Jokes For Retards

One minute, she was spiraling out of her scooter, watching in horror as her fried chicken flew into the horizon. The next minute, she was signing the contract to become a mother to his sons while staring into his glacier blue eyes. "The contract is effective as of now" He announced, as he dropped the pen. His brow was lifted challengingly and his voice reverberated around the room, bounced and sent zings of electricity down her spine. She tilted her head to a side, studying him covertly as she smiled menacingly. She was going to make him regret his decision. Let the games begin..!

Hernia is his to care for and he doesn’t care what the world thinks of that.

The story is about how an old man wanted to fly on an airplane all his life, but he still couldn't do it.

When rivalry and ambition collide, Melanie Scott and Rhys Edwards are forced to confront their past, navigate betrayals, and uncover the power of love. In a game of dominance and control, hearts are tested, alliances are formed, and vulnerability becomes the ultimate strength. Will love triumph over ambition, or will their battles consume them?

"My fiancé is a high school student?" Sohee, an Omega drowning in debt, has two choices: marry a younger chaebol Alpha, or sell himself to an older yet violent loan shark Alpha. Ah, there's a third option, too. "Should I just off myself or something?" *** #omegaverse #dominantalpha #powerbottom #collegeromance #healing

Savannah Moretti has enough problems without adding “workplace crush” to the mix. Ryan Hartwell—her annoyingly smug, Greek-god-looking colleague—has been her sworn nemesis since day one. She can deal with his snarky comments, unsolicited advice, and the way his stupid blue eyes seem to see right through her. What she can’t deal with? Her traitorous brain constantly imagining him shirtless. Or, worse, helpful. With her youngest sister’s wedding only a month away, her anxiety skyrockets to new heights at the thought of enduring yet another round of her family’s relentless interrogation about her (nonexistent) love life. Again. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and when Ryan, of all people, offers to be her plus-one for the week-long island wedding, Savannah is too cornered to say no. It’s just one week. A harmless fake-dating arrangement. What’s the worst that could happen? Besides Ryan force-feeding her lobster rolls... or making her question everything she thought she knew about him—and herself?

Welcome to Asmodeus. An entire class of high school students have been reincarnated after your previous life ended. A mad wizard accidentally opened a portal between their world and this one, destroying their bodies. In an effort to preserve their soul, The God of the world brought them here to Asmodeus, not out of kindness but as a show, a land where magic and war shape destinies. They may choose a path to become a hero, a villain, or remain a passive observer. In 20 years, a tournament will be held to determine the strongest among them, and the victor will be granted a gift, after which they will be reincarnated once more.

Ivy Green, a gentle florist, believed in love and happily-ever-afters. But her perfect life shattered when she caught her fiancé, Samuel, in the arms of her stepsister. Betrayed by the two people she trusted most, Ivy’s heartbreak drove her to the unthinkable—ending her own life. Yet death wasn’t the end. Reborn with all the painful memories of her past, Ivy awakens with a mysterious power she never knew she had. Stronger and wiser, she vows to uncover the secrets of her betrayal and take back control of her life. Her journey for justice leads her to Sebastian Hale, a brooding and powerful man cursed by his family’s dark legacy. Their fates entwine in unexpected ways, testing Ivy’s resolve and opening the door to a love that could heal her shattered heart—or destroy it completely. Votes for Vows is a tale of heartbreak, rebirth, and redemption, perfect for readers who love emotional twists, gripping revenge, and slow-burn romance.

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

Alicia had always despised writing. Her past held secrets that made the thought of putting pen to paper unbearable. Yet, when her school insisted she join the journalism club, she reluctantly agreed, unaware that this decision would change her life forever. An unknown person suddenly entered her life, a person who is a passionate writer and photographer with an eye for detail and a heart full of stories. Their worlds collide in unexpected ways, and what begins as a forced partnership soon blossoms into a powerful bond. Together, they embark on a journey through the lens of a camera and the tip of a fountain pen. But as their connection deepens, the shadows of Alicia's past loom larger. What made her hate writing so much, and will her newfound relationship with this unknown person help her confront her fears? I'll write, for you and for us is a gripping tale of love, secrets, and the power of storytelling. Dive into Alicia's world and discover how two souls, brought together by fate, can rewrite their destinies.

