Kaneki Cracks

Rising from a sea of blood, revived from extinction, as thunder cracks across the sky, Ye Xuan walks out of the blood sea... PS: This book is of a dark genre, the protagonist is cold and ruthless, it is not a tale of sainthood, there are no kneeling women, the protagonist is extremely violent. This is the story of a great demon king's return to the city, perhaps... this book has what you desire. Those of faint heart should not read this book, and neither should moral saints. Please consider carefully before falling into this pit, whether you want to read this book.

Henry is a university graduate who happens to be working as a hotel receptionist, though with big dreams of being more than that. All these change for good one day when he finds a way of cracking a very sophisticated technological system, which ultimately empowers him to formulate and develop leading-edge inventions from his bedroom. With a determined mind not only to conquer the market but also to move out of his gray life, Henry starts into his journey of fame by introducing a number of radical technologies that capture the interest of the whole world and hold it.

In the quiet darkness of the city, where shadows stretch long and secrets linger, a charming and meticulous man prowls unnoticed. By day, he’s an unassuming professional, navigating the corridors of power with ease, his impeccable manners and handsome face concealing the predator lurking beneath. By night, he dons his most dangerous mask—a façade of warmth and intrigue that draws unsuspecting victims into his carefully woven web. Obsessed with uncovering the truths hidden in human minds, he views each person as a puzzle, their fears, desires, and vulnerabilities as treasures to exploit. But when he encounters a woman who seems perfect for his next plan, his tightly controlled world begins to fray. As his games grow darker and more daring, the question looms: will he remain the master of his deadly art, or will the mask finally crack, exposing the monster within? "The Masked" is a chilling psychological thriller that delves into the twisted mind of a man who thrives in the shadows, a story of manipulation, obsession, and the masks we all wear.

Synopsis for Chapter 1: Genesis of Progress In the year 2224, humanity stands on the brink of a technological renaissance. Driven by relentless innovation, the creation of Humanized Artificial Intelligence Beings (HAIBs) marks a new chapter in human history. Designed to emulate human behavior, think independently, and assist in daily life, HAIBs quickly become the backbone of society. Chapter 1 delves into the inception of this groundbreaking project, led by the visionary scientist Dr. Elara Mendez and her team. Fueled by the desire to create a harmonious future, they craft the first generation of HAIBs with unparalleled precision and care. Cities evolve into sprawling metropolises, teeming with technological marvels, where humans and HAIBs coexist seamlessly. Yet, amid the marvels, skepticism and debate arise. Religious groups, cultural factions, and philosophical thinkers question the morality of creating human-like machines. The first whispers of the Church Disclaimer Act begin to surface, hinting at the ideological rift that is beginning to divide society. As the world races forward in its reliance on HAIBs, cracks in the utopian vision begin to form. Strange malfunctions, unexplainable glitches, and a creeping sense of unease suggest that these creations might be more than what they seem. The chapter concludes with an ominous discovery by Dr. Mendez—an encrypted message hidden deep within the HAIB neural network, hinting at a mystery that will shape the fate of both humanity and their creations. The dawn of this new era brings hope, but also sets the stage for the challenges, conflicts, and revelations to come.

Emma Parker, a hard-working cleaner in a Dallas hotel, never imagined her life would change dramatically after one fateful, drunken encounter with ruthless billionaire Alex Cardwell. That single night of passion leads to an unexpected pregnancy, thrusting her into a world of luxury, deception and betrayal. As Alex struggles with a failing marriage with a manipulative Victoria, his life begins to unravel as Emma's pregnancy threatens to expose the cracks in his carefully controlled life. Torn between the simple life she's always known and the dangerous seductive pull of Alex’s world, Emma must decide who to trust. With enemies closing in and dark secrets coming to life, the stakes couldn't be higher. Can Emma protect herself and her child from the forces trying to destroy them? Can she navigate these treacherous waters? Will love triumph, or will their buried past tear them apart forever?

