Rwby Critique

A kitsune without a past, a child of darkness, and a predator of the night. Three intertwined destinies in a world on the brink of collapse. In Tharym, the yokai port city, battles are unavoidable, and Ayun Arthan has always despised them. His life seems to take a simpler turn when he is tasked with protecting Lirany, a blind girl with an extraordinary gift. But peace is only an illusion. As the realm's magic begins to fade, Ayun, Lirany, and Hachyro – an arsian from an ancient race – embark on a perilous journey to the Guild's Order, the only refuge that can offer them safety. Amidst the inferno engulfing the world, the avrastes carve a path toward the Ocean Between Worlds, where Abyssal Whales lie in wait, threatening any wrong step. One tower falls as another rises, and the children of chaos unleash their wrath. In the heart of these struggles, the fox gains its second tail, while a new constellation takes shape in the sky. A tale of courage, determination, and the fight for survival in a universe where both magic and hope are fading into oblivion. Author's Note: This is my first series of this kind in English, and I would be incredibly grateful for any feedback or critique. I’m eager to improve my writing style, and your insights are truly invaluable. Thank you!

Jing Yao a couché avec le PDG d'une riche famille qui était réputé pour se tenir à l'écart des femmes. Elle est même tombée enceinte. Jing Yao a grandi sans recevoir d'amour de ses parents. Bien qu'elle et sa sœur fussent jumelles, elle ne ressemblait en rien à sa sœur aînée. Ses parents favorisaient sa sœur aînée. Jing Yao a été forcée de commencer à travailler jeune, tandis que sa sœur pouvait rester à la maison à ne rien faire. Jing Yao devait payer ses propres frais de scolarité. Un seul sac à main que possédait sa sœur coûtait plusieurs dizaines de milliers. Non seulement cela, mais sa sœur aînée sortait même avec son fiancé, avec qui elle était fiancée depuis l'enfance. Formellement parlant, Jing Yao était la deuxième sœur de la famille. Cependant, en réalité, elle était tellement pauvre qu'elle ne pouvait même pas payer son propre loyer. Sa famille ne lui avait jamais montré aucun soin ou affection. Pour le bien du mariage de sa sœur aînée, la mère biologique de Jing Yao l'a piégée en la faisant boire avec un investisseur. Elle a même été droguée. Heureusement, elle était suffisamment alerte pour s'enfuir. Cependant, elle s'est enfuie dans la mauvaise direction. En conséquence, elle a fini par coucher avec Liang Xun. Après être rentrée chez elle, la mère de Jing Yao l'a engueulée. Son odieux de fiancé l'a humiliée. Jing Yao a annulé le mariage sur le champ. Depuis lors, elle a quitté la famille Jing. Plus tard, Liang Xun a découvert que Jing Yao était enceinte. Il l'a approchée et lui a demandé de l'épouser. Cependant, Jing Yao l'a rejeté. Liang Xun lui a directement offert 100 millions comme cadeau de mariage, et elle a finalement accepté. Des rumeurs ont commencé à se répandre sur internet. Jing Yao, une célébrité récemment populaire, était soupçonnée de s'être impliquée dans la relation de sa sœur aînée. Certains ont même dit qu'elle était la sugar baby de Liang Xun. Malgré les critiques, Jing Yao a publié un post positif en réponse. "Je n'ai pas de sœur aînée et je suis la sugar mommy de Liang Xun." Liang Xun a immédiatement commenté son post. "Ma femme a raison."