Jennifer Benz, an orphan girl who was raised by by aunt after the death of her both parents and was maltreated and hate by her aunt and her children. But due to the accident she witness, she was like a child even at the age of twenty four years. David loris ,a cool,rich, powerful, aloof businessman who cares about nothing but his bJennifer Benz an orphan girl who was raisedusiness and anything that will give him money. Unfortunately, things got difficult when his parents refused to handover their company to him unless he find a bride . David decide to rent a bride for 2 years in order to win them over. What will happen when a cute, childish bride marries a cold aloof man.

In a bustling city, top journalist Han Sohee teams up with Tae hu, a quiet detective, to crack a tough case. As they dig deeper, they uncover ties to Han Sohee's past and sparks fly. Tae hu, usually a loner, starts to open up. Their growing bond adds a twist to their investigation. Will their newfound closeness help them solve the case, or will it complicate everything?

What would you do if you met a mysterious charming stranger, but could never fully see his face? That was the very predicament Cloud Belmont found himself in. It was unusual to find the spark one had been searching for, for so many years on Palace Grounds, but somehow they had found each other. Although this mysterious man knows everything about Cloud. Cloud has not even seen the face of the person he spends endless amounts of hours with. Follow Cloud’s journey on finding out who the man is and his own journey on finding himself.

Zheng shuyi is a hardworking successful reporter for one of China's leading financial magazine company, she secured an exclusive interview with the famous shi Yan CEO of an investment firm (yun chuang). shi Yan a young handsome business tycoon, is looking forward in makimg serious investments in one of his company that is about to go bankrupt. he needs a good article outline that will save his company from going bankrupt. could this blossoming working relationship also lead them on the part to love?

“Elise…” I called out to her. I wanted to say something but my brain could not form any words to utter. So, her name in my lips lingered and silence enveloped us. I glimpsed at her peaceful face and, as if on cue, my nerves relaxed. I gently touched her cheeks using my thumb then moved to her lips. Everything is probably an understatement of what I am willing to do for her. Beyond everything, that is, if it exists. I moved closer to reach the seat belt and quickly strapped her. I also adjusted my seat and strapped my own. Then, I started the car engine and drove off. My mind wandered off our first meeting. She didn’t appear promising to me when she descended the doorstep of their house. She walks extremely slow and she hangs her head down like a sinner. The cuffs of her long sleeves were constantly pulled to hide her hands. Then, she looked up to meet my gaze. Her eyes were puffy and it was very obvious that she spent an hour, and probably more, crying. Nevertheless, she smiled at me, giving me an access to view her white teeth. She, then, accepted the flowers that I was offering. Her nails were clean and bare, no paint. Then, she muttered her first word to me, “Thank you.” After that, she went inside.

There's nothing to read. This book has been officially removed

Kaira was wronged. And she's ready to get revenge for all their actions.

When nothing goes your way and everyone around you takes you for granted, where do you look for help? Ofcourse, you make a wish to a genie. But anything you wish comes with its own terms and conditions.

Austin, a man reincarnated from a world where science is prominent, finds himself In a world where Magians, humans who possess the capabilities to perform arcane (a.k.a magic), must battle against the re-emerging demonic creatures and their followers to protect the human race and other humanoid races, from annihilation. Following a life-saving encounter with a famous hero, Austin's awakening grants him the memories of his past life and access to 'The Akasha', a mysterious system. With newfound purpose, he endeavors to embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, facing challenges and adversaries to uncover the secrets of his reincarnation and the enigmatic origins of The Akasha.

"Miles," I said again, my voice a bit shaky now. "Why did you bring me here?" He turned to face me, his expression suddenly serious. He stepped closer, and I felt my back press against the cold wall behind me. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. "I like you," he whispered. My mind went blank. For a few seconds, I just stood there, staring at him, not sure if I had heard him right. Then, out of nowhere, I burst out laughing. It wasn’t that I didn’t take him seriously; I just didn’t know how else to react. Miles was not the type of person to confess his feelings like that. This had to be a joke, right? "Miles, you—" I started, but before I could finish, he grabbed me by the collar and kissed me. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. It was rough, almost desperate. I froze, my mind reeling. This couldn’t be happening. But it was. His lips were on mine, his body pressed against me. For a moment, I was too shocked to do anything, but then I shoved him away with all the strength I had left, my heart racing in my chest. "What the hell, Miles?" I shouted, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and confusion. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression calm, too calm. "I’m sorry," he said quietly. "It was just a joke." "The plot revolves around Miles and leo, two high school boys who were once friends but are now just strangers. But what happens when, one day, Miles kisses leo and tells him that he likes him? But it's just a joke....? What the heck! Leo didn't like this joke at all.

