German Joke

A one shot that turned into a story. Luka Zoric receives the abilities of some of the best Brazilian players to ever play the beautiful game. Struggling in the Manchester United U16 teams he wows with his newfound abilities and lands himself a move to the German club Dortmund.

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

Many people wish to escape this boring life, or rather, everyone does. I was no different. But back then, I hadn’t been summoned to another world. It didn’t take long for us to realize that this place was a true hell. Covered in blood, Avinash screamed, “One day, I’ll have them all beneath my feet!” Hero? What a joke.

When an overweight 13-year-old Marco is mocked for wanting to play football, he doesn't just shed tears – he sheds weight, doubts, and limitations. Under the guidance of a professional fitness coach, he transforms from the kid no one wanted on their team to the midfielder everyone wants to sign. His remarkable journey from school outcast to international football star proves that sometimes, rejection is just the first step toward greatness. Through second-tier English football, Spanish loans, and German championships, Marco's story isn't just about scoring goals – it's about a boy who turned his biggest insecurity into his greatest strength.

[Ding !! Euro Breather System Unlocked]  [One breath = 1 euro]  [Level 1 : Please use  100,000 Euros to level up] As Jack made his way back to his small apartment from his part-time work, he couldn't help but be amazed by a panel that materialized before his eyes. Despite his best efforts to dismiss the idea of such imaginary thing, his thrifty side begged him to believe in it. Coming from Australia after obtaining a scholarship to attend a highly esteemed German high school. All he had was a life without parents. He may expect his life to undergo a radical transformation now that he got a cheat system. Join my discord : https://discord.gg/aDAUyXxqEd Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. All characters, events, and organizations are imaginary and any resemblance to real persons or events is purely coincidental. The narrative is intended for entertainment purposes only and does not reflect real-life occurrences or perspectives.

Suddenly transported to ancient times, struggling to even get enough to eat? What’s this? Men are dwindling due to war, and the government assigns me a beautiful wife with orders to have a child by next year? And now, foreign invaders are threatening the heartland? No problem! Mastering math, physics, and chemistry means I can thrive anywhere! The unstoppable cavalry of the steppes? The indestructible warships of the pirates? A joke! With knowledge as my weapon, I’ll turn the tide and reshape history!

He was an unparalleled alchemy genius. however, because he couldn't cultivate martial arts, he was betrayed and killed by the woman he loved the most. He was then reborn in the body of a bullied good-for-nothing young man. A good-for-nothing? A genius? What a joke! No one in this realm understood cultivating geniuses better than Yang Chen! Martial arts? Alchemy? What's so difficult about Dual cultivation?! He embarked on the demonic path, rising against all odds! With his exceptional talent, he forged a divine body, sweeping away all injustices! With his brilliant alchemy, he shocked all realms!

He was as ravishingly handsome as he was ruthlessly cruel, stopping at nothing to make her his. She, burdened with her family's enormous debt, found herself pleasing him against her will in an attempt to repay the sizable debt. Just when she thought that the demon had transformed into a good man, when their feelings were running high, She discovered that their so-called love was nothing but a joke, a sham played out entirely for show. So she left the man who had marked her with scars, only to return five years later with their child. How will they face the once-loved, once-hated past? And how will he try to win back her sincere heart?

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e

What happens when an ordinary guy finds himself in the most extraordinary position? Meet Jake, a laid-back underachiever who suddenly wakes up in the body of the President of a quirky, chaotic nation! With a cabinet full of oddball advisors, a nation on the brink of hilarity, and a series of outrageous events spiraling out of control, Jake must navigate the treacherous waters of politics, diplomacy, and, of course, the constant barrage of memes. Armed with nothing but his offbeat sense of humor and a knack for bizarre solutions, Jake dives headfirst into a whirlwind of diplomatic disasters, celebrity antics, and mind-boggling conspiracies. As he tries to juggle international crises with a series of laugh-out-loud moments, he quickly discovers that leading a country is no joke—especially when his predecessors left behind a mountain of absurd problems.

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

I once believed I was the heroine of a modern fairytale, blessed with beauty, wealth, intelligence, and a powerful legacy. Men adored me, women envied me, and I was engaged to the most desirable man, Cole Fay. My life seemed perfect, a dream where I held the starring role. But on my eighteenth birthday, that illusion crumbled. The truth hit me hard: I wasn't the protagonist, nor even the villain or a side character. I was just cannon fodder, a disposable part of someone else's story. But when fate recognized the cruel joke of my life, I was granted a second chance. This time, I'll write my own story, living for myself. And this time . . . I will never love you again.

