Voldemort Jokes

"I think am in love with Ishtar's husband," Nadia Browne said suddenly, and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Sage, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

Many people wish to escape this boring life, or rather, everyone does. I was no different. But back then, I hadn’t been summoned to another world. It didn’t take long for us to realize that this place was a true hell. Covered in blood, Avinash screamed, “One day, I’ll have them all beneath my feet!” Hero? What a joke.

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

Heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating with his colleague on Valentine's Day, Anya impulsively proposes to a stranger in a fit of rage. The stranger, a charming and enigmatic man, accepts her proposal without hesitation. As Anya grapples with the consequences of her impulsive decision, she discovers that her "husband" is not just a random passerby, but someone with a mysterious and powerful connection to her life. He's not just a stranger; he's her boyfriend's boss, a man known for his wealth and influence, but who has kept his true identity hidden from Anya. Now, trapped in a web of lies and deceit, Anya must navigate the treacherous waters of her unexpected marriage while uncovering the truth about her "husband" and his hidden agenda.

Tom. A friend. Not a foe. A friend. (made for an inside joke)

Morgan Lovecraft had a problem. The world hated him for what he was, and what he could do.Saved by Duke Kinson, Morgan finds a new life in the world of Dunnishire. Orphaned as a young teenager, he finds himself in a new world where making friends was easy. That all came crashing down the day he turned sixteen and found out he not only had a death affinity, but he was also a necromancer. For a time, all necromancers were put down before they could gain levels or power.Morgan was born after that nonsense, but many of the old prejudices and hatred were still prevalent. Going from having friends to being an outcast once again, he hopes his scholarship to the Mages Academy will be a new turning point for him and a way to redeem himself.Most people think of necromancer’s as beings of great power who could raise up hordes of the undead to do their bidding. Well, yes, that part was true. But necromancers were a fantastic utility class that could be both DPS as well as some minor healing and maybe… just maybe… cast resurrections.All his planning, hopes, and dreams go out the window the first day of classes, when he is challenged to an honor duel. Making mortal enemies five minutes after walking into school? Being asked by the duchy to speak to the dead for them? Help them solve an assassination plot, corruption of public officials? Not wanting to be in the spotlight, the former Earth gamer finds himself right on center stage as he becomes The Duchy’s Necromancer!What this book is: A fantasy LitRPG GameLit progression based storyline. There are grownups in this book who act like grownups. They drink, they swear, they make bad jokes, and they fall in love. What’s not in this book? Harems. Sex scenes. Graphic or otherwise. There are plenty of jokes and innuendo about it, however.

My name is Ralph, you already know my life story. I'll bet you've met 7 other guys who share it. Bright ideals crushed by the weight of reality. As inevitable as it was cruel. And yet when that miserable life was meant to reach its end, I was given another chance. A chance to live again as the spoiled princess of a fantasy kingdom. If I'm honest, it felt a bit like the universe was playing a cruel joke on me. Still I had to persevere, or what, would I just waste my life again?

After spending too much time in front of the tv. I realized that my life was a joke. I ruined my apartment. Messed up and in tears. The TV flickered on with a bizarre message... "You've been selected for the Intergalactic Game Show!" Before I could realize what it meant, I was slammed through 3 floors of my apartment building, and taken into space. Abducted, and forced into sick games. If only I knew what would happen sooner...

The "Future Glimpse" app was initially a joke. A harmless trend, fueled by bored social media users and influencers looking for a quirky new angle. You’d type in your question, shake your phone, and the app, with its cheesy, swirling galaxy background, would spit out a cryptic prediction. Most were vague, almost poetic - "A journey begins with forgotten steps," or "Beware the whispers of the raven's flight." Harmless fun.

well i guess this is it ... wait why wont this world let me die ? is this some kind of joke ?

