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Joe Rogan Podcast Jesus

Klas

**Topic: The Relationship Between Werewolves and Environmental Conservation** Ah, werewolves! Those majestic creatures that shake their furry selves on full moon nights, while humanity suspects that the real global crisis is not global warming, but rather the amount of screams echoing in the forests. If you think saving the planet is a difficult task, try adding a pack of werewolves to the equation and watch the magic happen! It's as if Gaia's army of good decided to use the "Help Thy Neighbor or Get Their Heads Roughly" methodology. Werewolves are, without a doubt, the pinnacle of evolution, if you consider that evolution got so bored that it decided to spice it up with fur, sharp claws and the ability to demand respect while biting the face of the guy who was cutting down the tree. We can compare them to those environmental activists who, after a good cup of organic coffee, put on a "Save the Turtle" t-shirt and think they're ready to face a tractor. The difference? The werewolves will probably snarl at the tractor and, with an immortal attack, transform the machinery into an elegant deer statuette. If you think condominium meetings are unbearable, try to imagine werewolves arguing about paper waste at their full moon celebration rituals. They gather with an intellectual tone, like a group of distinguished philosophers discussing whether Jesus’ sandals were vegan. “Oh, sure, the conscious use of recycled paper is important, but have you ever thought about the environmental impact of tearing a logger’s face off with your own teeth?” A debate of ideas that would make Aristotle cry tears of joy, while the earth trembles in terror. And let’s not forget the nostalgic side of the issue: these creatures are actually the answer you didn’t know you needed to your endangered plant problem. Want to give them a “don’t touch my forest” kind of protection? Is there anything more effective than a werewolf that will make you never look at the forest the same way again – let alone go into it to collect mushrooms? Why bother with all this “#LoveMySpoiledPets” hashtagging when you can just adopt a werewolf and laugh at the ninjas of destruction trying to threaten your pack? In conclusion, the real lesson we can learn from werewolves is that when it comes to the survival of the planet, it’s better to risk a few sharp teeth and an extra dose of anger than to sit on the couch watching a documentary about how turtles are having it harder than a marathon runner in an obstacle course. So the next time you hear a howl in the moonlight, remember: it’s just a werewolf concerned about the environment, wondering where the last tree he loved to mark his territory went! Which, by the way, is a fantastic metaphor for our fight against planetary destruction: that, just like a werewolf, we must be fierce, hairy, and willing to rip the face off anyone who dares to threaten the living Earth!
SuokTV · 1.8K Views

Mated To The Dead Prince

"But this feels real," She whispered. Curiosity got the best of her as she went around the coffin, luckily, it wasn't locked. She took a deep breath before pulling it open. "Jesus Christ!" Rose exclaimed, putting her hand over her chest as she breathed hard. She stood frozen beside the coffin, staring at a young man with the most beautiful face she'd ever seen, lying still and comfortably inside the coffin. Was he dead? He looked so pale like he was dead and yet so beautiful to be called dead. Talk about gothic beauty. Rose knew she should be running for her life at that moment, but she felt something drawing her closer to the man in the coffin, she flashed her light closer to his face as she reached her hand down and placed it right under his nose to check if he was still breathing. No air, his nose bridge was cold as ice too. Rose was still busy staring at the man's face when she felt something very icy touch her arm, she felt her heart drop to her stomach as she slowly turned her head to look at her arm, that's when she saw the white, slim, masculine fingers wrapped tightly around her wrist. Her soul left her and her heart completely stopped beating, before starting to beat like a parade band in her chest. "Hail fucking Mary!" Rose whispered in a frightened tone, her lips quivered and her eyes widened unnaturally. She felt her legs become paralyzed from fear and unable to move or run. She dared to fearfully turn around and look at the man's face again, just to find his blood-colored eyes, staring icily at her. She was about to scream when the young man suddenly pulled her into his coffin with incredible speed, and the last thing she remembered was feeling how cold his body was before she felt an unnatural sleep overtake her. *** Rose Thiago was an ordinary human girl who loved reading dark fantasies but never believed in them. She suddenly gets warned by her best friend never to read those kinds of books again if she doesn't want to make herself visible to the dark creatures or evoke their world to herself, but she calls her bluff and reads them over and over again. On a field trip, Rose suddenly finds herself falling into an endless hole, and when she finally meets the solid ground, she discovers that it is no longer familiar ground. She gravely realized that just as her friend said, she'd finally drawn the dark world to herself. She somehow manages to bump herself into a beautiful man lying inside a coffin and dared to touch him just for the dead man to suddenly hold her hands and disappeared with her. In that moment, she came to believe that magical creatures did exist. And she was about to discover that she had the blood of the sun. Two thousand years ago, to survive a dreadful poison, The prince of the dark world, Cassius Levi, sought refuge in his healing grave, only to awaken when the right time for his revenge came. What he didn't expect was to be forcefully awakened by an undeserving mortal.
Rosegold_n · 90.3K Views

