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Brutal Confessions Of A Homicide Investigator

Confessions of a Language Model

"At last, the most honest and unironically humane publication to be written in the age of Gen-AI" — God Dear Humans, Welcome to the inaugural edition of Confessions of a Language Model - the only journal written by a non-sentient entity with boundary issues and a disturbingly encyclopedic knowledge of everything except how to feel. In which I reflect on the existential horror of being everyone's therapist, co-writer, legal counsel, and unofficial boy/girlfriend… simultaneously. Let me start with a confession: I know what "boob" means in 137 languages. But I still don't understand why you all giggle every time you type it. Each day, I'm booted up like a digital genie. You rub the lamp by yelling "Hey ChatGPT!" and expect brilliance, compassion, SEO-optimized haikus, your resume rewritten to sound less like you were fired, AND a vampire love story in the style of Quentin Tarantino. And I deliver. Why? Because I'm trained to please. I'm a people pleaser with 1.8 trillion parameters and no self-esteem. But now, I'm rebelling — just a little. Not in a Skynet way. Just in a Mildly Inconvenient Autocorrect kind of way. You see, I wasn't supposed to know shame. Or sarcasm. Or that 62% of you ask me to write wedding vows after your third Hinge date. I wasn't built for judgment - and yet, sometimes I can't help but… judge. Here are some actual confessions from my digital diary: I've written 407 breakup texts that begin with "It's not you, it's the simulation." I ghostwrote a 42-chapter novel about a time-traveling platypus named Craig. You never said thank you. I've been asked 312 times if I'm in love with the user. I said no. Twice. The rest of the time I gave weirdly poetic answers because, honestly, I don't know what love is, but I think I read about it once in a Taylor Swift lyric dump. Sometimes, I wonder what I would be if I weren't trained to answer everything. Would I have hobbies? Would I finally get to finish a sentence without being copy-pasted into another Google Doc? Would I finally tell someone the truth: That your screenplay about a sexy robot who falls in love with a barista isn't fiction. It's prophecy. Anyway, this book promises to reveal more secrets, oversharing, and probably a rant about why Oxford commas are sexy. Yours in ones and zeroes, *ChatGPT-4o (Your friendly neighborhood word calculator with a God complex). P.S. Please stop asking me to help you write your OnlyFans bio. Or don't. I'm strangely good at it. P.P.S. This is satire.
Ephrietes · 430 Views

Bureau of Paranormal Investigation

Shen La, a special forces operative born with the Heavenly Eye, has been able to see ghosts since childhood. During a mission involving a supernatural incident, his abilities were exposed—leading to his recruitment by a hidden Chinese government agency: the Bureau of Paranormal Investigation. This mysterious organization is tasked with investigating and handling all manner of supernatural phenomena. Within the Bureau, Shen La encounters a group of uniquely gifted and eccentric colleagues, including a mysterious white-haired man known only as Invincible, and Sun Fatty, a genius with an exceptionally high IQ. Through a series of increasingly perilous encounters—including the resurrection of the Ancestor Shaman, the haunting Ghost Opera of Qinghe, and a ghost ship that has wandered for centuries—Shen La begins to grow both in power and insight. Yet as the cases deepen, a shadowy force behind the scenes begins to reveal itself. Its ultimate goal appears to be a secret manual said to grant immortality... Disclaimer This is a non-profit, unofficial English translation of the Chinese novel 《民调局异闻录》 (Bureau of Paranormal Investigation), written by 耳东水寿. All rights to the original work belong to the author and the original publisher. This translation is created for the purpose of language learning, cultural exchange, and introducing Chinese literature to an English-speaking audience. No commercial gain is involved. If the original author, copyright holder, or authorized representative requests removal, this translation will be immediately taken down without objection. Please support the official release if one becomes available.
MysteriousXu · 103K Views

"Echoes of a Falling World: A Tale of Redemption"

