Fatty And Skinny Jokes

Eighty years ago, an alien war broke out in Earth’s orbit. A powerful fugitive known as Tree was pursued by an extraterrestrial force. In the battle’s aftermath, the fugitive’s heart merged with Earth’s core, giving rise to a massive tree—marking the dawn of superpowers. Awakening. A phenomenon where humans gained extraordinary abilities. Seventeen years later, nearly everyone had awakened… except a few. Those who failed were called Rejecters, the lowest in society. Zane Carter was born into infamy. The son of a fallen superhero-turned-supervillain, he faced discrimination from birth. He dreamed of being a hero, but his father’s sins made him an outcast. Even after rigorous training, his Awakening failed. Rejected by the Hero Academy, ridiculed, and cast aside—his fate seemed sealed. Until one day… [SYSTEM ACTIVATED] Welcome, User. You have been selected as the recipient of the Borderline Supervillain-Slash-Hero System. Generate your first skill? Y/N With his newfound system, Zane is given a choice: become the hero they never wanted him to be… or the villain they always feared.

In a world on the brink of cataclysmic change, a young girl named Gerda finds her simple life shattered by a mysterious celestial event. Thrust into a chaotic and dangerous new reality, she must navigate the ruins of a fallen civilization and confront the unsettling transformations taking place within herself. As Gerda journeys through a subterranean world of survivors, she encounters both benevolent and malevolent forces, each vying for control in the wake of global devastation. She must learn to harness her burgeoning powers while grappling with the loss of her past and the uncertainty of her future. Amidst the struggle for survival, Gerda's path intertwines with a cast of enigmatic characters, each possessing unique abilities and motivations. Together, they must face a threat that could reshape the very fabric of their existence, a threat that transcends the boundaries of human comprehension. Gerda's story is a thrilling exploration of resilience, transformation, and the enduring power of hope in the face of unimaginable darkness.

You want to kill me, don’t you, Mikhail? Mikhail’s eyes darkened. “That’s what I’m supposed to want. But I can’t.” In the shadows of a war-torn Romania, werewolves and vampires vie for dominance. But when Mikhail, the ruthless werewolf warrior, meets Andrea, the vampire lord’s daughter with a dark secret, an unexpected bond forms. As prophecies unravel and loyalties shift, can they prevent an all-out war – or are they doomed to become its very heart?

When the Grey Mist covers the earth, the miasma corrupts the creatures, and the threads manipulate the minds of others, those red eyes will rest upon humanity and the very order of the world will go mad. Humans will fade into the background, clinging to life as they always have. In the first era, someone stayed. In the second era, someone woke up. In the third era, someone will rise again and again. Let the steam roar! Let the ancient technology shine! Let the battle between humanity and the anomalies, the oddities, the contamination zones never cease! May my Pneuma allow me to take this mortal body to challenge these beings! May my axe resonate with my heart! In the end, only humanity will remain, by hook or by crook! ------------------------- Cover made using AI. English is my second language and I'm using Grammarly for thoses mistakes I didn't see, so, if you notice one, comment, please! I will be posting this story on RoyalRoad.com

Neon and Longing is an urban tale of self-discovery and heartache set against the pulsating backdrop of a modern metropolis. The story follows Lena, a young woman who leaves behind a small-town life in pursuit of a dazzling career and the excitement of city living. Amid the luminous glow of neon signs and the endless rhythm of urban nights, Lena is drawn into a world of glamour, ambition, and fleeting connections. As she navigates her new environment, Lena encounters both the breathtaking promise of success and the stark realities of isolation in a city that never sleeps. Her journey is marked by moments of unexpected romance, challenging betrayals, and profound introspection. While the city offers a canvas of opportunities and dreams, it also forces her to confront her inner void—a deep-seated longing for genuine connection and meaning beyond superficial allure. In the heart of urban chaos, Lena learns that the neon lights, though mesmerizing, cannot mask the truths of loneliness and the quest for identity. With every twist of fate, she discovers that real fulfillment comes not from the glittering facades of modern life but from embracing vulnerability, forging sincere relationships, and daring to be authentically herself. "Neon and Longing" is a reflective exploration of the contrasts between ambition and inner peace, capturing the delicate dance of modern femininity in a relentlessly vibrant world.

