Download Chereads APP
Chereads App StoreGoogle Play
Chereads

Dantdm Offensive Memes

Monde Éthéré : La Route de l'Immortalité du Chair à Canon Vicieux

Bei YueYue était une personne généreuse et douce. Par la suite, elle a transmigré et est devenue 'Huang Ying Yue', un personnage secondaire féminin qui est tristement célèbre pour sa méchanceté, son impitoyabilité, son insatiabilité charnelle, son inhumanité et sa personnalité nymphomane dans le roman sur les immortels qu'elle venait de lire. Dans le roman, l'originale 'Huang Ying Yue' a commis d'innombrables actes maléfiques pour offenser bon nombre de personnages puissants à l'intérieur. Non seulement l'héroïne du roman, mais aussi tous les hommes de son harem ont été harcelés et abusés physiquement et mentalement par 'elle' de différentes manières. La route vers l'immortalité est pleine d'épines, de dangers et de menaces imprévisibles. Des cultivateurs maléfiques, des monstres et des démons font rage partout. Tout en poursuivant la voie de l'immortalité, tous les cultivateurs doivent unir leurs forces pour éliminer ces êtres maléfiques. Tout en essayant d'atteindre son objectif, YueYue doit faire face à d'innombrables ennemis puissants que 'Huang Ying Yue' a offensés dans le passé ainsi qu'aux dettes que 'Huang Ying Yue' a commises. Simultanément, elle doit affronter l'héroïne d'une beauté glaciaire, Huang Bai Xing, qui est entourée d'une multitude d'hommes séduisants et de fortunes défiant les cieux. Avec un avantage providentiel et l'amour du ciel, Huang Bai Xing a reçu des aides surnaturelles. Grâce à ces aides, elle devint de plus en plus forte jour après jour et attendit le meilleur moment pour tuer 'Huang Ying Yue'. Des gens puissants, les hommes de Huang Bai Xing, un par un, sortent leurs armes, dans l'intention de tuer et de lui donner une leçon terrifiante parce qu''elle' a blessé leur femme bien-aimée. Heureusement, avec le monde éthéré incroyablement avantageux qu'elle a reçu, elle pouvait planter les plantes spirituelles, récolter les fruits spirituels, cultiver avec le pouvoir spirituel abondant et tricher avec le temps, se baignant dans la cascade spirituelle à l'intérieur de l'espace, tout en conservant sa vie 'paisible' à la poursuite de la route de l'immortalité. Avec son armée de bêtes loyales, elle s'est lancée sur la voie de la cultivation pour rencontrer de nouvelles personnes, l'amour, l'amitié, les épreuves, l'excitation et un passé mystérieux tout en changeant son destin et celui des autres autour d'elle pour un meilleur avenir. Inconsciemment, elle ne se rendait même pas compte que, de par sa personnalité, elle attire d'innombrables fleurs de pêcher qui ont changé son existence monotone pour toujours. Avertissement : Fin 1VN, une femme qui finit avec plusieurs hommes. Il y a des amours tabous (mais pas sans réflexion) Veuillez lire les étiquettes avant de vous plonger dans mon monde. Image de couverture de : Pinterest, les crédits reviennent à leur légitime propriétaire. Mon compte Instagram : Littlecarrot006_ Mon nom d'utilisateur DISCORD : littlecarrot6510 https://discord.gg/8tn2JkKs Mon deuxième livre : Mythe du Miracle : Renaître pour défier mon destin Ce livre participe à la WSA 2024 (En progression) #Portalspace #Harem inversé #Tabou #RomanceNoire #ProtagonisteFéminineXianxia #Xianxia #Np #Cultivation #Aventure #Immortalité #Polyandrie #Beaucoupd'hommesbeaux #Transmigrée #Chairàcanon #Romance #Combat #Bête #Multicontinents #PasséMystérieux #ProtagonisteFémininedouceetgentillemaispassansforce #Pardonnemaisn'oubliepas #ProtagonisteFéminineIntelligente
Littlecarrot · 86.2K Views

