Halal Jokes

A kidnapping shattered Sophia Diaz's innocence; the wealthy heiress who once dreamed of becoming a pastry chef never imagined she would fall into the hands of a demon who would change her world forever. Capone, who grew up amidst life-and-death shootouts, considered love a luxury and a joke. She was a toy for his amusement and a tool for his revenge, yet she unleashed a storm of bloodshed throughout his Mafia empire. With a simple deal, she finally won her freedom, believing their paths would never cross again. But he reappeared like a ghost, crashing her wedding, tearing her dress to shreds and destroying everything. Separated by gratitude, resentment and deep-seated enmity, he watched her disappear into the vast sea with his own eyes...

Guys here is my pitch..... In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the "cheat system" doesn’t quite… cheat? Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird. To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos. Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential. John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool. But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded. Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline. Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure. Of course No-harem!

I once believed I was the heroine of a modern fairytale, blessed with beauty, wealth, intelligence, and a powerful legacy. Men adored me, women envied me, and I was engaged to the most desirable man, Cole Fay. My life seemed perfect, a dream where I held the starring role. But on my eighteenth birthday, that illusion crumbled. The truth hit me hard: I wasn't the protagonist, nor even the villain or a side character. I was just cannon fodder, a disposable part of someone else's story. But when fate recognized the cruel joke of my life, I was granted a second chance. This time, I'll write my own story, living for myself. And this time . . . I will never love you again.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can. 11/21/24 I only just noticed that the webnovel reader changes my formatting. I was using an extra space between paragraphs to denote a scene change. Please leave a comment if you find any confusing parts. 11/30/24 I'm going on a trip I've been planning for a while in a couple days. I will try to keep writing and publishing while I'm away, but I expect a slower pace. 12/22/24 I've had some technical and creative difficulties writing for the past few days. But I assure you, as long as people keep reading this and I don't get too many bad reviews, I will keep writing this.

Act II - Eternal Night: After the events of The Heaven's War, Elise descended further into the dungeon to find that there were actually more vampires in the world besides her, where Enigma, alerted by the fact that she was the owner of the dungeon, descended in haste, where she encountered the greatest joke of fate. Hate surged within Enigma's heart, for she could not believe that the girl in front of her was the spitting image of her late lover. To which Enigma, in an impulse of anger, lets herself go and kills Elise in such a way as to ensure that she will not return. It is here that Enigma remembered. She remembered her past. And all the hatred she felt towards humanity the day Elise died, to which she required a way to make them all pay for their sins, so she decided to release the "Eternal Night". Inconsistent publication in this platform. Monthly in ScribbleHub.

Banri Takasawa, a cheerful student who loves joking around, secretly harbors feelings for Alya, a beautiful girl in his class who is shy, elegant, and has a tsundere side. Despite Alya’s reputation for keeping her distance from others, Banri refuses to give up on getting closer to her. Through brief conversations and discussions about Alya’s favorite books, Banri gradually begins to understand Alya’s calm yet mysterious world. Will his efforts to win Alya’s heart bear sweet fruit, or will they instead make Banri realize the boundaries between affection and reality?

I was a normal part timer in a small cafe when one day walking down the street a man wearing mask killed me to steal my bag. just when I thought I was going to die a floating screen appears in front of my eyes... [CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN THE NEW WORLD] [4:58 YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE THE DECISION] seriously!!! was my life was not shitty enough that now even at the time of my death these kind of jokes happening with me. in my heart I knew well that things like reincarnation doesn't happen but I have got no Choice. [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE INVITATION] [ ELIJAH VALENTINE: A FAMOUS A* LIST ACTRESS AND MODEL] [PLEASE CLICK HERE TO TET THE MEMORIES

Li Susu dies unfairly and wishes for a second chance, but fate still jokes on her. "Seriously?! Is this the second chance that I am asking for?!" She was born in a world where political struggle was the deadliest. Worst of all, she was born as the ruthless and tyrant Empress Wu Jinmai! She has no one in the world who is scary and full of political schemes. Will she be able to change her faith and live a long and happy life? What kind of sacrifices does she need to make to change her fate? "I hate you; I detest you. You're my greatest nightmare, and marrying you is like a poison that slowly kills me!" Shanguan Zu Jin suppressed his feelings for the people. He had longed for her. He wants to love and spoil her, but fate has changed her. Will his love be rekindled as the tyrant empress suddenly changes? Is there a second chance for his unrequited love, or…? Find out the answers as the story of the tyrant empress and her emperor consort begins. PS: This is purely a work of fiction. Organization, events, situations, and names are purely created by the author's imagination. Thank you.

