Elephant Jokes

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

Have you heard of the jester and his king ? Apparently, the emperor couldn't take the cosmic joke. So he beheaded himself, leaving the crown for the clown to wear. Set eons after the grand apocalypse where Mother Nature deemed humans as parasites. All the continents merged into a Pangea island called Methuselah, where the symbol of status and power are arcane capabilities Called Qualia. In a coastal city facing the dangers of a mad sea. Rei Atlas, a fisherman, awakens his qualia abilities. But, they have negative value. How can the system handle such an anomaly?

Xie Long couldn't be unluckier than anyone. Fate played a cruel joke on him as he was found with no ability to cultivate. Calamity struck his family when he was least prepared. He could only watch with endless fury and despair as his loved ones got slaughtered one by one. As death was about to embrace him, his fortune shone as he activated a treasure, his father had left him with. Follow Xie Long as he slaughtered through his enemies and established himself as the Overlord of the starry sky. His rule, ''Follow me and prosper, defy me and die.''

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Sage, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

Richard Cross never believed in ghosts—until the night he saw one with his own eyes. Ever since his parents’ brutal murder, strange things have followed him, lurking just out of sight. Now, at 17, he wants nothing more than an ordinary life, skipping school, dodging teachers, and joking with his best friend. But when a chance encounter pulls him into the world of spirits, exorcists, and ancient powers, Richard realizes he can no longer ignore the truth. Bound to a mysterious entity with glowing blue flames, Richard and his small group of friends must uncover the secrets of the unseen world, facing ghosts that defy logic and enemies that blur the line between man and monster. As he hones his abilities, Richard will learn that the dead are restless for a reason—and some secrets refuse to stay buried.

Bai Fan was a Chinese medical university student who woke up as a Japanese high school student named Kitagawa Tera about half a month ago. It was just like a typical starting point in a novel. He re-experienced life as a high school student in his twenties. Youthful, energetic girls, and colorful love comedies…That should have been the original plot… However, heaven was obviously playing a joke on Bai Fan as he had not inherited any memories of the original Kitagawa Tera. Follow the level-headed and cold Kitagawa Teru as he navigated around his new world with the ‘System’ that constantly gave him supernatural quests to clear.

Mr. Fu of Harbor City positions himself with one foot in Harbor City and the other in Macau City, capable of manipulating situations with just his hands. Harbor City's gossip tabloids exposed that Mr. Fu has a secret wife. Known for his romantic involvements, Mr. Fu has liaisons with beauty pageant winners, models, and socialites. The entire Harbor City jokes about how his wife would be kicked out of the Fu family by any means necessary. In the first year, an unprecedented snowfall in June took over Harbor City, dubbed by the press as a grand gesture from the boss to make his wife smile. The second year, the press captured Mr. Fu arguing with his wife in the streets looking upset. People speculated their relationship was nearing its end. However, the next day, he was seen clinging to his wife's legs, crying, fussing, and showing affection. The third year, rumors were rampant that Mr. Fu and his wife had been living separately for six months, and a divorce was imminent. Soon after, a major announcement from the Fu family shocked the city. Mr. Fu was delighted by the birth of a precious son. While everyone congratulated him, Mr. Fu's expression was gloomy: not having embraced one for three years, he realized he was duped!

At the movie premiere, a curious reporter notices the marks on Xia Siyu’s neck. “What’s that?” Xia Siyu flicks her hair carelessly. “A mosquito bit me.” After returning home, Bo Yan pins her against the wall, his voice teasing yet dangerous. “A mosquito? Do I need to bite you again?” Xia Siyu gains weight easily and is always fat shamed with words like being “as fat as a pregnant woman”. One day, she is mocked so harshly that she appears on the top searches. While everyone thinks of it as another joke, the movie star, Bo Yan, replies unexpectedly, “Thank you for your well wishes! Our baby is already three months old.”

Under everyone's gaze, her pregnant sister came to force a marriage, making her the butt of the joke, after being cheated on. When she was at her wit's end, she met him —— Jun Mochan, the business tycoon. He said: "Marry me, I won't betray you." In order to shut off the wagging tongues and avoid becoming a bargaining chip in a family alliance, She said: "Okay" But, wasn't it agreed that it would be a fake marriage? He loves her deeply. The whole world knows it, only she doesn't.

