My Lawyer Has Advised Me Not To Finish This Joke

When Peter is transported to a brutal, system-driven world where every individual gains power, skills, and a clear path forward through their System… he gets nothing. No stats. No abilities. Just straw sandals and a looming death sentence. Forced into a military training regime where strength determines survival, Peter must rely on sheer grit, sharp wit, and an unconventional cultivation path alongside his fiercely determined ally, Thea, and the kind-hearted healer, Elric. Together, they must navigate grueling battles, deadly beasts, and the oppressive weight of a world designed for those blessed by the System. But Peter refuses to accept his fate. If the System won’t grant him power, he’ll carve his own path—one bruised knuckle and painstaking cultivation session at a time.

Dying and ending up alive somehow not in the hospital was not on our protagonist's list, especially when the place he was reborn was his favorite video game. one with bad ends every turn, psychopaths, narcissists, and gullible idiots, but it was a fun game, he did not know why, but every time the game ended in game over, he wanted to win more and more and he thus far in two months had not done that, and how could he there were over seven male leads and female leads to capture. And he was reincarnated with his sister, who just wanted to give up. This was going to be fun.

"My pants are already off. Stopping now would be a bit redundant, don't you think?" Everyone knew the cool, aristocratic Chairman Li was sick, but only Rong Yan knew the man was problematic and sick in the head. That day, she was accosted at the bedroom entrance. Long arms held her against her will as the man leaned into her ear and whispered, "Marry me." Rong Yan struggled to no avail. Frustrated, she said, "I have a boyfriend of five years." "You mean my son is your boyfriend?" For her baby boy, she was willing to secretly marry this billionaire chairman. From then on, he held the knife for her kills, and poured the gasoline as she set fires. Everyone knew the chairman was possessive and paranoid—and Rong Yan was his bottom line. The five-year-old Li Duidui was at a loss. When Daddy and Mommy fought, was he supposed to help clear up the misunderstanding or close the door on them...

At age 3, she knew who she wanted to marry. At age 10, she gave away her first kiss. At age 20, she became his personal bodyguard. For her childhood best friend to still run away after all this, what was the point of her learning marital art all these years? The saddest thing to come out of all this was the fact that she was the one feeling burdened all this time… Five years later. “Mommy! How come I am so cute but I do not have a daddy?” “How should I know? Go ask your daddy!” Xia Yuxun watched the newly married couple through the TV screen and answered without looking back. Half an hour later, at the live wedding that was being broadcasted, a crying child was grabbing onto the groom’s leg and screaming “daddy”. The man stared at the miniature version of himself and asked, “Where’s your mommy?” Xia Yuxun, who was watching this live show gulped, “You brat, you are digging your mom a hole!”

Ji Rong died suddenly after staying up all night playing an online game, only to wake up as the evil villainess who meets her demise at the hands of the heroine in the game’s ending. Determined to change her fate, she resolved to fight against the heroine until the bitter end. But then, the sweet and naive heroine unexpectedly… awakened. A certain “mad dog” pounced on her, whispering teasingly into her ear: “Senior Sister, isn’t this fun?” Expressionless, Ji Rong replied, “Not at all.” Now, facing the heroine who radiates dark energy and wears “I’m no good” on her face, Ji Rong could only weep internally and curse the game developers for ruining her youth. From a near-death awakening: “I can’t believe it—the NPC… is me!” Having reincarnated as the villainous Senior Sister, Ji Rong initially thought she was handed the script for The Villain’s Redemption Story—or at least I Became a Light at the End of the Game. Instructions 1. Aloof and suicidal senior sister x reborn drama queen junior sister. 2. The realm levels in the text are: Beginning Realm, Spiritual Communication, Heart-Seeking, Riding the Wind, Stepping on the Moon, Chasing the Clouds, Infinite, Desperate, Returning to the Dust. 3. This article has many twists and turns. There will be twists and turns, and it will be sweet all the way to the finale.

