Ur Mama Jokes

An Hao bondit, persuadée d'avoir péri, mais à sa grande surprise, lorsqu'elle ouvrit les yeux, elle se retrouva en 1985. Pour vivre une seconde vie, devait-elle à nouveau subir les sévices de sa belle-mère et de sa demi-sœur, le mépris de sa belle-mère et le dédain de sa belle-sœur, ainsi que la trahison de sa meilleure amie qui, osant devenir l'autre femme, voulait juste la gifler et gravir l'échelle sociale? Était-elle censée finir à nouveau sa misérable vie dans la pauvreté? La réponse de An Hao fut, "Mange ! De la merde ! Non !" Elle était déterminée à réussir, à s'enrichir en exploitant ses connaissances et à viser une vie aisée. Cette fois, elle allait être la grande sœur protectrice qui réforme son petit frère inutile qui avait connu une mort misérable, et l'épouse vertueuse pour compenser la négligence passée envers son mari ! Elle ne laisserait pas cette vie se perdre dans le désespoir ! Une meilleure amie malveillante ? Convoiter son homme ? Pas question ! Va donc te rafraîchir ailleurs ! Toux toux, comment n'avait-elle pas réalisé dans sa vie antérieure que ce "Roi des Enfers" stoïque était si indécent. Décents ? Tu t'es donné à cœur joie de décence pendant la journée.

Mo Ran, une médecin de l'Armée extrêmement talentueuse et magnifique, s'est retrouvée transmigrée dans le corps d'une jeune fille méprisée de la famille Qin pesant 130 kilos, Qin Yan. À l'origine dotée de compétences médicales et d'arts martiaux puissants, Mo Ran a eu beaucoup de mal à gérer le corps lourd de Qin Yan. Elle s'est juré de perdre du poids et de retrouver son apparence originale. Peu importe la difficulté, elle était déterminée. Sa méchante mère et sa sœur lotus blanc étaient choquées en voyant les changements chez Qin Yan, mais la gifle venait juste de commencer. Ses plans étaient parfaits, mais un petit bonhomme est soudainement intervenu... "J'aime Sœur Yan. Papa, je veux vivre avec Sœur Yan." Le PDG de la Corporation Xi, le magnat des affaires le plus riche du pays a dit, "Nous deux, Père et fils, t'aimons. Viens chez nous." FL : Forte et déterminée. ML : Rusé et astucieux.

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

I stood still as I was in front of the cold man before me. I stared with a firm gaze as I looked for words to say. "I admit, Jordan is your son." I said with a firm gaze and his eyes were on me as I spoke. "So you spent the whole fvcking 5 years not even telling me." he snickered and I looked at him with so much fright. "But we both know you are a beast and you don't have a heart, so please, let me just take my son and we will be out of you're life." I said and held little Jordan in my hands. Quickly, I turned to leave but as I was about to walk out, his next words put me in a halt. "You are not going anywhere with my son. I will take care of him weather you like it or not." he insisted with a cold glare, restricting my movement. I knew I was not going to get anywhere with an argument with him. He was death; a beast; always having his ways in things he does and I knew I couldn't fight him. For a moment I thought. Maybe I should leave Jordan with him, then come visit him. That would be quite right and easy for me. I gathered some courage and now spoke, "Fine then, I'll just come and visit him. So please, take good care of him." I muttered, and the fact that guilt is eating me for all of those years I spent not telling him made me say those exact words. "Visit? Who said you will just be visiting him? You will come and live with him." he said with a husky voice and fear gripped me. "No never, I will never go back there again." I sneered and quickly turned to hurry off, but he grabbed my hands, pulling me back and trapping me against the wall. I could feel the heat of his body so close to mine, and his domineering gaze lowering on me making my heart race while I stared right into his eyes he boldly locked on mine. "It's either you come or die then, Mia." he said and smirked. For a moment, I forgot to breath. •••••••• It has always been hard for Mia Hills as she was working for her grandmother. She was an orphan and lived with her sick grandmother, trying so hard to pay for her grandmother's medical bills. Out of desperation she went to DEATH a deadly man who was ruthless and cold. She did one thing she didn't want to do; she sold her virginity to the beast in exchange for money. After her one stand with death she promised herself that she'd never get linked to death again but when she found out that she is pregnant, her world turned out to be crumbling. Not just any child but DEATH'S CHILD.

Anna's world was crumbling. Her mother's life was fading away, and the medical bills were choking her. In desperation, she made a decision that would cost her a lifetime: a decision to become a baby mama for the wealthy and jerky Adams Winthrop. Adams, the sole heir of the Winthrop Fashion Empire, needed an heir to secure his inheritance. But with his playboy lifestyle and lack of interest in commitment, finding a willing partner seemed impossible. That was until he laid eyes on Anna at the clubhouse. She was in dire need of cash, and he needed a baby. It was a match made of convenience, not love, or so they thought. As the months went by, Anna found herself falling head over heels for the charming and captivating Adams. But could she truly fall for a man who only wanted her for her womb?

