Best Dark Humor Jokes

My price was taken from me. One thousand times they tried, one thousand times they failed, but their last time succeeded. I must get my revenge and I must get my... throne?" Once a warrior of light, a night of mindless slaughter forged him into darkness. Kingdoms, empires, and countries crumbled beneath his feet. His favorite battle became his demise, but he soon discovered the truth: he was cheated a thousand times. Now, with a second chance at life, he'll make them pay. The fall of kings will be nothing compared to his wrath. His price will be reclaimed, and his throne will be his.

He rose in the End of Dharma Era, and he shook the splendid era. The young Ye Fan, carrying the hopes of six billion people, set out from Earth, waged war in the Otherworld, trampled on skeletons, and made the Ten Thousand Clans tremble, finally ascending to the pinnacle of the universe, overlooking the Ten Thousand Realms! "Even if it takes going up to the Ninth Heaven or down to Netherworld, I will definitely defy heaven to snatch your life back for you!" — Ye Fan.

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"

Damian Blackwood is a billionaire with an insatiable appetite for pleasure. Every night, he surrounds himself with beautiful women, yet satisfaction remains elusive. His womanizing is fueled by loneliness, a void he tries to fill with wealth, power, and meaningless encounters. But no matter how many nights he spends indulging, something is always missing. Then, he meets Eve—a woman unlike any other. She’s confident, experienced, and knows exactly what a man needs. From the moment she walks into his world, she challenges him in ways no woman ever has. On a couch in the dim glow of his penthouse, she gives him a taste of something different—something unforgettable. What starts as a simple transaction turns into an obsession. Damian finds himself craving more than just her body—he wants her mind, her presence, her heart. But Eve isn’t looking for love, and she refuses to believe in fairy tales. She knows men like Damian—powerful, dangerous, and ultimately unattainable. As their connection deepens, Damian’s past resurfaces. A powerful enemy, Nathan Voss, is determined to destroy him, while Vanessa, a woman from his past, holds secrets that could shatter everything. When betrayal, danger, and hidden truths come to light, Damian and Eve must face the ultimate question—was their connection just passion, or is it something much more powerful? In a world of luxury, deception, and raw desire, Best on the Couch is a sizzling billionaire romance that proves love can come from the most unexpected places—and sometimes, the deepest bonds begin where you least expect them.

A boy Named Ray age 18 thought that he got betrayed by the girl who was his girlfriend but it was not the Bus crash and they both met God and Reincarnated in Another world and our he became and son of aristocrat as Hiroki Aldenridge and the the misunderstanding didn't solve and he gets an ancient power of a....what will be their fate wold they meet each other or he will still hate her he will kill all the people of an organization due to a certain reason he changes at the age of 7 he has get allied with all the kings and defeat all 3 continents of demon kings also and in the end will he become greatest, Assasin? And At the end may make a harem -this wn is written in simple words And because name is based on ability the story in not dark

In a world where most chase wealth and status, Omen stands apart. Once driven by the desire for power, he shifts his ambition towards an audacious goal: omniscience. He realises that to achieve the impossible, he must transform into an impossibility himself. Omen embarks on a harrowing journey, facing unimaginable trials—banishment, imprisonment, enslavement, and even death—in his relentless pursuit of knowledge. Each challenge strips away his humanity while sharpening his resolve, as he learns that true progress emerges when impossibility bends to necessity. But as Omen draws closer to his goal, he must confront the ultimate question: at what cost comes the pursuit of unattainable knowledge, and can he retain his sense of self in a quest to become something beyond human?

From being a sex slave to the mafia lord’s favourite, follow the story of Mina Angel, from being a sassy girl to the mafia lord princess. Aaron Vertercio, the mafia Lord took a liking to Mina, he’d do anything for Mina to be his sex slave, even if he had to make Mina and her sick mom homeless and suffer. “What, I woke up like this” Mina said. “ Go back and change princess!” Aaron growled “ Why?” Aaron walked towards her, the aura was enough to send a shiver down someone's spine Mina was slammed against the wall, and Aaron locked her in his arms “Remember this, you are mine and mine alone”.

TO ALL MY FANTASY MATES... ENJOY

When Ada's father is framed for a crime he didn't commit, she and her four best friends set out to find the truth. But as their investigation deepens, Ada begins to unravel shocking secrets about those closest to her. The tension rises when her feelings for Luke, one of her besties, become undeniable. They fight against their attraction and try to set some boundaries, however this only adds further complications to an already dangerous situation. The real turning point comes when betrayal strikes close to home. Nathan, a close friend she once had a crush on, reveals his feelings for her-feelings so strong that they prevent him from going through with a deadly mission. In the final confrontation, Ada is faced with a choice to kill him, but not before witnessing the tragic death of her cousin. The loss shakes her to the core and forces Ada to confront the truth about her family: they've secretly ruled the underworld for generations. This revelation sends Ada into a downward spiral, and with her family's fate hanging in the balance, she's pushed to embrace her darker side. Her softness could cost them all, and she learns that only by hardening her heart can she protect the ones she loves. Cold, ruthless and powerful, that's what she becomes. What she doesn't know is that this dark transformation will forever change her, and those around her, in ways she could never have predicted.

