Bath Jokes

Li Susu dies unfairly and wishes for a second chance, but fate still jokes on her. "Seriously?! Is this the second chance that I am asking for?!" She was born in a world where political struggle was the deadliest. Worst of all, she was born as the ruthless and tyrant Empress Wu Jinmai! She has no one in the world who is scary and full of political schemes. Will she be able to change her faith and live a long and happy life? What kind of sacrifices does she need to make to change her fate? "I hate you; I detest you. You're my greatest nightmare, and marrying you is like a poison that slowly kills me!" Shanguan Zu Jin suppressed his feelings for the people. He had longed for her. He wants to love and spoil her, but fate has changed her. Will his love be rekindled as the tyrant empress suddenly changes? Is there a second chance for his unrequited love, or…? Find out the answers as the story of the tyrant empress and her emperor consort begins. PS: This is purely a work of fiction. Organization, events, situations, and names are purely created by the author's imagination. Thank you.

He said, "Sweetie, you are mine, and I will never let you go." But eventually, he let her go, "You want a divorce, right? I'll sign it after you drafting the agreement." ... She thought their marriage was a transaction where each got what they needed. She even thought that the woman who had stood by his side for years was his lifelong White Moonlight, his heart's desire. Little did she know, she was the only beam of light in his life, the warmth he wanted to keep forever. Until he protected her with his body, disregarding life and death… ... Baby Chapter: The little princess felt aggrieved and pitiful for not being allowed to bathe with daddy. “Daddy bathes with brother but not with me, that's not fair!” “Because you are a gir, sweetheart.” “Then mommy is also a girl, why can daddy bathe with mommy?” “…”

He was an unparalleled alchemy genius. however, because he couldn't cultivate martial arts, he was betrayed and killed by the woman he loved the most. He was then reborn in the body of a bullied good-for-nothing young man. A good-for-nothing? A genius? What a joke! No one in this realm understood cultivating geniuses better than Yang Chen! Martial arts? Alchemy? What's so difficult about Dual cultivation?! He embarked on the demonic path, rising against all odds! With his exceptional talent, he forged a divine body, sweeping away all injustices! With his brilliant alchemy, he shocked all realms!

3000 years after his disappearance, Xue An had undergone cultivation and came back as an invincible fairy. But upon his return to Earth, he realised that he had a pair of twin daughters. “Papa, this dragon doesn’t taste good!” “Oh, this must be an ancestor-grade dragon that has lived for much too long. Its meat has become a little dry. Next time, we shall eat a young dragon within ten thousand years of age.” Some dragon that had existed since the beginning of the universe was lying on the floor, trembling and shivering. “Papa, between you and the other Immortal-emperor mannies, who is more powerful?” Xue An smiled. There was not a single soul that could withstand even just one blow from him. If there was! That would at most be two! “My dear daughters, I will make you girls the happiest princesses in this whole, wide world. No, in this whole universe! And it’s the two of you!”

[A god is a paradox.] This is the theme of the novel, [Hero's Downfall], which Arcine wrote for funsies and laughs. The novel was a piece of satire as glorious as it was horrendous, with shallow characters, petty squabbles, and black-and-white villains and heroes. There was no depth whatsoever. And yet people kept reading until the very end, bound by the idea that the entire novel was a big joke. Life would make a similar joke on our trash author Arcine. Plagued by three different types of cancer, paralyzed from the waist down, and suffering from severe mental degradation at a young age, it was as if everything he had written was being thrown back at him. His suffering would continue even after his death. In a new life. Inside his garbage-tier novel.

Fu Xiang's body jolted in anger."I will kill you". He spat. "I will make sure you and your family rot in hell, it's the only place fit for the likes of you". Zhao An Na laughed, lips curved in a taunting smirk to him Fu Xiang's words sounded like a joke and it might have well been one, if you were threatened by someone chained like an animal and as skinny as a skeleton, you too would think it was a joke. "Pray tell me how would you, you would be dead in a couple of days," Zhao An Na said. "Or maybe weeks if you are lucky". He added after some thinking. "Even if I have to crawl out from the out of hell, I promise you that I will make your life a nightmare," Fu Xiang said. "I would love to see you try" Zhao An Na smirked. " ****** Fu Xiang, a rising beta actor, seemed to have it all – a loving boyfriend, a loyal friend, a supportive family, and fame. However, his life took a dark turn when he uncovered a buried secret from his past. Betrayed by his closest confidants, he endured torment before his passing. Reborn as Feng Mei Hui, an omega heir to a multi-billion-dollar company, Fu Xiang seeks closure and faces the challenge of confronting those who wronged him. His only potential ally is Han Yichen, his supposed fiancé. Will Fu Xiang find it in his heart to trust again and open up to Han Yichen, or will the darkness of vengeance consume him entirely?

