Punchlines

As a kid, Grandma's stories were all about a lovesick maid and a prince, thwarted by a villain who never quit. But here I am, waking up in a princess gown that weighs a ton, with flaming red hair and eyes like bling-bling. Seriously, universe? Turns out, I'm Meredia Seraphine Valtoria, the forgettable princess of Dukedom Saltorra. The punchline? I'm already dead in this story, a ghostly cameo before it even starts! Thanks, fate. But no more Miss Nice Princess. Royalty? Nah. Impending doom? Not my scene. With the finesse of a startled squirrel, I'm hightailing it-from that pesky villain and this ridiculous plotline.

"Speaking of knowing things…" Kyle said slowly, "You still haven't given me a chance to tell my story." "I know," said Andrea. "I was having too much fun speculating. Finding you like this is a gift, and I don't want to tear the wrapping off all at once. ‘Building up the anticipation makes it better.’" Kyle blinked again, then gave a quiet snort of recognition at his own words being thrown back at him. "So what is your speculation?" Kyle asked. "Oh I don't know, probably something utterly disappointing. Did they pick you up for speeding on the way to the farmers market? I guess that wouldn't explain the uh…" she gestured at his injury again. "It wouldn't explain that now, would it. Oh, I know! You got into a fight over the last piece of bluefin!" Kyle just shook his head slightly. "No? I guess it's too much to hope you did something really exciting like rob a bank—You're not secretly a cat burglar are you, Kyle? Lose your balance breaking into an art gallery? No…?" Kyle looked unamused. "Very funny, Chuckles, would you mind taking this a little more seriously?" "Of course," said Andrea. "Very serious for a lawyer to have been arrested. You could be disciplined. Disbarred! Why, we might not see each other in court anymore. Wouldn't that be a shame." "Wouldn't it though," replied Kyle. "So that's the kind of guy you think I am? Stealing fine art and fighting in fish markets?” Andrea pondered some more. "I know!" she exclaimed. "Did you get into a fight with someone's boyfriend? Did it turn out that you were your young lady's bit on the side, and you ended up having a domestic dispute?" Kyle winced. "Is that it?!" Andrea had been teasing, but it seems like she had touched a nerve. To whatever degree Kyle had seemed like he'd been playing along, even as worn down as he was, that last remark had left him deflated. Kyle hung his head. "It wasn't like that…" "Oh sure, like you haven't been collecting notches on your bedposts." "I'M not like that." "You're not? That's not what your reputation says, out there collecting numbers and breaking hearts. I heard that you were a real ladykil–" "Andrea! I'm not–" Kyle shouted, grabbing her hands. His hands were strong, and his grip so tight it almost hurt. His expression so intense, frustrated and hurt and… scared? Andrea knew she had been twisting the knife a little into something that bothered him, but what had caused this reaction? It was only for a moment, then Kyle seemed to catch himself and let go. He slumped back in his chair and slid his shackled hands back below the table. Andrea leaned back as well, adding to the distance, and folded her arms, no longer smiling. She glanced at the duress button out of the corner of her eye. If Kyle had kept holding her as tightly as he had been, she wouldn't have even been able to reach it. "I think we're ready for storytime now," she said seriously. “I think you had better start at the punchline. What have you been charged with, Mr Wynn?" Kyle took a deep breath before he raised his head once more. "Murder, Ms Mason. First Degree Murder." *** Andrea Mason, a defense attorney who cares more about justice and protecting her clients than just winning cases. But the one man she hates to lose to is her rival, the arrogant prosecutor, Kyle Wynn. Kyle represents everything Andi hates about unscrupulous win-at-all-costs lawyers, and for years they have traded arguments in the courtroom and barbs in the hallways. Their paths cross again when they find themselves on a high-profile murder trial. As much as Andrea might despise Kyle, she can’t believe it when HE is charged with the horrific murder. But she is even more shocked when he asks for her to represent him at trial… *** #SLOWBURN #STRONGFL #CRIME #MURDER #FLIRTY #ROMANCE If you want to know what to expect, check the reviews! ฅ^-ﻌ•^ฅ Burrito says to join here: https://discord.gg/qr7eUnxT2F

