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Luffy Kong Gatling

MASKARA

Tik tak. Tik tak. Tanging tunog ng orasan ang nangingibabaw sa tahimik na bahay—isang tahimik na nakakabingi, na para bang bumabalot sa bawat sulok ng silid. Parang musika ito ng kawalan, ngunit imbes na paginhawahin, lalo lamang nitong pinapalakas ang kabog ng aking dibdib. Tik tak. Parang pinipiga ang aking puso, bawat segundo, bawat saglit, paulit-ulit, na tila pinapaalala ang bigat na matagal ko nang dinadala. Hindi ko na kayang pigilan pa. Kumawala na ang aking mga luha, kasabay ng hiningang tila mabigat na bato sa aking dibdib. Bumagsak ang mga patak na parang ulan sa pisngi kong hindi na sanay ngumiti. Minsan naiisip ko, paano nga ba ako napunta sa ganitong sitwasyon? Ang sakit—nakakapaso, nakakasakal—hindi ito basta lungkot lang, kundi isang matinding kalungkutan na nagpapahina sa aking mga tuhod. Araw-araw, pilit akong bumabangon, pilit tinatawid ang mga oras, pero habang ginagawa ko ito, lalong lumalalim ang sugat. Nasasaktan ako, hindi lamang dahil sa mga nangyari, kundi dahil sa awa ko sa aking sarili. Sino ba namang hindi maaawa kung araw-araw, pinipilit kong ngumiti kahit wala nang natitirang dahilan para sumaya? Ngunit kahit anong mangyari, kahit anong sakit ang idulot nito, isa lang ang sigurado ko: Ikaw at ikaw lamang ang aking mamahalin. Walang makakapalit sa'yo. Sa kabila ng lahat, sa kabila ng mga gabing binubulabog ng tahimik na pag-iyak, ikaw pa rin ang laman ng puso kong durog na durog na. Hays… Nawa’y dumating ang araw na ang tik tak ng orasan ay maging musika ng pag-asa. Pero sa ngayon, ito muna ang aking mundo—isang tahimik na silid, isang pusong nagdurugo, at isang pagmamahal na kahit kailan ay hindi ko kayang bitawan.
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