Karl Wagner is a disgruntled middle-aged instructor at the Bundeswehr Command and Staff College. He finds himself concerned about the direction which the German nation is headed in—just as he is killed by a terrorist attack. Only to awaken and find himself reborn as an infant, Bruno von Zehntner, the youngest son of a noble family renowned for its part in the German war industry a few years after the founding of the German Empire. Bruno, as he is now known, desires to rewrite history and ensure the German Empire emerges victorious in the coming century. And in doing so, finds himself entrenched in a world filled with Blood and Iron!

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Power is Truth! The Iron Chancellor Bismarck once said, "The great issues of the day will not be settled by speeches and parliamentary resolutions... but by iron and blood." Military enthusiast Qin Tian has been reborn as the fifth son of Wilhelm II, Prince Oscar. Originally just wanting to live a carefree life, he unexpectedly becomes the heir to this empire. To save his own life, Qin Tian must think of every possible way to ensure Germany wins the war! Qin Tian’s goal: "With the sword of Germany, to gain land for the plow of Germany, to secure daily bread for the people of Germany, and to fight for sunlit land for the Germanic nation!"

Life is stressful. Oriental mystery jokes to de-stress.

Act II - Eternal Night: After the events of The Heaven's War, Elise descended further into the dungeon to find that there were actually more vampires in the world besides her, where Enigma, alerted by the fact that she was the owner of the dungeon, descended in haste, where she encountered the greatest joke of fate. Hate surged within Enigma's heart, for she could not believe that the girl in front of her was the spitting image of her late lover. To which Enigma, in an impulse of anger, lets herself go and kills Elise in such a way as to ensure that she will not return. It is here that Enigma remembered. She remembered her past. And all the hatred she felt towards humanity the day Elise died, to which she required a way to make them all pay for their sins, so she decided to release the "Eternal Night". Inconsistent publication in this platform. Monthly in ScribbleHub.

"A thrilling action novel infused with jokes and a touch of life lessons."

We all know about the German war machine and the famous big cats that they made. However, the Jagdpanzer 38t or as we know it, the Hetzer was not something nearly as famous. Often disliked by their crew due to the cramped interior and gun-position, this small terror is often forgotten from history. However for Oberleutnant Hans Ulster this machine was something majestic and beautiful. Join him as he navigates a new and unknown world along with his trustworthy partner the Jagdpanzer 38t, Hetzer.

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

It is the year 2500, and humanity has expanded its reach beyond the confines of Earth. In a distant sector of the galaxy, a young man named Erich "Silber" Jaeger is born into a dystopian empire that tightly controls the lives of its citizens. Growing up in a society rife with discrimination, Erich faces an uncertain future as he approaches military conscription. He will spend the next two decades of his life serving in the Armed Forces of the Germanic Star-Empire, fighting against the many enemies of the authoritarian state. As he navigates the treacherous landscape of interstellar warfare, Erich must grapple with his own ambitions and loyalties. Will he rise through the ranks to become the next dictator of the empire, or will he meet a gruesome end on the battlefield? Join Erich on his journey through the Interstellar Age, as he confronts the challenges of war, politics, and personal identity in a universe filled with danger and intrigue.

This story is about a simple farmer who was forced to join the army and conquer a very dangerous dungeon with the hero of his world. he was sacrificed as cannon fodder to save the hero. and now he's risen again as an undead. what will happen now? read my story to find out bty I'm using a translation from German to English, because I can't write English very well, so I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes. this is my first story i'm writing right now so it probably won't be that interesting but i hope some of you will enjoy it anyway

Form an up-and-coming alchemist to the richest mage to exist, follow the journey of Seth as he walks the path paved with gold while throwing fireballs here and there. Maybe, just maybe you can get a glimpse on the Dao of wealth. Ps: This is not a cultivation novel. Ps: Don’t forget to drop a comment. Ps: Remember to like and subscribe ^-^ Ps: Just joking but do add to library.