Ready to make people laugh out loud? How to Be a Good Comedy Author is your ultimate guide to writing comedy that’s fresh, absurd, and completely unpredictable. Whether you’re new to writing or just want to sharpen your humor, this book will take you through the essentials of creating comedy that sticks. Packed with practical tips, hilarious examples, and a whole lot of nonsense, this guide will teach you how to craft absurd situations, develop lovably ridiculous characters, and use timing to deliver punchlines that leave readers laughing. From creating random, surreal moments to embracing the chaos of comedy writing, you’ll learn how to make every page more ridiculous than the last. Forget the rules—this book is all about having fun with your writing, breaking boundaries, and making your audience laugh till they cry. Get ready to turn your wildest ideas into comedic gold!

Guys here is my pitch..... In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the "cheat system" doesn’t quite… cheat? Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird. To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos. Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential. John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool. But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded. Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline. Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure. Of course No-harem!

Reincarnated into the chaotic Warring States period of the Naruto universe, Hao is not your typical ninja. He’s got a Shaman King system that lets him merge with spirits and wield chakra like never before. With the powers and combat experience of Hao Asuka, he’s ready to make waves—both in battle and in the comical drama between the Senju and Uchiha clans. Hao’s plan? To establish a Shaman Clan that can rival the mightiest in history. But first, he’ll have to deal with an overenthusiastic Hashirama and a brooding Madara. Expect hilarious interactions as these three unlikely allies butt heads and try to save the world from the Celestial Clan—a group of high-and-mighty beings who don’t take kindly to being bossed around by mere mortals. Will Hao rewrite history? Or will he just end up being the punchline of it? Get ready for a wild, funny ride through a ninja world where spirits, chakra, and comedy collide. ---

Emma’s life has always felt like a cosmic joke—until tragedy strikes and the punchline becomes deadly serious. When her family is brutally murdered, Emma’s world shatters, thrusting her into a terrifying new reality. As she hunts for answers, she stumbles upon a hidden world of supernatural forces lurking in the shadows of everyday life. Now, with danger at every turn and her own mysterious heritage coming to light, Emma must embrace her untapped powers to survive. But in a world where nothing is as it seems, will Emma be able to unravel the truth behind her family’s death—or will she become its next victim? Step into Emma’s shoes as she uncovers dark secrets, forges dangerous alliances, and finds out what it truly means to have the universe against you.

Shuma, a "Genius Research Scientist." A knowledge enthusiast of things all intriguing and a secret "Otaku." Being the "Otaku" that he is, Shuma decided to create what was considered impossible — A Fantasy World Portal. He lived out his life delving far more deeper into every possible mystery in the World of Physics, everything to unravel the secrets of travelling dimensions — All to achieve his Ambition. With his diligent effort, he became widely notable as a "Genius among Geniuses" But due to an unexpected event, Shuma died haphazardly and found himself awake, in a world ever so unknown. What Adventures await Shuma? What Predicaments will he Face? What enigmatic incidents will Shuma find himself in? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 'Tis thine Author! Shuma! — The usual punchline Anyways, I want to tell you folks that there will be weeks that I'm able to write over 1k words and days where I can't go past 300-500. — All these because of Life stuff That being said, as an aspiring writer, I will do my best to write over 1k a day, if at all possible. On a slightly related note, I can't write on Saturdays and Sundays — Only very occasionally. Disclaimer! - I do not own the Book cover. if the Illustrators tell me to remove it, I will do so. Contact either of the Following via Discord for removal: Discord ID: 集真#8244 Discord ID: Collection of Truths#4544 Discord Server: https://discord.gg/Ani-Manga https://discord.gg/tADEdsNhpd ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Average Words per Chapter - Irregular (Sometimes 6k, sometimes 3k, 2k, 1k) → But most chapters are spanning 1-3k words

