My Lawyer Has Advised Me Not To Finish This Joke

At 20 years old, Alex was just an ordinary college student until a sudden accident happened. One night, while walking home, he was caught in a hit-and-run incident. The impact should have killed him, but instead, he miraculously survived. What’s more? A mysterious screen appeared right before his eyes: [The Temptation System has been activated.] [The Temptation System is here to assist you, Host. Your life has been granted a second chance, and I am your guide to experiencing it to the fullest.] [First Mission: Capture the Eye of a Tempting Beauty.] [Objective: Gain the favor of the Nurse within 24 hours.] [Reward: +5% Recovery Boost.]

Waking up, I discovered that I had become a cat with superpowers...

Duo Duo's new book "Daily Life of the Beloved Wife in the House" has been released. Welcome all to read it--- A large brick bed, a big black wall, a room all deserted. A suit of clothes, not long enough, washed to a bleached old gown. One day, she woke up ten years younger, ending up with a beguilingly good-looking husband. But she just beat him up this morning--Damn, how to deal with this? A certain wickedly charming man coldly looked at her: "Tell me, what trouble have you run into this time?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PS: Duo's completed works, "Gentle and Cute Wife Comes to Tease", "Fall in Love, Chief Executive", "National Film Emperor is too Good at Flirting", are rich and highly recommended for reading. Regular readers group: 285699337, knock on the door... names of any of Duo’s book characters are accepted. VIP readers group: 611482740. Fans with a score of 2000+ or those who have a full set of any of Duo's books can join.

When Peter is transported to a brutal, system-driven world, where stats, skills, and paths to power are granted at birth… he gets nothing. No stats. No skills. No system. Just a pair of straw sandals and a death sentence. Thrown into a military training regime where the weak are discarded and the strong thrive, Peter should have been erased in days. But through sheer grit, sharp wit, and an unconventional cultivation path, he refuses to die. Alongside Thea, a fiercely determined warrior, and Elric, a healer with a secret, Peter claws his way forward—one brutal battle at a time. But as he breaks the world’s rules, the world starts noticing.

Words started but never finished, now rewritten to save what dignity there was to salvage. This is my archive of nostalgia.

Ji Rong died suddenly after staying up all night playing an online game, only to wake up as the evil villainess who meets her demise at the hands of the heroine in the game’s ending. Determined to change her fate, she resolved to fight against the heroine until the bitter end. But then, the sweet and naive heroine unexpectedly… awakened. A certain “mad dog” pounced on her, whispering teasingly into her ear: “Senior Sister, isn’t this fun?” Expressionless, Ji Rong replied, “Not at all.” Now, facing the heroine who radiates dark energy and wears “I’m no good” on her face, Ji Rong could only weep internally and curse the game developers for ruining her youth. From a near-death awakening: “I can’t believe it—the NPC… is me!” Having reincarnated as the villainous Senior Sister, Ji Rong initially thought she was handed the script for The Villain’s Redemption Story—or at least I Became a Light at the End of the Game. Instructions: 1. The realm levels in the text are: Beginning Realm, Spiritual Communication, Heart-Seeking, Riding the Wind, Stepping on the Moon, Chasing the Clouds, Infinite, Desperate, Returning to the Dust. -------------------------------------------------------- You can also join my patreon for more chapters, just search: Crimson_Lore Patreon

one night Lucas big sister tell him that she has system, than Lucas tell her that he has memories of past life . than his sister tell him system name Apocalypse servival system. and Lucas tell her that his past world has a reverse gander moral role .

I was always the typical prankster, but Akira never reacted like the others. Instead of getting angry, she always smiled, and over time, that smile stopped being my target and became the thing I wanted to protect the most.