Alex has a motto. Why fight when you can run away? She’s scared of almost EVERYTHING - no joke. When she gets a VR game for her birthday, she tries it out and loves it, but everything is attacking her for some reason! Only when her brother challenges her to a dual does she admit to him that she’s been lost for over a month. At some point, she ran into a huge forest, and not just any forest, but THE SCARIEST FOREST in the game... or so her brother says. Watch as Alex grows and mature from scaredy-cat to a tough cat.

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can. 11/21/24 I only just noticed that the webnovel reader changes my formatting. I was using an extra space between paragraphs to denote a scene change. Please leave a comment if you find any confusing parts. 11/30/24 I'm going on a trip I've been planning for a while in a couple days. I will try to keep writing and publishing while I'm away, but I expect a slower pace.

Do you know that feeling, when you're just fed up with everything, and want to run away and leave it all behind? Maybe even travel to another universe and explore other dimensions and realities. Wouldn't that be sick? There would be so many more options to achieve happiness or even find true love. OR you could committ every crime known to man, and get revenge on everyone that hurt you before, and their versions in other universes, because you feel like it. Let's see what Ethan decides, and if the 'no consequences' thing is really true. Because as we know, everything has a price... (trigger warning: really bad jokes, cuss words and choatic magicians!)

Darren King is as crude as they come. A tribrid - mainly vampire, partly werewolf, partly witch and bathed in angel blood. War hero. First of his kind. One and only of his kind. And only through conception can there be others. But he has a problem. Although respected in the vampire and werewolf clans, he won't be giving worthy "vessels" (women to birth his offspring). And not all tribes are compatible with his blood especially the humans. He's running out of time. Even with immortality and the ability to live without blood, he can't birth children forever. He is tied to the blood moon which is 10 years away. After that, all his offspring would be mere vampires.

[Warning: r18+/strong mature content] He is her salvation. She, his demise. Yet, he refuses to let her go… Mineah, the youngest Princess of Ebodia, was cursed at birth to remain untainted and bring misfortune to those around her. This prophecy looms over her like a dark cloud, growing bigger every year it does not come to pass. She exists in hushed rumors as a pitiful figure - fragile, meek, unwanted. Underneath that mask is a strong and feisty vixen worthy of being a queen. And this would-be queen has set her eyes on breaking her curse, even if that means tricking the most cunning vampire ever born. Nikolai, though reclusive and enigmatic, is revered by the Kingdom of Valcrez as a wise and powerful ruler. Unbeknownst to his loyal subjects, his image of perfection is a web of lies that if exposed can send their kingdom and everything they hold dear crumbling beneath their feet. When these two find their paths crossed in a marriage alliance, the game of Crown's Seduction begins. But just who is the hunter and who is the prey? ******** Excerpt: “Why are you stripping naked in front of me?” she questioned with a frown, doing little to hide the irritation in her voice. Her goal was to capture only his heart, not his whole body! “Am I not allowed to have a bath with my wife?” he remarked with a cold tone. “I purposely asked for a big tub to just make sure that the two of us will fit in it together.” She sighed, not tearing her gaze away from him as she regained her composure. Seeing him smirk she forced herself to get comfortable as he spoke. “That’s more like it. You said it yourself that no one forced you into marrying me. Instead, you offered and volunteered yourself willingly for it, so I expect that you’ll be confident enough to share a bath with your husband,” Nikolai confidently stated. “After all, we’ll do more than this soon enough.” Shameless… Preventing herself from rolling her eyes, she managed to give him a smile as she said, “Don’t blame me if you die on me then.” **** Note: Volume 1: Main Story Status - Completed (Chapters 1 to 403) Volume 2: Side Story Status - Completed (Chapters 404 to 472) Volume 3: Side Story Status - **** PS: Commissioned Book Cover owned by the Author! Do not use it!