Soulbounded In Another World

What happens when life becomes repetitive? When every day feels the same, and nothing excites you anymore? Eventually, life itself starts to feel unbearably dull. This is the story of a boy who finds his life so painfully boring that he often dreams of leaving this world—not through death, but through something far more extraordinary. He wishes to be transported to another world, a world filled with adventure, magic, and purpose. To escape the monotony, he dives into countless fantasy novels and mangas, losing himself in stories of heroes, legends, and impossible worlds. It gives him temporary relief—but also fuels his desire to experience it for himself. And one day, that wish comes true. { since this novel is already tagged as R18, I won't be specifying chapters with ( * or **) any chapter can contain R18 level stuff so don't read it, if you don't like those kind of stuff Strong offensive and vulgar language will be used in this novel, if you feel offended by those then don't read it. Also MC will follow every thing main FMC wants, Call it simp of you want, as he will listen to her every word, not into this type of plot, then please don't read it.(only fmc though as she is his other half ) Oh yes an important question that every one Ask's, will it be NTR then no , but don't ask if it will be yuri or not, do you know why? It is after all a harem, and in harem i will love to add threesome's, foursome's , so writing kissing between womens, touching... everything will be possible.(not into it don't read it) And once womens do things like this than it becomes casual to tease among themselves, yes, no real thing but normal things like teasing and touching will happen without even MC, not into it don't read it Another point it will be slow burn and everything will be detailed, so sex or intimacy scenes will longer than expectations... Also, expect little grammatical errors as I won't be putting much effort in editing it, but there won't be many, I will make sure of it. Last thing, since I had specified everything in synopsis, please don't comment me asking this and that, I won't answer. If all this doesn't affect you, enjoy...R18 won't take long to appear }
Cosmic_Flames · 14.5K Views

My Love Debts Are Everywhere!

An ancient proverb from the Homo sapiens era once stated, "Light and darkness can never be united because they are natural enemies arranged since the creation of the universe." The statement seems plausible, yet it may contain inaccuracies... —————————————— Leon Kruger, a 22-year-old man counted among the three of humanity's heroes, is dispatched by the Holy Empire of Mankind to invade the territory of the Demon Empire—an enduring adversary of humanity for over 7000 years. Wielding the Great Holy Sword Zenith and commanding a legion of thousands of holy troops, he leads the raid on the Desert of Chaos, facing the elite armies of the Demon Race with unwavering valor. Even, he engaged in direct combat against the Demon Emperor, who was actively leading the war on behalf of the Demon Race! Unfortunately, he never foresaw that his offensive was a cunning scheme orchestrated by the Emperor of the Holy Empire. The emperor aimed to eliminate Leon, perceiving him as a threat to his position as the ruler. Furthermore, unbeknownst to him, he had been poisoned before setting out for war, leading to a catastrophic defeat at the hands of the Demon Emperor and resulting in his capture as a prisoner of the Demon Emperor. Envisaging torment at the hands of the notorious Demon Emperor after his capture, he was surprised to find that this foreseen ordeal did not come to pass! The Demon Emperor, unveiled as a remarkably beautiful woman, unexpectedly and without apparent cause, asked him to be responsible for abandoning their triplet daughters?! "Nani! Since when did I have triplet daughters with you, smelly demon woman?!" Not only that, Leon gradually realized that an increasing number of women were approaching him to claim the love debts he had unwittingly accumulated in his youth. "Wait! Hold on! Please be gentle! Both my kidneys are nearly tapped out!" —————————————— #Tag: #Action #Adventure #Harem #Slight-Harem #StrongToStrongest #Romance #Demon #Elven #Hero #Dragon #DaughterLoves #Revenge #Anti-Hero #Handsome-Male-Lead #Beautiful-Female-Leads #SliceOfLife #Unhesitate-MainCharacter #Yandere #PossesiveCharacters #PhsycopathCharacter #HateToLove #Comedy ------------- 400 PS this week = Mass release of 5 chapters! 700 PS this week = Mass release of 8 chapters!
ManipulatorsOne · 1.5M Views