Achtziger Jahre Sweetheart Wife

Gu Huai'an, ein junger Spross des Hofes Nr. 01, war schon in jungen Jahren zum Oberkommandierenden des Dragon Aviation Command Center aufgestiegen. Er war für sein kühles Auftreten bekannt und lächelte oder lachte nur selten. Er stammte nicht nur aus einer angesehenen Familie, sondern war auch das unerreichbare Juwel der Beidu No. 01 Courtyard Mansion. Plötzlich hörte er eines Tages, wie ihn jemand "kleiner Bruder" nannte. Als er der Stimme folgte, fragte ein hübsches Mädchen mit gleichgültigem Gesicht: "Entschuldigen Sie, Sir, kenne ich Sie?" Doch gleichzeitig: 【Wow, little brother is so handsome.】 【Es gibt Berge jenseits der Berge, Gebäude jenseits der Gebäude, aber der kleine Bruder ist hübsch und sanft.】 【Kleiner Bruder, Umarmung!】 Gu Huai'an: ...... Der Mund des kleinen Mädchens, trügerisch wie der eines Geistes. ********* Song Yunuan wanderte in einen Historienroman und wurde zu einer kleinen Bösewichtin, die bald beseitigt wurde - eine Rolle, die zu klein war, um kleiner zu sein. An ihrem ersten Tag im Buch stand sie im Hof der Familie Song und versuchte sich zu erinnern, warum die gesamte Familie Song in der Geschichte ausgelöscht werden sollte. Am Ende bemerkte sie nicht den versteinerten Gesichtsausdruck der Mitglieder der Familie Song. Später... Ihr Vater wurde der reichste Mann, ihr Bruder ein Top-Anwalt, ihr jüngerer Bruder ein Wissenschaftler, ihre jüngere Tante eine Sängerin, und sogar ihre Großmutter wurde eine Vermieterin. Sie selbst wurde zu jedermanns geliebtem Liebling. Song Yunuan: Was ist aus dem höllischen Start geworden, der mir versprochen wurde?
Joe Yishui · 3.6K Views

Secretary of the Empress

Fame. Money. Love. All of this, Joe had for eighteen years, of his life. Until a tragic accident happened before the peak of his football career. Which destroyed it in only a few seconds. When everyone loved him, they left him alone, broken in a hospital bed. Before he could come back, he lost the last members of his family. Then his former club comes with allegations, of a broken contract from his fault, and he lost all the earned money. He was left, with nothing. For eight years, he lived from day to day studying, working, having rehabilitation for his injured knee. As they say, what one time is taken, is given back. As he accidentally becomes secretary of Megan Clark by everyone called Empress. His life changed drastically after it. He found love in his boss, who first say these words to him. ‘Secretary of the Empress’ is a story about love, which slowly grows in the main characters. Because of many things which they will meet in their journey of revenge and protecting each other. -------------------- While now great view on sky and city below show up, boss turned to me, and when she looked at my eyes, she said: “Joe, I have something to tell you.” “Yes, boss,” I said while looking at her eyes, and when she walked closer to me, we looked at each other eyes. She said, “I like you.” While hearing her words, I had no answer for this, and while I looked at her, I asked, “excuse me?” “I love you, I want you to be my boyfriend,” she said, and while I looked at her, I couldn’t believe that this has happened, and while my mind still processed her words, she looked at me, and then she said, “so what is your answer?” ------------------------- Daily upload at 8:30 and 18:00(server time) The cover is not mine.
poziomowiec · 419.8K Views