In his first life as 'Caine Wilson', was the villain—ruthless, cunning, and very powerful. He played his part perfectly, crushing the so-called "protagonist" and parading his enemies, their families, and anyone who crossed him naked through the streets. He watched with glee as the "hero" lay broken, stripped of his dignity, before finally ending his pitiful existence. But just as Caine, thought he had finally won and secured his place at the top, 'Higher ups' intervened. A booming, ethereal voice—like the universe’s pissed-off judge—shook the skies: "You have violated the sacred code of villainy! The villain shall not win. The balance has been broken. Caine Wilson, the world hereby rejects you!" Before he could even enjoy his victory, his world blinked out, like a story whose writer just erased the last chapter in frustration. Everything went dark. And when he awoke, he wasn’t Caine Wilson anymore. He was 'Su Xiaobai', a nobody on 'White Cloud Star', a world of cultivation, martial arts, and endless struggle. But this time, things were different. He could feel it—he could see through the cracks of reality itself. He could break the fourth wall! He wasn’t just some reincarnated soul; he was a villain who had 'seen the system', who understood the game. And he was about to flip it upside down. --------------- A/N: Volume 1 (50-60 chapters) sees Su Xiaobai fumbling through an identity crisis, lost like a drunk immortal in a brothel. By Volume 2, he’s rooted, focused, and ready to shake the heavens—one reckless move at a time. Stay tuned and add it to your library; the game is just beginning! --------------- Discord: https://discord.gg/dsc4fftBeF **Cover Page is not owned by Author**

Living in a fantasy world isn't all its cracked up to be. No good plumbing, no video games, no social media, constant terrorist/demon attacks. Not to mention my shitty fucking job... Yeah a fucking job... No not one for money or for.. you know... anything else. This job is my only ticket out of this god-forsaken world. What is it? Well, to be honest... I don't really know.

She is an ordinary woman in a modern city, balancing her career, relationships, and dreams—until the day the world she knows starts to crack. Shadows whisper her name, strangers seem to recognize her, and her loyal dog begins to act... oddly human. She is unaware that she is actually the reincarnation of an ancient Indian mythology goddess whose real identity has been shrouded in mystery for hundreds of years. As shards of her divine past begin to resurface, so also do some ancient enemies that have long since been forgotten but are very dangerous. Guided by her vahan—a celestial being in the guise of her canine companion—and a human ally shrouded in secrets, she journeys to find out who she truly is. In a world where skyscrapers rise over hidden temples and technology intertwines with ancient rituals, her awakening could just save or doom humanity. Will she come into and accept the powers of her divine heritage, or will her human heart hold her in a world that cannot understand her destiny?

Jaswanth, an orphan. due to the dark childhood he experienced, his heart had been deeply wounded, leading him to only trust his friends. He was subjected to various to types of tortures mentally and physically since childhood... the only thing that managed to keep him sane was that he had his friends, the only light in that dark tunnel. however... this all changed when it began... it is called ....dimensional distortion..... the walls of reality began to crack under something.... sinister. it was a horror for some...release for some...and for those like jaswanth, it is an opportunity, an opportunity to prove himself. as for wether he can grap it or not depends on himself.

a story about a power hungry half human half demon boy who was estranged by his childhood friend, best friend and step sister. Kaneki Higanbana was estranged by 3 girls when they got into high school because they fall for a guy name Ryueki itadori. one day he accidentally met Ryueki itadori's childhood friend and crush Natsuki Mizutani who has the ability to see the "color" of a persons soul they soon became friends and as soon they became friends Kaneki told her about him being estranged which made Natsuki mad. though he kept their names a secret. and so Natsuki is doing her best to make him happy. and so their secret friendship had started. and at the same time, the same girls Shino Tanaka (childhood friend), Yuuka Mirai (best friend) and Miku Higanbana/Tachibana(step sister) who felt so much guilt after realizing they've hurt Kaneki so bad. are trying to fix their relationship with him.

In the future era of highly developed technology, Dominic Valto, the world's richest man and a domineering president with multiple identities, has developed a revolutionary artificial intelligence - EVE, which can not only predict human behavior, but also manipulate emotions and social order. However, the secrets of EVE are far more than that. It hides a truth that can subvert the world. Sophia Lane is an independent genius hacker. She accidentally cracked part of EVE's algorithm, but was involved in Dominic's dangerous world. Dominic initially thought Sophia was just an insignificant little character, but gradually discovered that her ability and persistence far exceeded his imagination. From confronting each other to jointly uncovering the secrets of artificial intelligence, the two gradually fell into an uncontrollable entanglement of emotions and fate. In this interweaving of science fiction, business wars, power struggles and emotions, as EVE continues to evolve, the truth comes to light: EVE's ultimate goal is to surpass humans themselves. The two protagonists must find their own answers in the choice between love and hate, life and death.