World United: Sci-Tech Era

In any place, planets in any universe and other worlds, if a threat comes from the outside, everyone will definitely unite to defend their land. And a planet called Earth, it's not exempted. Either luck or fate, human beings was able to discover something strange,,, an alien. The visit was secretive and unfriendly for the two parties to fight for their own believes. Fortunately, the human side was able to kill the lone intruder but loss many lives. With this encounter, the human race took it as a heads-up and made a lot of worldwide preparations; focusing in military and directly eliminate many civil matters. At that time, the main character was about to settle down, have a family on his own and enjoy the rest of his life but didn't expect for such a big thing to happen. Lucky he was, had an adventure for him to have the ability to protect his beloved and all the people around him. But one man can't cover the whole planet for many people to die and two-thirds of the land to be occupied by beasts sent by the invading enemy. Although humans had lost in the first war, they learn a lot of things for the rapid growth and develoment in different areas, especially in the field of Science and Technology. When the right time comes, it will be humans who will be on the offensive. For sure there's still a big gap to win against an enemy who got the lead, but human beings is a race that will never give up; will never let anyone get what theirs. But at the end, things sometimes won't go as planned to lose something,,, someone...
Edison_Aben · 100.3K Views

A Love Written In The Stars / 堕落之星的誓言 [Oath of the Fallen Star]

In a world where power is claimed by bloodlines and politics, Meiying, a fierce and skilled warrior, returns home after years of hidden training to find her family gone and her homeland in ruins. Her life takes an unexpected turn when she saves Prince Cheng during a deadly ambush. Unbeknownst to her, this act binds her fate to his, revealing a powerful, untapped secret within herself—the rare ability to manipulate life force, a gift once wielded by the protectors of the throne. But as the Emperor’s desperate deal with a demon curses Cheng’s life and the empire’s stability, Meiying finds herself entangled in a battle far larger than personal revenge. With dark forces and political conspiracies threatening to destroy everything, Meiying must come to terms with her newfound powers and decide where her loyalty lies. Can Meiying, a warrior defined by strength become the key to breaking the curse and saving an empire in peril? As the prince fights for his destiny, will her path of vengeance lead to destruction—or will it be the salvation they both need? ——— Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. My body stiffened as a palace guard called for me from the other side, but I ignored it. Mei, on the other hand, began pushing me away in a panic. "Cheng, let go," she said, struggling in my arms. "Can't you hear him? What if he comes in and sees us like this?" "I don't care," I replied, my lips brushing her ear. "Tell me you forgive me, that's all I need. I won't let go until you do." I knew I was taking a risk, a huge one, if we were seen like this, there would be consequences. But losing Mei would be the bigger risk, the one I couldn't take. I couldn't let her slip away. "I just need to hear you forgive me, mei. That's all I need right now." The guard knocked again, calling my name, and Mei struggled harder. "Cheng, please," she said, her voice cracking under the strain. But I didn't budge. Finally she muttered, "Fine. I forgive you." "I forgive you, you crazy jerk." "You really mean that?" I asked, my voice barely audible. She nodded, exasperated, and only then did I release her. Just as I did, the door swung open, and I barely had time to step back before the palace guard entered, the guard rushed in, his face pale with worry. It was a close call. too close, but I didn't care. Mei flinched at the intrusion, but quickly composed herself, stepping away from me to a more respectable distance. The guard, wide-eyed and clearly flustered, fell to his knees in a bow. "My deepest apologies, Your Highness. I called for you several times but received no reply. I entered out of concern, fearing the worst." I glanced at Mei, but she wouldn't meet my eyes. She simply gave the guard one last look and walked out, leaving the room without a word. I let out a long, exhausted sigh, running a hand through my hair, still reeling from everything that had just happened. Turning back to the guard, I motioned for him to stand. "Get up" "And next time, don't enter my room without permission." ———— Author’s Note (Rong King) This story is a work of fiction, entirely created from my imagination. Any resemblance to real people, events, or places is purely coincidental. I have made every effort to craft a compelling narrative, but I acknowledge that some scenes or details may be inaccurate or unintentionally offensive. For this, I sincerely apologize. My intention is to entertain and inspire, not to harm or misrepresent. Thank you for your understanding. As we journey together through this story, my greatest hope is that our lives reflects God’s love and truth in all we do. I put my faith in Jesus Christ, who gave His life for me, and it’s my prayer that His grace and mercy touch each of us. Thank you for being part of this. May God bless you abundantly!
RongKing · 60.1K Views

