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Cruel Jokes

I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!
KhyaaL · 7.5K Views

Unidos ao Príncipe Cruel

[Conteúdo Maduro] Salvar um Fae ferido na floresta não tinha sido o plano de Islinda, e pior, ele se revela ser da realeza, Príncipe Valeria da corte de verão, herdeiro e príncipe herdeiro do trono de Astária. Mas então, os humanos desconfiavam dessas criaturas de outro mundo, enquanto os Fae olhavam para os humanos, pensando neles como criaturas inferiores. Islinda e o príncipe eram de mundos diferentes, mas isso não os impediu de se apaixonarem. Infelizmente, Príncipe Valeria não podia ficar no reino humano para sempre e teve que retornar ao seu reino com uma promessa de voltar por ela. E ela acreditou nele. Mas então, o outro veio em seu lugar. Sombrio, carrancudo, impiedoso, mas perigosamente atraente, todos temiam o Príncipe Aldric. Mesmo sendo um guerreiro feroz e filho do rei de Astária, Aldric tem seu direito ao trono negado e é amaldiçoado a nunca ocupar seu lugar por causa de sua herança sombria. Torcido por dentro e carente de afeto, Príncipe Aldric faz o que sabe fazer de melhor, causar miséria. Ele capturou Islinda - a mulher que atraiu a atenção de seu irmão. Ele a roubou de seu lar para seu cruel propósito. Se não podia ter o trono, pelo menos poderia brincar com o interesse amoroso de seu irmão. Seu novo prêmio. Islinda o odiava. O desprezava por tirar tudo o que ela poderia ter tido com o príncipe do verão. Ele é o vilão. Agora ela foi arrastada para o meio da política suja jogada nos tribunais de Astária, sem falar em sobreviver aos jogos frios praticados pelo príncipe. Mas toda esperança não estava perdida, porque o príncipe cruel poderia tentá-la o quanto quisesse, mas ele nunca teria a única coisa que ele mais quer. Ser amado. Ele nunca teria seu coração! Ou poderia? ________ "O que você pode me oferecer, pequeno humano," Ele sorriu, lento e cruel. Ela faria uma brinquedo maravilhoso. "Por favor," Ela implorou, com lágrimas agora se acumulando em seus olhos, "Apenas me deixe ir." "Tudo bem," Ele deu de ombros como se fosse um pedido fácil, "Você pode ir." "O-quê?" Ela balbuciou, achando difícil acreditar. "Pequeno humano, você descobrirá que minha mente muda muito facilmente." Essas palavras soaram misericordiosas, mas ela podia sentir a ameaça por baixo. Mas ele realmente estava falando sério? Islinda não ficou por perto para descobrir, pois disparou em uma corrida. Se havia até a menor chance de ele mudar de ideia, então ela aproveitaria. Ela ainda não desistiria da esperança. Embora não soubesse por quê, Islinda lançou um olhar para trás depois de um tempo e o sangue drenou de seu rosto ao ver o que estava vindo. Oh não, ela acabou de cometer um erro terrível. Isso nunca foi liberdade. Era uma caçada. E ela acabou de se tornar a presa. _________ Nota: Esse é um livro de fantasia sombria e o protagonista masculino é um vilão, então não espere um romance fofo. O que esperar? Morte, gore, forte tensão sexual e cenas explícitas. Além disso, não é harém reverso. Magia do castelo presente = 5 capítulos bônus! Venha, vamos ter uma caçada selvagem!
Glimmy · 135.3K Views