[Statut : TERMINÉ] « Feng Tianyi ! Ton frère a détruit ma famille Tang ! Y a-t-il quelque chose de bon dans ta famille ? » « En. Ne vois-tu pas comment nos gènes de belle apparence se transmettent à nos enfants ? Quant à la dette de la famille Feng, je te la paierai. » Il dit nonchalamment. Tang Moyu se moqua et croisa les bras sur sa poitrine. « Comment comptes-tu payer ? » « Que dirais-tu que je te rembourse avec mon corps ? » « ... » Tellement sans honte ! L'homme assis dans son fauteuil roulant éclata de rire en voyant son expression contrariée. « Mademoiselle Tang, ça ne sert à rien de faire semblant de ne pas l'avoir vu puisque tu as littéralement grimpé dans mon lit et profité de moi. » Il y a cinq ans, Tang Moyu était l'impératrice du monde des affaires et était au sommet de sa carrière avant d'être réduite à néant lorsque son fiancé est tombé amoureux d'une autre femme. C'était acceptable puisqu'il n'y avait pas d'amour entre elle et Feng Tianhua, mais qui aurait pu penser que cette « Cendrillon » était un loup déguisé en mouton ? Et puis il y a Feng Tianyi, le successeur tristement célèbre de la famille Feng, un auteur acclamé par la critique qui secouait constamment la liste des meilleures ventes avec ses livres. Les rumeurs disent qu'il était colérique et de mauvaise humeur. Il était si impitoyable que ni les hommes ni les femmes ne voulaient de sa compagnie. Les rumeurs disent même que son visage était si beau et hors de ce monde. Il était pratiquement un dieu parmi les hommes. C'était dommage qu'il fût handicapé. Les deux n'étaient jamais censés se rencontrer à nouveau, mais une paire de petits buns doux est intervenue. « Oncle, nous n'avons pas d'argent pour te payer les dégâts. » Le plus grand des petits buns a dit. « Mes manuscrits n'ont pas de prix, » répondit cet oncle séduisant avec amusement. « Oncle, si ça ne te dérange pas, pouvons-nous payer avec notre maman ? Elle est aussi inestimable. » Ainsi la paire de petits buns doux et l'oncle séduisant conclurent un accord mais qui aurait pensé que la femme en question était une reine froide comme la glace venue de l'enfer qui avait une étrange affinité pour les sucreries ? —— Éditeur/relecteur : ninaviews Couverture du livre : Bizzybiin / droits d’auteur 2020 anjeeriku

Can a old dog learn new tricks? 25 year old game designer Xavier hasnt played a video game since he left school but by the urging of a friend decided to try a new full dive vr mmorpg. After becoming a samurai in-game lets see how far he gets and who knows maybe the world might change because of his actions. *** Author-nim: this is my first work in a long time so show some surpport, i'll keep updates consistent and please if u got any suggestion or areas for critique i'm all ears. Daily release Wednesday-Friday and special batch release periodically on sundays :3

Un chico sin ningún recuerdo de su anterior vida, es reencarnado en el mundo de Remnant por una diosa desconocida, con una misión. Cogerse a todas las mujeres que pueda...

Being the author of the breakout novel, Gates of The Primordials, Jarren Fletcher did not care about the constant critiques claiming he had a habit of treating extra characters as mere plot devices, creating and then dumping them once they’d served their purpose. To Jarren, it didn’t matter. Extras were just that—extras. All that mattered was the main character. But Jarren never expected to wake up in his own story, reincarnated as one of the meaningless, disposable extra characters, Deremiah Morcant—a coward who took his own life to escape the perilous challenges of the Gate Trials. Now, Jarren has to face those deadly challenges himself in the body of a weak, insignificant extra. He must find a way to survive in the rules of the dangerous world he had created, whilst also trying to save it. But time is running out. The next Wave is coming, and so are the paragons.

I appreciate you reading my book "Pokémon: Last Quake". To start, I want to outline a few points and establish some rules that I will adhere to throughout the writing process: System: The main character (MC) will not be provided with any system, ensuring that all achievements are earned through effort rather than given due to external factors. Additionally, there will be no levels, signifying that growth is achieved through experience, not predetermined by numbers. Ships: The narrative will not be heavily centered on romance; however, if it does emerge, there will be just one canonical partner for the main character. Comments: Ideas and critiques are welcome as they help maintain focus. Please feel free to share them, and if they are incorporated, the contributor's name will be acknowledged at the chapter's conclusion. Lemons: There will be no on-screen lemons, I will be only providing brief descriptions before cutting to the next part of the story. Embark on a tale of transformation from weakness to strength, centered around a young man's adventure in the Pokémon universe. Thank you for being part of this journey, and I hope you enjoy the experience. By Mugen Strife

