Very Funny Yo Mama Jokes

I stood still as I was in front of the cold man before me. I stared with a firm gaze as I looked for words to say. "I admit, Jordan is your son." I said with a firm gaze and his eyes were on me as I spoke. "So you spent the whole fvcking 5 years not even telling me." he snickered and I looked at him with so much fright. "But we both know you are a beast and you don't have a heart, so please, let me just take my son and we will be out of you're life." I said and held little Jordan in my hands. Quickly, I turned to leave but as I was about to walk out, his next words put me in a halt. "You are not going anywhere with my son. I will take care of him weather you like it or not." he insisted with a cold glare, restricting my movement. I knew I was not going to get anywhere with an argument with him. He was death; a beast; always having his ways in things he does and I knew I couldn't fight him. For a moment I thought. Maybe I should leave Jordan with him, then come visit him. That would be quite right and easy for me. I gathered some courage and now spoke, "Fine then, I'll just come and visit him. So please, take good care of him." I muttered, and the fact that guilt is eating me for all of those years I spent not telling him made me say those exact words. "Visit? Who said you will just be visiting him? You will come and live with him." he said with a husky voice and fear gripped me. "No never, I will never go back there again." I sneered and quickly turned to hurry off, but he grabbed my hands, pulling me back and trapping me against the wall. I could feel the heat of his body so close to mine, and his domineering gaze lowering on me making my heart race while I stared right into his eyes he boldly locked on mine. "It's either you come or die then, Mia." he said and smirked. For a moment, I forgot to breath. •••••••• It has always been hard for Mia Hills as she was working for her grandmother. She was an orphan and lived with her sick grandmother, trying so hard to pay for her grandmother's medical bills. Out of desperation she went to DEATH a deadly man who was ruthless and cold. She did one thing she didn't want to do; she sold her virginity to the beast in exchange for money. After her one stand with death she promised herself that she'd never get linked to death again but when she found out that she is pregnant, her world turned out to be crumbling. Not just any child but DEATH'S CHILD.

Hm... Fantasy battle, smart MC, smart heroins, supper plot twist...etc... are all things that... this novel doesn't have. This place only has... Stupid MC, Normal heroins, normal plot, slice of life and... some sh*t thing. I just want to write what I want no matter how bad it is. ( ' 3') --------------- After going bankrupt, with nothing left in his hands, Lathel died at the age of 50. After his death, a god offered him a chance to go to another world and help the male protagonists. His mission was to solve the problems surrounding the heroines so that the male protagonists could easily get along with them. To be more precise, his job was similar to that of a chef. He would Process the ingredients and cook a sumptuous feast, while the male protagonists just needed to sit at the table and enjoy it. After completing his mission, he was threatened by a stranger. In the face of this threat Lathel just smiled and decided to commit suicide. After he died, those heroines also dropped their facade and revealed their true nature. Lathel once again met the god who helped him. This time, the god allowed him to choose the world he wanted to go to as a gift for completing his task. He then chose a Fantasy world, a place most men dreamt of. However, the Fantasy world had too many people to choose from, moreover the number of main character and antagonist slots were all full. In the end, Lathel accepted to take on the role of an extremely weak supporting character to go to the Fantasy world. However, this time he didn't need to work or help the main character. He just needed to not affect the main character's development. Lathel: “Hm... as long as it doesn't affect the main character... then... Can I make a harem?” God: “Of course.” Lathel: “Hm... so... I just need to avoid the main character's woman.” God: “That's right. You just need to try to survive in that world. Ah! I will give you a system that will help you have a good life in that world. I Hope you enjoy this new life.” Lathel: “Um! So my harem will consist of lackluster women, it seems like a peaceful life is waiting for me.” God: “Hm... not really...” *** See the character's pic here: https://twitter.com/HikaruKiki1111