Unido al Príncipe Cruel

``` Salvar a un Fae herido en el bosque no había sido el plan de Islinda y, peor aún, resulta ser de la realeza, el Príncipe Valerie de la corte de verano, heredero y príncipe heredero al trono de Astaria. Pero entonces, los humanos desconfiaban de esas criaturas de otro mundo mientras que los Fae miraban a los humanos con desprecio, pensando en ellos como seres inferiores. Islinda y el príncipe eran mundos aparte pero eso no les impidió enamorarse. Lamentablemente, el Príncipe Valerie no podía quedarse en el reino humano para siempre y tuvo que regresar a su reino con la promesa de volver por ella. Y ella le creyó. Pero entonces, viene el otro en su lugar. Oscuro, taciturno, despiadado pero peligrosamente apuesto, todos temían al Príncipe Aldric. Aunque como un feroz guerrero e hijo del rey de Astaria, a Aldric se le niega su derecho al trono y está maldito a no tomar su lugar debido a su oscuro linaje. Retorcido desde adentro y hambriento de afecto, el Príncipe Aldric hace lo que mejor sabe hacer, causar miseria. Capturó a Islinda, la mujer que ha captado la atención de su hermano. La robó de su hogar para sus crueles propósitos. Si no podía tener el trono, al menos podría jugar con el interés amoroso de su hermano. Su nuevo premio. Islinda lo odiaba. Lo despreciaba por quitarle todo lo que podría haber tenido con el príncipe de verano. Él es el villano. Ahora ha sido arrastrada al medio de la sucia política que se juega en las cortes de Astaria, sin mencionar sobrevivir a los fríos juegos que juega el príncipe. Pero toda esperanza no se había perdido porque el príncipe cruel podía tentarla todo lo que quisiera, pero jamás iba a obtener lo que más desea. Ser amado. ¡Él nunca tendría su corazón! ¿O sí? ________ —¿Qué puedes ofrecerme, pequeño humano? —él sonrió, lento y cruel. Ella sería un juguete tan maravilloso. —Por favor —ella le rogó, las lágrimas ahora acumulándose en sus ojos—. Solo déjame ir. —Está bien —él se encogió de hombros como si fuera una solicitud fácil—. Puedes irte. —¿Q-qué? —ella musitó, le resultaba difícil creerlo. —Pequeño humano, descubrirás que mi mente cambia muy fácilmente —esas palabras sonaron misericordiosas, pero ella podía sentir la amenaza debajo. ¿Pero realmente lo decía en serio? Islinda no se quedó para averiguarlo ya que empezó a correr a toda velocidad. Si había la más mínima posibilidad de que él cambiara de opinión, entonces lo aprovecharía. Todavía no perdería la esperanza. Ella no sabía por qué, pero Islinda echó una mirada por encima de su hombro después de un rato y la sangre se le heló en el rostro al ver lo que se acercaba. Oh no, acababa de cometer un terrible error. Esto nunca fue libertad. Era una cacería. Y ella acababa de convertirse en la presa. _________ Nota: Este es un libro de fantasía oscura y el protagonista masculino es un villano, así que no esperes un romance meloso. ¿Qué esperar? Muerte, sangre, intensa tensión sexual y escenas explícitas. Además, no es harem inverso. ¡Castillo mágico como regalo = 5 capítulos de bonificación! ¡Ven, tengamos una cacería salvaje! ```
Glimmy · 144.5K Views

Vengeance: The Dark Werewolf King's Cruel Enforcer [BL]

[WARNING: MATURE CONTENT 21+ // this is the only warning for the book] "The next time you even think of laying a hand on him, will be the last time anyone sees you." **** When he's rejected by his first mate, only to be given an omega as a second-chance mate, Acrod's Royal Enforcer, Grant Hindley, is everything but thrilled at the decision — especially since he refuses to get over his ex — one of the most powerful Lycans alive. So he takes out his anger and frustrations on the omega he is mated to. A part of Grant expects a rebellion, but what he gets is love from his ever-abused omega — but is it love though, when the omega is not even an omega, but a vengeful psycho werewolf prince who loves playing mind games and despises the enforcer for his cruelty toward his people? — — — Hiding in plain sight as Nour, an omega, and against his father — the king's wishes, free-spirited Prince Cassius only wants to have fun before ascending the throne. He doesn't want a mate, much to his father's dismay, but the king lets him be. However, a mating ceremony forces him out of his comfort zone, and into the most challenging of adventures, one that he leans into, because he wants the full experience of a mate bond. He forces himself to endure, but there is only so much that he can endure before he snaps. And when he does snap, everything is turned upside down. Heaven becomes hell in so many ways. Justice is a thing of the past as vengeance shows up in the form of the goddess's worst creation - a devil Lycan mate for the prince. A man who doesn't mind getting his hands dirty just to see a smile on the prince's face. And his first target? Royal. Enforcer. Grant. And he is determined to avenge his prince; come hell or high water. Maybe two wrongs make a right after all, no? *** // Sequel to "Alanor, The Lycan King's Prisoner." * When Fire meets Fate
she_osprey · 281.7K Views

Isekai Customer Service Is A Joke!

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"
kappe · 12.5K Views
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