air grew thicker. Malacoda made his presence known, appearing in terrifying visions and demonstrations of power that shook the foundations of cities. His servants stoked the fires of fear, urging humanity to surrender. But when the time came, the heroes stood firm. They confronted Malacoda in a battle that raged across land, sea, and sky. It was a fight that tested them to their very limits, pushing them beyond what they thought possible. Malacoda was a formidable opponent, his power amplified by the dark promise of immortality. But the heroes fought with a determination born of necessity, their strengths complementing each other in perfect harmony. In the end, it was their unity and resolve that turned the tide. Through a combination of strategy, sacrifice, and sheer willpower, they managed to defeat Malacoda, stripping him of the power that Erebus had promised him. The battle was fierce, the cost high, but in the final moments, Malacoda fell, his ambitions crushed. Erebus, watching from afar, seethed with disappointment. His carefully laid plans had been thwarted, and his would-be enforcer was no more. The defeat of Malacoda was a blow to his ambitions, a reminder that even the most powerful can be brought low by those who stand together. The five heroes, victorious but weary, looked out over a world saved from darkness. They had faced the worst, and in doing so, had become something more than just individuals—they had become legends.
Michael_Godwin_7167 · 8K Views
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