Draven Craftlock was a serial killer who lived for the thrill of the hunt—until a freak accident and a bolt of divine lightning sent him straight to his death. But instead of eternal damnation, he wakes up in a bizarre new reality… as a single drop of blood. Turns out, God has a twisted sense of humor. Stripped of his physical form and bound by three divine rules that prevent him from mindlessly slaughtering his way to the top, Draven now has to find a way to survive in a world of magic, monsters, and gods who see him as nothing more than a mistake to be erased. But he’s not alone—Emma, an eldritch, reality-bending clown, has been assigned to “watch over him” (read: mock him relentlessly). With his instincts still sharp, his bloodthirsty nature barely contained, and his new reality stacked against him, Draven is ready to play the game. If he can’t kill outright, he’ll just have to get creative. After all, rules were made to be broken… right?

Xu Mo loved playing games on Steam and bought a ton of them. But he soon realized something strange—whatever happened in the game started affecting his real life! When he played as an AI girl, a gorgeous girlfriend appeared in the real world. After robbing a bank in GTA, millions of dollars showed up in his real bank account. One time, while exploring a fantasy game, a Taoist monk with incredible powers showed up in reality, cutting an aircraft carrier in half with a sword and talking to him about Taoism. Things quickly spiraled out of control, throwing the whole world into chaos!

Charlotte loses everything and goes on the run after her entire species is attacked in the soo called holy wars. Finally she finds stability in a small town near the border under the guise of Avery. With the hero's party believing that they have brought the demons to extinction. They decide to settle down in a quite town now that their mission has been fulfilled, which just so happens to be the same one where Charlotte is hiding. Can Charlotte now known as "Avery" hide her secret.?? Will she chose to take revenge for her species?? Can she finally find peace in her life after experiencing the horrors of war??

CAUTION: TABOO Previous Title: Crippled Hier Wake up with a MILF system Zhang Fei was a degenerate looser back on Earth. He was crowned the Coomer King after jerking his way to victory in a twisted online test, only to get sucked into a void and thrown into a xianxia world of qi, sects, and hmm.....pussies. Reborn as a crippled heir, his body’s fucked—useless limbs, cock barely twitching—he’s stuck drooling over jade beauties he can’t touch, until........a window lights up in his life. “Welcome to the Crippled Heir MILF System." "Host! Ready to fuck your way to the top?” Hell yeah, he is. Task one? Get a hand job. His first conquest? A thick-ass MILF who calls herself “Mother,” her massive tits spilling qi-nourished milk into his mouth while she strokes his cock till he cums hard, fixing his broken ass with every sticky spurt. Now, fully healed, Zhang Fei’s out to steal every jade beauty, fuck rival sect bitches senseless and claim the fat legacy that he is supposed to have. The system dings with every thrust: “Mission: Bang your way to the top. Rewards: Qi Potion, badass moves, and more pussy.” Will he ascend to fuck the heavens or just fuck everything in his path? Spoiler: he’s doing both. Tags: R-18 | Mature | Adult | Smut | Harem | Ecchi | Hentai | NSFW | Netori | Blowjob | Anal | Sex | Threesome | Foursome | Hardcore | Feet | Thick | Thicc | Loli | Milf | Gilf | Young & Mature | Choking | Outdoors | Humiliation | Nymph | Bdsm | Fetish | Dual Cultivation | Action| Handsome MC | Weak to Strong MC | Antihero | Comedy | Taboo|

On a dangerous mission, Detective Calista hides in a hotel room—only to come face-to-face with Leander Smith, a mysterious and dangerously charming man. What she doesn’t know? He is the mafia leader. What he doesn’t know? She is the detective. Fate brings them together again when Leander buys her college just to stay close to her. He teases her, calls her "Kitty," and falls deeply in love—without knowing she is his enemy. But their love story turns dark when Evander Smith, Leander’s younger brother, enters the picture. The moment he sees Calista, he wants her for himself. And to get what he wants, he will destroy everything in his way. One night, Evander changes Calista’s life forever. ✔ He kills her only family. ✔ He kidnaps her. ✔ He erases her memories. Heartbroken, Leander leaves for Italy, hoping distance will make him forget her. But when he learns the truth, he returns—only to find Calista in Evander’s hands, with no memory of their love. And then, the final tragedy strikes. ✔ Evander kills Leander right in front of Calista. ✔ He also kills Luca—Leander’s most loyal assistant and Elowen’s husband. ✔ Elowen, pregnant and shattered, watches her world burn. In the end, Leander is gone, Evander falls, and Calista is left in pain. But two people still remain—Cariana, a five-year-old girl, and Elowen, who will raise her child alone. Some stories don’t end with love or revenge—some are just the beginning of something much darker.