Anderson didn't understand the true meaning of love till she met Bryan, the cold-adonis, a handsome, and powerful CEO of bryan cooperation, the richest company in the city of Eden. But it all started with a story!! The thirst for revenge endeared Anderson to cross paths with bryan, and then, THEIR JOURNEY OF LOVE began

The epic journey of Alev the protagonist and several characters through fantastical worlds governed by magic, gods, and kings. Through battles, alliances, and mystical transformations, the characters confront their pasts, navigate shifting realities, and challenge gods With Alev's quest to capture the one causing the rupture of the universe, at all cost...

' In my past life, I couldn't differentiate who was my enemy and who was my friend. I kept my enemy close but isolated my friends. I never knew he was in love with me until the last moment of my life. Later he was the one who took my ashes with him. My so-called lover was actually in a relationship with my best friend, a succumbed and a cheater. Since God gave me a chance to come back then this time I'm gonna value my marriage with him, save my family and revenge on those who hurt me. Qi Yan, I came back for you so please don't let me be disappointed. Love me once again. ' Our female lead is the typical second youngest miss of Fu family Fu Hui Qing, a naïve little child until she is forced to marry the powerful CEO of the Qi family, Qi Yan, instead of her sister to save her family from going bankrupt. For this she hates her whole family even until the end of her life. Only then was when she finally realized how to hurt her parents were. The Qi family head Qi Yu stated that they wanted a daughter from the Fu family to become their granddaughter in law as long as one married his grandson the Qi family will save the Fu family and destroy the one that destroyed them. They chose her and not her younger sister because her mother had visited a fortune master who stated that as long as Hui Qing falls in love with Qi Yan, she wouldn't die before 30. The last time she died was when she 29. Killed by that person she called a friend and by her cheating lover. Now she is gonna take back everything. Her love, marriage, and reputations as the most famous manga artist and fashion designer under the name Jade. This is a tale about how a naïve yet powerful female lead fall in love with her soon to be domineering husband. Would Qi Yan be able to fall in love with her again? How would their story go? Follow to know more. Other books: -Prince and his wives (sterilizing) The cover isn't mine found it on pintrest, so credits goes to the artist. English is not my first language so bear with my spelling mistakes. I will update every Thursday for now, Uk time.

"To many stars, too many dreams. The reality is that in front of these things. I'm just a speck of dust " -RM(BTS) 8/4/2030,Kashmir,India "Now my life is set. I got a fine job, a car and I brought a house for my parents. My materialistic dreams come true. I'm happy you know "I said to her. "But what about your first love, Tanisha? He is getting married in 2 month. "Risha to me. This thing broke my heart but he can't be forever because it's a one sided love for him. "I'm happy for him "giving a genuine smile to her l said. ヾ(≧▽≦*)oo==[]::::::::::::::::> 16/6/2031,Dishpoor,Guwahati ,Assam "You are getting married to him, tan "Aunty said to me in a broken voice. But I can't. 14/2/2032 , South Mumbai, Mumbai "Our marriage, it's just a force one. You will never get love and respect form me "He shouted at me. "Than why you agreed for the marriage that time. "I said to him. "Because of my reputation in the society "And then he is gone to that girl who is breaking by marriage which is already broken by one side . "Sahil please don't don't go. " o==[]::::::::::::::::> Two individual who are bond to societies norms are finding their happiness with out breaking any rules. However they don't know that some rules are made to brake.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters, incidents, history, future, present, the history of kings, princesses, princes, labors, exportation, orders, punishment, and everything portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. The real history...

An aftermath of an apocalypse, a broken and chilling change that occurred twenty thousand years ago when a meteorite collided with Earth, blanketing the land on every scale in snow and cold. Liam Blake, a cold, judgemental, ruthless yet kind person, emerged from the icy depths, stranded without any help. With no place to call home, he witnessed three men abusing a young girl and, driven by his own judgement and anger, he swiftly decapitated them to nil. Collapsed on the cold ground with a blood bath beneath his body, blaming himself yet still has a reason to live, an 'unknown' goal which Liam chose to endure. As his wishes to live provisioned through the cold forest, he encounters, a lady named Hailey Southwark, saving him from the near death experience as is arm was torn off. Grateful for her act of kindness, Liam though had a personal goal but decided to become Hailey's acquaintance as a Node, a person who woke beneath the ice. Liam, being haunted by mysterious dreams and soon discovered that these visions were turning into reality. Uncertain of what comes next, he decides to help Hailey with the cases that connected the mysteries tangling his dreams.