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

little boy cried" mama mama papa where are we going" he sniffed "Carlos baby don't cry mama is here for you" she said " Stop playing around with that kid Margaret and pack the bags" father said  "mama papa please i do not want to go anywhere i want to stay here with Janette"the little boy thats not up to 10 years old "Carlos where we are going to you would find new friends infact more than a hundred friends" she said "Mama but i really like Janette she really friendly"the boy said  "They are here " the father said                                "Open the door or we will break it down" the village judge said "Honey what are we going to do"she said              "You and Carlos go through the back door ill b right behind you"   "  Honey I can't leave u here " she said "I said go now!"

"Kamu pikir dengan menyembuhkanku akan membuatku lebih mencintaimu?" Dia mencemooh sambil menarik rambutku keras-keras saat ia menyeretku menuju pintu. "Kamu menyakitiku, Xavier," aku menangis memukul-mukulnya dengan lemah. Tak banyak yang bisa kulakukan. "Jika aku melihatmu sedekat satu inci dari diriku lagi," dia melemparku ke dinding "aku akan melupakan konsekuensinya dan membunuhmu,". *** Pasangan dan aku memang ditakdirkan untuk saling membenci, hanya tindakan cinta sejati atau pengorbanan dari pasangan yang lebih kuat yang bisa membetulkan takdir kami, tapi selama tujuh tahun, aku harus menahan siksaan dan cinta semu pasanganku hingga suatu hari aku memutuskan untuk pergi. Aku pergi, bertekad untuk terus tersembunyi darinya selamanya... tetapi beberapa minggu kemudian, aku mengetahui bahwa aku hamil.

"Você achou que me curar faria com que eu te amasse mais?" Ele zombou, agarrando meu cabelo enquanto me arrastava em direção à porta. "Você está me machucando, Xavier," eu chorei, batendo nele fracamente. Não havia muito que eu pudesse fazer. "Se eu te ver a uma polegada de distância de mim," Ele me jogou contra a parede "Eu desafio as consequências e te mato,". *** Minha companheira e eu estávamos destinados a nos odiar, apenas um ato de amor verdadeiro ou altruísmo do companheiro mais forte poderia colocar nossos destinos no caminho certo, mas durante sete anos, eu tive que suportar o abuso do meu companheiro e seu suposto amor da vida dele até que um dia decidi partir. Parti, determinada a ficar escondida dele para sempre... mas descobri que estava grávida algumas semanas depois.

"Dachtest du, wenn du mich heilst, würde ich dich mehr lieben?" Spöttisch packte er mich an den Haaren, während er mich zur Tür zog. "Du tust mir weh, Xavier", weinte ich und schlug schwach gegen ihn. Es gab nicht viel, was ich tun konnte. "Wenn ich dich jemals auch nur einen Zentimeter in meiner Nähe sehe", warf er mich gegen die Wand, "werde ich die Konsequenzen verdammen und dich töten. *** Mein Gefährte und ich waren dazu bestimmt, einander zu hassen, nur ein Akt wahrer Liebe oder Selbstlosigkeit des stärkeren Gefährten konnte unsere Schicksale auf den richtigen Weg bringen, aber sieben Jahre lang musste ich die Misshandlungen meines Gefährten und seine vermeintliche Liebe seines Lebens ertragen, bis ich eines Tages beschloss zu gehen. Ich ging, entschlossen, mich für immer vor ihm zu verstecken... aber ein paar Wochen später fand ich heraus, dass ich schwanger war.

a man who falls in love with a golden Ball I wish I was joking

"Did you think healing me would make me love you more?" He scoffed grabbing my hair as he pulled me towards the door. "You're hurting me, Xavier," I cried beating against him weakly. There was not much I could do. "If I ever see you an inch close to me," He threw me against the wall "I'll damn the consequences and kill you,". *** My mate and I were destined to hate each other, only an act of true love or selflessness from the stronger mate could set our destines on the right path but for seven years, I had to put up with my mate's abuse and his supposed love of his life until one day I decided to leave. I left, determined to stay hidden from him forever... but I found out I was pregnant few weeks later.

little boy cried" mama mama papa where are we going" he sniffed "Carlos baby don't cry mama is here for you" she said " Stop playing around with that kid Margaret and pack the bags" father said  "mama papa please i do not want to go anywhere i want to stay here with Janette"the little boy thats not up to 10 years old "Carlos where we are going to you would find new friends infact more than a hundred friends" she said "Mama but i really like Janette she really friendly"the boy said  "They are here " the father said                                "Open the door or we will break it down" the village judge said "Honey what are we going to do"she said              "You and Carlos go through the back door ill b right behind you"   "  Honey I can't leave u here " she said "I said go now!"