Chi Chi transmigrated 10 whole years ago. It was sudden, but after ten years they settled into an average life in this magical world. Though when they body they are living in matures at age 25, their system unlocks. A system they didn't really want. Though, who isn't tempted by potential super powers. *** Authors Note: Hey guys. I'm started writing this as a joke. Though low and behold it was fun so now I'm taking it seriously.

In a quiet, private room of the restaurant, the sound of shattering glass pierced the air like a gunshot. There, standing in front of the broken shards, was Robert, his face frozen in shock. The word "divorce" hung in the air, a bitter pill that he couldn't swallow. "It's a joke, right?" Robert asked, his voice shaking with disbelief. "No, I'm not joking, I want a divorce" Emily replied her voice resolute. Her words hit him like a punch to the gut, as he struggled to comprehend what she was saying. ********* In a society where arranged marriages are the norm, two strangers are forced to marry each other. They have very different personalities and interests, and they struggle to find common ground. They are bound together by a marriage contract that is intended to ensure that they will work together for the benefit of both their families. Emily Kevan, a college student with big dreams find herself in a situation that seems to have no way out. It was a leap of faith that would forever change her life, for better or worse. She felt a sense of profound frustration, knowing that she was tied to someone she had never met and knowing that she was unable to pursue a relationship with the man she truly wanted to be with. She considered divorce as a means of freeing herself from the constraints of the contract, but the terms of the agreement was clear: five years of marriage and an heir were required before a divorce could be considered. On the other hand, after years of focusing solely on his studies, Robert Rawlings graduated from university and was eager to begin the next chapter of his life. However, his parent had other plans. They informed him of a contract marriage that would tie him to a woman he had never met, and they made it clear that there was no room for discussion. Robert resigned himself to his fate, knowing that he had no choice but to comply. The question now is, will Emily divorce Robert after five years of marriage with a son? Cover image is not mine, all credit goes to the owner.

In the world to come, making oneself at home in a virtual realm has woven itself into the fabric of the daily grind. Online games flourishing within this digital hinterland have caught on like wildfire. It's a rare soul who hasn't caught a whisper about the mighty and their terrestrial habits and hedonism. Yet now, as life in the virtual sphere - especially within these burgeoning games - gains momentum, new titans rise within this electronic escapade. One wonders, do their existences diverge from those ensconced in real-world influence? Watch the journey of our protagonist who, through a gauntlet of trials and time, has eased into a leisurely existence as one of the esteemed five lord atop a thriving metropolis, in a community of a billion players. Though obstacles and thorns of various kinds laid in his path, he overcame them all. *** The original is in Thai, and as the writer of the original, I attempted to translate it as closely as possible. I use AI to help with the initial translation and then revise it one more time, but I only managed to achieve about 80% of what I expected. Not to mention grammar, just trying to translate jokes, idioms, proverbs, etc. so that foreigners can understand is very difficult.

Omer has a knack for finding humor in the most unexpected places. From his witty comebacks to his lighthearted pranks, Omer's life is a whirlwind of laughter and surprises. But behind his sharp sense of humor lies a deeper story—one of resilience, self-discovery, and connection. "Joke With Omer" is a heartwarming tale that weaves comedy with moments of introspection, as Omer navigates the ups and downs of friendship, love, and the challenges that life throws his way. This book invites readers to see the world through Omer's unique lens, where every situation holds the potential for a laugh and a lesson. Whether it's turning everyday chaos into comedy or uncovering joy in the darkest moments, "Joke With Omer" is a celebration of the healing power of humor and the importance of never taking life too seriously.

They called me The Whisperer. A joke. A mockery. The boy with the weakest magic just because I was a farmer. I was powerless when they came. I watched as my father and my mother was slaughtered. My village was burned to ashes, and the man in the black robe vanished, leaving nothing but blood and unanswered questions. All I had left was my infant sister and the faint spark of magic they all ridiculed. But even a whisper can grow into a storm. Now, I walk the path alone. My weak magic will become their weakness. I will make them hear the screams they left behind, feel the pain they inflicted, and drown in the vengeance they thought they escaped. They thought I was nothing. They were wrong. I will rise, and the last thing they’ll ever hear… is a whisper.