In a world where wealth and power reign supreme, Alice, a beautiful and spirited young woman, finds herself trapped in a loveless engagement with Alex, a ruthless and cunning billionaire. Her parents, eager to secure their family's financial future, have arranged the union without regard for Alice's feelings or desires. Desperate to escape the suffocating grip of her impending marriage, Alice flees to another city, hoping to start anew. There was no way she could get married to the very man who took her innocence. But Alex, determined to claim her as his own, tracks her down and forcibly brings her back to his opulent mansion. Once there, Alice is subjected to the cruel whims of Alex's mother, Stacy, who views her as a threat to their family's legacy. As Alice struggles to adapt to her new surroundings, she finds herself imprisoned and maltreated, with Stacy stopping at nothing to break her spirit. Yet, despite Alex's icy exterior and reputation for ruthlessness, he begins to show a soft spot for Alice, revealing glimpses of a complex and vulnerable personality beneath his tough facade. As they spend more time together, Alice finds herself torn between her growing feelings for Alex and her desire for freedom and independence. As tensions escalate and Stacy's cruelty reaches new heights, Alice must confront the darkness of her own past and the secrets that haunt Alex's family. Will she find a way to escape the gilded cage that holds her captive, or will she succumb to the treacherous allure of Alex's world?

The door slammed. I did not know what to do. I try to quite my breathe as I hear the sound of hoofed steps stirring through the darkness of the halls. I didn't mean for this to happen, it was expose to be for a laugh or two, but now there was no laughing to be heard. - Hello future reader, this is the author! This story is something I wanted to do for fun, so there will most likely not be any regular uploads of chapters, but I hope you'll enjoy my work! - Happy reading!

Donovan and Zoephie's relationship is like the four seasons: winter, where life is never within reach, and as they search for it, their loneliness and struggle prolong like Fall. Together, will they reach Spring while racing through Summer?

"In the nothingness, a place that both exists and does not exist, a being sits." This void, this paradoxical space, appears to be both real and unreal, a realm where existence and non-existence intertwine, blurring the line between what is and what isn't.

'Dreams can be real. Nightmares can be real. Angels can be real. Demons can be real.' Pleasure is for everyone. But how can you enjoy it when you discover the truth that a demon was pleasuring you? Elysee Torres, a simple woman who wished for a simple and happy life until her curiosity led her to a demon who wanted to pleasure her everytime she closed her eyes. Valor, a hot guy with a perfect body-an Incubus who liked to pleasure women in their dreams. Two different creatures will meet and will face every challenges in order to prove to everyone that their love is not forbidden. Even if they are fighting between life and death or even the world is against them, they will not surrender. Until the end of their lives, they will fight their love no matter what consequences awaits them. They will face the hardest trial of their life together.

Imprisoned for thousands of years, Asuren Nightgloom, from out of the blue, had been set free. Sleeping for almost a hundred years, Thea Gailbreeze, at long last, had been awakened. Both had the same mission. Save the Fairy Realm. They messed up before and ended up in that grave situation. Now that they got out of their confinement, they vowed to finish their disrupted mission. Will they be stronger together and save the Fairy Realm? Or will they burden one another and mess up one more time?

Guys here is my pitch..... In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the "cheat system" doesn’t quite… cheat? Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird. To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos. Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential. John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool. But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded. Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline. Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure. Of course No-harem!