Quería ser el Héroe, pero en el fondo sabía que no podía. Diez años después del fin del mundo luché desesperadamente por sobrevivir, pero caí de rodillas ante un gran destino. “Si tan solo me dieran una oportunidad más”. Y como de milagro, llegó otra oportunidad. Ya no es como antes, cuando me di por vencido y lo dejé todo. Ya me cansé de desempeñar el papel secundario, ahora es el momento de superar a los demás. Seré el protagonista y alcanzaré las estrellas. *** Descargo de responsabilidad: todos los personajes, escenarios, etc. públicamente reconocibles son propiedad de sus respectivos dueños. No se pretende infringir los derechos de autor. Está no es mi obra, sino una traducción de la obra: 나만 아는 주인공들

Anna's world was crumbling. Her mother's life was fading away, and the medical bills were choking her. In desperation, she made a decision that would cost her a lifetime: a decision to become a baby mama for the wealthy and jerky Adams Winthrop. Adams, the sole heir of the Winthrop Fashion Empire, needed an heir to secure his inheritance. But with his playboy lifestyle and lack of interest in commitment, finding a willing partner seemed impossible. That was until he laid eyes on Anna at the clubhouse. She was in dire need of cash, and he needed a baby. It was a match made of convenience, not love, or so they thought. As the months went by, Anna found herself falling head over heels for the charming and captivating Adams. But could she truly fall for a man who only wanted her for her womb?

In the bustling city of Shinjuku, a high school student Aki Yukito finds himself seated next to the popular "gal" of the class, Futaba Hinata. With her flashy fashion sense, Hinata quickly becomes the attention among their classmates. Despite Hinata's harboring a hatred on Yukito, Yukito always discovers a different side of Hinata. "Good morning, Futaba-san" "Please don't ever talk to me again"

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

"Kamu pikir dengan menyembuhkanku akan membuatku lebih mencintaimu?" Dia mencemooh sambil menarik rambutku keras-keras saat ia menyeretku menuju pintu. "Kamu menyakitiku, Xavier," aku menangis memukul-mukulnya dengan lemah. Tak banyak yang bisa kulakukan. "Jika aku melihatmu sedekat satu inci dari diriku lagi," dia melemparku ke dinding "aku akan melupakan konsekuensinya dan membunuhmu,". *** Pasangan dan aku memang ditakdirkan untuk saling membenci, hanya tindakan cinta sejati atau pengorbanan dari pasangan yang lebih kuat yang bisa membetulkan takdir kami, tapi selama tujuh tahun, aku harus menahan siksaan dan cinta semu pasanganku hingga suatu hari aku memutuskan untuk pergi. Aku pergi, bertekad untuk terus tersembunyi darinya selamanya... tetapi beberapa minggu kemudian, aku mengetahui bahwa aku hamil.

"Você achou que me curar faria com que eu te amasse mais?" Ele zombou, agarrando meu cabelo enquanto me arrastava em direção à porta. "Você está me machucando, Xavier," eu chorei, batendo nele fracamente. Não havia muito que eu pudesse fazer. "Se eu te ver a uma polegada de distância de mim," Ele me jogou contra a parede "Eu desafio as consequências e te mato,". *** Minha companheira e eu estávamos destinados a nos odiar, apenas um ato de amor verdadeiro ou altruísmo do companheiro mais forte poderia colocar nossos destinos no caminho certo, mas durante sete anos, eu tive que suportar o abuso do meu companheiro e seu suposto amor da vida dele até que um dia decidi partir. Parti, determinada a ficar escondida dele para sempre... mas descobri que estava grávida algumas semanas depois.

"Dachtest du, wenn du mich heilst, würde ich dich mehr lieben?" Spöttisch packte er mich an den Haaren, während er mich zur Tür zog. "Du tust mir weh, Xavier", weinte ich und schlug schwach gegen ihn. Es gab nicht viel, was ich tun konnte. "Wenn ich dich jemals auch nur einen Zentimeter in meiner Nähe sehe", warf er mich gegen die Wand, "werde ich die Konsequenzen verdammen und dich töten. *** Mein Gefährte und ich waren dazu bestimmt, einander zu hassen, nur ein Akt wahrer Liebe oder Selbstlosigkeit des stärkeren Gefährten konnte unsere Schicksale auf den richtigen Weg bringen, aber sieben Jahre lang musste ich die Misshandlungen meines Gefährten und seine vermeintliche Liebe seines Lebens ertragen, bis ich eines Tages beschloss zu gehen. Ich ging, entschlossen, mich für immer vor ihm zu verstecken... aber ein paar Wochen später fand ich heraus, dass ich schwanger war.