Kazuo Tanaka, an ordinary high school student, meets a bizarre fate: after an accident involving laxatives, a yakuza, and a truck, he dies and meets a beautiful but mocking goddess. She gives him a weird power as a joke: he can level up by pooping. Reborn as a kid in a magical world, Kazuo now Andreas, is the only one with this power, tries to turn this embarrassing ability into his superpower.

Eliron once lost his happiness because of a foolish friend's opposing ideology. He lived in misery when the Demon King was summoned on the mortal lands, trapped and bathing in what once was. Until one day, a child offers their hand for a shot of freedom. Once he took it, Eliron bathed in the reality of moving forward. However can he really keep it? Will his new happiness remain and be kept safe? He is nervous again. Why are his new happiness such adventurers?! // I will be posting this story on RoyalRoad.com yippie!

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Artie had lived her whole life feeling like a joke. Whether it came to her full name, her parents ‘abandoning’ her and her next door neighbours taking her in, or finding out that her lover was part of a cult and was cheating on her. Said lover then stabbed her. It felt like she just couldn’t catch a break. So when she found herself in a puddle of her own blood, staring up at a fake painted sky, she could only find humour in the situation, and prayed that the next life was kinder. Only she woke up. In the same body, with the same stab wound, only in a world full of magic, swords, and a dead King Arthur? Yup. The round table existed, the knights existed, and so did everyone of legend that she’d heard about as a child. Only it was the beginning of their tales. Nothing had happened yet, except the formation of Camelot, the crowning of the King, and then the sudden death of the King of Legend, King Arthur Pendragon. She would have thought this was another cruel joke if everyone wasn’t wandering around in mourning clothes. If this was a practical joke, it wasn’t a very funny one. Artie was tired. She’d already spent almost a decade working as a police officer, and then a detective, so she felt like she had earned her peace. Especially after all the shit she’d been put through, but someone had different plans. And Artie’s life wasn’t quite done yet. In fact, it seemed like in the eyes of the creatures of this world, this was where she was always meant to be. The time she spent getting her ass handed to her in the other dimension? Just a warm up. And now she was expected to just…go along with what everyone else wanted her to do? Including magical beings who were responsible for taking her from one dimension to another. Artie felt like she was in over her head, even if there were several concerned, attractive knights around her. She wasn’t sure if she was going to run away from all the new responsibilities, or embrace them. She wasn’t a rule breaker by nature, but maybe now was the time to change?

Exciting news! My novel will be published on Royal Road. Be sure to check it out! The roar of wyverns echoes across a land of forgotten gods. Beasts like Fenrir dominate the land, and survival hinges on magic and weapon techniques. I am Aether, reborn into this brutal existence, a slave with a painful past and a future seemingly carved in stone. But fate, it seems, has a twisted sense of humour. When hope dwindled to a flicker, I stumbled upon an ethereal cave. Inside, bathed in an alien glow, lay a magnificent beast - a dragon, scales shimmering pink and red. Fear threatened to consume me, but a defiant roar erupted from within. "I will never bend to your will, FATE!" The echo of that challenge hangs heavy in the air, a spark igniting in the darkness. This is where my story begins.

A prophecy foretells the arrival of a child destined to plunge the world into darkness. Reincarnated in a realm bathed in light, Emani Heolstor embraces her role as the bearer of darkness. However, before fulfilling her mission, she chooses to explore this radiant world, seeking to understand its beauty and find a worthy opponent for her power.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HEIR AND HEIRESS OF TWO ENEMIES COMPANY GET MARRIED? ALBEIT BY A SICK JOKE OF FATE? ESPECIALLY ONES WITH AN HISTORY? All Theodosia wanted to do was get married for duty. Never did she think she`ll be getting married to her ex lover of ten years ago, who happens to be her greatest enemy!!! hell in handbasket

The day everything changed began like every other Tuesday, I woke up, turned off my alarm, and took a bath, after drying myself I walked down into my kitchen and grabbed some breakfast, played my daily gacha games, went to work, and watched the sunset, only, something wasn't as it seemed. -- Yo RNG_jesus here, I am trying to do an original story as best as possible, so let me cook. I will also try to listen to any suggestions you guys have that could help improve the story. Updates - whenever I feel like it, get off my back, this is a hobby for fun. Confirmations and commonly asked questions: No harem, ain't writing that shit. I have no idea about romance as I don't know how to write it well enough.

