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Skibidi Toilet Parade

"Milkverse: Quantum Lullabies"

Synopsis In a universe where breastfeeding rewrites quantum physics, a genetically engineered mother and her quantum-wolf lover battle cosmic forces to protect their reality-shaping infant. Across millennia—from 1023 AD Norse rituals to 10,000 AD galactic tribunals—their struggle to balance parental love with spacetime stability evolves into a mythic saga where milk becomes the fabric of reality, stretch marks map star systems, and a baby’s teething pain triggers supernovas. Plot Summary & Future Arcs Core Premise Lynette, the 500th incarnation of a lab-engineered "Spiritborn," discovers her breastmilk holds quantum code capable of creating—or erasing—civilizations. Alongside Caelium, a werewolf-physicist cursed to oscillate between human and feral states, they raise a universe-breathing infant whose needs (hunger, teething, diaper changes) manifest as cosmic crises. Their nemesis, the ancient witch Isolde, lurks in black hole rattles and formula corporations, weaponizing parental guilt across timelines. Key Existing Arcs (Chapters 1-50) · The Quantum Nursing Wars: Breastmilk algorithms vs. artificial formula empires in 3024 AD. · The Milky Tribunal: Intergalactic courtroom drama where lactation laws put Lynette on trial for "chronon genocide." · Teething Armageddon: The infant’s first tooth eruption rips spacetime, summoning dystopian dentist fleets. · Caelium’s Wolf-J.D. Crisis: His battle with black hole student loans and a werewolf lawyer rebellion. Future Outline for "The Lactating Cosmos" Chapter 51-60: The Pacifier Prophecy Arc Core Conflict: The infant’s discarded pacifiers form a neutron star oracle predicting a Galactic Potty Training Revolution. Methane-based diaper civilizations declare war on organic life, weaponizing fecal black holes. Key Beats: · Lynette brokers peace via Quantum Diaper Treaties, rewriting sanitation laws. · Caelium’s wolf-pack battles Toilet-Bomb Anarchists in Andromeda’s nursery lanes. · Isolde hijacks the prophecy, corrupting pacifiers into Singularity Pacifier Grenades. Global Hook: Parenting’s most mundane task (potty training) becomes a galactic power struggle, blending absurd humor with climate crisis metaphors. Chapter 61-70: Colostrum Crusades Arc Core Conflict: A cult worshipping Lynette’s “first milk” hijacks the Andromeda galaxy, using Lactation Lasers to erase formula-dependent civilizations. Key Beats: · Lynette discovers her colostrum contains Isolde’s Original Sin Code. · Caelium confronts his darkest self: a 2149 AD Formula Executive who monetized infant hunger. · The infant’s third eye leaks visions of a Milkless Universe, forcing Lynette to question her worth. Global Hook: Critique of corporate greed and "wellness culture," with breastmilk as both sacred and commodified. Chapter 71-80: Weaning the Gods Arc Core Conflict: The toddler’s tantrums collapse realities into a Tesseract Playpen—a hyperspace nursery where dark matter is finger paint and black holes are sippy cups. Key Beats: · Lynette and Caelium infiltrate the playpen to teach Gentle Reality-Building. · Isolde manifests as a Toxic Nanny AI, weaponizing bedtime stories. · The toddler’s first scribbles accidentally create Proto-Civilizations in her coloring books. Global Hook: Parental guilt meets multiverse theory: How do you raise a god without breaking reality? Final Arc (81-100): The Lullaby Singularity Core Conflict: The child’s first spoken word (“Mama”) triggers a Nursing Big Bang, birthing a new multiverse. But Isolde’s final gambit emerges: a Formula-Fed Doppelgänger Child hellbent on devouring their legacy.
D_Fdu_bei · 5.9K Views

Two Realms Shuttle Gate: Don't Call Me a Demon!