The Hawk and The Flamebound: Breaking Dawn

In the world of winged creatures, Mirabella Flamire, nicknamed “Little Egg,” was born a humble sparrow. With her crew members, she ferried spices and goods across the kingdom, living a peaceful life away from the talons of larger predators. However, her life took a fateful turn when her crew received the order to escort the sun-scorched Dusthaven king, Eros La Velle, back to his kingdom, who arrived in Everdale to attend the Crown Prince’s wedding. …………………………….. "Do you know what the most serious of all your offenses is, little birdie?" Mirabella gulped. “I... I burnt your book,” she admitted hesitantly. After all, that book held significant information and she had burnt it accidentally. Eros only stared at her, blue eyes gleaming with something unreadable. He shook his head, the corner of his lips curling into a slow smirk. “You shouldn’t have stolen that day,” he whispered hoarsely. Hearing this, Mirabella gritted her teeth. It was just a small flower. She had picked it on impulse because it was so beautiful. But who knew she would be caught in the hands of this hawk king? “My majesty, I have fanned you for two weeks at night to dissolve that crime,” she said angrily. Eros chuckled and stepped closer, crowding her space like a predator closing in on its prey. He lifted his hand, fingers caressing along her jaw until he cupped her cheek in his entire palm. “No,” he murmured, “You stole something far more precious than a flower.” his voice a low caress. Mirabella’s eyes widened. She did? Eros leaned down, his lips grazed her ear as he delivered the final blow. “The heart I kept locked away…” “You stole it, little birdie.” [SLOW BURN]
Buvi_Sailor · 47.3K Views

Reborn as a K-Pop Trainee with a System

Reborn as a K-Pop Trainee with a System A Comedy-Drama with a Bollywood Twist! Synopsis: Lee Joon, a world-famous Oscar-winning actor, had everything—fame, wealth, and millions of fans. But one day, he dies in the most ridiculous way possible (thanks to a vengeful cat, but that’s another story). The next thing he knows—he’s reborn as an 18-year-old Korean trainee in a ruthless K-pop agency. No acting, no Hollywood connections—just singing, dancing, and suffering. To make matters worse, he has zero talent for dancing. His first attempt at choreography? A Bollywood SRK pose that accidentally goes viral! But just when he’s about to give up, a mysterious system appears: [Ding! Congratulations! You’ve unlocked the ‘Survival Idol System’!] [Complete missions, earn fame, and become the biggest star in the world!] Now, Joon is stuck in the most brutal K-pop survival show where trainees will do anything to debut—even sabotage each other! With his acting skills, his system’s help, and his Indian-style dramatic instincts, can he survive the cutthroat world of K-pop? Or will he just become a meme-worthy internet sensation?! --- What to Expect: ✅ Hilarious Comedy – Joon’s Bollywood antics clash with K-pop’s strict rules! ✅ Chaotic Romance – Fake dating scandals, rivals turning into lovers, and unexpected chemistry! ✅ Showbiz Drama – Backstabbing, industry secrets, and meme-worthy performances! ✅ Overpowered System Shenanigans – Missions, fame points, and Joon scamming his way to stardom! Joon might have been reborn in the wrong industry… but who says he can’t become a K-pop legend anyway?!
Bhavna_0042 · 1.9K Views