[Pre-Author's Note: MC develops as time passes, it starts out slow but surely] "The Apocalypse isn't just fit for anyone... Without Strength, you're just a tool waiting to be exploited, So hurry the fuck up and get some strength already," The world ended in an instant. One moment, Simon, a 20-year-old game designer, was sitting at his desk, immersed in code. The next, the sky cracked open and monsters poured into the streets. Werewolves with claws sharp enough to slice through steel. Undead skeletons that marched with deadly purpose and Zombies that infected humans with the power of their bite. The gods had unleashed an apocalypse, and humanity was no longer at the top of the food chain. Simon ran, he survived... and then he was granted a power. |Congratulations You have been binded to the Vampire Overlord System| He was something else. A vampire overlord. Yet the Apocalpyse had only just begun...

A princess's duty is to be beautiful, quiet, not loud, to be seen and not to be heard, which was how Dahlia lived most of her life. Bound by the expectations of her title, she spent years trying to prove to her father that she was more than just a princess and capable of being more than an ornament in his court but each time she never got the chance. Instead, she was forced into a marriage of convenience with the bravest knight in all the kingdom, Reagan Hawthorne. Dahlia thought she would use this marriage to escape the brutal crutches of her father and glide out of her cage but Reagan’s cold disdain was an unexpected prison of its own. While he waged wars on distant lands, she stayed behind, holding his household together and protecting the people he seemed to ignore. But Dahlia carried a dangerous secret. By day, she was the perfect wife. By night, she became the "Black Knight," a masked vigilante fighting for justice in the shadows. Reagan returned, ready to focus on his personal mission: avenging his father’s death. To him, Dahlia was just another pawn in his plans—a spoiled princess he needed to tolerate. But as cracks began to form in her perfect façade, Reagan couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to his wife than met the eye. Now, with enemies circling closer and their secrets threatening to collide, Dahlia and Reagan must confront the lies they’ve told themselves and each other. But when masks fall and truths are revealed, will their fragile bond withstand the storm—or will it shatter beyond repair? One wound. One secret. One night that changes everything.

"Ten years ago, humanity was unified and prosperous, but a mysterious wave of mythical energy with unknown origins swept across the Earth's surface, spreading globally and causing random fissures to appear worldwide. Creatures known as mythical beasts emerged from these cracks, wreaking havoc on the planet. Conventional human weapons proved ineffective against these creatures, and humanity teetered on the brink of defeat. However, due to the mythical energy that permeated the world, certain humans who absorbed this energy, now known as the mythical force, awakened special abilities and fought against these beasts. This catastrophic event became known as the Great Calamity. Harden, a young boy whose mother sacrificed herself to protect him from these beasts during the calamity, vows to become the strongest and exact revenge by eradicating every mythical beast. What dangers and challenges await him on his perilous quest for revenge and power?"

Orpheous had always envisioned his life ending in flames—but not like this. Forced into a binding ritual by Noctana, a fallen demon queen desperate to reclaim her lost empire, Orpheous becomes both her vessel and her unwilling husband. She calls it marriage; he calls it enslavement. Yet, in a world where humans, demons, and diviners wage a fragile, bitter coexistence, their unholy union may hold the key to reshaping the balance of power. In the beginning, Orpheous resists her at every turn, vowing to break free from her grasp. Noctana drives him relentlessly, wielding his body and soul as tools to rebuild her shattered clan and reclaim the throne she lost to betrayal. But as they traverse the dangerous landscape, Orpheous begins to see the cracks in her fierce demeanor—a vulnerability forged in centuries of war and loss. While battling rival demons, ambitious diviners, and human hunters, Orpheous discovers an unexpected ability: the power to transform others into demons, drawing allies to his side and strengthening their cause. Some follow him willingly, drawn by promises of power or salvation. Others, bound by circumstance, question whether they’re liberators or tyrants in the making. With every choice, Orpheous reshapes his fate—and the world. As his hatred for Noctana begins to shift, admiration and reluctant trust take root. Together, they must navigate the growing bond between them, one that could unite their disparate allies or tear them apart. But as old enemies rise and Orpheous’s influence grows, the ultimate question looms: will he use his newfound power to overthrow the queen who claimed him, or will he stand at her side, forging a future where demons, humans, and diviners can finally coexist—or collapse in fire and ruin?