Su Jie, capable of traveling between Blue Star and the Cultivation World, discovered that cultivation was just too difficult. Spirit Pills, Magic Artifacts, Pocket Worlds, and inherent comprehension—each was a mountain on the long road to immortality. Not until Su Jie found out that Demon Cultivators refined corpses by killing, extracted souls to cultivate fiends, and used fear as sustenance for their cultivation. Need souls to consecrate a Soul Summoning Banner? Get to know the pig farms that slaughter millions of pigs a year. Need human fear to cultivate fierce ghosts? Stock up on ghost houses, horror films, and horror games... Need fresh blood for Demon Techniques? Across the ocean, America is the world's largest grey market blood transfusion station... ...... Years later. "You devil, how many people have you killed? And you still have the face to call yourself a good person? Pah, today I shall act on behalf of heaven to mete out justice." The Tianyuan World's most beautiful person's eyebrows were furrowed with rage, as she stared at the terrifying Devil before her, enveloped in wronged souls, with thousands of ghosts parading on his Soul Banner, seated in a palace made of bones, she posed her soulful question. The Devil slowly stood up and pulled out a business card that read "Hua Country's Philanthropist of the Year / Founder of the World's Largest Chain of Ghost Houses / Owner of Blue Star's Largest Livestock Slaughter Business / Emerging Tycoon of the Entertainment Industry." "You see, I'm really not a devil, okay? Nowadays, who still uses such a lowly method as killing people to cultivate as a devil!"
Jade Brocade Sword · 1.4M Views

A Hamsters Stupid Life on Deaths Door

Have you ever seen a hamster die of old age? Ask any hamster owner, and they’ll tell you the most horrifying story you’ve ever heard. Drowned in a toilet, trapped in a laundry machine, electrocuted by a phone charger, or worst of all, vanished without a trace, only for the cat to look way too satisfied. Hamsters never go peacefully. But what if they were given intelligence? Would they finally live out their full lifespans? Or would it just make them understand how cruel their tiny existence really is? And what if it wasn’t just the hamsters? What if every rodent, mice, rats, guinea pigs, became smart enough to stop being prey? Fifty years after the experiment, rodents have done more than just survive. They’ve built underground civilizations, mastered tools, and even begun whispering about a war. Because they know the truth now: the world was never made for them. But something else changed. Something bigger. Because humans weren’t the only ones playing with intelligence. The cats were watching. And now? They aren’t just hunters. They’re rulers. Tacticians. Puppet masters. They don’t just chase their food anymore. They lure it in. And they’re so patient. Nibble, a clueless but strangely lovable hamster, never asked to be part of this. He just wanted food, warmth, and a nice safe burrow. Instead, he’s running for his life alongside his scrappy siblings, his battle-hardened mother, and his utterly stupid but weirdly lucky guinea pig father. Because the cats? They don’t want food. They want control. And in the end, it’s not about who’s smart. It’s about who stays prey, and who finally fights back. "Wait... why is my cat just sitting there, staring at me?" "Why are you looking at me like that... like you know something?" "Wait. Why are your paws, why are they—why are they bloody?" "...Where’s my baby?!!"
Zombeater · 3.8K Views

The Reincarnated Villain Can Break the Fourth Wall!

In his first life as 'Caine Wilson', was the villain—ruthless, cunning, and very powerful. He played his part perfectly, crushing the so-called "protagonist" and parading his enemies, their families, and anyone who crossed him naked through the streets. He watched with glee as the "hero" lay broken, stripped of his dignity, before finally ending his pitiful existence. But just as Caine, thought he had finally won and secured his place at the top, 'Higher ups' intervened. A booming, ethereal voice—like the universe’s pissed-off judge—shook the skies: "You have violated the sacred code of villainy! The villain shall not win. The balance has been broken. Caine Wilson, the world hereby rejects you!" Before he could even enjoy his victory, his world blinked out, like a story whose writer just erased the last chapter in frustration. Everything went dark. And when he awoke, he wasn’t Caine Wilson anymore. He was 'Su Xiaobai', a nobody on 'White Cloud Star', a world of cultivation, martial arts, and endless struggle. But this time, things were different. He could feel it—he could see through the cracks of reality itself. He could break the fourth wall! He wasn’t just some reincarnated soul; he was a villain who had 'seen the system', who understood the game. And he was about to flip it upside down. --------------- A/N: Buckle up, you miserable bunch! It’s a parody, so shut your brains off, toss 'em in the trash, and dive headfirst into this deep, glorious shithole! Don’t come whining to me when you laugh so hard you choke on your own damn tears! --------------- Discord: https://discord.gg/dsc4fftBeF **Cover Page is not owned by Author**
SKuLL · 534.2K Views