When Ada's father is framed for a crime he didn't commit, she and her four best friends set out to find the truth. But as their investigation deepens, Ada begins to unravel shocking secrets about those closest to her. The tension rises when her feelings for Luke, one of her besties, become undeniable. Though they fight against their attraction, they eventually give in, adding further complications to an already dangerous situation. The real turning point comes when betrayal strikes close to home. Nathan, a close friend she once had a crush on, reveals his feelings for her-feelings so strong that they prevent him from going through with a deadly mission. In the final confrontation, Ada is faced with a choice to kill him, but not before witnessing the tragic death of her cousin. The loss shakes her to the core and forces Ada to confront the truth about her family: they've secretly ruled the underworld for generations. This revelation sends Ada into a downward spiral, and with her family's fate hanging in the balance, she's pushed to embrace her darker side. Her softness could cost them all, and she learns that only by hardening her heart can she protect the ones she loves. The journey forces Ada to become someone unrecognizable-cold, determined, and powerful. What she doesn't know is that this dark transformation will forever change her, and those around her, in ways she could never have predicted.

Rule of seduction number four, set the stage and make sure it looks real, if you get caught up in your own web of lies all is lost. Walking past the said couple, accidentally my heels caught on the trail of my dress, and somehow I was in his arms, while half my wine glass emptied down the fine male specimen. Damn, what a waste of good wine. It would have done for other "coughs lightly", more sensual purpose. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Copyright Aquah-goddess Disclaimer: I do not own any of the pictures all credit goes to their rightful owner Warning: contains mature scenes enter at your own risk

He was a prince from the biggest kingdom in the Andromeda Continent.His family was the Holy Knight descendants who had killed the dark king. A mysterious accident took his father's life and cursed him with the dark power, making everyone doubt his identity. His uncle treated him as a war puppet even forcing him to relinquish his right to the king's throne and his cousin treated him like his nemesis. Feeling guilty for his father's death he decided to give his blind loyalty to his kingdom and accidentally fell in love with an unknown woman. But after all, things started going well, he was accused of rebelling and was cruelly executed. A dark power revived him, but he was not the same person they once knew. This time he would rise again not only as a king but a king among the kings that conquered the land... _________ >This is love at first sight, but also a slow burn romance (Romance subplot) >The story mostly about the MC's internal struggle >Please expect a lot of battle and fighting scenes as well as some political maneuvers in this story >The MC is cold for romance and mostly act by his status as a royalty >His past play a big role please be patient >This is not eye for an eye type of story Discord chanel: https://discord.gg/mSRHyMVhnG Cover by Commission Aleena Mao from Pixiv -------------- Other works: *The Incubus System *Dragon King's Harem *Seven Sins System *Demon Lord's Succubus (Completed)

Ginny Green, an aromantic nerd, accidentally slept with the infamous campus Princess, Persephone Campbell, but she can't remember. ** Ginny Green is an aromantic nerd who only believes that love only exists in movies and novels, but still wishes to find that special someone even though she's thinking that it's impossible. After she got drunk at a party, she found herself tangled in bed with the infamous campus Princess, Persephone Campbell. Persephone Campbell is an extremely attractive, charismatic, misjudged individual due to her wealthy background. Deemed by the people as coldhearted and a snob, but she's totally the opposite. She fell in love with Ginny after their faithful night together and would love to start a relationship with her. But there is a problem, Ginny is aromantic and doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. Now, Persephone is on a mission to make the aromantic nerd fall in love with her. ** "You're not going to run away and walk out of this room and pretend that this didn't happen, are you?" In every accidental one-night stand, of course, that thought is not an option anymore. Embrace each other at night like long-time lovers, and in the morning, shrug off every memory like it never happened. That's always been the case. And of course, that was Ginny's initial plan after assessing the situation. But looking at Persephone's threatening, yet smiling face, she knows well how screwed up she was. Let's just laugh first. "N-no, I wasn't thinking of that at all." "Good." Persephone smiled, satisfied with her answer. She gingerly moves closer to Ginny, wrapping both of her arms around her waist. Ginny can't seem to utter a single word. Seeing a naked Persephone in front of her was... was... was - she doesn't even have any words to describe it. ** OTHER STORIES: Too Gay for You: You Give me Heart Eyes (GL) Join the discord: https://discord.gg/mCBYVgW8MH

After the down fall of Jin-hun and losing everything important in his life he goes through what some might call evolving or to another devolving, follow him on the journey as he finds out what he is.

