Hilarious Retard Jokes

Updates at 20:00 (+8 GMT) They, Bulgaria and Byzantine, were their fathers' heirs. One because he was the eldest and had a curse which could see him protecting his family, no matter how bitter the price. The other because he reminded his father of a brother killed eons ago. Waking up the wish for a future robbed out of anger. A future that was never meant to be. History was repeating itself, but Rome wanted to see his son happy. Just like how Remus would have been happy with Carthage, the lover he had been headed to, when he had made the joke about Rome's walls. A joke which cost him his life. The year is 452 A.D. An year after the fateful battle at the Catalaunian Fields. Attila wants to make his mark in history, Rome is tired. And so began the marriage between Telets, who would grow to be Bulgaria, and Constantine, who would become a Champion of the Faith. Their journey is one of love, one of tragedy and joy. History has shown us that Death did them apart. But what happened before the Walls of Constantinople fell? The year was 452 A.D. when it all began... (Warning: The ending is on Wikipedia. This is a story about the personifications of nations. Also, this is a harem novel.)

Do you know that feeling, when you're just fed up with everything, and want to run away and leave it all behind? Maybe even travel to another universe and explore other dimensions and realities. Wouldn't that be sick? There would be so many more options to achieve happiness or even find true love. OR you could committ every crime known to man, and get revenge on everyone that hurt you before, and their versions in other universes, because you feel like it. Let's see what Ethan decides, and if the 'no consequences' thing is really true. Because as we know, everything has a price... (trigger warning: really bad jokes, cuss words and choatic magicians!)

He was an unparalleled alchemy genius. however, because he couldn't cultivate martial arts, he was betrayed and killed by the woman he loved the most. He was then reborn in the body of a bullied good-for-nothing young man. A good-for-nothing? A genius? What a joke! No one in this realm understood cultivating geniuses better than Yang Chen! Martial arts? Alchemy? What's so difficult about Dual cultivation?! He embarked on the demonic path, rising against all odds! With his exceptional talent, he forged a divine body, sweeping away all injustices! With his brilliant alchemy, he shocked all realms!

Under everyone's gaze, her pregnant sister came to force a marriage, making her the butt of the joke, after being cheated on. When she was at her wit's end, she met him —— Jun Mochan, the business tycoon. He said: "Marry me, I won't betray you." In order to shut off the wagging tongues and avoid becoming a bargaining chip in a family alliance, She said: "Okay" But, wasn't it agreed that it would be a fake marriage? He loves her deeply. The whole world knows it, only she doesn't.

Seventeen-year-old Myraa Hana Lee is nothing special—or so she thinks. In Montreal, she’s the invisible girl who blends into the background like an old piece of wallpaper. No popularity, no drama, and no problem—because Myraa likes her quiet life just the way it is. But when her mom suddenly ships her off to Japan for a “vacation,” Myraa’s ordinary world is turned upside down. First, there’s the sprawling Reizei estate, which looks more like a movie set than a home. Then, there’s Camellia Academy, an elite school full of rich, glamorous students who are convinced Myraa is someone important. To her shock, they’re not entirely wrong—because Myraa isn’t just another student. She’s the heiress to one of Japan’s most powerful families. Now thrust into a world of luxury, intrigue, and over-the-top attention, Myraa has to navigate her new life as “everyone’s darling.” But surviving posh parties, dramatic classmates, and relentless rumors is no easy task—especially when the Reizei family is full of secrets. At her side is Kyra Shion Reizei, her cool, protective (and infuriatingly charming) cousin who insists on acting like her personal knight. Myraa’s clumsy chaos contrasts hilariously with Kyra’s effortless grace, but as the two grow closer, their bond deepens into something Myraa doesn’t quite understand. With scheming rivals, glitter-bomb disasters, and a mysterious past threatening to unravel her newfound world, Myraa must decide: Will she rise to the challenge of being a Reizei heiress? Or will her clumsiness take down the entire legacy? “Oops, I’m the Heiress?!” is a heartwarming and hilarious tale of self-discovery, found family, and a dash of unexpected romance. Perfect for fans of lighthearted drama, witty banter, and swoon-worthy knight-and-princess dynamics!