Tokyo is on edge. A group of terrorists has taken over a massive shopping mall, holding innocent people hostage. The police surround the building, prepared for a long standoff—until the Hero Association arrives. In minutes, a team of elite heroes wipes out the criminals without breaking a sweat. The crowd cheers. The media swarms them for interviews. The heroes smile, crack jokes, and disappear into the night. But not everyone is celebrating. Behind closed doors, the police are furious. The heroes are acting above the law, killing criminals on sight. No arrests. No trials. Just bodies. The police commissioner warns that if this continues, traditional law enforcement will be useless. A cynical detective agrees, but there’s nothing they can do. The world sees the heroes as saviors—but what if they’re just another kind of monster? Meanwhile, in a quiet part of Saitama, high school student Kuroshi Watarabe wakes up from a terrifying nightmare—flames, screams, and a city burning to ashes. But it was just a dream… right? He pushes the thoughts aside and heads to school, where he’s just a regular third-year student, joking with his friends and dodging promises to treat them to food. But that night, everything changes.

Suddenly transported to ancient times, struggling to even get enough to eat? What’s this? Men are dwindling due to war, and the government assigns me a beautiful wife with orders to have a child by next year? And now, foreign invaders are threatening the heartland? No problem! Mastering math, physics, and chemistry means I can thrive anywhere! The unstoppable cavalry of the steppes? The indestructible warships of the pirates? A joke! With knowledge as my weapon, I’ll turn the tide and reshape history!

Drake was a troublemaker with a knack for bad jokes. One of them got him killed. Now, he finds himself in Atheria, a world of magic, mythical creatures, and warring Gods. Equipped with the mysterious System of Chaos—a game-like interface that grants him skills, stats, and quests—Drake must learn to survive in this dangerous new reality. But his arrival hasn't gone unnoticed. The Gods, offended by his irreverent attitude and fearful of his unique system, have marked him for death. To live peacefully (and maybe get some payback), Drake will have to embrace his chaotic nature, master his newfound powers, and challenge the very beings who rule Atheria.

"A thrilling action novel infused with jokes and a touch of life lessons."

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Jason was normal, or as normal as he could be, but one day all that changed. A red pentagram, chanting, and sacrifice brought him to another place another world. He had been summoned, deemed a devil , and asked to grant their wishes..... He at first thought it a joke, but reality soon hit him. He was now something he couldn't wrap his head around, an entity that could be called upon to grant people their requests, but it was not all bad. With enough whit , luck , and deception he indeed fulfilled the role of a devil, thought he didn't really know if he was one.

I was a normal part timer in a small cafe when one day walking down the street a man wearing mask killed me to steal my bag. just when I thought I was going to die a floating screen appears in front of my eyes... [CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN THE NEW WORLD] [4:58 YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE THE DECISION] seriously!!! was my life was not shitty enough that now even at the time of my death these kind of jokes happening with me. in my heart I knew well that things like reincarnation doesn't happen but I have got no Choice. [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE INVITATION] [ ELIJAH VALENTINE: A FAMOUS A* LIST ACTRESS AND MODEL] [PLEASE CLICK HERE TO TET THE MEMORIES

Chi Chi transmigrated 10 whole years ago. It was sudden, but after ten years they settled into an average life in this magical world. Though when they body they are living in matures at age 25, their system unlocks. A system they didn't really want. Though, who isn't tempted by potential super powers. *** Authors Note: Hey guys. I'm started writing this as a joke. Though low and behold it was fun so now I'm taking it seriously.

Omer has a knack for finding humor in the most unexpected places. From his witty comebacks to his lighthearted pranks, Omer's life is a whirlwind of laughter and surprises. But behind his sharp sense of humor lies a deeper story—one of resilience, self-discovery, and connection. "Joke With Omer" is a heartwarming tale that weaves comedy with moments of introspection, as Omer navigates the ups and downs of friendship, love, and the challenges that life throws his way. This book invites readers to see the world through Omer's unique lens, where every situation holds the potential for a laugh and a lesson. Whether it's turning everyday chaos into comedy or uncovering joy in the darkest moments, "Joke With Omer" is a celebration of the healing power of humor and the importance of never taking life too seriously.