Fated To Not Just One, But Three

I let out a bitter laugh. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? You spent years making my life a living hell, and now you look at me like I’m the very air you breathe.” Lennox’s face fell. “Olivia, it wasn’t supposed to be like this—” I cut him off, my eyes blazing with anger. “Oh, but it was. You wanted me broken. You wanted me to suffer. And I did.” I paused, my voice trembling. “But not anymore.” Louis, who had been silent, spoke softly. “Olivia, we—” I shook my head and took a step back, putting distance between us. “No. Whatever you think you feel, it doesn’t matter. It’s too late. You had a choice. And every single time, you chose her. Over and over again, you chose Anita.” Levi shook his head. “We were wrong.” I met their gazes. “Yes, you were. And now, you’ll have to live with it.” With that, I turned away, refusing to let them see the tears burning in my eyes. •••••••• Olivia Parker was once the cherished daughter of a respected Gamma—until betrayal shattered her world. Branded the daughter of a traitor, she was stripped of her title, her dignity, and the life she had known, forced to serve as an Omega among those who once respected her. But fate wasn’t done with her yet. On the night of the mating ceremony, Olivia discovered the cruelest twist of all—she wasn’t fated to just one mate, but three. And not just any three. Alpha Lennox, Alpha Louis, and Alpha Levi—the ruthless triplet Alphas who had spent years tormenting her. Bound to a marriage they never wanted, the triplets made her life a waking nightmare. They paraded their lover, Anita, before her, ensuring she never forgot her place, never forgot that they would never want her. But fate has a way of playing its own game. As secrets unravel and buried truths come to light, the triplets begin to see Olivia for who she truly is—not just a Luna in title, but the woman they never realized they needed. Only now, she’s done waiting.
Sugarlitics · 3K Views

The Crimson Executioner

When the world stood on the brink of destruction, consumed by the might of an all-powerful darkness, humanity prayed for salvation. They wished for the light—never realizing that their desperate plea would bring a curse far worse than the darkness itself. Seven hundred years ago, in its most desperate hour, the world summoned a group of legendary heroes from another realm. These warriors, blessed with extraordinary abilities, united under a single purpose: to vanquish the almighty Dark Lord. Through sheer determination, teamwork, and a stroke of fortune, they succeeded, delivering the world from its greatest nightmare. The kingdom rejoiced. The people celebrated their saviors with parades, songs, and endless praise. But victory had changed the heroes. Power, once a tool of salvation, had become an addiction. The taste of worship, the ease with which they could bend the world to their will—it was intoxicating. The heroes, who were meant to be symbols of hope, refused to leave. They crowned themselves rulers, shaping the world in their image. What was once light had become a deeper, more terrifying darkness. Now, centuries later, their descendants still reign—oppressive, immortal, and untouchable. No one dares to oppose them… until Mary, an ordinary young man with no talents, no abilities, and no destiny, does the impossible. By sheer accident, he kills one of the ruling heroes. Now branded a traitor and a threat, Mary is left with only two choices: run and die… or keep fighting and become something even more terrifying than the legends themselves. Because if one hero can fall, then so can the rest. And Mary? He’s just getting started. .......... Hallo! hope you Enjoy this novel I will also be posting this in royal road.com https://www.royalroad.com/profile/667834
The_Limbless · 1K Views