Ever Heard of a lawyer who never fought a single case? Fortunately, he does but not in the Human world but somewhere else. Sheng a lawyer in his 30s takes strange cases and fights for his client's innocence. but how long he can do that?

Alicia Stardust, the main antagonist of the Otome Game: Love Beneath The Moonlight. Surely, reincarnating into her body would be a bad thing right? Nope. Becoming a Villainess was one of the best things that could have happened to me. Despite being born as the genius daughter of a Duke with every single magic spirit at her command, Alicia Stardust fell for the crown prince and used every possible means to seek an engagement with him, regardless of if her methods were vicious or wicked. However, after succeeding and gaining the engagement with the Crown Prince, it was then that her ruthless behavior became highlighted and she became unfavorable to many within the noble faction. Her downfall would finally arrive when she tried to kill the female lead, a commoner from the countryside who won the affection of her beloved Crown Prince. She was then exiled and was scorned as a wicked woman who met a rightful end, at least in the game that is. After spending three days straight playing the game I passed out. When I finally regained my consciousness I found myself waking up in the body of Alicia Stardust six months before she enters the Royal Academy of Magic. "Hahaha, some would think of this as unfortunate... but this is a blessing! I will embarrass that female lead and show this world what a real Villainess is capable of!"

For those of you who wish to see him start in the professional stage could directly jump onto the volume II. Takahashi Hiro after committing suicide gets reincarnated into his younger self. A genius footballer from a young age, he loses all his footballing talent after a horrendous injury. But despite that he perseveres through the odds and overcomes his tragedy. Finally when he could make his dream come true after getting scouted by a professional team, he faces yet another trouble. Having lost his final hope of making alive, he takes his life by committing suicide. But to his surprise, instead of dying he wakes up in his younger body. Having returned back to time, he again dreams of being the greatest footballer. This time with the help of the system which allows him to copy talent of any footballer, will he make it as a pro? Will he be the G.O.A.T? Notes: Characters in this story are fictional, The story might progress slowly, A huge emphasis has been paid to emotion of the characters, The story will not focus solely on football and system and it will focus equally on the lifestyle of the protagonist and the people closer to him.

Jun Xiao is binded by a system. His system (forcibly) teleports him to Myriad Worlds threatening him to cultivate Daos. What are the goals of the Mysterious System? Why did it choose Jun Xiao? Read to find out more! #FaceSlapping ✅ #WeakToStrong✅ #System✅ #MyriadWorlds

This is the story of a man who lived without friends, without family, and without attachments. He was an ordinary man, unnoticed by the world, living in complete solitude. But one day, everything changed. During an accident, he saved a girl’s life—a girl who wasn’t just anyone. She was Lia Everhart, the most stunning beauty in the city and the daughter of a prestigious, powerful family. From that moment, her heart belonged to him. "You saved my life, so my whole life belongs to you." But he rejected her. "You will not be happy as my wife." She refused to back down. She would do anything for him. And in the end, he accepted her love. But their marriage had to be a secret. She came from an influential family, while he was just a nobody. Or at least… that’s what she thought. Because behind his quiet and ordinary life, he carried many identities—ones that could shake the entire world. And soon, she would realize… her husband was never meant to be ordinary.