For those of you who wish to see him start in the professional stage could directly jump onto the volume II. Takahashi Hiro after committing suicide gets reincarnated into his younger self. A genius footballer from a young age, he loses all his footballing talent after a horrendous injury. But despite that he perseveres through the odds and overcomes his tragedy. Finally when he could make his dream come true after getting scouted by a professional team, he faces yet another trouble. Having lost his final hope of making alive, he takes his life by committing suicide. But to his surprise, instead of dying he wakes up in his younger body. Having returned back to time, he again dreams of being the greatest footballer. This time with the help of the system which allows him to copy talent of any footballer, will he make it as a pro? Will he be the G.O.A.T? Notes: Characters in this story are fictional, The story might progress slowly, A huge emphasis has been paid to emotion of the characters, The story will not focus solely on football and system and it will focus equally on the lifestyle of the protagonist and the people closer to him.

Unfortunately unable to live like the rest, tamed by an illness that had eaten deep into him, Sammy had to live a calm life, which led to his love for books and, mostly, writing. After months of plotting for his most anticipated book, which he looked forward to so much, on the night he was meant to publish, death came knocking on the door through his illness, taking his life. But his passion didn’t forsake him. He couldn’t just leave bear the agony of leaving his chapter incomplete. * * * Dead once, but given another chance at life with the power to configure his destiny and life as a whole, Sammy now has the chance to put things the way he wants, right from the very start. Gaining the power to write life in the present, and any time zone, through the power of a godly gift and tool, "The Elixir", It all leaves him with his wants and how he chooses to grind on this new chance and advantage, of this newfound power of his. ——————— Author here “Here we go again”. Please feel free to drop suggestions and corrections or thoughts. 2 chapters daily for now, increases if improvements are seen Join my discord for more info and questions. https://discord.gg/NZzdzVeG Thank you

Kind is tangled in the sticky web of unrequited love-he saw it coming like a train in slow motion. He's the guy watching his crush fawn over someone else, get all starry-eyed over another, and eventually hand out wedding proposals like candy-but to someone else, of course. Wale has long been aware of Kind's feelings for him, and though he is Kind's closest friend of nearly a decade, steadfastly devoted and unwaveringly straight, he nonetheless desires Kind to stand as his best man as he weds his long-time fiancée. Concealing his inner turmoil behind the guise of a smile, Wale shares his vulnerabilities with Kind alone, revealing to his dearest friend what he shields from the world. And now, with futures as clear as a foggy mirror, these two stumble through life's chaotic obstacle course, hoping not to trip on any life lessons or land face-first in heartbreak. Where will fate lead them next? Only time, and maybe a good laugh, will tell!

Omer has a knack for finding humor in the most unexpected places. From his witty comebacks to his lighthearted pranks, Omer's life is a whirlwind of laughter and surprises. But behind his sharp sense of humor lies a deeper story—one of resilience, self-discovery, and connection. "Joke With Omer" is a heartwarming tale that weaves comedy with moments of introspection, as Omer navigates the ups and downs of friendship, love, and the challenges that life throws his way. This book invites readers to see the world through Omer's unique lens, where every situation holds the potential for a laugh and a lesson. Whether it's turning everyday chaos into comedy or uncovering joy in the darkest moments, "Joke With Omer" is a celebration of the healing power of humor and the importance of never taking life too seriously.