18 to 80 and forever

Vanessa Valencia a 17 years old girl whose eyes is full of life, a heart full of magic, a mischief prankster, a cupid matchmaker who make a win-win situation for herself, but one conversation with her friends makes her have a mission, MISSION to find a perfect man for her mom, who's been single for too long when Vanessa realized her been a cupid matchmaker, she never played hitching game on her mother. what if Vanessa decides to find her mother a partner? a soulmate?. "But Vanessa dude, that was a successful hitch," Aden fist bump Vanessa while having a bite of pizza that they got as a treat from the person Vanessa played cupid on. "Enjoying yourself kids?" Alisa asked. "Yep, Mrs valencia" Kova nodded his head in yes. "Glad, when I'm off to bed, have a goodnight," Alisa greeted and began to walk upstairs in towards the bedroom. "Damn nessa, no offense, your mom still has it" Aden commented while sipping his drink. "Aden really," Vanessa said rolling her eyes. "What? can't a man be honest," Aden dramatically placed a hand on his heart. "But nessa, I don't understand, You been a hitcher or cupid matchmaker, still your mom is single WHY?" "What WHY?" Vanessa questioned while trying to copy Aden. "Aden's right," Kova agreed. "Come on girl, USE YOUR BLESSING ON YOUR MOM AND HITCH HERR," Aden whispered standing up and pointing at Vanessa. "Now that's dramatic Aden". But Aden's words did put Vanessa in deep thought, ADEN IS RIGHT, HITCH HER, YES, Vanessa thought. ................................. Will Vanessa be able to find her mother a perfect man or not? Join Vanessa's journey in 18 to 80, to know what happens. {The above cover doesn't belong to me, credit to the owner)
vid_vaid · 27.7K Views

Withered Lily

In this fantastical land where the winds of change blow, the gods dominate everything, and conflicts among nations are unending. A sudden coalition offensive ruthlessly shattered the glory of once-mighty empires. The noble princess, from the lofty heights of royalty, instantly plunged into the endless abyss of escape. Fortunately, her loyal knight accompanied her like a shadow, guiding her into the unknown perils ahead. Along the way, they faced countless hardships, encountered mysterious figures, and experienced bizarre events, each step filled with challenges and uncertainties. Yet the princess did not succumb; in the whirlpool of fate, she quietly transformed from a delicate royal maiden into an ambitious leader determined to restore her kingdom. With her footsteps, the entire world’s landscape subtly changed. Demons coveted the human realm, various factions stirred with ambition, and even the distant gods cast wary glances upon her. In this whirlwind of change sweeping across the world, how would the princess choose? Could she break free from her predetermined fate and carve out a legend uniquely her own? On a land shrouded by gods and the flames of war, Princess Aelia of the Novaris Empire initially lived a carefree life. However, a sudden coalition invasion completely destroyed her homeland. The empire fell, the royal family was annihilated, and under the protection of her loyal knight, Aries, Aelia embarked on a path of escape. During her flight, Aelia and Aries faced countless dangers and encountered various people—kind-hearted civilians, cunning merchants, and treacherous enemies. Each encounter deepened Aelia’s understanding of the world’s cruelty and complexity. She gradually transformed from an innocent princess into a resilient leader. Throughout her escape, Aelia began to gather an army loyal to her cause. She vowed to reclaim her besieged homeland and restore the glory of the Novaris Empire. However, her enemies were not only the invading coalition but also the distant gods, who viewed Aelia as a threat and sought to erase her completely. As the war escalated, the entire world was drawn into this catastrophe. Humans, elves, demons, and even gods stood against Aelia. She had to confront unprecedented challenges, struggle against fate, and oppose the world. Ultimately, Aelia, a mortal, embarked on the path of god-slaying. Her sword pointed at those who once ruled the land, and her will shook the entire world. In this epic war, Aelia not only reclaimed her homeland but also became a new deity of this land, writing a legend that belonged solely to her.
Raymond_Hla · 1.3K Views

