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What Is An A U

Wait, What? I'm a Phoenix?

Being normal is boring... Dull... Monotonous... Simply gray.... So... I read books!!!!! Well of course not educational ones, how boring would that be! I read transmigration and cultivation ones, you know, The cultivation life, The overpower female lead, The mind blowing scheming, The powerful prince charmi - - -. ... " BANG!!!" Ava just found herself flying out of her house without being able to wipe the stupid grin from her face, due to her writing - turned - daydream, and landed on their lawn, face first. " What the f*ck?", she murmured while pulling her sorry ass up with a bleeding nose. ~~ whoosssshhh ~~ 'What the hell?', curses sprang again and again in her mind as she looks at their house, being consumed with red flames in one moment, and then green flames the other minute. As an ordinary student who barely listens to their class discussion, " Just what kind of chemistry is this?" *** " All of those female leads already have male leads right? RIGHT?!", she asked herself. " You never thought of me as a male?", a deep voice emerge behind her back, making her jump in shock. She is greeted by the most handsome frowning face she has ever seen in her whole existence, making her almost drool. " You're a beautiful scenery", she mindlessly replied, making the already frowning face turned black. " That's it?", he asked in an almost growling voice, irritated at the little girl's nonsense in front of him. Seeing his black face, she can't help but frown. " Huh? Hmpp---", her eyes widen as she realize the strange soft and moist thing sucking her mouth, making her legs turn into jelly. He catch her falling form and kissed her even deeply. He licks, sucks and enter, making her brain turns blank in pleasure. When he felt that she is already not breathing anymore, he broke the kiss. " Remember this young lady, I am a man. Your man." Photo not mine.
Di_xue12 · 81.5K Views

I'm a Pastor, what the hell is an Acute Gastroenteritis Outbreak Spell?!

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn't help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire. Firstly, what in the world is the "Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis" spell? And don't even get me started on the "Osteoporosis" spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like "Blood Burn," "Gradual Freeze," and "Mental Chaos." Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities? Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn't help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield "Doomstorm" and "Ice Age," swordsmen boast "Sword Rain: Homecoming" and "Wind-Cutter Slash," while archers showcase "Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars" and "Storm Arrow." Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named "Cancer Cell Proliferation," "T-Virus Infection," and "Rabies Outbreak." In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, "Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!" Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, "Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don't know!" Even a boss character confesses, "Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!"
Yiqian Qingdai · 1.6M Views
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