Reincarnation clichés are not just my thing. You only get one life, You either die as a failure or live like a winner. -------- Ivor Snow has built his career as the most cunning and undefeated criminal lawyer of his time, a young man with a mind sharper than any blade and a tongue capable of twisting truths into salvation. But what the world doesn’t know is that Ivor hails from a lineage of criminals. Now, would you believe that? A criminal lawyer from the family of criminals. He’s spent years walking the razor’s edge, defending those like his kin while keeping himself far removed from their deeds. However, when a high-profile murder case in Korea demands international expertise, Ivor is thrust into the role of advisor for the defense team. Officially, it’s an opportunity to showcase his legal brilliance. Unofficially, it’s exile. After angering a Russian crime lord with deep ties to the assassin world, Ivor’s life in California had become too dangerous to sustain. Upon arriving in Korea, Ivor quickly discovers the case is far from ordinary. But just as he begins to peel back the truth, an unexpected incident drags him into a brutal reminder of his family’s criminal legacy. Now there's a murder trial on one hand and a dangerous new game unfolding on the other. -------- "You may believe you're peeling off the layers of lies, bit by bit. You may feel you're getting a hold of the situation, but unless you understand how your enemy thinks, every truth your uncover will remain nothing more than an illusion." - Ivor Snow. -------- Romanticist's Character Ivor Snow. --------

"This book merely recounts the events of my daily life. If it closely mirrors your own, perhaps you are deeply troubled and in urgent need of help."

My Life Bio continued

Liang Sheng transmigrated into the alternate world, starting off with the talent "Dull Cultivator". A "Dull Cultivator" referred to someone with a sincere heart, unyielding perseverance, and extremely slow cultivation speed. There was no bottleneck in his cultivation. But what did it matter if there was no bottleneck in his cultivation? Having an extremely slow cultivation speed made everything difficult. However, when he reached the ninth realm of Profound Eternity and broke through to the tenth realm, extending his lifespan by twenty years, he suddenly realized that this was the true meaning of "no bottleneck in cultivation". Any cultivation method could be pushed to its limits and be continuously cultivated. Since that was the case, if one method of cultivating longevity was not enough, then he would practice ten methods! If ten methods were not enough, then he would practice twenty! In short, he wanted to achieve immortality!

Excerpt: "Just strip, will you.." Hearing her command, he smiled viciously. Stepping closer to her, he whispered, "Why don't you do the honors and satisfy yourself? This body and my whole existence are now all yours!" *Book 1: Kiss Me Not, My Prince* (Completed - Chapters 1 to 273) Brione Yu was a successful model/actor with philemaphobia (fear of kissing). She had everything one could ever dream of, but her world crumbled when she lost the most important person in her life. He was not only her best friend but also the man she loved with all her heart. While she spent her days missing him and longing for him, she had an unexpected encounter with a recluse Prince who resembled her best friend substantially. Though their characters were contradictory, he reminded her of the man she loved every time she set her eyes on him. Was fate playing some kind of cruel game with her? Or was she being played by the Prince? ********************************** Book 2: Kiss Me Not, My Princess (completed - Chapters 274 to 382) “You took all my firsts, so take responsibility for it.” Did she hear it right? This was the height of shamelessness! “Your firsts? What about me then? You took all my firsts away!” “And I’m willing to take responsibility, my Princess.” he firmly stated with a devilish smile on his face. Kimmy was a Princess who ran away from an arranged marriage her mother set up for her. Years passed, and she came home with a broken heart. On her return home, she met the man she was supposed to marry. The man who surprisingly could make Kimmy's body tremble with desire for him. But, what would happen if the first love she used to chase before showed up before her just as she was about to move on? Who would the Princess choose to spend the rest of her life with? =========== Other Books: The Crown's Entrapment (in writing) The Untamed: Game of Hearts (completed) The CEO Who Hates Me (completed) The General Who Hates Me (completed) The Doctor Who Loves Me (completed) The Law of Attraction (completed) contact me at: Discord Link: https://discord.gg/PNGkTUy twitter: @EUSTOMA_reyna instagram: eustoma_reyna Facebook Page: @eustoma.reyna **** PS: Commissioned Book Cover owned by the Author! Do not use it!