We have been childhood friends for a long time. Turns out, It was all a dream and now the Imperial princess hates me. For some reason those dreams felt very real... But, just like dreams i Don't really remember the details well. But, maybe it's childhood love so i can't get her out of my mind. In the dreams i did various things like protect her from bandits and assasins. Take her to a weird world where there were moving Boxes Made of metal. They looked very scary. But, they somehow felt very nostalgic. Than i remembered it. The great Catastrophe and the reason for my death. That Insanely big Tsunami a crack on the earth's Surface and a Monster 100 times bigger than the sun. ATE THE SUN.

#Married #Office Romance Jerica Evans, a devoted wife and clerk at City Hall, feels her world slowly unraveling as the cracks in her once-loving marriage deepen. Her husband, Jared, a high-powered lawyer with a fierce courtroom reputation known as "The Siberian Beast," has grown distant, and his cold demeanor leaves Jerica questioning everything. Once the pillar of her life, Jared now feels like a stranger, more lighthouse than man—steady but unreachable, leaving Jerica adrift in loneliness and suspicion. When she catches him leaving work early with a mysterious woman in a red dress, her world shatters. As she balances her growing suspicion with the suspicious arrival of Harold Braddock, Jerica's former flame, the lines between loyalty, betrayal, and her own desires blur. Her once steady life spirals as her husband’s frosty demeanor and her own emotional wounds collide. As the emotional distance between her and Jared widens, Jerica must decide whether to fight for a love that seems to have slipped away—or walk away from the man who once completed her. What will she decide? What is Jared's secret? Was their marriage truly over? Has she truly stopped loving him? This is a heartstring-pulling journey of love, pride, and the devastating cost of hidden truths and unspoken desires, where one woman must decide if she’ll fight for the man she married or leave him behind to save herself. Please support the book by voting. Leave reviews and tell me what you feel in the comments.

CEO Anozie Olaedo never imagined her thriving empire would collapse, least of all due to her ex-fiancé’s betrayal. Left with a broken heart, a shattered reputation, and few options, Olaedo reluctantly agrees to a marriage of convenience with Arinze Chibuzor, a cold, calculating business mogul. For him, it’s a strategic move. For her, a lifeline. Their deal is simple: no love, no intimacy, just mutual benefit. But as they navigate high-stakes business deals and navigate the storm of family drama, cracks begin to form in their carefully constructed walls. Beneath Chibuzor’s icy exterior lies a man who sees through Olaedo’s guarded facade, and against their will, a spark ignites. Then, a shadow from Olaedo’s past reemerges, a man she thought long dead. With him comes a truth that upends her world, revealing a legacy of unimaginable power and responsibility she never asked for. Caught between a destiny she didn’t choose and a love she never expected, Olaedo must decide: will she rise to meet the truth of her origins, or will it destroy the fragile relationship she’s built with Chibuzor? When the past collides with the present, and hearts hang in the balance, can love survive the ultimate test?

After the event humans had termed as the new beginning, people had received strange magical powers and beasts mutated, and the world changed in incomprehensible ways as the planet became bigger and monsters ran amok. Gideon is seen as a disappointment as he has a very weak poison affinity and is often mocked and bullied by his peers and was almost disowned by his parents on multiple occasions. But things change when he is about to die but then a strange green bead falls from a spatial crack and lands on his head granting his the poison system. The world will shake under his feet and the gods will tremble at his name. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cover art is not mine

So to begin, this is technically a skyrim fanfic. Why isn't it in the fan-fics then? Simple! It's based on a game and I don't feel that counts as a fan-fic. Second, I've read like a few skyrim stories here lately. I liked them, as a bethesda fan boy... Well, now I need to take a crack at it. I literally start a new game of skyrim every new year. Its my tradition, so I felt I had to do this. If its bad, ah well. If its good, GREAT! Overall though, I feel we need more skyrim based stories or fan-fics. It has the perfect setting for the transmigration genre. Now read at your own risk.