A kidnapping shattered Sophia Diaz's innocence; the wealthy heiress who once dreamed of becoming a pastry chef never imagined she would fall into the hands of a demon who would change her world forever. Capone, who grew up amidst life-and-death shootouts, considered love a luxury and a joke. She was a toy for his amusement and a tool for his revenge, yet she unleashed a storm of bloodshed throughout his Mafia empire. With a simple deal, she finally won her freedom, believing their paths would never cross again. But he reappeared like a ghost, crashing her wedding, tearing her dress to shreds and destroying everything. Separated by gratitude, resentment and deep-seated enmity, he watched her disappear into the vast sea with his own eyes...

"Call me Limit Breaker, aka Mr. Testosterone. That kid Mike Ragnick had it rough, but I'm not like that. You bet I always stand on business. Now, I’m the captain of this boat, and no one’s sailing the ship but me. And you know I’ve got the gains to back it up, always grinding out on that extra set. Cultivators? Lame. Martial artists? Not impressed. Awakened? Nah, I win. Gods, demons, and celestials? A joke—I step on them with one foot. No concept of 'diff'. This isn’t arrogance or overconfidence. I’m simply better. I’d bet a fortune you’ve never seen a physique like this—one that transcends the universe. No steroids, no implants. 100% natural."

I once believed I was the heroine of a modern fairytale, blessed with beauty, wealth, intelligence, and a powerful legacy. Men adored me, women envied me, and I was engaged to the most desirable man, Cole Fay. My life seemed perfect, a dream where I held the starring role. But on my eighteenth birthday, that illusion crumbled. The truth hit me hard: I wasn't the protagonist, nor even the villain or a side character. I was just cannon fodder, a disposable part of someone else's story. But when fate recognized the cruel joke of my life, I was granted a second chance. This time, I'll write my own story, living for myself. And this time . . . I will never love you again.

Su Mo, a young man of the modern times, transmigrated to the world of martial arts. The sole survivor of the declining Su family, he inherited the Purple Sun Escort Company, a courier service that was on the brink of collapse. Su Mo was determined to restore the family business to its former glory, but he was young and inexperienced. And the martial arts world was fraught with dangers and intrigues! Unexpectedly, a system popped up that rewarded him each time he completed a courier mission. With this reward system, Su Mo entered an unprecedented realm. He mastered the Dragon Elephant Wisdom Technique which transformed his internal Qi and gave him boundless energy and stamina to accomplish his missions. Still, troubles came knocking on his door as he embarked on his missions, from escorting a benign scholar to delivering a mysterious brocade box for a dying man. Could Su Mo avoid getting tangled in other people's affairs? And would he survive the storms and gain a foothold in the treacherous martial arts world?

Tang Lin, a descendant of the Tang family, lives the life of a wealthy person and when her uncle comes to visit after a year of going abroad, he reminds her of her childhood husband. She got “married” to a little boy when she was younger. Their parents and Tang Lin meant it as a funny joke, however, the man intended to marry her for the rest of his life. Lu Shen, Tang Lin’s childhood husband, is the CEO of the Lu Group and he is the wealthiest man in the capital.

**"When a cosmic glitch turns a biryani-loving teen into the god of a broken universe, he’ll need more than divine powers to survive his own creations—including a goddess who hates him, sentient pasta, and a black hole that runs on dad jokes."**

Troy a disabled teen gets injected with a mysterious serum that gives him supernatural powers, how will he overcome challenges to save his loved one? Sixteen-year-old Troy Tillsman has spent half his life in a wheelchair, cracking jokes to hide the ache of feeling invisible. But when his enigmatic nurse, Nina Hosihima, injects him with a glowing green serum, Troy’s world explodes—literally. The serum awakens Esper abilities, the ability to command his body and things around him. Now, Troy is a Proto Esper: part of a dying breed of superhumans forged by the serum’s unstable magic. His new gifts come at a cost—every use fractures his body, threatening to kill him. Dragged into Bastion, a shadowy organization protecting espers, Troy joins a ragtag team of survivors: a pyrokinetic with a temper, a telekinetic showman, and a geo-kinetic war vet with a sword. Together, they’re humanity’s last defense against the Pendragon Family, a ruthless dynasty mass-producing superpowered soldiers. But Nina’s secrets haunt him. Was she his savior, or a traitor who doomed him? As Troy’s powers grow, so does the target on his back. To survive, he must master the storm inside him—before it tears him apart. Proto Esper is a high-stakes thrill ride where disability meets divinity, loyalty wars with betrayal, and the cost of power is measured in breaths. What would you sacrifice to fly—when every second in the air could be your last?