My name is Zhang Mo, an eighth-generation peasant. Yesterday, I was peacefully farming when I got drafted by a local sect. Upon arriving at the mountain, I found out that the sect was actually a demonic cult. The worst part? After just one day, they wanted me to be their sect leader. Holy heavens, what kind of cruel joke is this?! —Excerpt from Diary of the Supreme Dark Saint by Zhang the Great Demon, Chapter One

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

[A god is a paradox.] This is the theme of the novel, [Hero's Downfall], which Arcine wrote for funsies and laughs. The novel was a piece of satire as glorious as it was horrendous, with shallow characters, petty squabbles, and black-and-white villains and heroes. There was no depth whatsoever. And yet people kept reading until the very end, bound by the idea that the entire novel was a big joke. Life would make a similar joke on our trash author Arcine. Plagued by three different types of cancer, paralyzed from the waist down, and suffering from severe mental degradation at a young age, it was as if everything he had written was being thrown back at him. His suffering would continue even after his death. In a new life. Inside his garbage-tier novel.

The Earth as you know it is over. Mysterious beings called Spirits are looking for their Emissaries. You can trust no one in this apocalyptic world. Anything can happen at anytime. Laws of Physics are a joke now. Can our heroes survive and uncover the secrets of the universe?

Kazuo Tanaka, an ordinary high school student, meets a bizarre fate: after an accident involving laxatives, a yakuza, and a truck, he dies and meets a beautiful but mocking goddess. She gives him a weird power as a joke: he can level up by pooping. Reborn as a kid in a magical world, Kazuo now Andreas, is the only one with this power, tries to turn this embarrassing ability into his superpower.

Quote of the main character "With Binding system as my trump card, I will become the strongest man in the world and sit on my throne with beautiful women in my arms." What would you do if you died and God transmigrated you to another world? What would you do if Gods and Goddess watches and comments on your adventures? What would you do if you could communicate with Gods and Goddesses? Xiao Ming, the grandson of the Ruler, fell off a cliff when he was training martial arts with his father. When he thought he was dead, he found himself transported to a parallel world where monsters and powerful people ruled the world. Luckily, one of the goddesses gave him a system to help him survive in his new world and achieve his dream. "You awaken the mage class? You awaken the Archer class? You awaken the Knight class?" Xiao Ming behaved normally. "I only need to bind my system to someone and I can awaken that person's class. In other words, I can awaken all three classes." Xiao Ming, the grandson of the Ruler, decides to continue his dream in his new life. Follow him as he embarks on his journey to become the Ruler and bind his system to beautiful women. Warning..... In the early chapters there were lots of jokes about boy toy and sugar mama. I know some of you feel uncomfortable about that. I'm trying to change them, but I can't do it quickly because some of them are related to the story. However, please keep reading. The jokes stopped after they officially became lovers. I don't do that joke anymore. If you keep reading, you might like this book. *** discord server= https://discord.gg/22hqV9gPn3 *Tags=Slice of life, action, MILF, romance, fantasy, adventure, beautiful female leads, handsome male lead, older love interests, harem, multiple identities, secret identity, Elf, R-18, transmigration, magic, knight, archer, demon, Gods, leveling up. *Xiao Ming is the grandson of Xiao Tian, my main novel. * My main novel is Illicit relationship PS: I don't own the cover. I got it from pinterest.

Seojoon has always been the target of bullies at school, ridiculed for his weight and low self-esteem. His life is a daily struggle of avoiding confrontation, hiding behind baggy clothes, and enduring harsh jokes. But everything changes after a humiliating

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HEIR AND HEIRESS OF TWO ENEMIES COMPANY GET MARRIED? ALBEIT BY A SICK JOKE OF FATE? ESPECIALLY ONES WITH AN HISTORY? All Theodosia wanted to do was get married for duty. Never did she think she`ll be getting married to her ex lover of ten years ago, who happens to be her greatest enemy!!! hell in handbasket