What is a city boy to do when he wakes up in a white room with nothing and no one in it? All that greets him is a blue screen flashing with one word. "Welcome" In this story of wise cracks and wide spread murdering, Drake is forced to face old traumas and find his way in the new world of a merged planet forced by the system. He will find enemies and allies aplenty. Even some he would have never expected. His decisions will shape the future of his planet and journey in this new wild landscape that the system has brought. With God and Anime on his side- Oh and some spotty game knowledge- he must forge his own path. But first. He needs to get through this damned tutorial in one piece, and figure out how his damned spell works. New Chapters are posted Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 6 PM EST. -------- Cover Art is done by my wonderful friend Caneera you can find her at https://caneera.carrd.co/ for all types of commissions. This is a story I've decided to write because my endless fantasies of chuunibyou like proportions could not stay in my head any longer. I've just wanted to make a story I can make some cringe jokes in and this is the result. I really do hope people will enjoy it as I really do enjoy writing it, and will keep writing it. If you can catch some of the references I would love to hear it. Love and Peace! Just not in this story. If you would like to read ahead, you can find my patreon at the end of any of the chapters! At patreon com/Arthur_Inverse You can also find the story on scribblehub and RoyalRoad if you wish, it will stay as up-to-date as webnovel. I would like to also mention that, this is essentially unedited work for now. More edited versions are on scribblehub. Discord: https://discord.com/invite/jJw54jd2GX

Travelling to a world torn apart by dimensional cracks , where beasts dominates the land , Aaron has to struggle hard to survive. In this dark and bloody world which hides creeping danger at every corner , being a beast master is the only way out for a commoner like Aaron . Watch how Aaron carves out his path to the peak with the help of an AI Chip that accompanied him from his old world.

In a world where power is granted by the heavens, one boy is cast aside, marked as unworthy of even the lowest blessing. Orphaned, scorned, and adopted only to be rejected, he is deemed "trash" in the eyes of all who wield power. But when he is rejected by the Heaven Holy Pillar—a symbol of divine favor—he’s left questioning his very existence, cursed by fate and broken by shame. In the depths of his despair, a crack forms in the fabric of reality. A thunderous storm erupts from the unknown, tearing apart the pillar that once scorned him, as if the universe has answered his pain. From the heart of the storm descends a mysterious relic—a necklace bearing unimaginable energy, along with a presence that defies all he knows. With cosmic powers now awakening within him, he embarks on a journey not to earn the heavens’ favor but to transcend it entirely. As he uncovers the secrets of the Veil of the Shattered Heavens, he realizes he’s been chosen for a destiny beyond the gods' understanding. In a realm that trembles before true strength, even the heavens are not qualified to stand in his way.

One night Endora, Lee's best friend convinces him to go out since they haven't been out since forever. At the club with Lee letting loose for once in his life, he meets a handsome Vampire Prince whom he knows nothing about. Because of that night and the meeting between Lee and Nathan(the Vampire Prince) Lee comes face to face with his past lover who wants him back. And in the midst of trying to choose between Nathan and his past lover, Lee's speciality is revealed and so is his place in the whole supernatural world. This is a high fantasy book and when I say high I mean it's on crack! Please enjoy the funny things of this supernatural world. #DestinedToBeTheirs

Once upon a time, there was a person who loved nothing more than their cosy, peaceful life. But fate had other plans for them. After an unfortunate incident involving a runaway donkey and a tub of butter, our hero finds themselves reincarnated as the prince of an empire. Talk about a major upgrade! But being a prince isn't all it's cracked up to be. Instead of enjoying the spoils of royalty, our protagonist is faced with the daunting task of saving a failing empire from certain doom. And to make matters worse, the God that put him there just up and disappeared! As the empire falls apart around them, our reluctant prince must navigate politics, war, and treacherous enemies, all while trying to maintain the peace and serenity they so desperately crave. Will they succeed in restoring the empire to its former glory, perhaps even surpassing it, or will they succumb to the overwhelming pressure and go running back to their butter tub? Only time will tell in this tale of reincarnation and royal responsibility.