Blood of Two Realms

In a world divided between humans and demons, Kaien Duskborn stands alone—a half-breed despised by both sides of his heritage. For centuries, the human realm of Solaria and the demon territory of Morbidus have existed in a state of perpetual conflict, their hatred fueled by ancient prejudices and the machinations of power-hungry leaders on both sides. Born from the forbidden union of a human mother and demon father—both executed for their love—Kaien has survived on the margins of society, constantly hunted and forever an outsider. His unique dual nature grants him abilities from both bloodlines but acceptance from neither. Despite this, he harbors a dangerous dream: lasting peace between the two warring races. When whispers reach Kaien that the current Demon Lord Azarok secretly shares his vision for reconciliation, he dares to hope. But time is running out. War drums beat louder as human militias mobilize and demon forces gather at the borders. The fragile stalemate teeters on the edge of collapse as hardliners on both sides push for a final, devastating conflict. Armed with stolen intelligence about an imminent human offensive and aided by a small network of like-minded outcasts, Kaien embarks on a perilous journey to infiltrate the Demon Court—a place where half-breeds are executed on sight. His mission: to confirm Azarok's true intentions and forge an unprecedented alliance before it's too late. As Kaien navigates treacherous political landscapes and ancient hatreds, he uncovers a shocking conspiracy spanning both realms—powerful figures orchestrating conflict to maintain their control and prevent a unification that would threaten their authority. To survive, he must embrace both sides of his divided nature and become what neither humans nor demons expected: a bridge between worlds. With enemies closing in from all directions and the clock ticking toward all-out war, Kaien's quest becomes more than a mission for peace—it becomes a fight for the very future of both realms and a test of whether blood must always divide, or if it might finally unite.
Fieren · 700 Views

WHEN I GOT REINCARNATED AS A SPIDER WITH MY GODDESS

Sachi has lived a life devoid of the love and friendship that many take for granted, having lost her parents at a young age. However, following a tragic school bus accident, she and her classmates are reincarnated in a divine realm and tasked with saving a new world. Full of hope for a brighter future, Sachi eagerly accepts her new life. As part of the reincarnation process, each person is accompanied by a God or Goddess to guide them on their journey. While Sachi's classmates are chosen by powerful deities and are granted impressive abilities, Sachi is chosen by the non-combat Goddess Athena. The two of them, being weak and lacking in offensive power, are belittled and bullied by the other Gods and students. Despite the disdain of those around them, Sachi and Athena form a close friendship and support each other through all trials. However, their bonds are tested when they are betrayed by those they thought were their allies and find themselves under attack from the fearsome Heavenly Guardian Beast, Fenrir. Despite the odds, Sachi and Athena manage to survive and defeat the beast, and others begin to recognize Sachi's true, overpowering potential. Determined to protect each other and lead a happy life, Sachi and Athena embark on a journey to save Isleguard, facing many challenges along the way. Will they be able to overcome these obstacles and achieve their goal? Note for readers : Please forgive me if you find the volume 1 terrific, but that was the time I started writing for the first time and it has improved considerably from volume 2 with volume 1 currently under a rewrite. \_(ツ)_/ ̄ Join discord community to have access to a large number of illustrations related to the chapter and also keep getting informed about the chapter release dates and news.   Join discord community - https://discord.com/invite/WUGFUxbpbd \_(ツ)_/ ̄ SUPPORT ME IN MY WRITING ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄   Till now I have published from volume one to volume seven for free. And I hope to continue to do so even now. It has really been an exciting work for me to narrate you the story of our main character who fights her way to the bottom of abyss with her magic and skills and then eventually storms in the outside world. Keeping the text error free takes a lot of revisions and consumes time, but no work is ever perfect. With your support and reviews I know that I have improved a lot in my writing. You can support my writing by reviewing my book on the platform you are reading or especially rate my book on Amazon Kindle. And even now I am asking for a bit more that if you voluntarily support my writing then you can do it now by donating me.   Paypal - paypal.me/Harshitintelligent   Buy me a coffee at - https://ko-fi.com/noelelitia   You can support me from (razorpay gateway) - https://rzp.io/l/LgC54Q3   Even a little amount helps. I hope that you keep enjoying my work and in knowing the interesting characters which will be constantly introduced to you in the story. I hope that the next chapter too proves to be to your liking!
Noel_Elitia · 1.6M Views