Under the new red sun, the mutated animals and the mutated people called "fighters" are engaged in a never-ending war for control of the Earth. When three delinquents students are given scholarships to Yellow Sun Academy, the most prestigious fighter academy, it falls to them and their new friends to defend the Earth from the animals. Can the fighter students rise to the occasion and saved all of mankind? Or will the animals finally win? (Inspired by Rooster Teeth's RWBY)

Tu eres Aurora, hija de un empresario en quiebra, viviendo una vida de Cenicienta, te obligar a casarte con un hombre guapo pero a la misma vez aterrador, nadie lo quiere cerca, todos le tienen miedo, ¿Cómo te irá a ti? siendo tan bella, una luz encantadora, conviviendo con tal personaje? será verdad lo que dicen de él o no? Os invito a pasar, leer e imaginar.

A person gets transmigrated to ancient china as the current crown prince with a world conquest system which gives him some abilities which he uses for more than just world conquest. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ this is a novel focused on smut which i have never written so i want to try it. I am a total amateur in this area so some critique would be helpful. Contains: hypnosis/mind control, Yandere( A lot but will like be more the submissive type). a little netori but NO NTR and will also contain underage sex till even 12 or something like that so if that disgusts you pls don't read this. Also Incest also if there are some pictures they are from pintrest and if their respective creator doesn't want them here il put them away ------------------------------------------------------------------------- I just wanna say i respect woman and people and that this is just a novel with no disrespect to women

In the cozy, cobblestoned town of Thundrel, Lilly Baker feels unfulfilled living the life of a baker, and wants to do something more with her life. After dreaming about the amulet she's had since she was a child, she decides to research it, and discovers that it holds secrets beyond what she could have imagined. The life she wanted to live seemed a lot more achievable now, and she is determined to use this chance for what it's worth. Author note: This is my first story, so I hope you'll be careful with critique. I put it on Royal Road first, but I guess there's no reason to keep it only there. I hope you enjoy! I have no idea if male oriented is right for this story, it feels like it could fit both genders. I stopped releasing here on webnovel, but it's still going on royal road if you want a better reading experience. I also have pictures there, which I couldn't figure out how to include here.

Step into the world of Maxwell De Venti, feared Mafia lord and his deadly wife Angelina De Venti, a notorious assassin and serial killer. As they awaken in a strange new realm vastly different from the earth they once knew. Do not own the art, credits to the owner. New author with no editor yet, I'll do my best. Reviews and critiques will be happily appreciated.

A teenager is given a choice, be reborn and forget their current life's memories or be reborn with their memories intact and buy a power of their choice but through the use of their karma. The teenager chooses the second option and says the power they want. The teenager, once again, is portaled away. A teen awaken in a hospital bed. He also remembers something he had forgot and says, "I can't believe I was reincarnated in My Hero Academia... At least it's not Marvel or DC." [Ding] [Host's Past Life Memories Detected, Exiting Dormant State] "I didn't ask for a system!" ______________________________________ Authors Notes: You want to know more details of the story. You know what to do. This book contains themes such as suicide, blood, and gore. Those who are not comfortable with these, please do not read this book. RWBY was made by Rooster Teeth, and My Hero Academia was made by Kōhei Horikoshi. P.S. First time writing a story. Creative criticism is appreciated. Sep. 15: This book is now abandoned. After two months of trying to decide on how to continue the story, I made the decision to pull the plug. If anyone wants to use this idea of mine for a story and add their own ideas and twists to it, I don't mind.