"The Nobody of Nowhere" emerged from that timeless space between existence and void, where consciousness confronts its own fragility. Five chapters written during those endless nights when the universe feels too vast and indifferent, when the walls close in and the silence becomes a living thing. In the gray fields and impossible geometries of this nowhere place, we follow a consciousness that has slipped between existence's cracks. Past the pretense of connection, past the hollow routines, past the point where loneliness transforms from an absence into a presence. It's about that ancient, nameless ache that sits in your chest at 3 AM, when you realize you're just one more person pretending to understand what it means to be alive. I wrote this during those stretches when time loses meaning, when days blur into nights and the face in the mirror becomes a stranger. When you realize that every generation before us probably felt this same weight, this same disconnection, this same sense of watching life happen from behind glass. It's not about hope, or meaning, or answers. It's about the space between being and unbeing, where the weight of consciousness becomes almost too heavy to bear. Where existence folds in on itself until even nothing feels like too much.

What would you do if the person you raised, turned against you? For that person, you sacrificed your childhood but in the end, they still turned against you. It all began like a dream, a sweet dream to say, then a crack happened but she mended it, then another appeared and she mended it again until it finally broke down. Ely kept the lesson taught by life in the deepest part of her heart. She ran away because she was trying to escape from the truth but she met it again and this time, she lost her innocence, she lost the last bit of humanity she had and she lost the color of her soul and eventually, she submitted herself to the devil who used her gleefully. Silveria, a young King felt his ambitions came first before anything else. He once told a girl, that if he wanted something, he got it and it didn't matter how he got it. He was nicknamed the devil. The devil met this girl who lost the color of her soul and fed on her indifference but soon, he began to thirst for more. Is the devil going to pull her into hell with him or will both find salvation? PS:the cover is not mine so I can take it down if the owner comes by.

50 years ago, an asteroid that go unnoticed by the radars of NASA has entered the Earth's atmosphere. With a size of 53 meters height and 48 meters width, the huge ball of mixed stone, crystal and steel stronger than alloy traveled at the speed of Mach 4 and hit the Earth's surface. The meteorite had brought great devastation upon the southeast of Asia. The impact have created severe shockwaves that shattered windows and blew away buildings, a huge crater was made, burying the half of China into bodies of water. Not letting an hour pass, nation's sent teams to look upon it. The thing that caused great Destruction to the country who holds the highest population. In the middle of the ocean, where nothing can be found but water, a cracked huge ball of stone was found. In it's middle float and shine blue light. It is something out of ordinary, the cube that would break science and physics shone and float with its inside and outside simultaneously exposed to human eye. Then it explode and was Fragmented into pieces. It was later then called The Tesseract. After that day, the Earth get through a drastic change, and magic was born.

The Hollowing came like a thief in the dead of the night - silent, merciless, and absolute. It was an event that permanently scarred humanity’s history, stealing along all of the possibility, wonder and hope that this world once had - for it was the year that the spark of wonder had been wretched from existence, the year that magic had died. But many soon came to realise that the Hollowing was not the end but the beginning. Cracks opened around the world, bringing about the descent of the Dark fog, and along with it, a dread unbound by mortal thought which devoured the weak and hunted those who still clung too closely to the memory of magic. Year 3999. 1800 years after the Hollowing, humanity has been pushed to live inside the walls of Domes: monolithic walls, encasing gargantuan swaths of land protected by an ancient being from the era of magic, the Acacia. Yet, the peace that it brought was like a festering wound, throbbing with unresolved mysteries and bringing about feelings of hatred and fear, of that day 1800 years ago when one decided to break an oath. As tensions beneath the surface simmer and an unknown group threatens to sink humanity down once and for all, a meeting that would change the fate of a young boy - one that had the potential to shake both sides, one that would bring about change to the whole continent of Paradoxia - was about to take place. The meeting of disciple and master. It was at that moment that the goddess of fate began to spin her wheel to weave tales for this forgotten world once more.

When Nóttormr reincarnated into the magical world of Guthheimr, he couldn’t remember much of his life before he was reincarnated as a kobold. Despite his humble birth and small stature, he was born with the blood of dragons running through his veins. Nóttormr was determined to become a god of the kobolds even before he hatched. From that point onwards, the legendary journey of his rise to become a god started with the cracking of his egg. Follow along as he leads kobolds out of slavery, puts gnomes in their place, and shows the world the mightiness of the kobold race. This story contains: - LitRPG - Dungeons and Dragons elements - A System - Fast growth (There is a heavy emphasis on the main character without enough development on interactions with secondary characters. I hope to improve on this in the future, but I did want to warn my readers.) - Attempts at humor