The Child of Starlight & The King of Shadows

Have you ever experienced a day so bad you just died? Tell me about it. There I was, this scrawny high schooler always on the receiving end of bullying, and then boom, I'm playing hero to this little kid about to be pancake city beneath some wheels. And here's the kicker—I take the hit instead. Talk about instant payback. But instead of coming to in the back of an ambulance or, you know remaining a goner, my eyes pop open to this huge shiny blue moon, some celestial messenger in gleaming gear, and a set of stairs made out of actual starlight. So, it wasn't just bad luck that left me flattened out like a human pancake—I was picked. Chosen by who, you ask? Well, a super spooky mouthless and noseless god of eldraen decided I was the lucky one to get a big fat destiny plopped on me as if it was some group project I never asked for. Turns out, I'm meant to be the "Child of Starlight," the sole individual who's got the chops to take down the Dark Lord Hadeon, who's come back from the dead. And this Hadeon guy? He's not your average Joe wizard; he's the most powerful sorcerer there's ever been. Okay so typically, this is where I'd freak out and bolt. But something's up. Turns out, magic's a real thing. And guess what? I've got it. Not parlor tricks, either. I'm wielding power I never dreamed of..." Okay so here's the sticky part. Hadeon isn't just strong – man, that guy's is also way too tough, and he's got this bunch of followers convinced that reviving him is top-notch. What about me? I used to be the kid nobody noticed in high school, plus I've got this chatty sky-being giving me advice, a realm that's giving me side-eye, and not a single tip on being the brave one. Still, I didn't stick around after kicking the bucket just to watch everything go down the drain. Hadeon's looking for a brawl? Alright, let's have it out. We'll see who's the boss.
Slyfox · 235 Views

Life Of A Nobody - as a Villain

This is the tale of an average nobody, who after his death got transmigrated in a new world. The memories of his average life flashed before his eyes, as he found nothing that was noteworthy about him. So in this new world should he try to change that, should he wish to be supreme, rise to the peak or to rule the heavens, but he's too lazy for that. "And how come all the names are so familiar. Don't tell me, am I in that novel?" Soon after waking up he realised this world was based upon the very first novel he read years ago. At first he felt happy that finally something unexpected happened in his life. But that happiness was short lived as he remembered the plot of the book and the crisis that was coming for the world. If that wasn't enough he was living in the body of Rio Raven Blake - avatar of Nyx. Known by his other names like The last dark spawn, The first fallen or The infamous Devil. In a world brimming with dungeons, towers, Gods, Demons, monsters and magic - our MC finds himself trapped in the body of the last villain. "I don't care about the novel plot, I'll just ignore it, and live my life peacefully." At least that was his plan, until he heard a voice in his head , that he's been waiting for all this time. [DING] [TING] [TIDING] [DID YOU MISS ME??? ] 'The great villain system, what a funny name.' You can earn points by ruining the plotlines, and can get whatever you want. Let me see, I'm a master at messing things up. [What, someone is going to do a prophecy that I will become the villain after growing up - kill him while he's still a kid.] [what, this potion was made for the protagonist and the alchemist heroine - I'll take it with me.] [ohh you're the one who saves the protagonist when he was about to die - go to prison, you traitor.] [wait, you have a sister. but she is sick and needs help - here take this potion and work for me.] Got a money making slave for life. [What, my parents are fixing my engagement with the princess, who's also a main heroine, but will betray me later and help everyone kill me - Humph...just you wait...] Once the plot started many years later, at the academy entrance exam. Protagonist was shining brightly, breaking all records, taking first rank, but no one was talking about him. As the news came out that the genius of humanity Rio Blake, will be joining the academy too. Not only mortals, even Gods and Demons were surprised at this sudden development too. {Nyx nods at her believers achievements} {Odin says you've grown a lot} {Gauri/Kali challenges you to fight her believer} {Jesus prays for your souls redemption} {Anubis awaits your enemies doom} {Lucifer writes down your lines, as you take on the Devil persona} The protagonist just stared at the guy who took all the limelight from him, but his surprise turned to shock, when his sister ran and hugged the man, while crying her eyes out, saying she missed him and she was sorry. "What is happening? Who is he? {Apollo curses...} ## -- A/N - 1) NO HAREM. (I believe in soulmate love 2) MC doesn't care about right, wrong, good, evil - as long as he gets what he want, he'll do it. 3) He hates the so called righteous hypocrites, so don't think he'll be friends with protagonist. 4) MC is serious when it comes to relationships, so don't expect any kind of pokemon collection harem. 5) MC hates the plot, so he'll ruin it. Do not expect him to follow it or him trying to keep it same as written. 6) I don't like hiding my strength tropes, so not happening. He will be OP, and a badass. ## -- Join my discord for character arts and discussions https://discord.gg/zFTJsYP7kM DevilDarkness#0506
DevilDarkness · 2.1M Views

