Velma Critique

**Rejoignez le Discord pour une carte de haute qualité du Continent de Panama !** Un chercheur passionné et amateur d'arts martiaux et de sports de combat se retrouve réincarné dans un monde fantastique d'Art Martial. Libéré de la maladie qui affligeait son corps sur Terre, il a décidé de dévouer son corps, cœur, esprit et âme à devenir un Artiste Martial. Que se passe-t-il quand un homme de la Terre rencontre un monde surnaturel ? Que se passe-t-il quand la science rencontre le fantastique ? Suivez Rui alors qu'il parcourt sa Voie Martiale dans un monde de fantaisies et d'épreuves. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Soutenez le roman avec des pierres de pouvoir, des commentaires, des critiques et des cadeaux pour des mises à jour plus fréquentes. Même le moindre petit soutien m'aide plus que vous ne pouvez l'imaginer. Rejoignez le serveur Discord du roman : https://discord.gg/6HTFRFQh8G Art par : https://digitalrowye.com/

Being the author of the breakout novel, Gates of The Primordials, Jarren Fletcher did not care about the constant critiques claiming he had a habit of treating extra characters as mere plot devices, creating and then dumping them once they’d served their purpose. To Jarren, it didn’t matter. Extras were just that—extras. All that mattered was the main character. But Jarren never expected to wake up in his own story, reincarnated as one of the meaningless, disposable extra characters, Deremiah Morcant—a coward who took his own life to escape the perilous challenges of the Gate Trials. Now, Jarren has to face those deadly challenges himself in the body of a weak, insignificant extra. He must find a way to survive in the rules of the dangerous world he had created, whilst also trying to save it. But time is running out. The next Wave is coming, and so are the paragons.

In a peculiar twist of fate, Lee Taeok, found himself in an extraordinary predicament. Little did he know that his scathing critique of a popular novel, ridiculing its blatant naivety and overly innocent take on romance, would set in motion a perplexing chain of events, ultimately leading to his unexpected rebirth as the delinquent character, Baek Taeyang, from the very same novel. “You should have taken better care of your girlfriend.” In the world of the Academy Sweet Love Diary novel, Baek Taeyang is destined to “rescue” the heroines.

Tu eres Aurora, hija de un empresario en quiebra, viviendo una vida de Cenicienta, te obligar a casarte con un hombre guapo pero a la misma vez aterrador, nadie lo quiere cerca, todos le tienen miedo, ¿Cómo te irá a ti? siendo tan bella, una luz encantadora, conviviendo con tal personaje? será verdad lo que dicen de él o no? Os invito a pasar, leer e imaginar.

A person gets transmigrated to ancient china as the current crown prince with a world conquest system which gives him some abilities which he uses for more than just world conquest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ this is a novel focused on smut which i have never written so i want to try it. I am a total amateur in this area so some critique would be helpful. Contains: hypnosis/mind control, Yandere( A lot but will like be more the submissive type). a little netori but NO NTR and will also contain underage sex till even 12 or something like that so if that disgusts you pls don't read this. Also Incest also if there are some pictures they are from pintrest and if their respective creator doesn't want them here il put them away ------------------------------------------------------------------------- I just wanna say i respect woman and people and that this is just a novel with no disrespect to women

In the cozy, cobblestoned town of Thundrel, Lilly Baker feels unfulfilled living the life of a baker, and wants to do something more with her life. After dreaming about the amulet she's had since she was a child, she decides to research it, and discovers that it holds secrets beyond what she could have imagined. The life she wanted to live seemed a lot more achievable now, and she is determined to use this chance for what it's worth. Author note: This is my first story, so I hope you'll be careful with critique. I put it on Royal Road first, but I guess there's no reason to keep it only there. I hope you enjoy! I have no idea if male oriented is right for this story, it feels like it could fit both genders. I stopped releasing here on webnovel, but it's still going on royal road if you want a better reading experience. I also have pictures there, which I couldn't figure out how to include here.

Step into the world of Maxwell De Venti, feared Mafia lord and his deadly wife Angelina De Venti, a notorious assassin and serial killer. As they awaken in a strange new realm vastly different from the earth they once knew. Do not own the art, credits to the owner. New author with no editor yet, I'll do my best. Reviews and critiques will be happily appreciated.