Xiao Yi was originally a master of alchemy in the Profound Medical Sect. By accident, he died and his soul possessed a down - and - out young man in Haicheng City. He was reborn in a traditional Chinese medicine clinic. The long - lost unique skill of the Four - Elephant Acupuncture Method reappeared in the world, and all kinds of miraculous elixirs shocked the people. The master roamed freely in the city and returned to his former peak!

Drake was a troublemaker with a knack for bad jokes. One of them got him killed. Now, he finds himself in Atheria, a world of magic, mythical creatures, and warring Gods. Equipped with the mysterious System of Chaos—a game-like interface that grants him skills, stats, and quests—Drake must learn to survive in this dangerous new reality. But his arrival hasn't gone unnoticed. The Gods, offended by his irreverent attitude and fearful of his unique system, have marked him for death. To live peacefully (and maybe get some payback), Drake will have to embrace his chaotic nature, master his newfound powers, and challenge the very beings who rule Atheria.

"I think am in love with Ishtar's husband," Nadia Browne said suddenly, and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

A hero or villain let the fate decide - Witness the journey of a manipulative , narcissistic and scheming protagonist who wants his desire to be fulfilled no matter how. Li Chen beginning his journey from a mortal clearing his path to become at the top of everything eliminating everyone who comes in his way. _______________ Warning: Strong violence and mature content. -->Some scenes may not be liked by all people so just take those as air and move to main story. -->Love is just a waste of time so, no time wasted on those things to develop deep relationship with every female character. -->Our protagonist is an evil so don't consider it as a joke tag. Warning: This work is purely fiction, and it does not promote any kind of violence against any living being. Please read with caution. _______ Support and enjoy the Journey................................

[WARNING: MATURE CONTENT] In the shadows of the day, Milane toils under a mean boss, but the night brings a breathtaking twist. For when the sun sets, he becomes her submissive, obedient to her every whim. ===== -DAYTIME- "Milane, must you stomp around like a herd of elephants? My office is not a circus!" Lucas's booming voice echoed down the hallway.. "Of course, Mr. Leedon," Milane replied, her voice a model of professional composure. -NIGHTTIME- "Oh, Master M, please unleash your power upon me. Trample me under your heels, for I am but dust beneath your feet," pleaded Lu, an obedient servant. "Dust? More like a filthy rag. But if that's your desire," Master M retorted. ===== Caught in a whirlwind of exasperating workdays, Milane's grip on her sanity was slipping, held back from quitting by financial constraints. In a desperate bid to escape the stress, she took on an unconventional alter ego online – a BDSM master who commanded attention and cash. By night, she reveled in this secret persona, calling the shots and satisfying desires. In the hidden corners of the digital world, her path collided with Lu's, a submissive seeking guidance. Their connection ignited, weaving a web of shared secrets and indulgent fantasies. Unbeknownst to Milane, Lu was Lucas, her high-handed boss. The question sizzles in the air: Who will unearth the truth first? ==== New Book: "Mermaid Sugarbabe" This is a tale of a young mermaid who ventures onto land in pursuit of Merland's lost treasure. Yet, destiny takes an unexpected turn when she unintentionally enters into a contract to become the sugar baby of Max Luthers, the mafia king!