A Love Written In The Stars

In a world where power is claimed by bloodlines and politics, Meiying, a fierce and skilled warrior, returns home after years of hidden training to find her family gone and her homeland in ruins. Her life takes an unexpected turn when she saves Prince Cheng during a deadly ambush. Unbeknownst to her, this act binds her fate to his, revealing a powerful, untapped secret within herself—the rare ability to manipulate life force, a gift once wielded by the protectors of the throne. But as the Emperor’s desperate deal with a demon curses Cheng’s life and the empire’s stability, Meiying finds herself entangled in a battle far larger than personal revenge. With dark forces and political conspiracies threatening to destroy everything, Meiying must come to terms with her newfound powers and decide where her loyalty lies. Can Meiying, a warrior defined by strength become the key to breaking the curse and saving an empire in peril? As the prince fights for his destiny, will her path of vengeance lead to destruction—or will it be the salvation they both need? ——— Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. My body stiffened as a palace guard called for me from the other side, but I ignored it. Mei, on the other hand, began pushing me away in a panic. "Cheng, let go," she said, struggling in my arms. "Can't you hear him? What if he comes in and sees us like this?" "I don't care," I replied, my lips brushing her ear. "Tell me you forgive me, that's all I need. I won't let go until you do." I knew I was taking a risk, a huge one, if we were seen like this, there would be consequences. But losing Mei would be the bigger risk, the one I couldn't take. I couldn't let her slip away. "I just need to hear you forgive me, mei. That's all I need right now." The guard knocked again, calling my name, and Mei struggled harder. "Cheng, please," she said, her voice cracking under the strain. But I didn't budge. Finally she muttered, "Fine. I forgive you." "I forgive you, you crazy jerk." "You really mean that?" I asked, my voice barely audible. She nodded, exasperated, and only then did I release her. Just as I did, the door swung open, and I barely had time to step back before the palace guard entered, the guard rushed in, his face pale with worry. It was a close call. too close, but I didn't care. Mei flinched at the intrusion, but quickly composed herself, stepping away from me to a more respectable distance. The guard, wide-eyed and clearly flustered, fell to his knees in a bow. "My deepest apologies, Your Highness. I called for you several times but received no reply. I entered out of concern, fearing the worst." I glanced at Mei, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. She simply gave the guard one last look and walked out, leaving the room without a word. I let out a long, exhausted sigh, running a hand through my hair, still reeling from everything that had just happened. Turning back to the guard, I motioned for him to stand. "Get up" "And next time, don't enter my room without permission." ———— Author’s Note (Rong King) This story is a work of fiction, entirely created from my imagination. Any resemblance to real people, events, or places is purely coincidental. I have made every effort to craft a compelling narrative, but I acknowledge that some scenes or details may be inaccurate or unintentionally offensive. For this, I sincerely apologize. My intention is to entertain and inspire, not to harm or misrepresent. Thank you for your understanding. As we journey together through this story, my greatest hope is that our lives reflects God’s love and truth in all we do. I put my faith in Jesus Christ, who gave His life for me, and it’s my prayer that His grace and mercy touch each of us. Thank you for being part of this. May God bless you abundantly!
RongKing · 32.9K Views

