Groucho Marx Jokes

Mr. Fu of Harbor City positions himself with one foot in Harbor City and the other in Macau City, capable of manipulating situations with just his hands. Harbor City's gossip tabloids exposed that Mr. Fu has a secret wife. Known for his romantic involvements, Mr. Fu has liaisons with beauty pageant winners, models, and socialites. The entire Harbor City jokes about how his wife would be kicked out of the Fu family by any means necessary. In the first year, an unprecedented snowfall in June took over Harbor City, dubbed by the press as a grand gesture from the boss to make his wife smile. The second year, the press captured Mr. Fu arguing with his wife in the streets looking upset. People speculated their relationship was nearing its end. However, the next day, he was seen clinging to his wife's legs, crying, fussing, and showing affection. The third year, rumors were rampant that Mr. Fu and his wife had been living separately for six months, and a divorce was imminent. Soon after, a major announcement from the Fu family shocked the city. Mr. Fu was delighted by the birth of a precious son. While everyone congratulated him, Mr. Fu's expression was gloomy: not having embraced one for three years, he realized he was duped!

[WSA-2025-ENTRY] "Why? Just why?" "Why did I became this guy?" That was the first thing I said when I see myself on the mirrors reflection. Lucien Drelmont. A bottom-tier instructor at Noctis Ardentis Academy. A joke of a character. A corrupt, talentless noble despised by both students and faculty. He was one of the early game villain, that was destined to die, a stepping stone for the protagonist, a scapegoat for the Academy, no matter what way the game is played his death was destined. And now I need to survive as him, in this hellish academy. _____________________ [No Harem] [No Romance] [No NTR&Yuri] 2-4 chapter per day

In the vast river of time, all names are destined to be forgotten—except one. Shao Xian, once the Sovereign of Dao, stood above all existence, mastering the fundamental laws that shaped reality itself. Yet, betrayal came not from enemies, but from those closest to him—Ancient Deities, Celestial Emperors, and Primordial Entities conspired to bring his downfall. Surrounded and outnumbered, Shao Xian fell, his name erased from history. But fate is a cruel joke. Reborn in the body of a weak, nameless youth in a world bound by lesser laws, Shao Xian awakens with all his memories intact. This world may see him as nothing—but he is still the one who once ruled the heavens. This time, he will not repeat the mistakes of the past. There will be no mercy, no attachments—only absolute dominance.

I once believed I was the heroine of a modern fairytale, blessed with beauty, wealth, intelligence, and a powerful legacy. Men adored me, women envied me, and I was engaged to the most desirable man, Cole Fay. My life seemed perfect, a dream where I held the starring role. But on my eighteenth birthday, that illusion crumbled. The truth hit me hard: I wasn't the protagonist, nor even the villain or a side character. I was just cannon fodder, a disposable part of someone else's story. But when fate recognized the cruel joke of my life, I was granted a second chance. This time, I'll write my own story, living for myself. And this time . . . I will never love you again.

Under everyone's gaze, her pregnant sister came to force a marriage, making her the butt of the joke, after being cheated on. When she was at her wit's end, she met him —— Jun Mochan, the business tycoon. He said: "Marry me, I won't betray you." In order to shut off the wagging tongues and avoid becoming a bargaining chip in a family alliance, She said: "Okay" But, wasn't it agreed that it would be a fake marriage? He loves her deeply. The whole world knows it, only she doesn't.

I'm gonna say this now this book is mainly a comedy fantasy series so it's more like a mix of konosuba and boondocks. there will be harsh language and corny jokes you have been warned. The story will be following a group of adventurers on there day to day adventure and mission. in the group we have a hot vampire that loves to act like she's rich and spends off the groups money. a tomboy werewolf girl who loves eating to much food and some random op human ( he's black) that as to keep the group feed and a roof over there heads. that's the basic run down hope you enjoy.

A kidnapping shattered Sophia Diaz's innocence; the wealthy heiress who once dreamed of becoming a pastry chef never imagined she would fall into the hands of a demon who would change her world forever. Capone, who grew up amidst life-and-death shootouts, considered love a luxury and a joke. She was a toy for his amusement and a tool for his revenge, yet she unleashed a storm of bloodshed throughout his Mafia empire. With a simple deal, she finally won her freedom, believing their paths would never cross again. But he reappeared like a ghost, crashing her wedding, tearing her dress to shreds and destroying everything. Separated by gratitude, resentment and deep-seated enmity, he watched her disappear into the vast sea with his own eyes...

