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Wide Pelvis Subliminal

Bro, I'm not an Undead!

Bro! You wouldn’t believe this! Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday. Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang. Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?! I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right? RIGHT?! I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be! From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?! A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something! Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle. Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS! GAAAAH! Jeez this is happening too fast! However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while! A new path of power! I can NOT be an undead! I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead! Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them! I’m no longer on the path for Undeath! Only Lifelessness awaits me! I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale! I am... SKULLIUS! And I’m not an UNDEAD! ...... [Author’s Answers To Popular Readers’ Questions] Q: (IHateArjuun77) -Hey author, is your book trash?- A: (Author) -Haha, screw you dear reader. The answer is NO. The story has elements of comedy, action, magic, adventure and Brutality. Like it gets really dark sometimes. There’s a comprehensive story with characters that I tried my damndest to NOT make generic on top of a cool power system that’s for the most part easy to understand. So its not trash. Q: (IFreakingHateArjuun56) -Hey author why is your first volume so slow paced and... trash?- A: (Author) -Haha. It’s how I designed the First Volume to be. It’s a fun setup that doesn’t focus on many things other than the MC’s mentality, powers and route of progression. The next volumes are normal paced, focusing on the world, the villains and general expansion but all while still retaining the book theme and fun experience- Q: (ShadeIsAPervert001) -Hey author, I instinctively sense that I’ll hate this book, when should I drop? A: (Author) -Is this the same reader?! Anyway, I’ll give a range. Read a minimum of the first 20 chapters to a max of up to chapter 44 before you decide on anything too rash. I’ll hunt down this reader! --- Discord: [ https://discord.gg/8hcraTjzE9 ]
Shade_Arjuun · 2.2M Views

The Greatest Forbidden Mage is Just A Chef

What's the most important thing in cooking? Many would say, knowledge. Another mass would say, mentality and talent. But for Jack, a professional home cook, the most important is not those pretentious answer. Modern appliance! Modern equipment! Thus, the crisis he felt when he was thrown into another world was not his life, but. "Ah! No!! How can I sous-vide without plastic and vacuum sealer?! How can I know the exact temperature of my meat?!! What should I do without my smart oven!!! I could watch Spongebob while waiting, dammit!!" What gave him hope was the existence of magic. And thus, fueled by pure commitment to re-create his smart kitchenware, Jack travel far and wide, hoarding magical knowledge, and sometimes even create his own magic. But, some of these magics are forbidden by nature. And Jack used them consistently, accidentally mastering them, and unknowingly... caused mayhem. "Wh-what are you...?" "... A cook, sir." "Ho! Are ya that mage that spook my brats, eh? Ye'r the real deal, I thought yer not. Lads! I challenge you!!" "... please stop making a ruckus, you'll scare my livestocks. And also, I refuse. I'm just a cook." "I see. You're definitely strong. Huhu, I like you. Join me. I'll give your far better treatment than other organization. I promise in the name of Snow White." "But I'm just a cook, Miss..." Words traveled far and wide, carrying the news of a certain man's impossible achievement. Tall, handsome, strong, and insanely smart in magic. Oh, and a little bit mastery in culinary. Many was envious, and wish it was them. But the subject of this rumors now developed a habit of stress eating disorder, and lack of sleep. And staring at his ceiling at three in the morning, he lament. "Why does things turns out this way...?" "MAGE OF FORBIDDEN! I CHALLENGE YOU---" "Oh, for god's sake!"
decadence_1 · 356 Views
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