The story of the greatest villain is about to arrive

Ever felt frustrated by misunderstandings? Better yet, angry at the fact that the plot seems to just lean for or against the protagonist so much? Well, have no fear, for I am here! Ladies and Gentlemen, Lad Pesk at your service! Here to ruin the plots of authors and get rid of the boring cliches! My number’s right on the card, if needed call this phone number. Lad Pesk, Mender of frustration. 555-555-5555 Miss ya! Happy to Work For Ya! P.S The back of the card has all limitations and restrictions to my services.

Nobody knows where they came from. Their whereabouts have even less in the way of answers and theories. Answers, and Theories. That's all they are. All they want you to know. We all believed the last of the druids went out with the last purge our queen did. Something she does to cleanse the land of magic. In her words, only she could possess it. But the druids didn't go out. Not when the vines swirl around the royal guard, thorns pricking the skin deep enough to bleed. Pirates. Pirates are a threat. The land isn't safe, but neither are the seas. Not with their self appointed queen, Lull. Not with sea monsters at her beck and call. A demigod rising to divinity, her way paved with the blood of thousands. For weeks, the rivers ran red, the valley grass stained copper-crimson. And now, the kindly queen Divina has gone mad. The woods are as dark as her soul. Watch your back.

A young woman's life is turned upside down when her ex, Chris, suddenly reappears. Chris is the ruthless and cunning boss of a powerful mafia organization, with a reputation for getting what he wants, no matter the cost. As they rekindle their intense and passionate relationship, she is drawn back into a world of luxury and danger, where the lines between loyalty and obsession are blurred. But as Chris's true intentions are revealed, she must decide whether to surrender to her desires and become embroiled in his criminal empire, or to fight for her freedom and risk everything. With her loyalty to her friends and her own sense of self-worth hanging in the balance, she must navigate the treacherous landscape of Chris's world and confront the secrets of their past in order to survive. Excerpt: "What are you..." I started to ask, but Chris locked his lips with mine, cutting off my words. It was an angry kiss, like he was pouring his frustration into me. I tried to struggle, but he held me tighter and deepened the kiss. I eventually gave up, knowing it was futile. He let go of my lips, and I could feel a sting on my mouth. I saw a bite mark on his lip as well. We looked at each other, and I could feel the tension growing in the car. We were alone, with me on top of him, and our faces inches apart. Before I knew it, our lips touched again, but this time it was different - it was slow and sensual. I moaned as his tongue started to explore my mouth, and the kiss inevitably deepened. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the feeling, my hands roaming his chest as his hands went under my shirt and rubbed my bare back. I started to feel hot all over and pulled my jacket away. He trailed his lips to my collarbone and sucked on it. When I started to move my hips over his already hardened bulge, he held my legs to stop me. "No," he said, his voice restrained. Still in the fog of the moment, I asked in a whisper, "What?" My breath came in pants, just like his. He replied, "Let's stop here, princess, or we'll do the other thing you talked about." It took me a second to understand, and when I did, I immediately got off his lap and returned to my seat. My mind went to Sarah, and I realized I couldn't come clean to her now. I glared at Chris, who smirked at me and started driving again.

In a world overrun by Netherspawn—savage, corrupt creatures—humanity survives in seven fortified cities. Kael Vorn, a ruthless slum orphan, is conscripted into a brutal academy to fight the horde. During his graduation hunt, he awakens a terrifying power: the ability to control pure darkness, a void that devours all. Marked as both savior and threat.

This story contains warnings, reader discretion is advised....

This is a story i worked on for over 6 years, I Have rewritten this many times working on world building, the plot lets say isnt concrete as im only foccused on making the best story i can. I apologize for posting without it being done I Thank anyone reading this .  Chapters released daily/weekly

In a world where a small percentage of the population is able to cultivate powers of mystical and supernatural quality and strength determines your standing in society a Seed sprouts forming a young man who seems to be ignorant of the world but power beyond normal means. A ability that none have seen before, he is the Dark Seed

Growing up on the streets of New Pandora after the usurption of Earth, John never expected anything good from life. He survived just to survive, no purpose in mind and no hope. However, even he did not anticipate Awakening and becoming a successor of the Gray Family - an elite family at the peak of the world wielding unimaginable power and wealth. He was born without a Gift and a curse that painted his hair black and filled his eyes with a bleak darkness. Watch as he reaches for the apex of existence and uncovers the hidden plot behind his curse. "In this sixth life, I will have it all!"

Omer has a knack for finding humor in the most unexpected places. From his witty comebacks to his lighthearted pranks, Omer's life is a whirlwind of laughter and surprises. But behind his sharp sense of humor lies a deeper story—one of resilience, self-discovery, and connection. "Joke With Omer" is a heartwarming tale that weaves comedy with moments of introspection, as Omer navigates the ups and downs of friendship, love, and the challenges that life throws his way. This book invites readers to see the world through Omer's unique lens, where every situation holds the potential for a laugh and a lesson. Whether it's turning everyday chaos into comedy or uncovering joy in the darkest moments, "Joke With Omer" is a celebration of the healing power of humor and the importance of never taking life too seriously.