Alexander Blackwood had it all—wealth, power, and influence—but the one thing he couldn’t seem to have was a child. For two years, he believed the medical reports that blamed him for the struggle. Meanwhile, his wife, Diana, harboured a devastating secret—she was infertile. And the reports? Falsified, thanks to Dr Joshua, her secret lover. Then came Rose, Diana’s younger sister—beautiful, confident, and utterly irresistible. What started as fleeting temptation spiralled into something forbidden, and soon, Rose was carrying Alex’s child. But Alex wasn’t supposed to be able to conceive… was he? A second opinion shattered the deception—he wasn’t the problem. Digging deeper, he uncovered the real reports. Diana had lied. And now, she was desperate. When bribing Joshua to terminate the pregnancy failed, she turned to something darker—abduction. She had Rose taken, determined to erase the evidence of her betrayal. But Diana underestimated Alex. With the help of Captain Patrick, the search for Rose intensified. Meanwhile, the kidnappers, plagued with guilt, set Rose free. Once safe, Rose exposed everything. The authorities closed in, and Diana was finally caught. But she refused to fall alone. In a desperate move, she exposed Joshua’s crimes, dragging him down with her. Justice was swift. Diana and Joshua faced the consequences of their deception. And as for Alex and Rose? They were free to embrace their future, their love, and the child that was never meant to be.

Just some random fanfiction

Updates @15:00 and 16:00 (+8) Wood chopping might not be the best way to meet your Party Leader, but for Icarus, meeting Basila offered him a new life. Now, armed with a system, he can choose a path of riches! The Path of the Smuggler. The Path of the Dungeon Merchant! But control is tight in the lands of the elves. Adventurers are outlawed, executions are swift and without a trial. Good thing that Icarus is a horselord and Basila is a businesswoman! For them, the word NO is just the word YES spelled wrong! And may the Winds of Change blow the stagnation which is suffocating their country away!

Pahitnya hidup telah mematri seorang anak muda bernama William Tamin hingga ia menjadi seorang anak jalanan yang berandalan dan menjadi seseorang yang amat ditakuti oleh berbagai kalangan masyarakat sehingga dirinya dijuluki sebagai "Monster from the Hell". Namun siapa sangka suatu hari ia akan bertemu dengan seorang siswi SMA yang berparas anggun dan cantik bernama Yuri Namari, yang akhirnya menjadi sosok yang paling ditakuti oleh William, seorang wanita yang tidak pernah sekalipun merasa takut akan dirinya yang begitu menakutkan seperti yang ditakuti oleh orang - orang di sekitarnya. Namun, itu bukan semata - mata karena Yuri merupakan putri bangsawan yang kaya raya, melainkan ada sesuatu yang amat berharga terpancar dari dalam dirinya yang membuat sang monster menjadi takluk, dan pertemuan mereka di jalanan yang semakin intens menuntun mereka berjalan terlalu jauh hingga keduanya harus terjebak pada sebuah masa lalu yang begitu kelam. Siapakah sebenarnya Yuri di masa lalu William? Rahasia besar apa yang tidak pernah mereka ketahui sebelumnya dan apakah rahasia ini akan menjadi sebuah bumerang atau bom waktu yang akan menghancurkan diri keduanya?

A young man finds his way through a world revolving around taming and evolving beasts while steadily fighting against the evils of the world.

A very short love story of delinquent girl and optimistic boy who keep crossing paths on the way home

A World of survival, where Nations must slay each other in order to survive. There can only be one. And there is only one way for it to end; War, Murder, and bloodshed. Ikem is thrust into this world, without any memories whatsoever. He is forced to navigate a world were all threatens to devour the him; the weak, and empower the strong. A dog eat dog world. And without any knowledge of his background he is forced to start from scratch, without aid. Well, not really.... Not nearly so....