Life is like a playground the gods use to play fate. Nineteen year old Velma has extraordinary and forbidden powers but is yet to wolf out making her an outcast in the society. When she finally does— at the blood moon festival, she is rejected by her mate the Alpha of Aysun because she's the wolf that was prophesied about. The coming of the Blue Wolf would be the beginning of chaos. Artemis is only an Alpha in replacement of his sister's dead mate. As Alpha he has the responsibility to protect the people and reinstate his sister back to her position. He is ready to go to any length to restore his sister's sanity and take revenge on who killed his sister's mate. When he finds out his mate is the blue wolf that was prophesied about, he must make a hard decision to abandon her in order to protect the things he holds dear to his heart. As events unfold, he realizes the deeper meaning behind the prophecy and unravels dark secrets; his enemies are closer than he thinks. Velma is the one that holds to the key to the chains that binds him but it might just be too late for him...

In this world where men are seen as the weaker ones and women strive for power wealth and glory. Maxim finds himself dealing with the outcome of his desire for wisdom. That being all of his emotions. Maxim must rely on his intellect to further himself among all the people that would do him harm or try to claim him for themselves. my first novel and i just want to have some fun imagining and expanding on concepts i feel have unexplored potential. of course reviews and suggestions always welcome critiques about my writing are also helpful

In the year 2050, humanity teeters on the brink of extinction, waging a desperate war against the ancient race known as The Vicestra—a demonic species driven by sin, preying on humans for their own insidious gain. The world government is in shambles, religions fade into obscurity, and the survival of humankind rests in the hands of Vicestra hunters and the six powerful founding clans. Tessa Marlowe, a newly blooded Vicestra hunter with a past cloaked in mystery. Haunted by the gruesome details of her birth and struggling to hold onto her dwindling humanity, she embarks on a relentless quest for revenge against the Vicestra who brutally murdered her father figure and mentor. As Tessa battles these ancient foes and mythical creatures, she must confront her own dark origins. Will she rediscover her humanity and unravel the secrets of her enigmatic past? Or will her journey uncover something even more horrific? Prepare for a thrilling saga of vengeance, discovery, and survival in a world where the line between human and monster is dangerously blurred. (AUTHORS NOTE) I haven't written for a very very long time so if there's any advice or critiques, ill welcome it. I'm mainly trying to practice with this novel so the plot isn't fully fleshed out even though it should be, and I'm trying to be more descriptive with this piece of work. Anyways, Thank you :)

"I've always dreamt of being a footballer, this time I will achieve it with everything I got" A young man gets to have another chance to fullfil his childhood dream will he be able to? [A/N: this is my first time writing a novel any reviews and critique will be heavily appreciated]

Disclaimer: This story includes visual portrayals of extreme violence, blood, and gore. [Audience Rating: 18+] — Meet Jack Greyson, an ordinary human from Earth who unwittingly activated a certain item that transported him to a distant world located in the vast and endless Seas of Stars. Appearing as the weakest and most feeble in this world, Jack must fervently train and swiftly grow stronger using the 'Trifaceted Talent System'—a potent and enigmatic, talent-infusing interface of unknown origins. This system will transform his vulnerability, frailty, and oppression into unbounded, obliterative savagery, immense desolating strength, and unparalleled destructiveness by imbuing him with three phenomenal talents: unbound might, limitless speed, and the ability to ceaselessly manifest countless, myriad battle drones—technologically sophisticated ones hugely advanced than monumental fighter drones from hundreds of thousands of centuries in the future. Furthermore, each of these talents come with complementing marvelous and fascinating abilities that will make Jack apocalyptically strong, destructively fierce, and incomparably fearsome. But all these, he would need to constantly, diligently work for and earn by completing numerous secret tasks, as well as minor, common-event to grand, special-event missions that have varying degrees of difficulty, dangers, and peril—some could turn him into a disabled cripple with torn-off limbs and shredded, gashed, or melted skin, or rendered as a viciously ruined corpse. While others could leave him as scattered drops of bright, rusty red fluid, staining the ground, walls, or filling the atmosphere confined in whatever area he was reduced to as either crimson fog or mist. To know more, accompany Jack Greyson in his unrelenting, dauntless, and indefatigable, extremely perilous quests across numerous unbounded worlds or vast dimensional planes that dot the 'boundless Seas of Stars' and are filled with strange, strong and agile entities, ravenous beastly creatures, and terrifying sentient monstrosities. In these unknown, foreign worlds and planes, Jack will attempt to dominate their powerful inhabitants and leave behind his indelible mark, lingering vestige, and everlasting legacy on each of them! *** This story intertwines compelling epic actions, daring adventures, advanced technology, preternatural powers, a unique Level-Up System, romance, and the complexities of enviable, loyal and beautiful friendships turned family. Enjoy! :) _ P.S: Remember to cast your vote, share your thoughts on what resonates with you or doesn't, and provide critiques. Your feedback is appreciated!