Seojoon has always been the target of bullies at school, ridiculed for his weight and low self-esteem. His life is a daily struggle of avoiding confrontation, hiding behind baggy clothes, and enduring harsh jokes. But everything changes after a humiliating

"Why can't you come back? My heart beats only for you. Your sight alone quenches my thirst and hunger. Come back to me and I'll accommodate both you and your daughter," he broke into a weak sob "Come back to me, lest I die," he breathed heavily, holding his chest as he voiced the words "Oh, Edward!" Her rehearsed self-control slipped from its firm stand "I want nothing more but to stand in your arms forever," she sighed, "But I'm no more the girl you used to love, I'm a Prostitute." Orphaned Roxanne, manages to land a job as a cleaner in a very prestigious company after four years of waiting helplessly. But this job comes with many tasking responsibilities that keep her forever on her toes. One of them being the fact that she has to keep herself from drowning in the grumpy CEO's lusty bed However, withholding herself from falling into lusty temptation isn't the only struggle she has to face, as she is doomed to find out that the secret of her birth family has been lying beneath her nose, that her moral self-control against lust has slipped out of place and given way to a seed that has zero chance of knowing a father and that there is a concentratedly dangerous killer who would not rest until she has been reduced to ashes.

first story idea popped up thought I'd run with it for jokes an whatnot so let's see how it does

Quote of the main character "With Binding system as my trump card, I will become the strongest man in the world and sit on my throne with beautiful women in my arms." What would you do if you died and God transmigrated you to another world? What would you do if Gods and Goddess watches and comments on your adventures? What would you do if you could communicate with Gods and Goddesses? Xiao Ming, the grandson of the Ruler, fell off a cliff when he was training martial arts with his father. When he thought he was dead, he found himself transported to a parallel world where monsters and powerful people ruled the world. Luckily, one of the goddesses gave him a system to help him survive in his new world and achieve his dream. "You awaken the mage class? You awaken the Archer class? You awaken the Knight class?" Xiao Ming behaved normally. "I only need to bind my system to someone and I can awaken that person's class. In other words, I can awaken all three classes." Xiao Ming, the grandson of the Ruler, decides to continue his dream in his new life. Follow him as he embarks on his journey to become the Ruler and bind his system to beautiful women. Warning..... In the early chapters there were lots of jokes about boy toy and sugar mama. I know some of you feel uncomfortable about that. I'm trying to change them, but I can't do it quickly because some of them are related to the story. However, please keep reading. The jokes stopped after they officially became lovers. I don't do that joke anymore. If you keep reading, you might like this book. *** discord server= https://discord.gg/22hqV9gPn3 *Tags=Slice of life, action, MILF, romance, fantasy, adventure, beautiful female leads, handsome male lead, older love interests, harem, multiple identities, secret identity, Elf, R-18, transmigration, magic, knight, archer, demon, Gods, leveling up. *Xiao Ming is the grandson of Xiao Tian, my main novel. * My main novel is Illicit relationship PS: I don't own the cover. I got it from pinterest.

Il est une menace pour son existence. Un dragon fougueux de sang royal, le Roi Malachi est pris en otage par les humains qu'il méprise tant. Privé de sa liberté, il est emprisonné dans une cave sombre, sa colère croissant avec chaque jour de torture et d'humiliation. La seule lumière qu'il voit vient sous la forme d'une femme humaine, offrant ses soins. Une femme qui le fait brûler d'une fureur et d'un désir égaux. Une femme qui n'a pas sa place dans son cœur ou dans son esprit, car une seule pensée le soutient. Vengeance ! Et même si sa gentillesse adoucit son cœur et que son toucher met son corps en flammes, elle ne sera pas épargnée par sa colère. Car une fois qu'il brisera les chaînes de l'esclavage, il réduira en cendres tout son monde. Elle est la clé de sa liberté. La glaciale princesse Ravina est une femme avec une mission. Éradiquer la race des dragons de la surface de la terre. Mais lorsqu'elle découvre que les créatures mêmes qui ont tué ses parents pourraient également être celles qui ont enlevé sa sœur, elle n'a d'autre choix que de changer ses plans. Pour retrouver sa sœur, elle doit se rapprocher de la créature qu'elle méprise. Mais les choses ne se déroulent pas toujours comme prévu et bientôt Ravina se retrouve avec plus que ce pour quoi elle avait négocié. Coincée dans une bataille entre humains et dragons, l'amour et la haine, la confiance et la trahison, Ravina doit faire chaque choix avec prudence. Et à chaque pas qu'elle fait vers la bête de feu, elle risque de faire fondre la glace qui entoure son cœur et d'être consumée par les flammes de la fureur et de la passion.