(will be updating January 1. total of 15+ chapters{every chapter is 2 chapters in 1}) I don't own this. I'm just bringing this to webnovel for reader. if original creator needs to, I'll take it down if asked( I try not to earn anything off it, but If I need to I will so I can get better sources, new books, or better translation) Lin Tian was reincarnated as a goblin, the lowest class of monsters. In the beginning, he survived through extreme caution. Later on, he completely unleashed the true nature of a goblin! Church Priest: He is the one, true Lord: the God I shall serve. Sword Saintess: Undefeated since birth, yet repeatedly defeated by a small goblin. The Gods: We will never allow a goblin to be named a God! As faith crumbed, Gods fell, and one goblin brutally dominated the world and toyed with everything… Regardless of whether it was a human Sword Saint, the Imperial Princess, the Flame Dragon Mother, the Elf Queen, the Moon God, the Sea God, or the Earth Mother God… upon seeing that small goblin, they would all collapse to the ground in fear! Evolution Path: Small Goblin -> Goblin God

Jason was normal, or as normal as he could be, but one day all that changed. A red pentagram, chanting, and sacrifice brought him to another place another world. He had been summoned, deemed a devil , and asked to grant their wishes..... He at first thought it a joke, but reality soon hit him. He was now something he couldn't wrap his head around, an entity that could be called upon to grant people their requests, but it was not all bad. With enough whit , luck , and deception he indeed fulfilled the role of a devil, thought he didn't really know if he was one.

In a world of monarchies and medieval power struggles, Prince Aron, the 24th son of the Russian Emperor, is exiled alongside his brother Erwin after their mother’s execution. Consumed by vengeance, Aron embarks on a ruthless journey to topple empires and forge a new world order. Through manipulation, military brilliance, and unrelenting ambition, Aron rises from obscurity to establish the United States of Greater German Reich, a powerful dictatorship promising liberation but delivering iron-fisted rule. As the Reich expands, conquering neighboring states and pioneering advanced military tactics, betrayal and rebellion threaten to unravel Aron’s vision. Haunted by paranoia and driven by his anti-heroic resolve, Aron must navigate internal conspiracies, foreign threats, and the weight of his own tyranny to secure his legacy—or face destruction from within. "Iron Will: The Rise of a Tyrant" is a gripping tale of vengeance, power, and the heavy price of ambition.

He who thought that he was given the punishment of being in the darkness for eternity, Was wrong   Fate played a twisted joke on him as he was dumped in the river with his coffin.   Yet he survived, but wait, where am I fuck ,an 80-foot-tall tree? Please tell me this is earth, isn't it?   Yet with lady luck, he got to know where he was and who he was. He was in the cultivation world.   So this is who I am: Fan Yu acquiring the book of knowledge. Watch how Fan Yu survives the infinity forest with his sheer determination.

Born a rat eating orphan, Yao Qin always dreamed of power, ever since he witnessed his parents burn alive. Little did he know it would be a curse. Abducted as a child by a ghost worshiping cult and forced to undergo dark rituals, he became the anchor to the spirit of Death - the Gravewalker. Every time he dies the Gravewalker awakens him, tearing him from the jaws of oblivion. Immortality or a cruel joke? To die on a battlefield a thousand times in a single day, what blessing is there in that? Join Yao Qin in uncovering the secrets of this dark entity, his revenge against the cult - against the heavens themselves, and conquering death.

The Lazy Mage: A Prankster’s Rise to Power* --- Just like all other kids in his world (specifically the middle-lower class) Ray was given lies to... appease him and keep the cycle of 'Weeding out the Weak,' going, but when he is given an extraordinary opportunity where his memories awaken... yeah that'll make even the (arguably) richest god want him. As Ray’s reputation grow, so does the attention of the gods. Some admired his ingenuity; others wanted him destroyed. But Ray didn’t care. To him, it was all just another joke. After all, why fight fair when you can win with a punchline?

I look longingly into Irina’s blue eyes on this tranquil night. I am about to ask her, “Irina… will… will you…” She looks at me with curiosity, “Will I what Franz?” Suddenly a deafening boom sounds throughout the city. Then the city’s air raid sirens scream to life with its ear splitting shrieking. The wispy fingers of the searchlights probe the cloudy night sky. Irina and I look at each other in alarm. We silently agree, we need to find out what is happening. Germany, Toter Garten, 1944. The flames of the Second World War have engulfed Europe, no longer sparing the German people. In a quiet town far away from the chaos of battle is a young German teen, Franz Henkel, who desperately tries to find his way into adulthood in a world gone mad for violence.