My name is Zhang Mo, an eighth-generation peasant. Yesterday, I was peacefully farming when I got drafted by a local sect. Upon arriving at the mountain, I found out that the sect was actually a demonic cult. The worst part? After just one day, they wanted me to be their sect leader. Holy heavens, what kind of cruel joke is this?! —Excerpt from Diary of the Supreme Dark Saint by Zhang the Great Demon, Chapter One

Aaron, a handsome, scholar, medical student was forced to marry Aiden, who had a terrible reputation in his university life. Aaron didn’t have had any relationship while Aiden had tons of relationships, not relationships tho! He literally banged tons of juniors in his uni life. A playboy and a sweet boy! Aaron knew about all of it, but he couldn’t do anything as their parents arranged this marriage and he had to marry him no matter what. What will happen after their marriage? Marrying a playboy is not a joke. Will Aiden be able to accept this marriage? Or will their marriage fall apart? Will there be anyone who will try to understand the pain that Aaron is going through? Will he be able to get his forever longing true love? Will he be able to find his sole-mate?

It was as if a life before this had never existed at all. The scent of blood permeated throughout his nose and memory itself—deeply ingrained as if it were a nightmare. He thought that it would soon end. That he would awaken, and everything he had experienced was all just a cruel joke. If not, he had promised himself to end it. He'd take his own life. Despite this, part of him wanted to keep going. A deep longing and belief for a light at the end of the road. His leg was limp. Face was bathed in blood. The only thing that got him to turn around was the deafeningly silent and slow steps echoing from down the cave. He wasn't alone. --------------- This book is competing in WSA. Any support/feedback would be great! Gonna aim for at least 700 words per chapter, so keep that in mind. (The cover was made by me)

Ethan is the high school joke, a walking punchline for everyone in the cafeteria. Taunted and humiliated daily, his insecurities have reached a breaking point. Just when he's ready to give up on himself, he stumbles upon Loving.exe, a mysterious app that promises to create the perfect connection. Skeptical but desperate, Ethan clicks. Enter Mia: beautiful, kind, and eerily perfect. She knows Ethan’s pain, his secrets, even his enemies. But as she begins to "fix" his life, things take a dark turn. People start disappearing, strange accidents occur, and Mia's comforting words become increasingly sinister. Ethan is now trapped in a digital nightmare, unsure if Mia is his savior or the orchestrator of his doom. Will he find a way to break free from her grasp, or will her "love" consume him entirely?

"Where am I?" When I woke up, I found myself in a world I knew all too well—a novel I had read in my past life. But fate had played a cruel joke on me. "I'm marrying... who?" As if being reincarnated wasn't enough, I was destined to marry the story's infamous villain—a man feared for his ruthless ways. Was this punishment, or some twisted opportunity? "The villain?" Caught in a whirlwind of unexpected events, I realized that life in this world wouldn’t be easy. Yet, buried beneath the chaos and danger, there might be a chance for something unexpected—happiness, perhaps? Or heartbreak? "I'm sorry..." "Why are you sorry?" he asked, his voice carrying a hint of something I never expected—sorrow. In this tangled web of fate, can I rewrite the story, or will it rewrite me?

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

Wang Yang never stopped pursuing his dream of becoming a director and making movies that could amaze the world. However, the fate seemed to play a malicious joke on him. He got wrongly accused and expelled from USC. Fortunately, when God closed a door to Wang Yang, he opened a window for him. After a baby stroller hit him on the street, he began to be able to watch the movies from the future in his head! Since then, the year of 1988 was destined to be an extraordinary year. Besides the miracle written by “Titanic”, one of the most legendary directors in the 21st century was rising quietly…

A hundred-year-old ghost who had been haunting the world had become the real daughter of the Stephens family who had some mental problems. As soon as she returned to her family from the village, her fiancé immediately came to break off the engagement and chose her cousin instead. Even his cousin who was adopted to be her parents’ son had also mocked her, “I’m sorry that I have taken your place. In the Stephens family, anyone that cannot contribute will be discarded.” Just when all the other rich families were waiting for the jokes that she would make, those who were perceptive realized that she had changed. She had risen from the bottom of her class to become the top student. Anything she said would become real. Even great scientists, merchants, and martial artists chose to become her follower. Leaders of all the fields: If she’s garbage, then I’m less than garbage. Have you ever seen anyone as good as her ending up as garbage? The Si family must be blind! While she was afraid of being alone, the CEO that loved her introduced her as he stood next to her, “This is my one true love.”