"Aimée, dès maintenant, je veux que tu deviennes ma Compagne, et tu ne peux pas me rejeter !" Aimée, une oméga de la meute Lune Rouge, est le membre le plus faible qui manque de capacité à communiquer avec son loup, et elle ne sait pas non plus qui est son compagnon destiné. La proposition faite par Alpha James oblige Aimée à accepter avec résignation. Quel sera le destin d'Aimée ?

I was instructed to not tell him.... I don't understand why he isn't allowed to know. He has every right to know. I unfortunately have to listen to my father and Dumbledore on the matter. My name is Iris Elizabeth Snape and this is how Harry finds out he has a sister.

she's ugly, Ronald said, what?? ur crush is ugly?? Sam asked, yh she is ...... without the "gly"Sam looked into his green eyes in surprise realizing what he meant. What happens when she falls in love with this new guy while her long life yearning crush finally asks her out

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A story of every little girl becoming a mature woman Let's find out the story of LILY and her journey to unleash exactly what LOVE is......? Authors Note: I am trying to write this story as simple as it seems if any of the situations are linked or happened in anyone's life, it's simply a coincidence finally, share ur opinions

"Ayoko Mama! Dito lang ako. 'Tsaka Ma, sino 'yang bestfriend mong 'yan? Baka patayin din ako tulad ng ginawa mo sa akin kanina Mama," mariing tutol ko sa gusto ni Mama. "No, Dos. That's final. Nakausap ko na siya kanina at nagkasundo na kami. Ihahatid ka bukas ni Aya doon. Huwag kang mag-alala, mabait 'yon basta matino ka," sabay ngisi sa akin ni Mama. Ano kayang naghihintay kay Dos sa mansion kasama ang babaeng magpapatino sa kanya?

"Miles," I said again, my voice a bit shaky now. "Why did you bring me here?" He turned to face me, his expression suddenly serious. He stepped closer, and I felt my back press against the cold wall behind me. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. "I like you," he whispered. My mind went blank. For a few seconds, I just stood there, staring at him, not sure if I had heard him right. Then, out of nowhere, I burst out laughing. It wasn’t that I didn’t take him seriously; I just didn’t know how else to react. Miles was not the type of person to confess his feelings like that. This had to be a joke, right? "Miles, you—" I started, but before I could finish, he grabbed me by the collar and kissed me. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. It was rough, almost desperate. I froze, my mind reeling. This couldn’t be happening. But it was. His lips were on mine, his body pressed against me. For a moment, I was too shocked to do anything, but then I shoved him away with all the strength I had left, my heart racing in my chest. "What the hell, Miles?" I shouted, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and confusion. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression calm, too calm. "I’m sorry," he said quietly. "It was just a joke." "The plot revolves around Miles and leo, two high school boys who were once friends but are now just strangers. But what happens when, one day, Miles kisses leo and tells him that he likes him? But it's just a joke....? What the heck! Leo didn't like this joke at all.

well i guess this is it ... wait why wont this world let me die ? is this some kind of joke ?

Lily est la fille d'un Beta. Et son âme sœur ? C'est le fils aîné des Alphas. Lorsqu'ils découvrent ce qu'ils sont l'un pour l'autre, il est un peu trop tard. Car son bien-aimé mate est rentré chez lui avec sa honte. Une louve qu'il a mise enceinte pendant qu'il s'entraînait dans le nord pendant l'été. Il a brisé leur lune. Mais la louve a un secret. Et Lily n'a pas l'intention de la laisser s'en tirer aussi facilement après avoir volé ce qui lui appartient. ** Cette histoire est pleine de rebondissements qui vous feront pleurer, rire, vous mettre en colère, jeter des téléphones, etc. C'est un voyage que vous adorerez, incapable de vous détacher de Lily, Eve et Zain. J'espère que vous aussi vous aimerez l'histoire et accepterez l'invitation à entreprendre un voyage qui vous laissera comblés et vous mettra un sourire aux lèvres.

In a small African village, Ayo abandons her newborn daughter, Abeni, out of fear of societal shame. Abeni is rescued by a villager and taken to a motherless babies' home, where she is adopted by the loving Adewale family. Years later, Ayo, now married and childless, befriends Mama Adewale, only to discover that Abeni is her long-lost daughter. Torn between joy and regret, Ayo reveals her past to Abeni, who grapples with her identity and love for both mothers. As Abeni embraces her complex origins, Ayo and Mama Adewale unite in their shared love for her, creating a new family dynamic that highlights forgiveness, healing, and the unbreakable bonds of love.

A story about a guy who is pretty much stays in the house all day. A story about a guy who is really boring. A story about a guy who is just a dumbass. Would you hear his stories? Would you laugh at his lame jokes?( Tf u mean No!) Gimme your hand and join us in a really boring journey.

making you smile is top priority, smile always.