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

Waking up in a new world, the protagonist realizes he's landed in a genuine magical fantasy realm full of wonders—and deadly dangers. Just yesterday, he was an ordinary university graduate celebrating the end of his studies at a lively party. But today, he's a newcomer in a mysterious world ruled by three powerful academies, each led by a great mage. Things take an even stranger turn when he acquires a unique Trolling System! Its mission? Drive these mages to madness! However, there’s one significant problem—it’s not just a joke. The great mages are powerful, dangerous, and won't tolerate being mocked. If the hero isn't careful, he'll become ashes faster than he can say, "It’s just a prank!" Can he survive, balancing the leveling of his strength, jokes on the edge of life and death, and dangerous enemies who fail to appreciate his sense of humor? Or will he become the first person ever to drive the great mages to rage—and live to tell the tale?

Charlie thought her days of excitement were behind her—until a bold move with TikTok sensation SloanVibes turned her world upside down. Charlie, a resort owner, has always admired Sloan for his empowering messages and no-holds-barred attitude, but she’s skeptical about his seemingly carefree vibe. When Sloan opens up about wanting to collaborate with fellow TikTokers and learn about different cultures—and mature women—Charlie seizes the opportunity to promote her resort and dive into the world of vlogging and podcasting. But as the excitement builds, so does the doubt. Is Sloan truly interested in her proposal or just looking for something more... casual? When a playful and curious reply lands in her inbox, her heart races. Is this the professional collaboration she envisioned, or will it spiral into something unexpected? From impromptu adventures to the shared joy of simple moments—like cooking together and laughing over playful jokes—Charlie finds herself caught between business and personal connection. But it’s not all easy sailing. With the pressure of her resort’s success on her shoulders, and the undeniable pull of Sloan’s charm, Charlie must navigate her growing feelings while ensuring that her business relationship remains intact. “Whispers of Warmth: Sandy Souls” is a fun, light-hearted romance about taking chances, breaking out of comfort zones, and finding unexpected sparks when the camera turns off. Will Charlie and Sloan turn their playful online chemistry into something real—or will the virtual world stay just that?

As a joke, Fall chose to create a girl character in an old open world game with the class of Card Master, But that joke soon turned into a large reality. Fall now as his female avatar Fell is transported to the game world similar to that of the game but it has completely different rules and events. What is more concerning was that he was a girl, a Loli with a relatively small hitbox, watch him or should I say her as she survives her new reality and make friends along the way of her long journey and she will find out the lore she created for her character came true.

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him. One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence. That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker. Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death. But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that. Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there. But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money. Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way. Because, well—there was an afterlife. And it was absolutely not what I wished for. ——— ——— ——— Gib Money - ko-fi.com/khyaal Join My Discord For Reference Arts and much more - https://discord.gg/zmUcswM2N5

"I think am in love with Ishtar's husband," Nadia Browne said suddenly, and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

Pure instinct to aid the weak. A noble impulse, right? My 'sin,' or perhaps my supreme stupidity, was trying to save a woman and her daughter from a brutal death. In the heat of the skirmish, a moment of carelessness cost me a gunshot. And then, the ironic confirmation of an old suspicion: the God of this world finds amusement in fallen heroes. Just as the darkness was claiming me, a strange phenomenon tore me from its jaws... only to throw me into the body of a noble baby, a child born with privileges, yes, but also with a curse. Lucien Whiteheart, his parents' fifth attempt at having an heir, was a doomed body. A grotesque curse denied them descendants, and now, I, a trapped soul, faced a premature death at the hands of enemies I never provoked. A blessing or a cruel joke of fate? I’ll find out, if I survive.

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Sage, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

Li Susu dies unfairly and wishes for a second chance, but fate still jokes on her. "Seriously?! Is this the second chance that I am asking for?!" She was born in a world where political struggle was the deadliest. Worst of all, she was born as the ruthless and tyrant Empress Wu Jinmai! She has no one in the world who is scary and full of political schemes. Will she be able to change her faith and live a long and happy life? What kind of sacrifices does she need to make to change her fate? "I hate you; I detest you. You're my greatest nightmare, and marrying you is like a poison that slowly kills me!" Shanguan Zu Jin suppressed his feelings for the people. He had longed for her. He wants to love and spoil her, but fate has changed her. Will his love be rekindled as the tyrant empress suddenly changes? Is there a second chance for his unrequited love, or…? Find out the answers as the story of the tyrant empress and her emperor consort begins. PS: This is purely a work of fiction. Organization, events, situations, and names are purely created by the author's imagination. Thank you.

A perpetually unfortunate fellow faces a cascade of bad luck throughout his existence—bombing exams, drawing the worst military posts, acquiring a lemon of a vehicle, and suffering workplace bullying. After a particularly harsh dressing-down from his boss, he stumbles into a corner market intoxicated and asks the shopkeeper to pick some lottery digits. With his final five dollars, he purchases five identical tickets. By some cosmic joke, he lands the second-place lottery prize—roughly $300,000—but the store clerk murders him before he can collect his winnings. In the afterlife, he encounters a death deity who proposes rebirth with his memories preserved, on the condition he never discloses his previous existence. He agrees and activates a "reincarnation randomizer" that will determine his new identity.....