In a cosmos where the ordinary dared not tread, resided two oddly-named beings: Kyoto and Taguro. Like puzzle pieces in a jigsaw that never quite fit, they'd always sensed a mischievous cosmic wink at their expense. From birth, their worlds seemed to whisper secrets only they couldn't grasp, leaving them with an unshakable feeling of being the universe's inside joke. Then, as if the cosmic jester decided to turn things up a notch, the two separate realities decided to play a grand game of mix-and-mingle. Boundaries blurred, and it seemed as though the universe itself couldn't resist a chuckle as it swirled their destinies into an enigmatic dance. Within this kaleidoscope of existence, Kyoto and Taguro found themselves doing something they'd never quite imagined: drawn towards each other like magnets, if magnets had a sense of humor. It was as if the universe had finally decided to let them in on its laughter, the punchline being their meeting. And ah, love — that unpredictable trickster! It blossomed amidst the chaos, as if it found the universe's comedic plot simply irresistible. Their hearts exchanged glances and shared giggles, as they embarked on a journey that would not only untangle the cosmic joke but would also weave a tale of affection in its midst. But, as in any good comedy, questions lingered like a setup waiting for a punchline. What sort of cosmic prank had led to their fusion? What absurd challenges lay ahead, as they navigated this cosmic mashup? With the blending of worlds came the blending of mysteries, promising twists that could only be scripted by the universe's most whimsical playwright. Yet, as Kyoto and Taguro braved the unpredictable plot of their intertwined destinies, their love emerged as a guiding star. Their story wasn't just about discovering each other but about finding joy amidst the universe's grand jest. So, let the galaxies chortle and the stars twinkle mischievously, as two souls — perennially out of place — stumble upon a universe where love is the ultimate punchline in the cosmos's grand comedy.

God directed his own sitcom showbiz, which is the prime universe, and had characters that played each of his attributes. An unforseen twig in his plotline, got Seymour, a 29-year-old bachelor pianist, entwined in this cosmic comedy that led to his untimely demise and reincarnation in a world beyond his own. "You see, Seymour, I weave the laws of infinite realities in the prime universe. It's all part of my job as God's actor." The goddess spoke. "Will you be the hero that saves the punchline?" Unbeknownst to Seymour, he was being auditioned for a prime-time slot with a harem on a universal scale. Warning!!! This book contains scenes of debauchery, gore, highly censored language, and much more. It is advised that if this type of content does not suit your taste, it would be best to avoid it. This book is a mix of lemons infested with heavy plot. Strap on cultured folks, it's about to be one hell of a ride. Kindly consider supporting this book by giving powerstones, golden tickets, and gifts if you wish. Please note that this is my first book, so there may be certain aspects where I am still refining my skills. Join my Discord for free virtual bubble wrap popping therapy sessions. Guaranteed to relieve stress or your money back! https://discord.com/invite/SNsZWAfM2D Disclaimer : This is not my cover.

One punchline is never enough...

When he was a boy, he used to think that no one deserved to die. That no matter what that person did human life was more important. That life was too precious. What stupid thoughts for a kid to have. He learned—because life was a cruel joke making him part of the punchline—that human life meant absolutely nothing.

One minute, I’m a goofy NPC in a comedy anime where no one ever dies, and the next, I’m thrust into a dark fantasy world full of blood and guts. Thankfully, I still can’t die or feel pain, but now I have to figure out how to survive in this nightmare. Who knew being an immortal punchline could be so useful?

"Party of the Undead" follows three party-loving friends using humor and dance moves to survive a zombie apocalypse. From undead pool parties to mall comedy showdowns, they redefine survival with laughter. As they face a zombie overlord in a final stand-up challenge, this comedy adventure proves that even in an apocalypse, a good punchline can save the day. Get ready for a hilarious twist on the undead, where the real party is surviving with a sense of humor.