Charlotte loses everything and goes on the run after her entire species is attacked in the soo called holy wars. Finally she finds stability in a small town near the border under the guise of Avery. With the hero's party believing that they have brought the demons to extinction. They decide to settle down in a quite town now that their mission has been fulfilled, which just so happens to be the same one where Charlotte is hiding. Can Charlotte now known as "Avery" hide her secret.?? Will she chose to take revenge for her species?? Can she finally find peace in her life after experiencing the horrors of war??

My Biography continued

“The daughters of a man like that doesn’t deserve to live.” The crowd chattered angrily, they were ready to tear them apart. “The princesses of Elderslot should be put to death.” She raised her head slowly, she glanced at the current emperor of the Aubreun Empire, he wasn’t very much different from how she remembered him; he was only dressed in the clothes of the imperial palace and his name had changed. “Heads down you insolent witch!” One of the palace guards snapped before smacking her cheeks, her head snapped to the side and blood seeped from the cut. “The princesses of Elderslot should be put to death!” The crowd kept on chanting. “The tyranny of the duchy of Elderslot has come to an end his majesty should do us a favor and kill them all.” “Kill them all!” “Show no mercy!” “Off with their heads!” “Silence!” The Emperor yells and the crowd grew silent. “The house of Elderslot has indeed committed treason against the imperial family and the empire as a whole, but I assure you, the Duke of Elderslot and all those responsible has been executed.” Her heart hammered in her chest, and once again she dared to look up at him, he spoke with a dignified arrogance whilst radiating kingly aura; he was like a stranger. “My verdict is mercy, they shall be given their lives but their positions will be reduced to nothing.” The tears that well in her eyes, slipped and fell to her blooded dress. The Emperor turned in her direction as he spoke. “They shall be left with nothing,” their eyes met and his hardened immediately. “Nothing but shame and pain to clothe them.”

My personal Biography Continued

Have you ever wondered what its like to be in a world where no one really loves you?, where no one really cares?. Ninni didn't but now she has to.....

My personal Biography

Embark on a poignant journey through the pages of my book as I unravel the tapestry of my childhood in Benevides, a tranquil town nestled near sprawling farms. The narrative unfolds against the rustic backdrop of Benevides.

Axel Cross is the underground racing king, who lived all his life on the edge. Leaving his rivals in dust and law in his rearview mirror, Axel thought that his life would continue as long as he had gas and wheels to fuel it. But, in one wrong move, a trap crept in on him without warning. Kidnapped and sold in some shad.ow auction, his freedom was torn off and given into the hands of Selene Luxford-a billionaire whose beauty matched her ruthless control. She treats Axel as just another commodity, a piece in the game of maintaining her hold over her empire. But what she doesn't anticipate is that he would be a fiercely strong opponent, nor the intense attraction that ignites between them. As Axel makes attempts to escape her iron claw, he begins to learn about the darkness in Selene's past—things that tie her to his world in ways neither can even think of. Once a deadly opponent with personal vendetta, Viktor Kane could do everything to destroy everything that Axel and Selene worked towards. In this unlikely association, they must join their strengths to take him down, but as their partnership builds, so does their closeness, blurring all lines between captor and captive. Together, they will face betrayals racing against time and confront those scars that define them. When loyalty is rarer than water and freedom comes at a price, can two broken souls find redemption in each other, or will the finish line tear them apart?

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

Haina Elayca Morales, a well-known student from their school was having a financial problem since her childhood. That was why she was making her own way to survive her schooling everyday. Nicollo Shawn Suarez, the boy who was always making fun of Haina. He gave her a nickname, "Nana". He was doing his best to achieve his dreams including his future love life. Charice Martinez, an actress since her childhood was making her own path to success. She was dreaming to become a well known artist where she could live like the way she wanted to be. Timmy Go, the handsome guy who was making what he wanted to come true. He would risk everything for his love for a woman. Even his wealth was controlled by his parents. If four of them would meet someday, how could it be? Things were nice in the beginning but it would eventually turn into a bad luck for them. How unlucky would they be. Or may be, a good luck?