A young man riding a bus suddenly finds himself reincarnated as a queen ant. However, in this world teeming with monsters, his combat abilities are among the weakest! The only things he can rely on are his not-so-strong worker ants and the knowledge he gained in his previous life. Harvesting crops, crafting useful tools, and... having children? Wait, having children?! But I'm a man! If I end up having ant children, does that make me a single father? This makes no sense! But if I don't do it, I might die... What do I do?! While grappling with such dilemmas, he struggles to survive in a rather unforgiving world. Please enjoy this human-turned-ant’s "Bug's Life" fantasy, filled with hardships and perseverance! How does an exhuman man reconcile himself with his new role as a "single dad" in this high-stakes fantasy world? Survival is mandatory, and failure is not possible. Come with this reluctant ant queen on this hilarious, heart-stopping adventure that's all battles, conundrums, and unexpected growth as she faces the ultimate battle for survival!

[A god is a paradox.] This is the theme of the novel, [Hero's Downfall], which Arcine wrote for funsies and laughs. The novel was a piece of satire as glorious as it was horrendous, with shallow characters, petty squabbles, and black-and-white villains and heroes. There was no depth whatsoever. And yet people kept reading until the very end, bound by the idea that the entire novel was a big joke. Life would make a similar joke on our trash author Arcine. Plagued by three different types of cancer, paralyzed from the waist down, and suffering from severe mental degradation at a young age, it was as if everything he had written was being thrown back at him. His suffering would continue even after his death. In a new life. Inside his garbage-tier novel.

What to do when you suddenly find yourself a measly cannon fodder in someone else’s ridiculous love story? If it was our dear mc Riley, she would of course, tear them all into shreds and replace them as the main character herself! How good would it be if things could be that easy? Unfortunately, with the Self-Saving System by her side not to save the day but to tell her not to do this and that, Riley’s movement was greatly limited. She could only choose from the System’s carefully-selected multiple choice but… 1. Seduce the Second Male Lead 2. Seduce the Second Male Lead 3. Seduce the Second Male Lead “…” Riley : System, are you sure you’re supposed to be giving me choices? With limited resources, hilarious pop-up instructions, and an absolute story line that kept leading her straight to her doom, will Riley be able to dodge all the Death Flags rushing her way and survive till the end of the story? No matter what, she’s determined to become the main character of her own story!

Xandria Alcove, heiress to a billion-dollar empire, dreams of living a normal life, complete with first love and sweet romance. The only problem? Her four overprotective brothers. From hacking into her dates’ profiles to staging ghostly pranks in VR escape rooms, Marcus, Dante, Julian, and Theo will stop at nothing to keep suitors away. When Xandria falls for Ethan Soren, a charming young entrepreneur and fellow student at her school who is hiding secrets of his own, sparks fly—and not just between them. With her brothers’ constant interference and Ethan's dark past catching up, Xandria finds herself torn between loyalty, love, and her own dreams of freedom. Can she stand up to her brother’s iron grip and prove her love is worth fighting for, or will their meddling cost her everything? A hilarious, heartwarming romantic comedy where family chaos meets forbidden love—perfect for fans of sweet romance with a twist!

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

When Carl Suis, a fresh zoology graduate, lands an internship with MECCP (Mythical and Endangered Creatures Care and Protection), he expects to work with exotic animals—not be magically whisked into Mythica, a realm brimming with dragons, mermaids, and other magical creatures. What starts as a dream job quickly spirals into chaos. Feeding creatures is the least of Carl’s worries as he tackles ecosystem meltdowns, interspecies feuds, and cultural clashes straight out of a fantasy fever dream. Forget the myths—these creatures are nothing like the books said. With Mythica’s fragile world teetering on collapse and MECCP’s future at stake, Carl must rely on his zoological skills, quick thinking, and unexpected allies to save the day. But in this unpredictable land, survival means embracing the wild—and the wildly hilarious—at every turn. Can Carl protect this magical world, or will his internship be his last adventure?