The Server's Chronicle: A Fantasy Of Faith

Senior Server Felix stood at the front of the church, his voice steady and solemn as he greeted the congregation. “Our help is in the name of the Lord,” he intoned. “Who made Heaven and Earth,” the people responded in unison, their voices matching his reverent tone. “Today, we initiate new members into this divine and holy Order,” Felix continued. “Today, we welcome new brethren into the bosom of our Lord Jesus Christ.” At the back of the church, Louis sat on one of the few single chairs, his posture slightly slouched as his focus remained on a sheet of music in his hands. The title read, "Brightest and Best – Key of A-flat." 'Why didn’t Gramps give me an F or G? A-flat is so difficult, and I only have three days to finish it,' he grumbled silently, his brow furrowing in frustration. But he dared not voice his complaints. He could already imagine his grandfather assigning him even more difficult pieces—F-sharps and endless A-flats—as punishment. From the front of the church, a serene voice called out, “Harry! Step forward!” Louis glanced up, momentarily pulled from his inner musings. His eyes landed on a girl stepping forward from the pews. She had black hair neatly styled in a bun and striking green eyes that seemed to shine with warmth and composure. Dressed in a modest brown dress and black sandals, with a rosary resting gracefully around her neck, she exuded a calm, dignified presence. Her tanned skin and graceful demeanor only added to the aura of reverence surrounding her, befitting an Altar server. 'Sigh,' Louis thought as he brushed a hand through his white hair, his blue eyes softening with a mix of admiration and envy. 'I wonder what it’s like to be an Altar server. They all seem so pure and divine… and powerful.' Just as he returned his attention to his music, a calm, gentlemanly voice spoke beside him. “You could also be an Altar server, if you’re interested.” “Huh?” Louis blurted out, snapping his head to the side. But no one was there. “What in the name of Jesus is going on here?” he muttered, glancing nervously around. “At least you know my name,” the voice replied again, seemingly amused. “What?” Louis whispered, his heart beginning to race. "I'm certain you will be a good server," the voice said, calm yet enigmatic. Louis narrowed his eyes, still searching for its source. "Who are you?" "I have many personalities. I have many names," the voice replied with an air of mystery. "It’s your choice which one you accept." "You’re not making any sense," Louis muttered, growing more unsettled. "Blessed are those who have not seen but believed…" Before Louis could respond, his vision blurred, and the world around him seemed to melt away. He jolted awake, gasping for air. His hands clutched the crumpled sheet of music, its corners bent from his restless grip. His head teetered precariously over the edge of his bed, a faint ache in his neck reminding him of the awkward position he’d been in. "Holy Mother of Jesus!" he exclaimed as he lost his balance, tumbling off the bed in a heap of blankets and scattered papers.
JuniKelv_ · 2.9K Views

Married to my nemesis

Prudence Marvel, the firstborn of the Lane Marvel clan and second-in-command of the mafia enterprise, is on the verge of assuming a new role within the Lane Marvel crime syndicate. However, just as the moment approached, an unexpected turn of events exposed her vulnerability, leading to her loss of position due to the passing of her father, the boss. The family endures a significant loss, and a new leader emerges, someone who dismisses her family's legacy. Prudence conducts an inquiry and uncovers that the murderer of her father is, predictably, the self-proclaimed new mafia boss. Her adversary, Vixen Joe. She swears an oath and embarks on a quest to avenge her father's death and reclaim what was rightfully hers. However, her journey ends in failure and ultimately leads to her demise. A shameful end finds her on her knees before her sworn enemy. This man not only murdered her father and stripped her of everything she cherished but also caused her own bloodshed. Though her life ends, her spirit receives a second opportunity for vengeance. Her soul is reborn in the body of Enim Zoon. However, this opportunity seemed undeserving. Why? The body she inhabits belongs to the mistress of the man she considers her sworn enemy. How could she achieve her goal when she wasn't only placed in the body of his mistress, but also faced the revelation that Vixen wasn't the true villain behind her downfall? Instead, it was someone else entirely. The individual with the silver mask. Was she truly granted just 61 days left to exist on Earth? How might she fulfill her mission once more? Could this reincarnation foster a fresh bond between her and Vixen? Will her animosity persist, or will her affection endure? Despite being in a new body, can she uncover the secrets that were hidden from her? Vixen Joe, a devoted follower of Prudence's father, ultimately rises to prominence, assuming the role of the Mafia world's king. However, after his master's death, his regime begins to falter, and he is soon accused of the murder. Unaware of the circumstances surrounding the death, he finds himself manipulated by an enigmatic figure who possesses his deepest secret and holds him responsible for his master's demise. To cope with the overwhelming anguish, he seeks solace in a new mistress, hoping she might ease his suffering. Unexpectedly, this new mistress offers him an unfamiliar experience, distinct from those of his past companions. What made her so unique? For some reason, he couldn't quite grasp why she intrigued him yet also seemed a bit more troubling than he anticipated. Now, he must uncover the reality of who this mysterious woman truly is.
Favour_9_Olajide · 75K Views