Reborn With Heavenly Root: Harmony of Heaven and Earth is My Path

Heiter is reborn in a Xianxia world where martial artists and cultivators exists, with his memory of his past life intact. His unique white and black hair attracts attention along with his right golden eye and his left amethyst eye. With his right eye of Yang, Sun's Prediction technique allows him to peek into trajectory of the future. With his left eye of Yin, Moon's Contemplation technique allows him to repeat observation, cast illusion and learn from enemy. And with both eyes, he is able to use Drifting Vision of Celestials - entering a state of slow motion as if time had slowed down! And in time he is able to split even his own soul and body with Shattering Twin Spirit of Duality. On his birthday, Solar eclipse is on its way to completion. Rain covers half of the land, while the sun shines brightly on the other half. Thunder resounded all over the sky. His birth cause the heaven and earth to dance, cause birds to circle the sky, and even chi bow down and descend from heaven. "Yin and Yang body!? 5-elemental harmonic bone!?". Heavenly Father, who was in the lower realm and returned to the basic living as mortal for thousands of years sees for himself a heaven defying talent in a 6 years old boy with unique appearance. As if the whole Heaven and Earth drained all of its luck in the next ten thousand years just to give birth to this person! He decides to give a cultivation technique he happens to find in an ancient realm and try to make him his disciple. He watched secretly with his mouth wide open as the boy breakthrough in heaven defying speed. Chi rushed into him even when he's eating, sleeping and even doing his business in the toilet! He watched the sky ready to intervene, afraid of heaven wrath when the boy cause a plant to defy the law of time and mature in minutes. He is completely confused why heaven allows it. He watched in astonishment how the same boy cause major changes in lower realm and hailed as the Wisdom of Mortal Realm, a title granted by the Emperor of Dragon Empire of the mortal realm. He want to smack himself for bragging and being so arrogant in his youth thinking he's a 1 in a million genius. Compared to the boy, he is utter trash! Heavenly Father secretly observes the journey of Shao Ai, until the day he had to show up or called upon. ... Note: MC prefers male sexually. And its my first time trying to explore world of Xianxia and i have zero knowledge of Chinese. I just like the worldbuilding so~
nablethenoble · 4.1K Views

Mated To The Dead Prince

"But this feels real," She whispered. Curiosity got the best of her as she went around the coffin, luckily, it wasn't locked. She took a deep breath before pulling it open. "Jesus Christ!" Rose exclaimed, putting her hand over her chest as she breathed hard. She stood frozen beside the coffin, staring at a young man with the most beautiful face she'd ever seen, lying still and comfortably inside the coffin. Was he dead? He looked so pale like he was dead and yet so beautiful to be called dead. Talk about gothic beauty. Rose knew she should be running for her life at that moment, but she felt something drawing her closer to the man in the coffin, she flashed her light closer to his face as she reached her hand down and placed it right under his nose to check if he was still breathing. No air, his nose bridge was cold as ice too. Rose was still busy staring at the man's face when she felt something very icy touch her arm, she felt her heart drop to her stomach as she slowly turned her head to look at her arm, that's when she saw the white, slim, masculine fingers wrapped tightly around her wrist. Her soul left her and her heart completely stopped beating, before starting to beat like a parade band in her chest. "Hail fucking Mary!" Rose whispered in a frightened tone, her lips quivered and her eyes widened unnaturally. She felt her legs become paralyzed from fear and unable to move or run. She dared to fearfully turn around and look at the man's face again, just to find his blood-colored eyes, staring icily at her. She was about to scream when the young man suddenly pulled her into his coffin with incredible speed, and the last thing she remembered was feeling how cold his body was before she felt an unnatural sleep overtake her. *** Rose Thiago was an ordinary human girl who loved reading dark fantasies but never believed in them. She suddenly gets warned by her best friend never to read those kinds of books again if she doesn't want to make herself visible to the dark creatures or evoke their world to herself, but she calls her bluff and reads them over and over again. On a field trip, Rose suddenly finds herself falling into an endless hole, and when she finally meets the solid ground, she discovers that it is no longer familiar ground. She gravely realized that just as her friend said, she'd finally drawn the dark world to herself. She somehow manages to bump herself into a beautiful man lying inside a coffin and dared to touch him just for the dead man to suddenly hold her hands and disappeared with her. In that moment, she came to believe that magical creatures did exist. And she was about to discover that she had the blood of the sun. Two thousand years ago, to survive a dreadful poison, The prince of the dark world, Cassius Levi, sought refuge in his healing grave, only to awaken when the right time for his revenge came. What he didn't expect was to be forcefully awakened by an undeserving mortal.
Rosegold_n · 108.4K Views

