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Jokes Of Sex

Isekai Customer Service Is A Joke!

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"
kappe · 11.4K Views

Ascension of the Goddess of Decay

Hello, everyone. If you're reading this, you may have read my other stories. I'm starting this one as a bit of a "getting back into it" story. (The synopsis will be further down) Both stories I've written will continue in the near future. (I have to re-read them because I've experienced a massive bout of memory loss.) Apologies for those of you waiting, but I had unavoidable circumstances that impeded my writing experiences. The cover isn't mine but it's been lightly photoshopped. If you want it taken down, tell me. (Signed by Author on April 25th, 2023) Anyways, time for the synopsis: Lia was a simple girl in her previous life. Well not really, considering she was the hit woman for the largest mafia organization that operated within the United States. Over the years, her exceedingly high kill count, and overall success rate was something to be afraid of. Her personality was something akin to pure confidence, bordering on arrogance. She dealt with people the same way she did her enemies. By ruining their lives in the most horrific ways. IE: Setting them up for FBI investigations, having their houses repossessed by the government, or even having them framed for a serious crime. Lia was someone that no one wanted to ever cross. If you did cross her, you might as well have signed your own death certificate! That was until she was smacked in the head by a falling piano. While following through on a hit, no less! I mean, come on! A piano?! that's unfathomably crazy. Well, despite getting hit by a literal piano, she still managed to finish the job. But the very next day, she choked on a sandwich and nearly died! Her luck seemed to have literally bottomed out. This "streak of bad luck" had continued in her life for years! Literal years! She had come so close to dying so many times that she was genuinely confused as to how this could happen to someone! From falling down a flight of stairs to nearly breaking her neck during a cartwheel (despite having so much experience that she could do them with her eyes closed.) Lia had experienced so many near-death experiences that she had become entirely immune to the weird circumstances happening around her. Eventually, the bad luck did catch her. She was minding her own business, walking through the streets of Seattle when a coin rolled across the ground and tripped someone else, who dropped an umbrella, which she tripped over. Her fall had her land directly into the flow of moving traffic. She was then hit by a small square-body pickup truck. It had a small sticker of a smug smiling face attached to its front bumper. Lia had died because of what was essentially a coin. A coin had actually managed to kill a human being. Not just any human, but one of the most feared people within the US. Warnings for all readers: -This novel will (at some point) contain lesbian sex scenes. -System tag doesn't mean in the most literal way. (you'll find out more if you read it.) -This may become a Yuri harem novel (haven't decided.) -Will contain very strong LGBTQ+ themes
Rhasha_Trulin · 187K Views

king of

The twelve year old prince was just coronated as the king after his father's death.A rebellion took place and all the members of the royal family was killed but it was rumored that the king escaped. Teri,the 7 year old of the son of the great general was rumored of being a half ghost and interacts with ghost.He was called the weaver.He was the second weaver after centuries in his family bloodline.He was born dead and was buried in a box but his mother heard the baby cries from underneath the ground and dug the box out.with shock,the baby was still alive with red threads on his fingers.The rest that was with her ran away but she kept the child and the red threads choose him. Teri's father,the great general refused to serve the new king.He showed Teri a box which contained three objects that will find their owners just as the red threads found him.He gave it to his second daughter,Darlene who was 11 years old and told his wife to escape with the children to a faraway place.The great general was then killed after his family escaped.The constables looked for his family but couldn't find them. His wife found about his death days later.As a woman with no source of income and three children,she remarried. The happy days were little as Teri's step father hated that Teri could interacts with ghost so he gave him a poisoned pastry which made him blind.But still ,he hated him and wanted to kill him but his mother intervened and was killed. He heard his mother scream and his first sister's ghost,Selena,told him what have happened.With fury,Teri killed his stepfather and destroyed his mansion.He ran away with his sisters, Selena's ghost,Darlene and elley,his little sister who was 5 years old Years has passed,17 year old Teri still has the items in the box.The sword,for the king of the former dynasty,the red whip and the flexible spear. would he be able to find the owners of the items?
Dgirlblusky · 35K Views
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