Join Sammy, the unsuspecting mortal with a knack for turning cosmic chaos into comedy, as he navigates the divine realm filled with quirky gods, mischievous goddesses, and magical creatures with attitude. From taming an 8th Tier Flame Lion to trading banter with the mother of all gods, each chapter unfolds with a hilarious twist. Will Sammy conquer the divine challenges or end up as the punchline in the ultimate cosmic comedy? Find out in this laughter-packed odyssey where gods, demons, and Valkyries collide with Sammy's irreverent humor. Get ready for a ride that's part divine, part absurd, and all fun!

Step into the world of mirth and merriment with "Rice Joke's," a side-splitting joke book that guarantees endless laughter for readers of all ages! Packed with an assortment of rib-ticklers, puns, one-liners, and witty wordplay, this collection promises to bring joy and cheer to anyone who flips its pages. Join us on a hilarious journey as we traverse through various topics and settings, from the groan-worthy to the sidesplittingly funny. Each chapter focuses on a different theme, ranging from animals, food, and technology to everyday life, school shenanigans, and beyond. Discover clever jokes that will have readers grinning from ear to ear, and cleverly crafted puns that are sure to elicit groans and guffaws alike. The novel also features delightful riddles and clever brain teasers that will challenge readers while keeping them entertained. Whether you're looking to brighten up a dull day or impress friends with your wit, "Rice Joke's" has got you covered. Ideal for parties, family gatherings, and social events, these jokes will surely be the talk of the town! So, if you're ready to embark on a laughter-filled journey, follow "Rice Joke's" and get ready to laugh your way through this joyous compilation of the finest jokes ever penned. Warning: Excessive giggling and unforgettable punchlines may occur. Reader discretion is not advised!

In the Deity Realm, where gods and divine beings strut their celestial stuff, there's Orion – a young, dashingly handsome, hilariously aloof, and incredibly lazy yet shockingly powerful young god. He hails from the prestigious asura clan of the asura domain, boasting the purest bloodline you could imagine. With a talent for divine shenanigans, Orion skyrocketed through the ranks of cultivation, becoming the youngest god in existence, earning the oh-so-fancy title of the "Divine Son of Asura." Life for Orion was divine, peaceful, and about as predictable as a cosmic dance. But then, cue the cosmic punchline, the universe decided to play a prank on Orion of godly proportions. Suddenly, this supremely powerful deity found himself thrust into the role of a bewildered father, and his precious bundle of chaos? An adorable little girl named Lily. Wait, what? And to make matters even wackier, her mom is none other than the fierce Empress of the Shiura Domain, Seraphina. Orion's life went from divine to downright sitcom-worthy in an instant. Now, picture this: temper tantrums that could shake the heavens, diaper-changing battles that could rival celestial wars, and divine daddy Orion trying to keep his cool. It's like a cosmic comedy show on the grandest stage imaginable. As Orion attempts to navigate the epic cosmic chaos of fatherhood, he realizes that there's more to existence than power and prestige. Parenthood has a knack for humbling even the most omnipotent of gods. Join Orion on this divine and uproariously hilarious adventure as he juggles fatherhood, his divine duties, and the zany antics of his daughter, Lily, all while trying to uncover the cosmic punchline behind this unexpected twist of fate.

In the tapestry of my existence, my path was predetermined, my fate sealed. It was a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that my happiness was not mine to claim, but rather a pawn in a grand cosmic design. I felt like a marionette, strings tugged by an unseen maestro, dancing to a tune I did not compose. My purpose reduced to a mere sentinel, guarding someone of immense power who had no need for my presence. Ah, how amusing! My entire life, a punchline to an elaborate joke. Alora Smith, a woman of diverse heritage, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing around her. That is, until she crossed paths with a towering, enigmatic figure who whisked her away from the comforting confines of her sheltered city, thrusting her into a world teetering on the edge of calamity. Overnight, she found herself entangled in a realm of fiery chaos, where celestial forces clashed in a battle of epic proportions. Initially dismissing it all as a figment of her imagination, Alora questioned whether she was merely a hapless mortal ensnared in a fantastical illusion. But could she be mistaken? Now, the looming question hangs in the air: will Alora succumb to the relentless grip of the three Moirai, the sisters of fate, or will she rise against them, defying their script and forging her own destiny? Find out more in the first book of the Children Of A.