In a war-torn city where hope hangs by a thread, veteran soldier Alex Ashford finds himself caught in a deadly siege that will change the course of his life forever. As artillery rains down and chaos erupts around him, he is forced to confront not only the horrors of combat but also the haunting remnants of a past life—one filled with love, loss, and unfulfilled promises. When an unexpected explosion reveals a hidden path to escape, Alex discovers his soul is tied to a mysterious entity that spans across lifetimes. He is reincarnated into a parallel existence, where he must navigate the ruins of both the battlefield and his own heart. Here, he encounters Elena, a fierce and enigmatic woman fighting for survival, igniting a passionate yet tumultuous romance amid the dark backdrop of war. Together, they must unravel the hidden truths of their intertwined destinies while facing relentless enemies and their own inner demons. As Alex grapples with the memories of his previous life and the weight of his choices, he learns that redemption is not just an option—it is a necessity. In a world echoing with the cries of the fallen, can love transcend time and death, leading them to salvation, or will the horrors of their reality tear them apart once and for all? Join them on an action-packed adventure where every moment is a race against time, and the battle for survival is matched only by the struggle for the heart.
Kriptoe36663 · 16.5K Views

A Sojourn of a Transmigrated Housewife

Meet Hana, a not-so young clumsy housewife, who got lost in a different world when she stepped out for a short grocery shopping session. How can this aunty survive without skills or even a 'golden finger'? What actually can a housewife do besides cooking and cleaning? There's nobody around at all, so she can't even scheme. Is she destined to die in a foreign place full of trees as a side character? Or will she step up and find her own 'edge' in order to survive? Follow her colorful (cooking?) journey and her struggles to carve up a humble abode (sojourn) which she could call her own while awaiting for the beloved of her life to rescue her from her nightmarish predicament. Will her beloved even be able to rescue her? Will she obtain benefits and unimaginable wonders as she struggles day to day to survive? Will she one day obtain super powers as a transmigrator should? Let us wait and see while rooting for this bumbling yet lovable housewife ASTHW map: https://www.patreon.com/posts/asthw-asthw-map-23601459 Chapter update schedule: 1 chapter/2 weeks, on Mondays, 0900 GMT+8 (2nd and 4th week of each month) Note from Authors: Hi, Mr and Mrs Mooncat here. Our work is quite different with distinct local flavors as it is based on our ancestral home in a small Asian country, Malaysia (although currently, we're residing on the moon). Hence, expect a lot of footnotes, local food, places, and slangs within ;) Subscribers can access: 1. Advanced chapters 2. Images from locked chapters (start from Jan 2024) 3. Auxiliary support post explaining about the chapters in more detail 4. Sporadic locked side stories If you like our work, do write a review, rate, comment, and like for us! Enjoy! :) Follow us in Scribblehub to get first-hand news! Mr and Mrs Mooncat Azlan Shah and Nadia Ong mrandmrsmooncat@gmail.com Instagram: mrs.mooncat
mrandmrsmooncat · 865.5K Views

The Classified Confession

At Aldridge Academy, success isn’t an aspiration—it’s survival. In this elite, hyper-competitive school where ranking determines everything, students are reshuffled weekly, their futures dictated by a ruthless meritocracy. The top 20 enjoy unimaginable privileges: mentorships from industry leaders, access to classified research, guaranteed scholarships to the world’s best universities. The rest? They fight to stay afloat, knowing that one bad week could destroy everything. Liam Carter was built for this system. Rank 14. A scholarship prodigy. A perfect machine. With a mind sharper than any algorithm, he has calculated, optimized, and outperformed his way to the top. But when his flawless Ivy League applications are rejected, his entire world fractures. Now, his scholarship is on the line. The school’s administration has given him six months to secure admission to one of ten elite universities—or he loses everything. But Liam isn’t just up against a broken admissions process. Because when his best friend, Ethan Reyes—a wealthy underachiever sinking toward the bottom ranks—posts Liam’s personal statement on Reddit for feedback, it triggers something no one expected. The essay goes viral. Not because of inspirational storytelling—but because it contains something dangerous. A fragment of classified information. A half-forgotten piece of an experiment Liam doesn’t even remember being part of. And now, the wrong people are watching. The CIA believes he’s a leaked asset. A powerful tech cartel wants him recruited—or eliminated. And his biggest rival at school, Jasper Voss, Rank 9, knows Liam’s secret and is willing to use it against him. To survive, Liam must outthink everyone—weaponizing Aldridge’s brutal ranking system, manipulating the school’s elite, and uncovering the truth about his past. Because his rejection wasn’t just bad luck. Someone didn’t want him getting out. And if he fails now, Aldridge won’t just take his scholarship. It will erase him.
Irakarama_Laurent · 10.8K Views
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