MY DESPERATE DIARY
Dear Desperate Diary, I stayed up all night unable to sleep a wink. This wasn't supposed to happen. How did I end up in his bed. A stranger, a man I wanted nothing to do with. Why am I so naive and gullible. When he said he was just going to rub on my clit at the backseat of the car I believed it. When he pleaded with me to allow him else, he'd get blue balls, I felt sorry for him and even though every ounce of nerve in my body was against it, I couldn't say no.
"NO". A word that has tormented me for as long as I could remember. How I wish I could turn back time. How I wish, I knew my rights to that said word. How I wish I could have mustered the courage for it. As I sit to think about it, a lot of things could have been different and better if I had simply said No.
When he said I was dramatic, a liar, manipulative, jealous and simply put a stupid girlfriend all the while having sex with a girl "our helper" he claimed, who he told I was his cousin under the same roof. I said nothing. When he told me he got in contact with her and did everything he did because of me I believed it. How was I that strong hearted to watch things unfold? How could I lie awake all night through the sound and smell of their sex and keep my composure and keep silent despite my tears and heartache.