In this world where men are seen as the weaker ones and women strive for power wealth and glory. Maxim finds himself dealing with the outcome of his desire for wisdom. That being all of his emotions. Maxim must rely on his intellect to further himself among all the people that would do him harm or try to claim him for themselves. my first novel and i just want to have some fun imagining and expanding on concepts i feel have unexplored potential. of course reviews and suggestions always welcome critiques about my writing are also helpful

In the year 2050, humanity teeters on the brink of extinction, waging a desperate war against the ancient race known as The Vicestra—a demonic species driven by sin, preying on humans for their own insidious gain. The world government is in shambles, religions fade into obscurity, and the survival of humankind rests in the hands of Vicestra hunters and the six powerful founding clans. Tessa Marlowe, a newly blooded Vicestra hunter with a past cloaked in mystery. Haunted by the gruesome details of her birth and struggling to hold onto her dwindling humanity, she embarks on a relentless quest for revenge against the Vicestra who brutally murdered her father figure and mentor. As Tessa battles these ancient foes and mythical creatures, she must confront her own dark origins. Will she rediscover her humanity and unravel the secrets of her enigmatic past? Or will her journey uncover something even more horrific? Prepare for a thrilling saga of vengeance, discovery, and survival in a world where the line between human and monster is dangerously blurred. (AUTHORS NOTE) I haven't written for a very very long time so if there's any advice or critiques, ill welcome it. I'm mainly trying to practice with this novel so the plot isn't fully fleshed out even though it should be, and I'm trying to be more descriptive with this piece of work. Anyways, Thank you :)

First fic, Extremely Op!Mc Evil!Mc. Gamer with the ability Hakai - the power wielded by Gods of Destruction. M for Creativity, Gore, and Profanity. No lemons for the time being but it's a possibility. First world is RWBY.

"I've always dreamt of being a footballer, this time I will achieve it with everything I got" A young man gets to have another chance to fullfil his childhood dream will he be able to? [A/N: this is my first time writing a novel any reviews and critique will be heavily appreciated]

Disclaimer: This story includes visual portrayals of extreme violence, blood, and gore. [Audience Rating: 18+] — Meet Jack Greyson, an ordinary human from Earth who unwittingly activated a certain item that transported him to a distant world located in the vast and endless Seas of Stars. Appearing as the weakest and most feeble in this world, Jack must fervently train and swiftly grow stronger using the 'Trifaceted Talent System'—a potent and enigmatic, talent-infusing interface of unknown origins. This system will transform his vulnerability, frailty, and oppression into unbounded, obliterative savagery, immense desolating strength, and unparalleled destructiveness by imbuing him with three phenomenal talents: unbound might, limitless speed, and the ability to ceaselessly manifest countless, myriad battle drones—technologically sophisticated ones hugely advanced than monumental fighter drones from hundreds of thousands of centuries in the future. Furthermore, each of these talents come with complementing marvelous and fascinating abilities that will make Jack apocalyptically strong, destructively fierce, and incomparably fearsome. But all these, he would need to constantly, diligently work for and earn by completing numerous secret tasks, as well as minor, common-event to grand, special-event missions that have varying degrees of difficulty, dangers, and peril—some could turn him into a disabled cripple with torn-off limbs and shredded, gashed, or melted skin, or rendered as a viciously ruined corpse. While others could leave him as scattered drops of bright, rusty red fluid, staining the ground, walls, or filling the atmosphere confined in whatever area he was reduced to as either crimson fog or mist. To know more, accompany Jack Greyson in his unrelenting, dauntless, and indefatigable, extremely perilous quests across numerous unbounded worlds or vast dimensional planes that dot the 'boundless Seas of Stars' and are filled with strange, strong and agile entities, ravenous beastly creatures, and terrifying sentient monstrosities. In these unknown, foreign worlds and planes, Jack will attempt to dominate their powerful inhabitants and leave behind his indelible mark, lingering vestige, and everlasting legacy on each of them! *** This story intertwines compelling epic actions, daring adventures, advanced technology, preternatural powers, a unique Level-Up System, romance, and the complexities of enviable, loyal and beautiful friendships turned family. Enjoy! :) _ P.S: Remember to cast your vote, share your thoughts on what resonates with you or doesn't, and provide critiques. Your feedback is appreciated!