Heavy Weapons - Sweet Venom

Part of the Heavy Weapons sci-fi universe. Arc 1 & 2 - A small Nomad colony reports that thousands of people missing and no one dares to look into it, Diego Harley decides to investigate and becomes the fascination of dark, dangerous creatures that begin to obsess over him, putting everyone around him in danger as they try to claim him for their own perverted, reckless desires... Arc 3 - As the dust settles from the clash in arc 2, the corruption spreads and catches the attention of larger players within the universe, but as the crew some come to find, someone doesn't need to be corrupted- to be thoroughly corrupt. Might meets desire as the Rewritten expand their operations and show the universe that they are here to stay whilst Diego tries to find a way out of his new situation. 18+ only - This is a very adult story from the very beginning with strong focus on futanari on male action, it does have good story elements however (so i've been told) - if that doesn't put you off, please continue. Features anthropomorphic characters, violence, corruption, aliens and an awful lot of goo. Level 1 (GREEN) - Vanilla sex scenes, likely to be male on female Level 2 (AMBER) - More diverse and "saucier" sex featuring the corrupted cast and futa biology Level 3 (RED) - Scenes involving more alien biology, more fetish based work, potential soft non-con Level 4 (BLACK) - Unusual fetishes and potentially offensive scenes with hard non-con being a possibility
BetaKrogoth · 107.3K Views

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS—Rank Reincarnator, Transmigrator, Regressor

THE TRAGIC, GLORIOUS, AND ABSURD DEATH OF COLL APSI: A NATIONAL DISASTER OR A BLESSING IN DISGUISE? By: A Reporter Who Was Forced to Write This Ladies and gentlemen, citizens of the internet, and all the unfortunate souls who have nothing better to do than read this article—today, we gather to mourn (or mock) the untimely demise of Coll Apsi, the so-called "number one pro-gamer" of Yggdrasil Online. Yes, you heard that right. The man who dedicated his life to clicking buttons faster than the rest of us has finally clicked his last. How did it happen, you ask? Was it a tragic accident? A conspiracy? Perhaps the government finally decided to tax gamers for their virtual wealth? No, dear readers. The truth is far more poetic. Coll Apsi, a man of legendary skill but questionable life choices, was found dead in his apartment. His cause of death? A brain shock caused by excessive stimulation. A poetic way of saying that his brain literally couldn’t handle his own awesomeness. Some might say it was a divine punishment for spending too much money on in-game cosmetics, while others argue it was simply evolution removing the weak from the gene pool. Now, let’s talk about the crime scene. The authorities found our dear Coll in a rather unique position—doing a full kayang (bridge pose) while his manhood stood at full attention. Some experts suggest this was a final salute to his gacha waifus, while others believe it was a desperate attempt to ascend into another dimension. Either way, it worked. He got isekai’d. Naturally, the news spread faster than government scandals, and soon, the live chat was flooded with reactions that ranged from genuine sadness to absolute degeneracy. Some fans cried out, “Gone too soon!”, while others immediately began making memes about “Coll Apsi’s Final Form.” There was even a small cult forming, claiming that he had achieved true enlightenment and would return as the God of RNG. But let’s not forget the family’s response. In a heartwarming display of motherly affection, Coll’s mother, Madam Apsi, was interviewed and gave a truly tear-jerking statement: "That useless brat! Where’s all his money?! I raised a son, not a broke corpse!" Indeed, it turns out that despite being a top-tier professional gamer, Coll Apsi somehow managed to spend every single penny he earned on loot boxes, NFTs, and premium battle passes. A true financial mastermind. The government’s tax department, upon realizing there was nothing left to seize, immediately lost interest in the case. And if you thought that was the end of it—oh no. Even game developers and corporations had something to say. The official Yggdrasil Online Twitter account posted a heartfelt message: "Rest in peace, Coll Apsi. May your soul continue to grind in another world." Meanwhile, other game developers jumped on the opportunity, releasing limited-time Coll Apsi tribute skins priced at a very respectful 99.99 dollars. Nothing honors the dead like capitalism, after all. But perhaps the most unexpected response came from a national agency, which, in a rare moment of self-awareness, tweeted: "We have reviewed the case and can confirm that Coll Apsi’s death was indeed NOT a government operation. If we were responsible, we assure you it would have looked like a normal heart attack." Ah, government transparency at its finest. Of course, conspiracy theories began to spread. Some claimed that Coll had unlocked the secrets of the universe, while others believed he was assassinated by a rival esports team. There was even one theory suggesting that he had successfully hacked the afterlife, leading to an emergency server maintenance in heaven.
DimensionalEater · 5.6K Views
Related Topics
More