You know, my mother and father always told me to do good deeds, help others, and be an upstanding citizen. If I do those things, then I'll bring good Karma to myself, and life will reward me. That was a lie.. or was it? Reincarnation is tricky stuff, and now I have a whole lot of other things on my plate, and I'm pretty sure I can't eat most of them. Gods, demons, different races of different creeds, and a vast multiverse to explore, and it all began because someone sucked at driving. With my newfound body and System, I'll take on everything, while having fun at the same time of course! I've improved my writing a little, but by all means please let me know if you'd like something added. If you have any suggestions, tips, or anything else, then please critique me. If you're gonna leave a bad rating then at least tell me why please. A HUGE thanks to Commonnerfer and Mister_Immortal for inspiring me to write. It would mean a lot to me if you went ahead and at least tried their novels. I found them funny and well written. Drop a stone for them while you're at it! If you two are reading this, thank you for giving me a drive in this world. *I do not own nor claim to own any artwork on the cover unless this notice is not present. If you are the owner of an image I use and want me to take it down, please contact me as I will do so immediately.*

Welcome to Villain's World, where mercy is a forgotten language, and violence the currency of existence. Social status here is determined by one's Tier of Villainy. Though cutthroat and ruthless, Antagonia ran just fine… Until one day, portals to the Human World emerged. Hidden beneath a veil of justice and liberation, the Humans invaded their lands. Through hypocrisy and shady ploys, many Villains fell victim to these cunning Humans. The Demon Family, a once great Villain Clan, was amongst the victims. Daseos Demon, the fifth son and a child at the time, was left to fend for himself as his entire family fell to the hands of the humans. He was orphaned to the L.U.S.T Inn, a high-end brothel where the owner, Madame Allura and her courtesans became his family. This is the story of Daseos's relentless quest for revenge as he ascends the villain hierarchy. His aims are twofold: to exact vengeance for his fallen family and to safeguard Antagonia from the malevolent humans who feign justice while pillaging their lands. Join Daseos Demon as he confronts not just external adversaries, traitors but also the darker aspects of his own nature as he navigates the murky waters of a society where morals were but a joke. And of course, with the astounding death rates of this harsh environment, it only made sense that its people evolved to have turbo-charged primal urges, to survive, to destroy, to… lust. "A Villain’s World" offers a compelling narrative, filled with intricate characters, moral ambiguity, and a critique of the notions of good and evil. It is a story that uncovers the complex fabric of villainy, raising uncomfortable questions about justice, retribution, and the very nature of power.

A series of a boy drunk in other people's stories. Living in a village where entertainment is basically nowhere, a little boy living in the village met a group of adventurers that tells him stories that they experienced while travelling and also stories that they have heard along the way. The story led from one to another and, the little boy decided and sneaked out of the village to discover and learn about more stories currently left unheard by him in this world. *** Hello, Poisonknot here. It may very weird and demanding to say this but, I have started a novel back then called Every Dew Drop: A Lone Man's drink and it grew to view around a thousand. This was a lot for me and I was excited to have people to see my work however, I decided to hide it and stopped updating and releasing chapters. At the time I got a massive boost that people are enjoying what I make but I also doubted myself and sometimes, I am just pessimistic on what I am doing. I saw a thousand views but I cannot see a single "Hi" or even just a critique in my works. This caused my motivation and confidence to drop and I don't blame the people for it. It's just that I am so unsure on "what to do" or "am I doing, writing it ok?" The bottomline is, although it is very demanding, please do leave a comment, a reply or a sign that I may have mistyped incorrectly or I did a good job writing this part etc. I will really appreciate anything and even writing this took a huge amount of my courage. As long as you liked stories and you stay happy, I'll see you soon!