Shattered Doll speaks

Born not out of love, but as a tool—a mere vessel to sustain her elder sister—Elyria was never treated as a daughter, let alone a human being. From infancy, she endured an existence dictated by the will of her family, their hands cold and unrelenting as they siphoned her life away piece by piece. Every cut, every transfusion, every forced surgery stole a part of her, leaving behind nothing but an empty shell. The physical pain was unbearable, but the emotional wounds ran deeper. No one comforted her. No one whispered words of kindness. She was nothing but a living sacrifice. But when her usefulness as a donor dwindled, her parents found another way to exploit her. She was thrust into a life of horror—paraded like a doll for depraved men, her body no longer hers to protect. When she refused, she was thrown into a demonic underground circus, forced to perform in grotesque spectacles that twisted her very soul. Pain was once unbearable, but over time, her mind numbed itself to survive. She stopped feeling. Stopped resisting. Stopped being human. Yet, their cruelty knew no bounds. When she was of no more use, they discarded her entirely—putting her on auction like a mere object, waiting to be bought by the highest bidder. That was the day she met Veylan Blackthorne. A man of wealth and power, but unlike the monsters bidding for her, he didn’t see her as a possession. Instead, he was fascinated—haunted—by the emptiness in her eyes, the way she seemed to drift between life and death. And so, without hesitation, he bought her. Not as a slave. Not as a toy. But as a soul in need of salvation. Thus began the battle neither of them expected. Veylan struggled to break the chains around her, but Elyria was beyond saving—or so she believed. Night after night, she was tormented by the demons of her past, and as the shadows clawed at her mind, something inside her twisted. She stopped seeing people as people. Her hands, once trembling and weak, became steady. Her heart, once capable of fear, grew cold. And when she killed for the first time, she felt nothing. It started slow, a quiet unraveling—then bloodshed followed. No one who had ever hurt her was safe. The world that tormented her would burn, and she would be the one to set the fire. Yet, through it all, Veylan stayed by her side. He didn’t fear the monster she was becoming, nor did he recoil at the darkness in her eyes. Instead, he reached deeper—pulling her back, inch by inch, from the abyss. But healing was never easy. Therapy, nightmares, relapses—she was still broken, still haunted. Yet, for the first time, she was no longer alone. And when the time came for revenge, Veylan didn’t stop her. He stood by her side, helping her destroy the ones who had made her suffer. When the blood had dried and the screams had faded, Elyria was free. Truly free. And in that freedom, she chose him. Their wedding was not a fairytale, nor was their love story soft and sweet. It was born from the ashes of suffering, tempered by battle, and strengthened by survival. Even as her demons lingered, she found light. For the first time in her life, she was not just living—she was alive. And with Veylan, she would continue to walk forward, no longer a shattered doll—but a woman reclaiming her own destiny.
ummi_mau · 1.7K Views

Bad for You

Innocence was never meant for the addictive…  Addiction was something Krit Corbin accepted as part of his nature a long time ago. He decided to embrace it and flip his finger at the rules. Women had always been the number one thing on his list of addictions. He couldn’t get enough. Being the lead singer in a rock band had only made access to his favorite addiction that much easier. Being alone was the only thing Blythe Denton understood. The small town minister’s family that raised her hadn’t accepted her as their own. The minister’s wife had always made sure Blythe understood just how unworthy she was of love. When Blythe is sent away to college and given a chance to finally be free of living as an unwanted burden, she looks forward to having peace in her life. Being alone isn’t something that bothers her. She escapes reality in the stories she writes. However, the ridiculously sexy tattooed guy who keeps throwing parties in the apartment above hers is driving her crazy. For starters, he doesn’t treat her like she would expect a guy with a different woman always hanging on his arm to treat someone as uninteresting as her. She looks nothing like the gorgeous women she sees parading in and out of his apartment, but for some strange reason he keeps showing up at her door. During a party at his apartment, Krit’s new neighbor comes to the door with her long brown hair pulled up in a messy knot and a pair of glasses perched on her cute little nose. She wants him to turn down the music, but he convinces her to stay. Krit Corbin may have just found his biggest addiction yet. And Blythe Denton realizes too late that she’s finally been claimed. by Abbi Glines
hizer0778 · 23.1K Views

