Zane, Can You hear me?
“Zane, can you hear me?”
They said that time heals all wounds. But what if the wound never closes? What if it only deepens?
Zane and I were never supposed to happen. I didn’t need saving, and he didn’t need anyone. But somehow, we collided. Maybe it was the silence between us that spoke louder than anything else. Maybe it was the way he’d stare at the world like it didn’t matter, and I’d pretend not to notice, pretending my heart wasn’t breaking every time.
It was supposed to be temporary. A fleeting connection. I was never one to give in so easily, especially not to someone like him. But when he was around, the air shifted. The silence no longer felt like something to endure—it felt like something I could almost understand.
I never told him I loved him. Not out loud. I kept it buried, hidden behind carefully constructed walls, just as I always had. I didn’t need to say it. He would’ve never understood it anyway.
But he was my escape. And I was his.
And then, like everything else, he was gone.
“Zane, please. Just stay. Please.”
But I never said that. I never begged, never showed how badly I needed him to stay. Because I didn’t know how to. Because I thought if I said the words, everything would break. I never let anyone see what was inside, not even him.
The day I lost him, something inside me shattered. I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry, not in front of anyone. I stayed silent, like I always had. Because no one could know how much he had meant to me. No one could know that the weight of losing him was too much to carry.
He didn’t die because of me. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself. But I can’t shake the feeling that I failed him. I should’ve said something, done something—anything—to stop it. But the truth is, I was never enough to stop him from walking away.
“Zane… can you hear me?”
I whisper it to myself, late at night, when the world is still, and the pain is loudest. But even then, I don’t let anyone see it. I don’t let anyone know the depth of the void he left behind. No one sees the tears I hide or the pieces of myself I’ve lost along the way.
I keep telling myself it’s okay. That I’ll move on, that this is just a phase, that life will keep going. But it doesn’t. Life keeps slipping through my fingers, and nothing feels real anymore. He was my reality, my only truth, and now that he’s gone, I’m left questioning everything I thought I knew.
I go on with my days, keeping my head high, pretending that I’m fine. But every step I take feels like I’m walking further away from everything that mattered.
And in the quiet moments, when I’m alone with my thoughts, I ask again—“Zane, can you hear me?” But I already know the answer. The world is silent. And so am I.
