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Jokes About Deez Nuts

The System Thinks I'm a Joke (But I'll Take OP)

Kai's life sucks. Born with meridians like a cracked teacup, he can't hold Qi and is the laughingstock of his cultivation clan. After his jealous "best friend" frames him and has him dumped in a monster-infested forest to die, Kai hits rock bottom – bruised, broken, and literally beast-chow. Enter the System. Just when Kai curses his fate, a shimmering blue screen pops up: "The Absolute Bullshit Cultivator System Activated!" Its name is ridiculous, its attitude sarcastic ("Peak Level Trash" status, really?), but its gifts? Instant. A healing elixir patches him up. A movement technique downloads straight into his brain. Powerful pills flood his dantian with more Qi than he's ever felt. Suddenly OP? Kinda. Kai isn't a god... yet. But dodging a charging Razorback Boar with impossible, lightning-crab speed? Check. Leading spirit beasts on frustrating chases while laughing like a maniac? Check. This "bullshit" system just turned the world's biggest loser into its luckiest cheat code. His mission now? Survive the woods. Get stronger. Unlock more absurd system perks. And absolutely wreck the faces of everyone who threw him away. With a sarcastic AI in his head and the universe's cheat codes at his fingertips, Kai's path to becoming stupidly overpowered begins with one simple step: running away really, really fast. And maybe embracing the absolute bullshit. The path to OP starts here. Get ready for face-slapping, fast progression, and a system that thinks it's hilarious.
Malevolentnick · 9.5K Views

Things We Don’t Talk About

——— I woke up to fingers running gently through my hair. At first, I thought I was dreaming, until the lullaby began. Low. Melodic. But wrong. It was that same language I'd heard through the walls, the one that makes your stomach twist and your teeth clench. She sat on the edge of my bed, I can’t see her face; it’s swallowed by the dark. But her hand keeps moving, slow and rhythmic, stroking my hair like she’s lulling something else to sleep. Her eyes are half-closed, swaying as she hums that twisted tune. And then I realize— I forgot to turn on my bedroom light before falling asleep. I kept my breathing slow and shallow, pretending to sleep. limbs screaming to move, to run, but something in me knows: Don’t let her know you’re awake. Don’t move. The singing stops. She sniffles. A choked, trembling sob leaks through her lips. She starts crying quietly, like she’s trying not to be heard. Like she’s afraid. “No...” she whispers, her voice cracking like a child’s. “He still dreams like a child… still soft…” I almost convince myself she’s sleep-talking— Until her hand suddenly tangles in my hair and pulls. I flinched and let out a sharp gasp. "Mama—!" She goes still. Her grip loosened… then shifts. Her fingers wrapped tightly around my trembling arms. Her face inches closer. I can smell her breath,..warm, wrong, too close. Her eyes are wide with terror. Her voice shakes as she hisses: “Don’t say anything." "Don’t say a word anymore.” I was too scared to speak. I couldn't even nod. She held me like that for a long, shuddering moment. Her breath was hot and ragged against my cheek. Her hands were too tight, like if she lets go, I’ll vanish. Her eyes darting around the room. Then, like a switch flipping, she goes completely still. "Mom?" I whispered, so softly it barely made a sound. She was at eye level with me. But she wasn't looking at me. She looked past me. Behind me.... No... no. It’s happening AGAIN. . This is not a safe novel. It's a collection of short, self-contained stories, each chapter unraveling a new descent, a different nightmare. Some stories are brief. Others not so. No heroes. No clean endings. Just answers that should have stayed buried. Read alone if you must. But don't say we didn't warn you. Reader Warning: This series contains psychological horror, disturbing imagery, death, and paranormal themes. Reader discretion is advised. Each chapter is a self-contained story, perfect for short, spine-tingling reads.
RongKing · 9K Views

Journey About Li Family

Jenn Li has a loving mom and a stubborn caring dad, and nice loud younger sister. But, at age 14 she had limb girdle muscular dystrophy. It causes her muscles in her arm and legs to slowly weaken as time pass by. It made her not as convenient to go outside. When she have to go to school, she takes her wheelchair. It gives her some anxiety and is a bit discomfort for her. But, she managed through it. She is only able to walk with a limp on her leg for only a small distance. She is able to walk with a limp all around her home. She find comfort at home while being on the internet. And, wants to making journaling youtube videos. Sometimes, she gets worried over trivial things. And, sometimes thinking things like why is her life is like this, and if she didn't have musclar dystrophy, life would be just a bit better for her. She tends to get over her worries by thinking positive listening to music and watching videos. She is grateful that she is alive and breathing. She also do not have a boyfriend. Is not a big deal, but it would be lovely to have a boyfriend and getting married in the future. One day angels and gods showed up and, decided to bless and gift everyone in the whole world with immortality and magical superpowers. . It became like a utopia. They also give her an alternative universe life to live and her story is: She and her older non identical twin sister, along with her parents are immortal. And, their stories goes like this: Jann Li and Jenn Li, two 22 years old non-identical twin sisters who has 2 childhood best friends, Jonn Li and Junn Li. They also happens to be 22 years old non-identical twin brothers. They all live together in one big house. Jonn and Junn soon becomes their boyfriends and lovers. They are part of The Li family. A family that all is immortal and have magical and super powers, just like everybody is. They are trying to enjoy and live a happy and peaceful life. And hanging out with their immortal and magical friends, sometimes.
JenniferHuangDeng · 15.7K Views
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