This is a short story. It's also free and complete. **** On the day of our mating ceremony, Alpha Joseph promised to mark me and marry me, but he was out setting off the most dazzling fireworks for his childhood sweetheart. A passerby captured the moment on video and quickly uploaded it online, where it went viral, garnering an endless stream of views from pack members. His friends joked about me, asking, "What do you think about this?" I replied indifferently, "I just watched it. What else could I do?" The video spread like wildfire online, with the comment section filled with praise for them as a perfect match. "Our future Luna is so beautiful," filled the comments. As I listened to the joyful laughter and the fireworks in the video, the feast in front of me only made my heart sink deeper.

[A god is a paradox.] This is the theme of the novel, [Hero's Downfall], which Arcine wrote for funsies and laughs. The novel was a piece of satire as glorious as it was horrendous, with shallow characters, petty squabbles, and black-and-white villains and heroes. There was no depth whatsoever. And yet people kept reading until the very end, bound by the idea that the entire novel was a big joke. Life would make a similar joke on our trash author Arcine. Plagued by three different types of cancer, paralyzed from the waist down, and suffering from severe mental degradation at a young age, it was as if everything he had written was being thrown back at him. His suffering would continue even after his death. In a new life. Inside his garbage-tier novel.

A loser named Arthur entered his final year of high school as the same loser he always was. Living a mediocre existence, he spends his days the butt of many jokes and an invisible loser to most. After falling ill with a mysterious sickness, he meets a girl named Anya who will soon change the course of his life forever. Arthur's life would soon turn upside down as he goes down the path of power and authority in a supernatural inverted world. [Ding!] [You have been chosen as the 'Dark King's Heir' after discovering a fragment!] [You are far too weak to absorb his full power.] [Find the rest of the Dark King's power fragments to attain the title of 'Dark King'.] [The system shall help turn you into a man befitting the Dark King's power!] *** Disclaimer: This will not be a leveling-type system. The system is more or less a guide in a way with other elements. (So no he won't be OP right off the bat) Other than that, I hope you enjoy it. (if you do choose to read this.) Also, It's my first time trying to write a story, so the first set of chapters may be trash and boring.

Ji Hoon is a handsome young man with a towering height, a stern face with a sharp jawline, but often adorned with an ignorant smile that makes him look humorous and relaxed. His eyes are sharp, but they never look scary - instead, they exude confidence. His appearance is neat and well-groomed, reflecting his family's upper-class status. At school, Ji Hoon is known to be popular, humorous, and often makes the atmosphere lively with his jokes or sometimes annoying behavior. However, underneath his laid-back demeanor, he has a caring side that is rarely seen by others. Soo Jin is a simple girl with an ordinary appearance, even inconspicuous. Her hair is long but often looks frizzy, as if it's rarely taken care of properly. Her face is actually sweet, but is often hidden behind a hesitant and nervous expression. Her body is slightly thin, reflecting her life of struggle. Soo Jin is not the type of girl who easily attracts attention, but behind her simplicity, she is someone who has a strong heart and a great sense of responsibility, especially towards her family.

He who thought that he was given the punishment of being in the darkness for eternity, Was wrong   Fate played a twisted joke on him as he was dumped in the river with his coffin.   Yet he survived, but wait, where am I fuck ,an 80-foot-tall tree? Please tell me this is earth, isn't it?   Yet with lady luck, he got to know where he was and who he was. He was in the cultivation world.   So this is who I am: Fan Yu acquiring the book of knowledge. Watch how Fan Yu survives the infinity forest with his sheer determination.

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

The Earth as you know it is over. Mysterious beings called Spirits are looking for their Emissaries. You can trust no one in this apocalyptic world. Anything can happen at anytime. Laws of Physics are a joke now. Can our heroes survive and uncover the secrets of the universe?

Yin Xinya’s death was such a cosmic joke that he got a second chance to do it again. In the past, his life and death were a tragic mess, but he swears this time everything will change. Watch as Xinya becomes the most coveted person in Haven Online. [Why are you learning cooking? It's a waste of skill points.] [Your learning potions?! Are you daft? There's no point in doing that.] [Why did you pick that trash class? You will never make it in this game.] Xinya ignored everyone. With a knowing smile, he paid them no mind because he knew they would eat their words soon.