In the world to come, making oneself at home in a virtual realm has woven itself into the fabric of the daily grind. Online games flourishing within this digital hinterland have caught on like wildfire. It's a rare soul who hasn't caught a whisper about the mighty and their terrestrial habits and hedonism. Yet now, as life in the virtual sphere - especially within these burgeoning games - gains momentum, new titans rise within this electronic escapade. One wonders, do their existences diverge from those ensconced in real-world influence? Watch the journey of our protagonist who, through a gauntlet of trials and time, has eased into a leisurely existence as one of the esteemed five lord atop a thriving metropolis, in a community of a billion players. Though obstacles and thorns of various kinds laid in his path, he overcame them all. *** The original is in Thai, and as the writer of the original, I attempted to translate it as closely as possible. I use AI to help with the initial translation and then revise it one more time, but I only managed to achieve about 80% of what I expected. Not to mention grammar, just trying to translate jokes, idioms, proverbs, etc. so that foreigners can understand is very difficult.

Pure instinct to aid the weak. A noble impulse, right? My 'sin,' or perhaps my supreme stupidity, was trying to save a woman and her daughter from a brutal death. In the heat of the skirmish, a moment of carelessness cost me a gunshot. And then, the ironic confirmation of an old suspicion: the God of this world finds amusement in fallen heroes. Just as the darkness was claiming me, a strange phenomenon tore me from its jaws... only to throw me into the body of a noble baby, a child born with privileges, yes, but also with a curse. Lucien Whiteheart, his parents' fifth attempt at having an heir, was a doomed body. A grotesque curse denied them descendants, and now, I, a trapped soul, faced a premature death at the hands of enemies I never provoked. A blessing or a cruel joke of fate? I’ll find out, if I survive.

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating with his colleague on Valentine's Day, Anya impulsively proposes to a stranger in a fit of rage. The stranger, a charming and enigmatic man, accepts her proposal without hesitation. As Anya grapples with the consequences of her impulsive decision, she discovers that her "husband" is not just a random passerby, but someone with a mysterious and powerful connection to her life. He's not just a stranger; he's her boyfriend's boss, a man known for his wealth and influence, but who has kept his true identity hidden from Anya. Now, trapped in a web of lies and deceit, Anya must navigate the treacherous waters of her unexpected marriage while uncovering the truth about her "husband" and his hidden agenda.

Tokyo is on edge. A group of terrorists has taken over a massive shopping mall, holding innocent people hostage. The police surround the building, prepared for a long standoff—until the Hero Association arrives. In minutes, a team of elite heroes wipes out the criminals without breaking a sweat. The crowd cheers. The media swarms them for interviews. The heroes smile, crack jokes, and disappear into the night. But not everyone is celebrating. Behind closed doors, the police are furious. The heroes are acting above the law, killing criminals on sight. No arrests. No trials. Just bodies. The police commissioner warns that if this continues, traditional law enforcement will be useless. A cynical detective agrees, but there’s nothing they can do. The world sees the heroes as saviors—but what if they’re just another kind of monster? Meanwhile, in a quiet part of Saitama, high school student Kuroshi Watarabe wakes up from a terrifying nightmare—flames, screams, and a city burning to ashes. But it was just a dream… right? He pushes the thoughts aside and heads to school, where he’s just a regular third-year student, joking with his friends and dodging promises to treat them to food. But that night, everything changes.

Suddenly transported to ancient times, struggling to even get enough to eat? What’s this? Men are dwindling due to war, and the government assigns me a beautiful wife with orders to have a child by next year? And now, foreign invaders are threatening the heartland? No problem! Mastering math, physics, and chemistry means I can thrive anywhere! The unstoppable cavalry of the steppes? The indestructible warships of the pirates? A joke! With knowledge as my weapon, I’ll turn the tide and reshape history!

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"

When the bell rang, there was a dispute in the classroom due to crowded seats. Xiao Bai pushed my desk and I couldn't sit back. The head teacher came and I joked about "townhouses", but it was still difficult to return to my seat. After my explanation, the head teacher organized the whole class to move tables and chairs, and finally solved the problem. After that, the class atmosphere improved, and this incident became a unique campus memory for me.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can. 11/21/24 I only just noticed that the webnovel reader changes my formatting. I was using an extra space between paragraphs to denote a scene change. Please leave a comment if you find any confusing parts. 11/30/24 I'm going on a trip I've been planning for a while in a couple days. I will try to keep writing and publishing while I'm away, but I expect a slower pace. 12/22/24 I've had some technical and creative difficulties writing for the past few days. But I assure you, as long as people keep reading this and I don't get too many bad reviews, I will keep writing this.