Plagued by bad luck and failure, a young girl chooses the wrong night to walk home alone. A simple hunch ignored, forever entwining her destiny to a barbaric inhuman world. In a single night, a seemingly insignificant human will disrupt a supernatural society. Will the woman escape with her life or will the impact of her death create permanent ripples in an uncertain future? Discover if morality is truly a concept of black and white– through eyes that have witnessed unfortunate truths, hands of the guilt-ridden and hearts burdened by duality. Humanity is a fragile thing for those whose survival depends on their ability to be a monster. ***** This is a re-release of Blood & Juniper (A Vampire Tale) with the most recent edits and fixes. I will upload chapters weekly. My old work is up for anyone who is curious, can't wait for uploads or has an affinity for the first draft. Critique is welcome if you'd like to compare the two. My aim is to make the most enjoyable reading experience... So please enjoy and thank you! **** Tags & Content warnings: Vampires, werewolves, multiple perspectives, blood, gore, violence, action, romance, language & some sexualty.

The Realms are a small world. Some have bountiful abundants of life, and others are but silent deserts. It’s a monumental task to travel between the boundaries of the worlds as few and far between know even of their existence, let alone of how to travel between them. Well expect one particular Realm, The Abyss. Well, to be precise, The Abyss is not as much a Realm as it is a collection of many Realms. So many in fact that no one knows how deep it actually is, as only the first few have known residents, since the deeper one goes the deadlier it is. Thanks to it, its population isn’t big, but few will dare underestimate a demon, much less one of the Lord who controls the vast scopes of the inhabited Abyss. But One of those demons is far more feared than the rest… And this is his tale. Hello, I am the author. If you like stories were MC is Evil and I mean Evil not someone that is trying to be evil but all his actions are misunderstood, or he was bad and is trying to be good, but everybody thinks he is bad...well you know what I mean. This novel has an Evil MC like Evil Evil. The r18 tag is mainly for violence, torture and psychological manipulation, and yes, there is some sex too. I intended to write this novel until completion (It will not be a daily upload but I will try to put at least 1 a week) unless something happens like me getting arrested because the police was suspicion why I google “How many bones can I break without killing the child” and others thing needed to make a story with some basic in reality. I think by now you get what type of story this is. So a little info as the first few chapters will follow a different character than the MC and it may look like someone put the wrong description but it isn’t. Well enjoy a read and give me some good critique as it is my first novel and I would like to improve. PS: English isn’t my first language, so if you find a mistake hit me in the comment I will fix it

ADOTL is about Rin a man who was reincarnated into a life with a second chance. This time he will do everything in his power to make sure his family and friends stay safe. ———————————————————————— Feedback word critiques welcomed through bulletags and contacting the author at nerusoda.business@gmail.com Any art for characters covers etc. is welcomed! Any art can be submitted through my discord NeruSoda#1436

A young child bears the hope of the most ancient and powerful race to exist. Can he bring back what was lost? (This is my first go at something like this so feel free to leave any critique or criticism)

Dominic was born with a serious disability in his world, he was born with no Magicore, something humans need to cast magic, however he trusts his instincts and does something relatively harmless, after a decade of trying he finally had an awakening, but wait, who' memories are these? ************** This is my first novel, so critique me as harshly as you like, I can use it to further my skills. I sincerely hope you all enjoy, and thank you for your time!

This is for school and is my first time. Critique is good. Title is temporary along with pretty much everything else. Probably posting every other week.