You know, my mother and father always told me to do good deeds, help others, and be an upstanding citizen. If I do those things, then I'll bring good Karma to myself, and life will reward me. That was a lie.. or was it? Reincarnation is tricky stuff, and now I have a whole lot of other things on my plate, and I'm pretty sure I can't eat most of them. Gods, demons, different races of different creeds, and a vast multiverse to explore, and it all began because someone sucked at driving. With my newfound body and System, I'll take on everything, while having fun at the same time of course! I've improved my writing a little, but by all means please let me know if you'd like something added. If you have any suggestions, tips, or anything else, then please critique me. If you're gonna leave a bad rating then at least tell me why please. A HUGE thanks to Commonnerfer and Mister_Immortal for inspiring me to write. It would mean a lot to me if you went ahead and at least tried their novels. I found them funny and well written. Drop a stone for them while you're at it! If you two are reading this, thank you for giving me a drive in this world. *I do not own nor claim to own any artwork on the cover unless this notice is not present. If you are the owner of an image I use and want me to take it down, please contact me as I will do so immediately.*

A message suddenly appeared on Li Chen’s phone. “If one day you suddenly woke up, found yourself on a deserted island and could only choose three of the ten items listed below, what would you choose?” [1. A female model with the face of an angel and a hot body] [2. An experienced male bodyguard that obeys your every command] [3. Two loyal Tibetan Mastiffs] [4. A bag of grain seeds] [5. 10 boxes of compressed biscuits] [6. A revolver (loaded with 10 bullets)] [7. A Tang knife] [8. A lifeboat] [9. A set of fishing gear] [10. A standard first-aid kit (with antibiotics, bandages, etc.)] He commented below and said, “If I choose, will you actually give them to me?” He questioned, “Why can’t I choose them all? Are you worried about surveillance on the island?” He joked, “I only need to choose No. 1. 10 years later, I will turn the deserted island into Shanghai.” Initially, Li Chen was humored by the message. That was until his plane crashed the next day. Everyone on the plane ended up together on a deserted island.

As they stood in a void, ready to embark on their interdimensional adventure, Rugaris explained their mission. Y/n's enthusiasm shone through as he connected the dots, recognizing the references to fictional worlds like RWBY and MHA. Naomi, on the other hand, remained grounded, dismissing those worlds as mere fiction. With a final farewell, they were enveloped in a blinding light, whisked away to their first destination. The unknown awaited them, but they faced it together, united by love and a newfound purpose.

Welcome to Villain's World, where mercy is a forgotten language, and violence the currency of existence. Social status here is determined by one's Tier of Villainy. Though cutthroat and ruthless, Antagonia ran just fine… Until one day, portals to the Human World emerged. Hidden beneath a veil of justice and liberation, the Humans invaded their lands. Through hypocrisy and shady ploys, many Villains fell victim to these cunning Humans. The Demon Family, a once great Villain Clan, was amongst the victims. Daseos Demon, the fifth son and a child at the time, was left to fend for himself as his entire family fell to the hands of the humans. He was orphaned to the L.U.S.T Inn, a high-end brothel where the owner, Madame Allura and her courtesans became his family. This is the story of Daseos's relentless quest for revenge as he ascends the villain hierarchy. His aims are twofold: to exact vengeance for his fallen family and to safeguard Antagonia from the malevolent humans who feign justice while pillaging their lands. Join Daseos Demon as he confronts not just external adversaries, traitors but also the darker aspects of his own nature as he navigates the murky waters of a society where morals were but a joke. And of course, with the astounding death rates of this harsh environment, it only made sense that its people evolved to have turbo-charged primal urges, to survive, to destroy, to… lust. "A Villain’s World" offers a compelling narrative, filled with intricate characters, moral ambiguity, and a critique of the notions of good and evil. It is a story that uncovers the complex fabric of villainy, raising uncomfortable questions about justice, retribution, and the very nature of power.