Welcome to the kingdom of Blundertopia, where logic takes a vacation and chaos reigns supreme! Meet Sir Wrongalot, a clumsy knight armed with a bent pool noodle and an unshakable (though completely unwarranted) sense of confidence. Alongside his trusty goat Buttercup—who wears a mushroom as a hat—and a band of equally ridiculous misfits, Sir Wrongalot embarks on quests so absurd, even the gods are confused. From stealing royal biscuits to orchestrating a British teaparty under siege by giant pigeons, no task is too foolish for this ragtag crew. With each chapter more hilariously nonsensical than the last, Stupid will have you laughing, groaning, and questioning how such a book even exists. If you’re ready for a story filled with exploding teapots, biscuit battles, and a goat that may or may not be the true hero, then grab a bo’ele of woter and dive into the stupidity. Because sometimes, life’s greatest adventures are also its dumbest. Warning: This book contains excessive silliness, questionable logic, and one very smug goat. Proceed with caution (and snacks).

Fu Xiang's body jolted in anger."I will kill you". He spat. "I will make sure you and your family rot in hell, it's the only place fit for the likes of you". Zhao An Na laughed, lips curved in a taunting smirk to him Fu Xiang's words sounded like a joke and it might have well been one, if you were threatened by someone chained like an animal and as skinny as a skeleton, you too would think it was a joke. "Pray tell me how would you, you would be dead in a couple of days," Zhao An Na said. "Or maybe weeks if you are lucky". He added after some thinking. "Even if I have to crawl out from the out of hell, I promise you that I will make your life a nightmare," Fu Xiang said. "I would love to see you try" Zhao An Na smirked. " ****** Fu Xiang, a rising beta actor, seemed to have it all – a loving boyfriend, a loyal friend, a supportive family, and fame. However, his life took a dark turn when he uncovered a buried secret from his past. Betrayed by his closest confidants, he endured torment before his passing. Reborn as Feng Mei Hui, an omega heir to a multi-billion-dollar company, Fu Xiang seeks closure and faces the challenge of confronting those who wronged him. His only potential ally is Han Yichen, his supposed fiancé. Will Fu Xiang find it in his heart to trust again and open up to Han Yichen, or will the darkness of vengeance consume him entirely?

Seojoon has always been the target of bullies at school, ridiculed for his weight and low self-esteem. His life is a daily struggle of avoiding confrontation, hiding behind baggy clothes, and enduring harsh jokes. But everything changes after a humiliating

The king is dead. As the empire mourns its lost, Princess Cadence vows revenge and makes an alliance with Commander Demi Nassa to help exact it. The plan is simple, help the princess find her father's killer but it's not going to be that easy. As the investigation into the attack begins, a more sinister plot is uncovered, and they want more than the royal family killed. Now Demi and her crew must find and stop the threat before it risks destroying everything, and they are woefully and hilariously outnumbered and outgunned.

The first six chapters are about MCs past life. It can avoided as it wouldn't have any effect at the beginning of the story. ---- In a room that is dimly lit not by an electric bulb but by an esoteric object. An infant about 6 months old lying in a cradle. Just by looking at him one could see clear traces of confusion in his face. 'What is this?...' He couldn't understand, as his memories are fuzzy, yet he realizes he knows things that he shouldn't know, things that didn't make sense, thinking in a language that he didn't even know the name of. In a magical world filled with esoteric flora and fauna where Magus, Weapon wielders and Martial artists reign, it's the story of a boy, Jayce, growing up trying to find a balance between his emotions and hyper-rational thinking he obtained from the 'knowledge' and 'awareness' he inherited as an infant, which forces him to analyze and decide everything in an overly rational manner.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can. 11/21/24 I only just noticed that the webnovel reader changes my formatting. I was using an extra space between paragraphs to denote a scene change. Please leave a comment if you find any confusing parts. 11/30/24 I'm going on a trip I've been planning for a while in a couple days. I will try to keep writing and publishing while I'm away, but I expect a slower pace.