Jack has made contact with the other side. His life is now in the hands of peworful beings who are way beyond his understanding. What can he do? Backed into a corner, his only chance at survival is to entrust his life to the embodiment of all curses— a being hailed as the incarnate of all that is evil in this world. This will obviously end horribly... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The Million Cursed Rebirth Tribulation...?" I asked, obviously never having heard of it. I wasn't really a religious person, but I hadn't heard of stuff like this in hinduism or buddhism... "The Million Cursed Rebirth Tribulation is a tribulation of the Curse Path, and it puts the person ongoing the tribulation into a mental state in which they undergo 1 million lives. Though in your head, tens to hundreds of millions of years may have passed, no more than 1 second would have passed in the real world." At this moment my eyes were wide open in surprise; "That's cool and all, but what does the word 'Cursed' imply in the title?" I asked. This was definately crucial information I'd need to keep in mind. All three of Gōman's lips curled up into a crazed smile— a smile which holds no discrimination for who and what it disdains; a smile ready to kill everyone and everything in the world without discrimination if it pleased— that was when I was reminded of his true nature. "Here, brat, since I feel like it I'll tell you the truth as I don't mind you refusing and dying by the hands of those rightous faction goons. Kheh kheh, let me grace you with my abundant knowledge and wisdom! I shall enlighten you from the generosity of my heart!" Gōman laughed heartily using one mouth, cackled using another, and laughed, maniacally using the last, giving way for a disturbing scene. "Ok, first, as you begin your memories will gradually get erased and replaced with that of the cursed reincarnation you're in. The memories, emotions, state of mind, and mental being of the person you become, eventually losing all memories of this life. Second, each reincarnation shall be cursed and full of misery where you will either die an early death or live enough to see yourself bring your own end." At this point Gōman's eyes were full of ecstacy and ridicule for my misfortune; "And third, you might not even be 100 lives in before your mind breaks— turning yourself into the perfect human vessal! One which can't think and one that I can control at will! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Though this is what Gōman states, could all of that just be the tip of the iceberg? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *Author's thoughts: Hi. I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I was originally making a cultivation, reincarnation, etc... type of story but with the characters I have in mind I don't think that's my style of novel. For now I'll be using this novel a 'psudo-spin-off' series or an extended 'prologue' novel / origin story to give more insight on Jack's psyche, state of mind, way of thinking, morals and beliefs for future as to explain how he acts as of what he went through. Oh, and I'm also using this as a means to practice writing different scenes, scenarios, and exploring darker subjects. *Feedback and critiques appreciated.

It’s a retailing of rosary and a vampire story from the animes perspective I have not read the manga but I’m doing a critique on the anime mostly changing the male main character hopefully making the story still enjoyable

June was just playing the game Rise of Kings, the most popular VRMMORPG that came out in recent years and was relishing in his conquest. He was the top player in the world, and there was no one who could threaten him in the game, but at the moment seven of the top ten players decided to unite against him in order to try and take him down. "Hahaha! It will all be over soon! They have no idea they are walking into a trap!" June giggled in glee. On a monitor in front of June, he was watching a battle play out against the two forces. He was currently luring in the enemy forces in order to do a Hammer and Anvil tactic destroying them in between two parts of his armies. "Lord June, make sure to prepare the backup plan just in case" a deep and mature voice reminded him. "It is already ready! You fuss too much Atlas" June said as he waved his hand in the air. He watched as the enemy walked right into his trap blinded by their own bloodlust unaware that an army was behind them cloaked with an invisibility spell. In a few moments, the army was surrounded caught unprepared for the sudden ambush. June smiled and switched off the monitor as he stood up from his throne and stretched. He had no need to continue watching because he knew his subordinates could finish the rest. He began walking outside of his throne room because he wanted to go collect the loot from the battle, which was one of his favorite parts. Being able to watch as his enemy could do nothing but glare with hate as he took their items was one of the biggest joys you could get from defeating an enemy. He reached the throne room door as maids bowed to him and opened it as he walked passed. June smiled at them and nodded because even though he treated his enemies like shit he was extremely protective of his own people. He never understood why some people like to abuse their subordinates. Did they get some sort of sick pleasure from it? He sort of understood because he got pleasure from taking loot from his enemies, but that was different! He stole from bad people June comforted himself in his mind distancing himself from those sickos. Violently wrenched from his thoughts June felt a head-splitting pain go through his skull and he yelled in agony. "Master!!" shouts came from around him, but he could not respond and his vision began to blacken and the shouts of the worried maids around him began to quieten and June fell into darkness. ---- I'm not going to make false promises about daily chapters or never dropping the story. I will release when I can, and I will try to finish the story if I can. Chapter length depends on the release frequency tbh. If one chapter a week then maybe 5k words. If the release frequency increases then 1k words per chapter. Please leave any suggestions/critiques in the comments thanks! --- Cover Art is also not mine got it here from Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/pin/692076667714031201/