"Did you think healing me would make me love you more?" He scoffed grabbing my hair as he pulled me towards the door. "You're hurting me, Xavier," I cried beating against him weakly. There was not much I could do. "If I ever see you an inch close to me," He threw me against the wall "I'll damn the consequences and kill you,". *** My mate and I were destined to hate each other, only an act of true love or selflessness from the stronger mate could set our destines on the right path but for seven years, I had to put up with my mate's abuse and his supposed love of his life until one day I decided to leave. I left, determined to stay hidden from him forever... but I found out I was pregnant few weeks later.

Renacido como el príncipe heredero de un pobre país insular en el sudeste asiático, Xiao Yunhai se ve obligado a esforzarse en desarrollar la economía para evitar ser derrocado y aumentar los ingresos de la población. Aprovechando la ventaja del conocimiento previo y un sistema especial, bajo su liderazgo diligente, este extravagante príncipe heredero logra en pocos años un despegue económico para el pequeño país. Los medicamentos para tratar el cáncer y los productos para el blanqueamiento y el aumento de X se convierten en el objeto de deseo de las mujeres de todo el mundo. Crea un parque temático de la serie "Tomb Raider", que se convierte en el más popular del mundo... Bajo su liderazgo, este pequeño país se transforma en un centro mundial de la medicina, un gigante del anime, los videojuegos y la cultura, así como el destino turístico más popular del mundo, atrayendo a cientos de millones de turistas cada año. En lo militar, Xiao Yunhai tampoco escatima en gastos. ¿Un brigada sintética cuesta 20 mil millones? Cómprala, trae diez primero. ¿Un destructor de 10 mil toneladas cuesta 6,5 mil millones? Tráelo, trae veinte primero. ¿Un avión de quinta generación cuesta más de 100 millones por unidad? Aquí tienes mis 100 mil millones, traeme mis aviones... Su extravagante gasto hace que incluso los jeques del Medio Oriente se queden boquiabiertos. El país del dragón exclama que este sí es el verdadero "millonario excéntrico".

"Why can't you come back? My heart beats only for you. Your sight alone quenches my thirst and hunger. Come back to me and I'll accommodate both you and your daughter," he broke into a weak sob "Come back to me, lest I die," he breathed heavily, holding his chest as he voiced the words "Oh, Edward!" Her rehearsed self-control slipped from its firm stand "I want nothing more but to stand in your arms forever," she sighed, "But I'm no more the girl you used to love, I'm a Prostitute." Orphaned Roxanne, manages to land a job as a cleaner in a very prestigious company after four years of waiting helplessly. But this job comes with many tasking responsibilities that keep her forever on her toes. One of them being the fact that she has to keep herself from drowning in the grumpy CEO's lusty bed However, withholding herself from falling into lusty temptation isn't the only struggle she has to face, as she is doomed to find out that the secret of her birth family has been lying beneath her nose, that her moral self-control against lust has slipped out of place and given way to a seed that has zero chance of knowing a father and that there is a concentratedly dangerous killer who would not rest until she has been reduced to ashes.