Everyone thought I was a retarded fool, but little did they know I was fighting the first battle of my life against an ancient being inhabiting my body and wanting to swallow my soul. A battle between a reincarnator and a transmigrator. It took me eighteen years to finally overcome the ancient being and devour his soul. Now that I’ve regained control of my body, those who wanted me dead, those who trampled on me, will pay with their lives. I vowed only to realize I was poison, not to have meridians to cultivate. But from the memory of the ancient being, a new path was created for me: The Path of Array Formation. In this world, battle is not only fought using swords and knives. It can be fought using Array Formations, and I’ll show them how it’s done. For this is the rise of God of Formation, and the world would never remain the same. ******* Join my discord server: https://discord.gg/ckmtX6Yac7

In modern times, a charming female musician somehow had her soul transmigrated and was then forced to become a "public" disciple of the Second Immortal Sect. Helplessly and shamelessly, she got involved in the chaos among the Six Realms. Since she had changed from an excellent and law-abiding citizen to a criminal, and was born a useless dreg in the path of cultivating immortality, did she still need to have a bottom line in life? Who says that the Great Way is ruthless? Those silly guys are actually having a harmonious and enjoyable time together. Our immortal-cultivating life: Hilarious! Defying the heavens! Full of joy! And with a touch of slyness!

Kazuo Tanaka, an ordinary high school student, meets a bizarre fate: after an accident involving laxatives, a yakuza, and a truck, he dies and meets a beautiful but mocking goddess. She gives him a weird power as a joke: he can level up by pooping. Reborn as a kid in a magical world, Kazuo now Andreas, is the only one with this power, tries to turn this embarrassing ability into his superpower.

Noted! is a humorous, slice-of-life comedy that follows a 16-year-old high schooler who hasn’t spoken in years due to a traumatic past. Communicating only through a beat-up notebook, the main character navigates the chaos of high school life with a quirky group of friends who are anything but ordinary. From the overly dramatic Julian, the walking encyclopedia Milo, the mischievous Luca, to the kind and patient Lila, the group’s adventures are filled with hilarious moments and unpredictable antics. Each chapter brings a new, random, and funny scenario—whether it’s a disastrous talent show performance, a museum field trip gone wrong, or a group project that turns into an absurd disaster. Despite the comedic chaos, the novel also explores themes of friendship, self-expression, and the quiet, yet powerful, bond that forms between the MC and their friends. In a world full of noise, this group learns that even silence can be a form of communication—and sometimes, the most memorable moments come from the most unexpected places.

Ready to make people laugh out loud? How to Be a Good Comedy Author is your ultimate guide to writing comedy that’s fresh, absurd, and completely unpredictable. Whether you’re new to writing or just want to sharpen your humor, this book will take you through the essentials of creating comedy that sticks. Packed with practical tips, hilarious examples, and a whole lot of nonsense, this guide will teach you how to craft absurd situations, develop lovably ridiculous characters, and use timing to deliver punchlines that leave readers laughing. From creating random, surreal moments to embracing the chaos of comedy writing, you’ll learn how to make every page more ridiculous than the last. Forget the rules—this book is all about having fun with your writing, breaking boundaries, and making your audience laugh till they cry. Get ready to turn your wildest ideas into comedic gold!