This was supposed to be a cliché story of a man who’s average in everything, aspiring to help his poor family but got into an accident and brought into another world of fantasy where he met a goddess who gave him cheats to “survive” and every beautiful girl he met falls inlove with him so he was forced to start his own harem while doing adventures around the world. Finally bringing peace and ruling over it in the end. But No, everything went to sh*t! He just graduated, got a job and one night, woke up in a world he knows nothing about, no accident, no goddess/god meeting him, no cheats, he just slept and there he was, with nothing but the clothes his wearing in his room when he went to sleep! “Whatever! I’ve always dreamt of being the protagonist in one those stories. Maybe this is it. The Goddess may just have not noticed me.. no problem, I could wait for my cheats to arrive” This is the story of a guy who naively believe he is the protagonist. Note from Author: This is a pet project of mine and I'm still new to this. So your support including you critique whether it's positive or negative(hope my weak fragile heart can take this) would be greatly appreciated. And best of all, I hope you'll enjoy my work.

This book's creation was for the purpose of proofreading and critiquing other people's novels on Webnovel.com Through this book, I'll be indirectly showcasing several books as I go in-depth with each chapter pointing out any inconsistencies, basic spelling/grammar errors and typos, and anything that doesn't make sense. I already predict that the comment section will probably get filled with active discussion over these books. Note, if you came here for a novel, tough luck. There is no novel, this is only for editing/proofreading/revisions/critique. Though if you were looking for something to read and some of these reviews were worth it, then good for you. :D

Will Phillips was a regular high schooler whi struggled with exams ans expectation from his parents All that changed when he acquires the system which helps him in achieving his goals Author's note: Thus is the first novel i am writing all sorts of commennts and critiques are welcome so that i can improve. leave your ideas in the comments so that i can implement them

Complacency is the embodiment of ignorance. To seek knowledge wholeheartedly is the only way to banish lies and falsehoods. When your entire knowledge of the world you live in is wrong, how do ascend from unawareness? Jeffery lives on Amer, a country descending from what was once the strongest country in the world. Now, it's riddled with revolution and war, and sealed from the rest of the world. A magical storm surrounds it, slowly chipping away at its foundations. Amer is falling, while Jeffery has the potential to rise. He gains the opportunity to become a mage, and he tries to unravel the mysteries surrounding his world, but can a puzzle ever be completed with only the edge pieces? ------------------------------------- The author of this book is a bored person who has some free time to waste and wants to improve his writing. plz give critique and help boost my gpa. plz. I mean I'll try to update this but I'm a real|l|y slow writer. Like, the first chapter took me some 6 hours, so... :D sorry, I hate slow authors, but now...

Jezebel Vince Mahon. A man exiled from his planet after actions out of his own mental control. After his exile, he is violently thrown into the realization that he is the royalty of an long-dead alien empire known as the Arrythian Empire. Inside of his own soul, is a very helpful AI companion, and a tasking system that gives him rewards for the completion of the tasks it desires. But for now? All he knows is that the universe is vast, and his future adventures are incalculable. (Please note, I'm only able to release one or two chapters a week due to my current obligations. I'll try and make sure they're always 1500 words minimum, but occasionally they may fall short. Please critique me in the comments, always looking for feedback! I'm also looking for a better cover, as I have the art skills of a walnut. If y'all have any good ideas, please just leave imgur links or something. I'll credit yall. Anywho, thanks for reading!)