"**Cosmic Havoc: Wits Against the Apocalypse** In a world teetering on the edge of chaos, meet Alex – a master of witty quips and a connoisseur of sarcasm. When a cosmic event heralds an impending apocalypse, Alex's life takes an unexpected turn. Armed with a smartphone and a sassy attitude, he discovers that he possesses extraordinary cosmic powers. As chaos erupts, Alex finds himself at the epicenter of a whirlwind adventure. With guidance from enigmatic mentor Sam and a quirky system named Apoclypsis, he embarks on a journey to save humanity, armed with cosmic energy and an arsenal of snarky comebacks. Amid mutated creatures, interdimensional beings, and a city on the brink of collapse, Alex's humor becomes his superpower. While wielding energy to create force fields and manipulate objects, he also unleashes a barrage of hilarious one-liners that defy the odds. But in a world where absurdity reigns, Alex must master his powers and navigate through chaos with quick wit and creativity. As the boundary between dimensions blurs, alliances form and loyalties waver. Alex's journey becomes a cosmic collision of laughter and chaos, where every punchline packs a punch and every quirk becomes a weapon. 'Cosmic Havoc: Wits Against the Apocalypse' is a thrilling, humor-infused adventure that proves that sometimes, the best way to save the world is with a clever retort and a radiant smile."

In the shadowed corridors of vengeance, Seraphine had meticulously woven the threads of her grand design. A scheme that would unfold over the span of several years, allowing her the cruel pleasure of witnessing her enemies descend into the abyss of their own making. Each calculated move had been devised to inflict the deepest wounds, to ensure their suffering equaled her own. However, the tapestry of her well-laid plans began to unravel when an unforeseen twist of fate forced her into a union with the most seemingly inconsequential figure in the empire—the fifth prince, Elarian. The very mention of his name brought forth a bitter taste of disappointment, like the sour residue of dashed hopes. Elarian, the fifth of the elven lineage, was infamous within the echelons of high society for his seemingly docile and coddled existence. To the privileged elite, he was but a jest, a perpetual punchline to their idle chatter. Despite possessing the latent potential of an S-class water mage, he had navigated his life without encountering the crucible of training or adversity. Surrounded by opulence and the warmth of unconditional love, his existence was cocooned in privilege. For the royal family, marriage had become an act of desperate necessity—an ultimatum to compel Elarian's long-overdue maturation. They believed that the bonds of wedlock would serve as the crucible to forge a prince worthy of his lineage. And so, Seraphine, the harbinger of her own vendetta, found herself shackled to a seemingly insufferable companion—Elarian, the reluctant prince. The convergence of their destinies ignited a volatile cocktail of emotions, birthing a tempestuous maelstrom that could only result in disdain. From the moment their paths converged, Seraphine's enmity surged forth like a torrential tide, consuming her thoughts and sentiments. It was a sentiment equally reciprocated by Elarian, whose once tranquil existence was now marred by the storm of her disdain. As Seraphine embarked on her treacherous journey to dethrone the oppressive Duke and dismantle the vile machinery of injustice that plagued those bereft of magical abilities, she found herself burdened with an unexpected responsibility—a cumbersome infant in the form of Elarian. But therein lay the crux of their predicament—an irreconcilable paradox. How could Seraphine ever hope to form an alliance with a man who had never known the depths of suffering, who lived in blissful oblivion, unburdened by the torment that fueled her unrelenting fire? How could Elarian, shielded by the armor of privilege, endure the relentless lashings of Seraphine's acerbic tongue, understanding the true weight of her words only in the nocturnal solitude that shrouded him just before the embrace of sleep? Their union was a discordant symphony, a cacophony of opposing forces, each vying for dominance in the tumultuous theater of their shared existence. As the wheels of destiny ground forward, their fates became inexorably entwined, bound by the chains of a marriage that held within its crucible both the promise of transformation and the perilous threat of destruction. [cover made by AI]