Year 2177. Empyrean, the greatest VRMMO ever created, had long since changed the gaming world. One hundred floors stretched towards infinity, each a separate world teeming with nations, tribes, and countless races. Millions of players made this their second home, a realm where the sun rose and set, where seasons danced their eternal cycle, where life flowed like an endless river. The goal was simple yet impossible - find the key on each floor and ascend to the hundredth level. New players were meant to start their journey on one of the first three floors. But Kane Reed's fate was different. He stood alone on his floor, not yet comprehending the cruel joke destiny had played on him. It was only when he accepted the most basic of newbie quests - the eternal tradition of rat slaying - that he understood. [Current floors: 100]

[GUIDEVERSE/POLY] Kang Jinha lived and died for love, only to realize how much of a joke it was after his miserable death. The world he lived in turned out to be a novel, and he was nothing more than a cannon fodder whose role was to be a stepping stone for the protagonist and the female lead’s happily ever after. Surprise oh surprise, Kang Jinha’s story did not end there. Waking up ten years in the past, the first thing he did was to distance himself from the protagonist and focus on the precious family he had lost due to past foolishness. But through a whirlwind of fate, he found himself entangled with the world’s most mysterious… S-Class Esper?! Wait, why are there two of you— no, three?!

jinks the strongest demon God got betrayed and so he reincarnated himself with his mysterious power now he starts his journey as 13 year old boy who is a orphan .... from weak to strongest and become weak and normal human again and starts from the new beginning to became more stronger demon God of entire cosmos in all dimensions so please read and enjoy the story development which I'm working everyday new chapter will be released at 11 am I'm trying to improve the quality so please read next chapter support me if you like and please vote and give your remarks I'll remember those and try to improve my work ....see you tomorrow

When one is summoned to another world, it's usually because that fortune smiles upon the chosen one. Much like those shows visualized before their dreamy audience, the summoned heroes are blessed with gifted stats and traits, renown and respect, and eventually, a harem of many a fair maidens. So why am I here? Why am I isekaied if I don't even have OP stats? Why don't I know of the purpose that summoned here, or the trademark 'demon king' that I need to slay? Why am I here?! What's the point?! Why summon an idiotic loser?! What can I give?! Is this a joke?! Some twisted amusement for the fates to enjoy?! JUST LET ME GO BACK! I suppose... I have to figure all that out, don't I?

In the world to come, making oneself at home in a virtual realm has woven itself into the fabric of the daily grind. Online games flourishing within this digital hinterland have caught on like wildfire. It's a rare soul who hasn't caught a whisper about the mighty and their terrestrial habits and hedonism. Yet now, as life in the virtual sphere - especially within these burgeoning games - gains momentum, new titans rise within this electronic escapade. One wonders, do their existences diverge from those ensconced in real-world influence? Watch the journey of our protagonist who, through a gauntlet of trials and time, has eased into a leisurely existence as one of the esteemed five lord atop a thriving metropolis, in a community of a billion players. Though obstacles and thorns of various kinds laid in his path, he overcame them all. *** The original is in Thai, and as the writer of the original, I attempted to translate it as closely as possible. I use AI to help with the initial translation and then revise it one more time, but I only managed to achieve about 80% of what I expected. Not to mention grammar, just trying to translate jokes, idioms, proverbs, etc. so that foreigners can understand is very difficult.

*"Trapped in a place where hope is nothing more than a cruel joke, I have learned one thing—pain is the only constant. Every scream, every drop of blood, every shadow that moves in the dark reminds me that escape is impossible. But then I met her. In this abyss of suffering, she became my only light. Weak, broken, yet still fighting—just like me. Together, we dream of freedom, even when the world crushes us beneath its weight. This is not a story of heroes. This is not a story of mercy. This is a story of survival, of blood-soaked nights, and of a hope so fragile that it might shatter at any moment. Will we make it out? Or will we become just another forgotten whisper in the dark?"*

Steven, a third-year college student and a longtime "stagnant water" player of [Conquering Dungeons While My Girlfriend Spends Time with Her Steamy Boss~], never expected to wake up as the game’s most pitiful protagonist. Trapped in a modern fantasy world designed to make him suffer, he quickly realizes that if he follows the original story, he's doomed to be nothing more than a joke. But Steven isn’t the original MC. Armed with his knowledge of the game’s mechanics, hidden events, and every pitfall that led to the protagonist’s downfall, he plans to rewrite his fate. No longer a pushover, he will manipulate the plot, outgrow his scripted suffering, and indulge in the life the original MC never got to experience. In this world, strength means everything. And this time, Steven refuses to lose.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can.