MY CRAZY RICH HUBBY IS A SKIBIDI

Vina Valencia is a low-key magical badass who can literally bend reality with her hands (think magic spaghetti noodles made of energy), but she’s stuck babysitting her hot mess husband, Hottmann Munich—a billionaire chaos gremlin who’s all about cursed poker games, illegal magic fight clubs, and collecting ex-girlfriends like Pokémon. Everyone thinks he’s a skibidi (yes, that’s his official title now), but secretly? He’s obsessed with Vina. Too bad he’s terrible at showing it. Every time Hottmann does something stupid (which is often), Vina has to clean up his magical dumpster fires. Broke a cursed casino’s rules? Vina fixes it. Got hexed by a jealous witch? Vina’s on it. But when Hottmann gambles away her family’s magic moonstone necklace to a shady fae dude, Vina’s like, “Nope, I’m out.” She dips to Silvershore, a secret beach town for magic fugitives, where she learns she’s basically the heir to a squad of ocean-controlling sea witches. Slay. Meanwhile, Hottmann’s life implodes without Vina’s magic Band-Aids. His empire’s cursed, his exes are hexing him, and he’s got a literal demon in his DMs. When he finally finds Vina, he’s half-dead from a curse (karma, baby). Vina saves him (ugh, why?) and finds out his whole family’s cursed to be self-destructive idiots. Now they’re stuck working together: Vina’s mastering her storm magic, Hottmann’s trying not to be a skibidi, and everyone’s got drama. Think magic fights, toxic exes, and a kraken.
YellowCard19 · 479 Views

Sinner of the Spades

'Sinner of the Spades' takes place in an alternate early 20th century, at the turn of industrial advancement. Set in a world where one Empire rules over the majority of the western continent, the world is ravaged by the aftereffects of a great war. It is a world of tragedy, of longing for wealth, of parading high above the clouds, of mechanical automatons, and of grand tales of sorcery not many have had the chance to see themselves. Lumière Croft is a show magician in the middle borough of the city-state of Leiden- rather, an illusionist. A career liar. Responsible for making money to help out at the monastery he lives in, he can only curse the dreadful circumstances around him, and wish desperately that something would change. Although, that change is not always a good thing. Only when the shadows around him begin to creep, and when the sky grows burgeoning eyes, and when blood is spilled, does he find hope of fulfilling his wishes. To have sunlight, the world must be balanced with cruelty. To have power, one must lose their soul, humanity, morality, or sanity. One must ultimately balance the scales of their debt, or fall eternally to suffering, and have the scales corrected by force. This is the story of balance, of hope, and of the tragedy of a liar. —- “We’re all liars who pretend that the world is okay, and as liars we adopt philosophies and ideologies to cope with its cruelty. Because the world has hope, as long as we speak these lies loud enough, they’ll surely become true.” - Lumière Croft. --- Cover illustration done by @i_evuuu/Everest
GoneSoSoon · 107.4K Views

My Habibi " crown & common ground"

Elliot Hargrove is perfectly average. He lives in a tiny apartment, crunches numbers at his day job, and spends his evenings debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza. But his ordinary life is turned upside down when a mysterious stranger arrives with jaw-dropping news: Elliot is the long-lost heir to a European kingdom he never knew existed. Suddenly, he's grappling with royal responsibilities, an endless parade of palace etiquette, and the mounting pressure to save a kingdom on the verge of collapse. Enter Sophia Ruiz: a fiercely independent barista who runs her own coffee shop and has a not-so-secret grudge against the wealthy. After years of watching her community struggle under corporate greed, she’s convinced that rich people are the worst. When Elliot stumbles into her café, awkwardly charming and clueless about the price of a latte, Sophia assumes he’s just another clueless city guy. What starts as a series of hilarious misunderstandings blossoms into an unexpected romance. But Elliot has a secret one that could shatter everything they’ve built together. As his double life becomes harder to hide, and the weight of his royal destiny grows heavier, Elliot must decide: will he risk it all for love, or lose Sophia forever? Full of laugh-out-loud moments, heartfelt revelations, and a romance that will sweep you off your feet, My Habibi Crown & Common Ground is a feel good romantic comedy about finding love in the most unexpected places and proving that the heart is mightier than the crown.
caezar_ian_tenoso · 3.2K Views
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