Hace 500 millones de años. Periodo Cámbrico. Dios descendió sobre la tierra bárbara más antigua y los mares primitivos. Él es el principio de todo, creó la sabiduría y la vida, es el Creador de todos los seres vivientes. Con el paso del tiempo, las historias se convierten en Epopeyas, las Epopeyas en Mitos y finalmente los Mitos quedan enterrados con los años. Pero... Sólo Dios es Eterno. *** Descargo de responsabilidad: todos los personajes, escenarios, etc. públicamente reconocibles son propiedad de sus respectivos dueños. No se pretende infringir los derechos de autor. Está no es mi obra, sino una traducción de la obra china: 我就是神

Stefania Hayden es una mujer de 25 años con una vida aparentemente tranquila y feliz, pero con muchos secretos que provienen de un pasado tormentoso. Un pasado que volverá a su vida, gracias a su proyecto más codiciado pero que luego llegara con más fuerza, cuando ella comience a recordar cosas que había olvidado por culpa del accidente que sufrió hace diez años atrás. Recuerdos que la llevaran a investigar para descubrir verdades que le fueron negadas desde su infancia y que la llevaran hacer justicia, una justicia que no tuvo ni ella ni su madre en su momento y que gracias a la posición que tiene ahora podrá intentar conseguirlo. Pero su camino no será nada fácil, porque tendrá que enfrentar sus más profundos miedos y enfrentar a las personas que más le hicieron daño, en especial su verdadera familia. Dándose cuenta de que nadie es lo que parece, pero aún así, estará dispuesta hacer lo que sea necesario para que los culpables caigan sin imaginarse tampoco que el amor de su vida que conoció desde pequeña volverá a hacerse presenta y que al igual que ella, él sentía lo mismo o lo siente aún después de creerla muerta por diez años...

"Ayoko Mama! Dito lang ako. 'Tsaka Ma, sino 'yang bestfriend mong 'yan? Baka patayin din ako tulad ng ginawa mo sa akin kanina Mama," mariing tutol ko sa gusto ni Mama. "No, Dos. That's final. Nakausap ko na siya kanina at nagkasundo na kami. Ihahatid ka bukas ni Aya doon. Huwag kang mag-alala, mabait 'yon basta matino ka," sabay ngisi sa akin ni Mama. Ano kayang naghihintay kay Dos sa mansion kasama ang babaeng magpapatino sa kanya?

Osias wanted nothing more than to… live. Was such a wish too audacious to desire? Were the blood-born destined to live such tragic tales? Why, why did it feel as though he was forced to either bleed himself or spill the blood of others to live? Enough… he had enough. A pair of blood-born brothers were all that was left from the fallen Band of the Red Sky. Detestable blood-borns, vile spawn who were to be eradicated off the face of the Wailing Chain. So the Three Factions put aside their feuds in order to slaughter them all. Yet Osias and Kiran still live despite this — they still move forward to escape, fight, and survive as they are pursued. Alone, these two ghosts of a dreadful Band of blood born that flooded the south in blood will bide their time as they carry on the Path of Blood, inheriting all that was entrusted to them. The Wailing Chain was theirs for the taking. The Three Factions will suffer for what they’ve done to them. Armies will spill enough blood to raise a sea in the wake of the brothers' resentment. But not yet. The world wouldn’t bleed until Osias and Kiran obtained the strength required to do so. ----------------- What to expect: • Blood Powers • Dark Fantasy-esque • Wars, Armies, Power Progression • No System • Cruel, Grim World (First Chapter is enough…) • Smidges of romance • Anti-Hero Prog (Spoiler - nears villain) *The world of BTTVE has A LOT of secrets and plans that are not made available to the reader upfront. Try to enjoy the path to the answers - there's going to be a lot that you don't understand at first because there's a lot Osias doesn't know about the new world he's in! Also sorry for the POV changes in the first few chapters… the setting calls for it, there isn’t much to the beginning if we read it entirely from a cripple’s perspective.