In a world where technology and magic collide, Kael, a brilliant but disillusioned engineer, finds himself thrust into an extraordinary adventure after a catastrophic experiment tears open the fabric of reality. Awakening in a realm where ancient spells and mythical creatures reign supreme, Kael discovers that he is no longer bound by the laws of his old world. Instead, he is now part of a mysterious "System"—a sentient force that grants individuals unique abilities, quests, and the power to shape their destiny. Stranded in this unfamiliar land, Kael must navigate a delicate balance between the advanced knowledge of his past and the arcane forces of his present. Armed with his engineering skills and a newfound ability to manipulate energy, he embarks on a journey to uncover the secrets of the System and the dark forces that seek to exploit it. Along the way, he forms alliances with warriors, mages, and rogues, each with their own motivations and secrets. As Kael delves deeper into this world, he learns that the System is more than just a tool for power—it is a gateway to unimaginable possibilities and dangers. A looming threat emerges: a shadowy faction intent on merging technology and magic to dominate both realms. Kael must master the synergy between science and sorcery to prevent the destruction of both worlds, all while grappling with the ethical dilemmas of power, control, and the true cost of progress.

In a world of the unknown, past unknown and future in chaos, with Three woman fighting for their stories, lives and pain Calah, Anne and Morgan. A war of Passion, love and transgression with mysteries of the dark following

Heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating with his colleague on Valentine's Day, Anya impulsively proposes to a stranger in a fit of rage. The stranger, a charming and enigmatic man, accepts her proposal without hesitation. As Anya grapples with the consequences of her impulsive decision, she discovers that her "husband" is not just a random passerby, but someone with a mysterious and powerful connection to her life. He's not just a stranger; he's her boyfriend's boss, a man known for his wealth and influence, but who has kept his true identity hidden from Anya. Now, trapped in a web of lies and deceit, Anya must navigate the treacherous waters of her unexpected marriage while uncovering the truth about her "husband" and his hidden agenda.

Every Cultivation transmigrator would begin their journey with ignorance. Ye Chen, who was originally from Earth, unexpectedly transmigrated to the Fantasy world after crashing with Truck-Kun. Of course, like every Protagonist, he had a gold finger with a female seductive spirit in an ancient ring. But he also had many mysteries hidden beneath him, as he discovered on his great adventure. This was our protagonist's first journey: every attractive female fell over him with simply his sight, but there was another person. This pig-featured man was maliciously reincarnated into this fantasy world with the appearance of a third-rate villain, and he snatched all of the heroines as our protagonist flirted with other females. This story will be the epic clash between the Transmigrator and Reincarnator....... Tags- #Netori #Dark

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"

Lucy woke up as endora the illegitimate child of the herman household, with little memory of her past.there she meets her handmaid nina. once she realized who she is now,she discided to live the life God has given her as Endora de herman. over a month of living as Endora, it was time for the storyline to start in the academy of " STARDUST MAGIC ACADEMY", where the heroine met the first protagonist "ERIC DA FRANCIA"of the grand Duke household.who was mistreated from a young age till adulthood with the care and love given to him by scarlet,he become obsessed with scarlet.He wanted scarlet as his at all means including killing her family resulting to scarlet hating Eric, at that process she meet "KELVIN DE OLI" the young prince who's mother was killed by the empress.there he hold hate and grudges against the royal family, he meet scarlet and fall in love at first sight.

"From now on, you can stay in this room and live the rest of your life here for all I care," were the words that condemned Li Na to a lifetime of isolation and despair at the hands of her own family. Betrayed by her sister, Li Jing, who injected her with a lethal dose of poison, Li Na's world faded into darkness, filled with a deep sense of sadness and betrayal. But fate had a different plan for Li Na. Instead of the expected descent into the afterlife, she found herself transported to a new existence, her younger self staring back at her from the mirror. Overwhelmed by this inexplicable rebirth, tears welled in her eyes as she made a solemn vow to herself: to seek justice and make her family pay for the pain they had inflicted upon her. As Li Na battles with the struggles of her past, a new surprise awaits. … With their faces just an inch apart, he softly asked her, "Do you trust me?" tracing her lips with one finger, lightly.  With a quivering smile, she nodded and whispered, "Yes, I trust you." To her Tang Zheng was the light sent by the heavens to shed her tears away. As Li Na embraces this new chapter of her life, a veil of mystery envelopes her path. The shadows whisper, and destiny's secrets slowly unveil, shaping Li Na's fate in ways she never imagined.