Love is inherently a complex emotion, so much so that even the gods grow weary of its endless cycle. To put an end to this chaos, Cupid decided to create a solution: connecting lovers with a red thread of fate. Those bound by this thread would clearly see the connection between them, as a confirmation that they were meant to be together. Every trait, personality, and destiny would align perfectly, as if the universe had already planned it. However, in a strange twist, the thread decided to bind Cassius to his cold and powerful mother, a duchess renowned for her icy heart. This connection not only confused Cassius but also placed him in a dilemma, forcing him to face complex emotions and family secrets he had never suspected. Then, on a fateful day, Cassius saw the red thread appear once again. This time, it did not connect him to his mother but to a girl that he’d never met. Why had the thread appeared between them? And could this connection be a test of fate, or merely a cruel joke by the gods? ------- [No NTR][No Yuri]

The Earth as humans knew it was about to change with the discovery and realization that they were not alone. The Federation took an offensive approach to the first appearance of extraterrestrials causing a massive scare. However, mankind was neither as weak nor as strong as the fools or wise believed. In all this chaos, a young man in his early twenties gets an opportunity to take advantage of changing times. **** Carter was born into a normal family, after inheriting a store, he awakened the Bussiness Management System. "What does the intergalactic war have to do with me?" "Come, come, I sell spaceships and weapons fifty years ahead of the timeline"

Cao Shengming traveled across the country to participate in a reality show. On the day of the broadcast, he unexpectedly did a good deed! Stranger: "Brother, I lost 1,000 yuan, my phone is dead, and now I can't even get home. I don't know what to do..." Cao Shengming: "No worries, buddy. Here’s 300 yuan—go buy a ticket and get home safe." Passerby: "Bro, you’re way too kind. You just believe anyone? What if he’s lying? You’re practically asking to be scammed." Cao Shengming grinned. "No way! I trust him… because I just found 1,000 yuan." Passerby: "???" Netizens: "...So, this streamer has a conscience—but just barely." That same day, Cao Shengming landed a gig as a translator. But when he stepped onto the stage to interpret a leader's speech, the entire livestream chat went wild! Netizens: "Okay, this guy knows English… but definitely not much!"

After being imprisoned in the basement by her mother for ten years, she ended her cruel and tragic life in death when they forced her to hand over the key to the hidden treasure. Getting reborn in her teenage years, she woke up in the bed of that terrible and powerful man. This time, she must take revenge on her enemy, and now she must live. Having nicknamed 'The Loli of The East', this young lady broke through the heavily fortified private prison and managed to snatch the key that the man had been searching for as she escaped into the forest. "Woman, you've successfully attracted my attention." This man, who appeared to be the CEO of a business empire on the surface but was the godfather of the largest mafia, carried a military-tier bag and entered the forest. He felt that the Loli of The East possessed a fatal attraction. She was not a weak woman. On the contrary, she was stronger than most men in the world. Shen knew that the man in front of her was the Owl King. He was all-powerful, cold, and domineering, yet he was persistent towards her. Why did this man plan to do after chasing after her from outside the country into the country, even though she avoided him like the plague? Shen, "Stay away from me, will you?" Yan, "Baby, do you think it's possible?" She was the one and only daughter of the wealthy Shen family. She was the hope of the Shen family. Her battlefield was not within the bounds of a harem, nor was her battlefield centered around a man like a parasitic flower that clung onto her host. Her horizon did not look like that, and it should not be. Therefore, even if Yan built her a magnificent golden house, it would not be able to stop her heart that yearned to soar in the sky.

Liam White, a talented but rebellious athlete, has frustrated every manager he’s had. Enter Isabella, a strict, disciplined manager assigned to turn his career around. With her tough love and unwavering dedication, Isabella pushes Liam to reach his full potential, challenging his limits both on and off the field. As their intense training sessions bring them closer, their professional bond turns into something more. Amid the pressure of upcoming competitions, Liam finds himself falling for Isabella. Now, with love on the line and the stakes higher than ever, Liam must decide if he’s willing to fight for both victory and Isabella’s heart.

Sarah was 18 years old, just four weeks away from graduation. She was bored with school life and wanted to be free from it. However, aside from school, there was something else on her mind—she wanted to know who had entered her room and gone through her panty drawer. She had a suspicion, but she didn’t want to believe it. After a friend’s suggestion, she set up a mini camera. When she finally saw who had entered her house, she was stunned. --- The first few chapters focus on her and father, but as the story progresses, it shifts more toward the father, making him the central focus of the later chapters. --- There is No NTR and Yuri

[DISCONTINUED]