A series of a boy drunk in other people's stories. Living in a village where entertainment is basically nowhere, a little boy living in the village met a group of adventurers that tells him stories that they experienced while travelling and also stories that they have heard along the way. The story led from one to another and, the little boy decided and sneaked out of the village to discover and learn about more stories currently left unheard by him in this world. *** Hello, Poisonknot here. It may very weird and demanding to say this but, I have started a novel back then called Every Dew Drop: A Lone Man's drink and it grew to view around a thousand. This was a lot for me and I was excited to have people to see my work however, I decided to hide it and stopped updating and releasing chapters. At the time I got a massive boost that people are enjoying what I make but I also doubted myself and sometimes, I am just pessimistic on what I am doing. I saw a thousand views but I cannot see a single "Hi" or even just a critique in my works. This caused my motivation and confidence to drop and I don't blame the people for it. It's just that I am so unsure on "what to do" or "am I doing, writing it ok?" The bottomline is, although it is very demanding, please do leave a comment, a reply or a sign that I may have mistyped incorrectly or I did a good job writing this part etc. I will really appreciate anything and even writing this took a huge amount of my courage. As long as you liked stories and you stay happy, I'll see you soon!

Reach had fallen. Noble Team is gone. And Earth is all that's left. Spartan B312 had made his last stand and is mysteriously sent into another world where magic exists. He will have to find a way back to UNSC space. He will meet new friends and new foes. –This is my first story. I will rewrite this when I gain more experience as a writer. –I don't own RWBY or Halo. They belong to their respective companies. –This story will mostly follow the events in RWBY but later it will follow its own storyline with other characters, OCs will be added in this story and original names will be added to some characters that don't have already established first or last names. Original backstories will also be given to the characters that don't or barely have a backstory, and there will be returns to different characters within the halo and possibly the RWBY universes. I do hope you enjoy this.

Plagued by bad luck and failure, a young girl chooses the wrong night to walk home alone. A simple hunch ignored, forever entwining her destiny to a barbaric inhuman world. In a single night, a seemingly insignificant human will disrupt a supernatural society. Will the woman escape with her life or will the impact of her death create permanent ripples in an uncertain future? Discover if morality is truly a concept of black and white– through eyes that have witnessed unfortunate truths, hands of the guilt-ridden and hearts burdened by duality. Humanity is a fragile thing for those whose survival depends on their ability to be a monster. ***** This is a re-release of Blood & Juniper (A Vampire Tale) with the most recent edits and fixes. I will upload chapters weekly. My old work is up for anyone who is curious, can't wait for uploads or has an affinity for the first draft. Critique is welcome if you'd like to compare the two. My aim is to make the most enjoyable reading experience... So please enjoy and thank you! **** Tags & Content warnings: Vampires, werewolves, multiple perspectives, blood, gore, violence, action, romance, language & some sexualty.

The Realms are a small world. Some have bountiful abundants of life, and others are but silent deserts. It’s a monumental task to travel between the boundaries of the worlds as few and far between know even of their existence, let alone of how to travel between them. Well expect one particular Realm, The Abyss. Well, to be precise, The Abyss is not as much a Realm as it is a collection of many Realms. So many in fact that no one knows how deep it actually is, as only the first few have known residents, since the deeper one goes the deadlier it is. Thanks to it, its population isn’t big, but few will dare underestimate a demon, much less one of the Lord who controls the vast scopes of the inhabited Abyss. But One of those demons is far more feared than the rest… And this is his tale. Hello, I am the author. If you like stories were MC is Evil and I mean Evil not someone that is trying to be evil but all his actions are misunderstood, or he was bad and is trying to be good, but everybody thinks he is bad...well you know what I mean. This novel has an Evil MC like Evil Evil. The r18 tag is mainly for violence, torture and psychological manipulation, and yes, there is some sex too. I intended to write this novel until completion (It will not be a daily upload but I will try to put at least 1 a week) unless something happens like me getting arrested because the police was suspicion why I google “How many bones can I break without killing the child” and others thing needed to make a story with some basic in reality. I think by now you get what type of story this is. So a little info as the first few chapters will follow a different character than the MC and it may look like someone put the wrong description but it isn’t. Well enjoy a read and give me some good critique as it is my first novel and I would like to improve. PS: English isn’t my first language, so if you find a mistake hit me in the comment I will fix it

Aaron is a social outcast. But he will soon relise that having people around only gets them dead or worse. Will he have the coutage to be the hero or succumb to the villain