"Miles," I said again, my voice a bit shaky now. "Why did you bring me here?" He turned to face me, his expression suddenly serious. He stepped closer, and I felt my back press against the cold wall behind me. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. "I like you," he whispered. My mind went blank. For a few seconds, I just stood there, staring at him, not sure if I had heard him right. Then, out of nowhere, I burst out laughing. It wasn’t that I didn’t take him seriously; I just didn’t know how else to react. Miles was not the type of person to confess his feelings like that. This had to be a joke, right? "Miles, you—" I started, but before I could finish, he grabbed me by the collar and kissed me. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. It was rough, almost desperate. I froze, my mind reeling. This couldn’t be happening. But it was. His lips were on mine, his body pressed against me. For a moment, I was too shocked to do anything, but then I shoved him away with all the strength I had left, my heart racing in my chest. "What the hell, Miles?" I shouted, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and confusion. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression calm, too calm. "I’m sorry," he said quietly. "It was just a joke." "The plot revolves around Miles and leo, two high school boys who were once friends but are now just strangers. But what happens when, one day, Miles kisses leo and tells him that he likes him? But it's just a joke....? What the heck! Leo didn't like this joke at all.

making you smile is top priority, smile always.

la historia trata sobre Adán un chico que es un hombre común y corriente de un país latino cuando es asesino por unos policías corruptos y luego trasciende a un plano superior y termina viajando por diferentes mundos y multiversos para buscar el que mejor con venga..

Ye Feng transmigrated into a parallel world where there were few games and obtained the game production system. As long as the players gave a "super difficult" rating, he could improve his game production ability, However, seeing the "very easy" comments on the game forum, Ye Feng was shocked, and he descended to the alternate world with the ninth art. "Getting Over It With Bennett Ford", "Undead Cells", "Bleedborne", "Sekiro"... A series of games was born. He would like to see who dared to say that these games were very simple! Admit it, rookies. It's all because you suck！ However, players whose confidence was shattered by these games still firmly moved the cursor to that option! "Very easy!"

oh no! [Insert name here] has just died! already content with his death he awaited whatever is beyond death's door maybe he'll encounter the pearly gates or find the deepest pits of hell, however suddenly he was hit with a curve ball Reincarnation! Reborn anew [NAME] was lost as to his purpose however he soon heard his new name and threw it all away. "Rimuru Tempest" Im going to have so much fun! Unfortunately Rimuru is still a baby, so the most he could do is play with blocks. however good news! Rimuru has reincarnated into the MHA world! Multiversal character inside a low level world how fun! Wait... why are my abilities so a weak? dont tell me.... Nononono No wait please! Don't do this to me! (WARNING: Rimuru in this Novel is heavily nerfed, don't expect a power fantasy. This story doesn't take itself very seriously. I am a rookie writer, I cant make miracles happen.) PSST... It's no harem.... but you haven't heard it from me... shush shush ******** (I've never tried writing in my whole life this idea just popped into my mind and hasn't let got) not my characters or story I do not own any of the property used in this story. all of the content in this story is very much unoriginal.

Love is better to be shown and not to be hidden ..

Ding… Binding successful. 'Congratulations host for successfully binding the system “World Peace”. From now on, you would be assigned tasks in different worlds for both of our welfare. After successfully completing each task you will receive rewards and if you fail, I will run out of energy, then we are both doomed.' … She went silent for a while after hearing the words “World Peace”. Her lips twitched, trying to hold back a smile. But whatever this entity said was a very concise explanation, nonetheless, without too many complications. … “System?” 'Yes host? If you require supplemental information, you can ask now. And you can talk to me in your mind, no need to speak out loud.' The system replied immediately. 'How shall I address you? Are you a “He” or a “She”?' She asked with trepidation. “…” The system was speechless. *** (Note: This is an original story and the update schedule is one chapter per week.)

　We always think that if we could go back to the past, had our time again, we could make the difference and control our destiny. 　But you have to believe that all meetings and departures have their own reasons.　　 As the long years pass, we finally get used to no longer having each other, living alone in our own worlds, no longer yearning so much, and no longer feeling so many regrets. 　If one day, we meet again at a corner of the city, will we still recognize each other, the person we once loved so deeply at first sight? No one knows. We always think that if lord gives us another chance, allowing us to go back to the past, to start over, we can correct our mistakes, control our fate, and have our time again, not realizing that in the myriad of timelines, we may have already reached a fork of the destiny, we have been losing each other. Everything that will happen, will happen eventually. So let's move forward, because that's our life.