It all started when a virtual coin reached a value of 500k each, and has 130k coins in his hands. So John becomes a billionaire overnight, but he also encounters a series of problems caused by his money, where eventually relatives will appear even from under the stones to get some easy money. ⚠️ You have been warned, this is no joke and, by the way, we will see each other in hell. DISCLEIMER: This novel is intended to entertain an adult audience, being a product of my imagination with a surreal plot and should be treated as such, where each and every character is 18 years or older.

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

#R18 [For +100Powerstones/collections = +1 bonus chapter] [Power Stones = Smut] I was transmigrated into a cultivation world and received a powerful beast-taming system. Wow, lucky, right? But this system is too… weird. [Successfully evolved the Blue Spirit Rabbit Beast, Luisha, into a Beast girl] It evolves the beasts I painstakingly tame into beautiful girls [Help her bathe in the hot spring, ensuring she feels relaxed and pampered: +5 Fav] & then asks me to increase their favorability towards me by giving some perverted tasks. I thought I was going to become a big shot with a human harem, but now I have to please these evolved beast girls just to complete the missions this system gives...

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

When the danger becomes too scary, help is sought from scarier beings; A General and an underworld boss. ..... Two sisters– Su Tang and Ruolan Tang.One is a Sentinel over the other, fulfilling her duties to her oblivious sister, while the other choose to bath in laziness. Give her a lazy lifestyle, that's all she ask for. Is it too much to ask? Trouble began when she found out she is the monarch of Povich Country, the greatest of all countries in the world. She is expected to overcome all hurdles, prove the prophecy wrong, restore peace with the enemies while keeping her loved ones safe, and also not forgetting to have a good sleep. But what if those she thought were with her were actually against her?

In a marriage of convenience, Nathan, after a night of drinking, has an affair with Ava, leading to her ectopic pregnancy. Before the surgery, Ava calls Nathan, who is preoccupied with his mistress and neglects Ava, even going as far as to accuse her of having an affair and carrying another man's child after the surgery... As their one-year contractual marriage comes to an end, Nathan realizes his feelings for Ava. But Ava is not willing to play along anymore! Excerpt： "I am Nathan Ford's girlfriend, loved by him, as everyone knows. And you... you're just a title holder, soon to be thrown out. By then, you'll lose all your dignity... no, you've already lost it. I bet your deceased mother would turn in her grave if she knew what you've become." Hearing Iris Hart's sharp and biting words, Ava Sterling initially didn't want to stoop to her level. However, the mention of her late mother crossed a line. A crisp slap echoed before Iris Hart could even react, leaving five bright red marks on her face. "Ah—Ava Sterling—you lowlife, how dare you hit me..." Iris Hart realized she had been slapped and reached out to retaliate, but Ava Sterling was prepared and caught her hand easily. "Listen, Iris Hart, if I'm the joke, what does that make you? You're also a joke. At least I'm Nathan Ford's wife by law! You! Iris Hart, are nothing but a mistress scorned by everyone. Every wealthy man may stray, but a hotel is just a hotel, and home is home. There can be many dishes, but there's only one bowl of rice."

Wang Yang never stopped pursuing his dream of becoming a director and making movies that could amaze the world. However, the fate seemed to play a malicious joke on him. He got wrongly accused and expelled from USC. Fortunately, when God closed a door to Wang Yang, he opened a window for him. After a baby stroller hit him on the street, he began to be able to watch the movies from the future in his head! Since then, the year of 1988 was destined to be an extraordinary year. Besides the miracle written by “Titanic”, one of the most legendary directors in the 21st century was rising quietly…

a man who falls in love with a golden Ball I wish I was joking

A young prince gets captivated by a lady bathing in a lake. He also saves her from unexpected crisis and expects an exchange for that. "Only 365 days."He said."After which you will go back home unharmed."He assured her of that."Don't worry about your sister and your friend. They will be provided the things they will need to stay alive. I promise. Just act as my wife . It's the only way I can succeed the throne of Vilgaria." "You saved my life Prince Damien and I thank you for that.As long as those I love will be happy,then it's a deal. Only 365 days. Not more than that. I come back and you become successful."Clara said shyly. "Then it's a deal." Will Clara act as his wife for 365 days or more or not? Tales of romance,lust and drama awaits them. And will they get out peacefully or will the unexpected occur? Ah well...... Be the judge.