Draven Craftlock was a serial killer who lived for the thrill of the hunt—until a freak accident and a bolt of divine lightning sent him straight to his death. But instead of eternal damnation, he wakes up in a bizarre new reality… as a single drop of blood. Turns out, God has a twisted sense of humor. Stripped of his physical form and bound by three divine rules that prevent him from mindlessly slaughtering his way to the top, Draven now has to find a way to survive in a world of magic, monsters, and gods who see him as nothing more than a mistake to be erased. But he’s not alone—Emma, an eldritch, reality-bending clown, has been assigned to “watch over him” (read: mock him relentlessly). With his instincts still sharp, his bloodthirsty nature barely contained, and his new reality stacked against him, Draven is ready to play the game. If he can’t kill outright, he’ll just have to get creative. After all, rules were made to be broken… right?

*"In some worlds, death is the end. In others, it’s a mercy."* Some stories are meant to inspire. Others exist to remind you that life is one long, merciless joke. This was one of those. A world where heroes and villains are just two sides of the same bloodstained coin. Where fate doesn’t grant second chances—only crueler ways to suffer. Where the so-called protagonist isn’t some destined savior but a walking catastrophe waiting to happen. And me? Well, let’s just say I wasn’t supposed to be here. No cheats, no divine blessing—just a front-row seat to a reality where even the strongest are just well-dressed pawns on a board stacked against them. -------------------------- *"In some worlds, death is the end. In others, it’s just a fucking courtesy."* Hey, normies, don’t get your hopes up—this ain’t some top-tier literary masterpiece. Just your everyday, pent-up engineer reject vomiting his frustrations onto a page. Love it, hate it, meme it to hell—I don’t care. Commitment issues? Oh, absolutely. No promises this won’t rot unfinished in some forgotten corner of the internet. Anyway, welcome to a world where heroes are just villains with better PR, the MC is a glorified landmine, and even death clocks in as the better option. No chosen ones, no overpowered cheats—just one long, cosmic joke with zero punchline. Enjoy the ride. Or don’t. Not my problem.

The world as I knew would never be the same after that day. The world goes on as normal when suddenly missiles are launched across the world and it's set in the apocalypse. Read to find out more. Author: This is my first ever work and I'm joking it goes well. I started with an idea and will continue to build off of it. I hope you like it and will try my hardest to create a great story. Hopefully I can try to get 2 chapters a week out if I get lots of support I will get more out. Thank you in advance for reading

London, 1820 A kingdom shrouded in darkness. A bloodline cursed by power. A legacy of silver and shadows. Centuries ago, a king's insatiable thirst for power turned him into a monster—a vampire. His dark transformation left a curse upon his descendants: the Silver Blood, a gift and a torment. Silver Blood turns any weapon they wield into a force capable of slaying vampires—and according to ancient legend, holds the power to restore vampires to humanity. But no one knows if this power is salvation… or damnation. Maverick Crus Beecham, or Marx, is no stranger to the shadows. As the most skilled of the kingdom’s Special Soldier Night Guards, Marx has dedicated his life to protecting the realm. Yet when his stern uncle, Lawrence Beecham, unexpectedly sends him away for three months to inherit his title as Earl, Marx’s world takes an unforeseen turn. Enter Cherie, a mysterious and charismatic nobleman who exudes charm as easily as breathing. Their fateful meeting throws Marx into a whirlwind of intrigue, danger, and unspoken secrets. Despite their clashing personalities—Marx’s stoic discipline against Cherie’s playful magnetism—they are drawn together by a shared purpose, an enigmatic mission, and Cherie’s declaration of a "date" that feels more like destiny. “We should go through all of the ups and down, for better, for worse, until we are part by death” A tale of cursed bloodlines, enduring secrets, and unexpected romance, Sovereign of Silver Blood is a gothic adventure romance.

'Am I hallucinating? Am I dying?' Marx thought. Perhaps he was seeing visions because he was feverish, and his head ached from the contusions he suffered during the crash. He blinked, but the vision was still there. He saw a beautiful woman fully naked on the edge of the other side of the spring. Her slightly wavy hair with the color of copper cascaded freely down her slim waist. She raised her arms and dived cleanly into the water. Marx waited, but after some time, she did not emerge. Marx chuckled. How could a woman be in a jungle in the middle of nowhere?" He heard a growl from behind him, and before he could react, a big tiger pounced on him. The last thing he remembered was seeing four canines closing in and hearing a loud female voice shouting, "Khalil, stop!" … Discover how Amaya, who grew up in the wild, coped with the pressure and challenges of returning to the civilized world. Accompany her on her journey to find love, acceptance, and recognition in the treacherous human world of betrayal and greed. *** The book cover is not mine. It is a photo of one of the most beautiful actresses in my country. *** Jan 2025. I finally had the chance to upload the characters' avatars. I hope you will love Amaya, Marx, and Ibrahim just as I loved bringing them to life.