Villain by Force: Heroes Are My Prey

Linggis Joe, a hybrid class hunter specializing in both support and swordsmanship, had one goal in life: stay under the radar and live comfortably. Despite being a skilled swordsman, he intentionally downplayed his abilities to maintain his role as a support, avoiding attention from superiors who might assign him to high-profile parties filled with Rank S hunters. For Linggis, fame, rank promotions, or extra money were unnecessary. The steady salary of a Rank A hunter was more than enough. Linggis spent most of his days analyzing the lives of Rank S and SS hunters through social media or observing them during raids—not out of admiration, but to ensure he stayed far away from their chaotic world. All he wanted was a quiet, predictable life without the burden of joining elite parties or dealing with the responsibilities that came with them. But his peaceful existence shattered during a raid. A spear, thrown by a renowned hunter, ricocheted off a monster and flew toward him. In his attempt to avoid it, Linggis fell into a deep abyss within the dungeon. When he woke up, he was no longer in his world. His system had been replaced with the Pure System, resetting all his levels to zero. Now, he couldn’t rely on the usual methods of leveling up; instead, he had to improve through conventional means like training and perseverance. To make matters worse, the system had assigned him the role of a villain. If he refused, the system would kill him. Trapped in this new reality, Linggis Joe must confront heroes sent to stop him while trying to navigate a world that despises him. Can Linggis Joe survive in a world that demands his downfall? Or will he succumb to the villainous role forced upon him?
Levi_lly · 947 Views

LOVE LUST AND LUXURY

“LOVE IS FOR THE WEAK“ she now believes. Bella finally managed to bring her long term relationship to an end after catching her soul mate in bed with another stranger. *********** i was … I wanted to just believe it was an imagination, but as much as I wanted for it to be it wasn’t. I’ve been standing here for over a minute now and they both still didn’t know i was there. Watching the love of my life passionately digging into another girl… I can’t even remember the last time he made love to me like this. ****** You bastard !! I raised my voice making the two lovers shriek at the same time. “Jesus” Ryan exclaimed jumping off the girl he was digging in like, she was a repulsive force. “Oh now you believe in Jesus?” oh my God bell it’s not what you think I swear he said drawing close to me immediately I wanted to discriminate and shout at him but the voices… the words hung in my throat. I just had one question on my mind. “why?” ***** ..._I know you might think me heartless for doing this, Bella ... but you also have to be considerate. I'm just a man, driven by my own desires and needs... I crave a fresh start, a new chapter in my life... and we both know our relationship was never more than a fleeting indulgence, a pleasure-driven fantasy. “I want a fresh start”. ********* A guy Bella had dedicated a good amount of her life time to… left because he wanted… “a fresh start?” well now from a angelic lady who believed in love over everything to a cold hearted woman with a determined urge for self transformation generally. Bella chases wealth and power being what she was dumped for but gets herself into games that seem bigger than her and even when left with choices she plays dirty to get what she wants.
Siplgnd777 · 7.4K Views
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