In a world where magic cards determine power and prestige, Dekan, a 15-year-old card maker with unmatched skill, unintentionally creates cards that disrupt the very foundation of the Royal Capital’s elite Hevenlit Magic Academy. Armed with his unorthodox creativity and a knack for designing hilariously overpowered yet bizarre cards, Dekan sets out on a journey to master his craft, make a fortune, and live a carefree life. But as his seemingly innocent creations turn the world of magic upside down, Dekan finds himself at the center of chaos—gaining allies, enemies, and an unshakable reputation along the way. With exams to conquer, rivalries to face, and Shadow Worlds threatening the kingdom, Dekan must prove that even the most unconventional methods can lead to legendary success. Funny, thrilling, and full of surprises, this is a tale of ingenuity, ambition, and the magic of thinking outside the deck. This is a translation . Original- https://www.ciweimao.com/book/100315868

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Artie had lived her whole life feeling like a joke. Whether it came to her full name, her parents ‘abandoning’ her and her next door neighbours taking her in, or finding out that her lover was part of a cult and was cheating on her. Said lover then stabbed her. It felt like she just couldn’t catch a break. So when she found herself in a puddle of her own blood, staring up at a fake painted sky, she could only find humour in the situation, and prayed that the next life was kinder. Only she woke up. In the same body, with the same stab wound, only in a world full of magic, swords, and a dead King Arthur? Yup. The round table existed, the knights existed, and so did everyone of legend that she’d heard about as a child. Only it was the beginning of their tales. Nothing had happened yet, except the formation of Camelot, the crowning of the King, and then the sudden death of the King of Legend, King Arthur Pendragon. She would have thought this was another cruel joke if everyone wasn’t wandering around in mourning clothes. If this was a practical joke, it wasn’t a very funny one. Artie was tired. She’d already spent almost a decade working as a police officer, and then a detective, so she felt like she had earned her peace. Especially after all the shit she’d been put through, but someone had different plans. And Artie’s life wasn’t quite done yet. In fact, it seemed like in the eyes of the creatures of this world, this was where she was always meant to be. The time she spent getting her ass handed to her in the other dimension? Just a warm up. And now she was expected to just…go along with what everyone else wanted her to do? Including magical beings who were responsible for taking her from one dimension to another. Artie felt like she was in over her head, even if there were several concerned, attractive knights around her. She wasn’t sure if she was going to run away from all the new responsibilities, or embrace them. She wasn’t a rule breaker by nature, but maybe now was the time to change?

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HEIR AND HEIRESS OF TWO ENEMIES COMPANY GET MARRIED? ALBEIT BY A SICK JOKE OF FATE? ESPECIALLY ONES WITH AN HISTORY? All Theodosia wanted to do was get married for duty. Never did she think she`ll be getting married to her ex lover of ten years ago, who happens to be her greatest enemy!!! hell in handbasket

Reincarnated into the chaotic Warring States period of the Naruto universe, Hao is not your typical ninja. He’s got a Shaman King system that lets him merge with spirits and wield chakra like never before. With the powers and combat experience of Hao Asuka, he’s ready to make waves—both in battle and in the comical drama between the Senju and Uchiha clans. Hao’s plan? To establish a Shaman Clan that can rival the mightiest in history. But first, he’ll have to deal with an overenthusiastic Hashirama and a brooding Madara. Expect hilarious interactions as these three unlikely allies butt heads and try to save the world from the Celestial Clan—a group of high-and-mighty beings who don’t take kindly to being bossed around by mere mortals. Will Hao rewrite history? Or will he just end up being the punchline of it? Get ready for a wild, funny ride through a ninja world where spirits, chakra, and comedy collide. ---

Ignis, a weary priest with shaky faith, battles demons and curses armed only with a rosary, holy water, and an unrelenting dark humor. Amid supernatural struggles and mental chaos, he discovers that even in hell, there’s room for irony. Facing horrors and secrets far beyond his grasp, Ignis must fight not just against evil, but against himself. "A Hell of a Job" blends dark fantasy, sarcasm, and the supernatural in a chaotic yet hilarious adventure.

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!