A Smile I Never Touched
I promised myself I wouldn't love again.
I built walls, not out of anger, but out of exhaustion.
That's when he came—not with grand gestures or loud words,but quietly, like a ray of hope touching the ruins of my falling life.
It all began with one random reel on my feed.
A few seconds, a familiar feeling,
and somehow, everything started to shift.
The masculine face, the innocent eyes,
that ethereal smile—and the way his body moved with the rhythm when he danced in his song—it was euphoric. Almost unreal.
That was the day I truly understood what fan love was.
Loving someone the whole world knows,
someone who brings comfort, excitement, and inspiration—but who doesn't know you exist.
It's a sweet kind of ache, loving in silence,
from behind a screen, yet feeling every emotion as if they were meant only for you.
It was a sweet pain—gentle at times,
but sometimes unbearable.Yet, your eyes would still crave just one glimpse of him,
just one moment to smile with him,
even if from afar.
But…
My delusional love met its cruel turn
on the day the news broke—his so-called suicide, with no real evidence.
It felt like the ground slipped beneath me.
As if a part of my own light had gone out.
The world mourned a celebrity—but I mourned my person,someone I never met,
yet somehow, had trusted with pieces of my heart.
