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Best Ur Mom Jokes

The System Thinks I'm a Joke (But I'll Take OP)

Kai's life sucks. Born with meridians like a cracked teacup, he can't hold Qi and is the laughingstock of his cultivation clan. After his jealous "best friend" frames him and has him dumped in a monster-infested forest to die, Kai hits rock bottom – bruised, broken, and literally beast-chow. Enter the System. Just when Kai curses his fate, a shimmering blue screen pops up: "The Absolute Bullshit Cultivator System Activated!" Its name is ridiculous, its attitude sarcastic ("Peak Level Trash" status, really?), but its gifts? Instant. A healing elixir patches him up. A movement technique downloads straight into his brain. Powerful pills flood his dantian with more Qi than he's ever felt. Suddenly OP? Kinda. Kai isn't a god... yet. But dodging a charging Razorback Boar with impossible, lightning-crab speed? Check. Leading spirit beasts on frustrating chases while laughing like a maniac? Check. This "bullshit" system just turned the world's biggest loser into its luckiest cheat code. His mission now? Survive the woods. Get stronger. Unlock more absurd system perks. And absolutely wreck the faces of everyone who threw him away. With a sarcastic AI in his head and the universe's cheat codes at his fingertips, Kai's path to becoming stupidly overpowered begins with one simple step: running away really, really fast. And maybe embracing the absolute bullshit. The path to OP starts here. Get ready for face-slapping, fast progression, and a system that thinks it's hilarious.
Malevolentnick · 9.6K Views

Le Cœur Qu'il a Volé Deux Fois

C'était de notoriété publique que Lucas Ryan m'avait épousée uniquement par ressentiment, incapable d'être avec la femme qu'il adorait vraiment. Durant nos cinq années d'union, il jouait le rôle du conjoint idéal en public—un cardiologue célèbre admiré par beaucoup. Cependant, dans l'intimité de notre foyer, il était distant et détaché, demandant fréquemment le divorce. Puis Evelyn Snow, son premier amour, est revenue au pays en raison de problèmes de santé. Lucas s'est consacré à ses soins, quittant rarement son chevet. Il m'a même mise en garde à plusieurs reprises : "L'état cardiaque d'Eve est fragile. Si tu oses apparaître et lui causer du stress, notre mariage est définitivement terminé." Enfin, lors de sa centième demande de divorce, j'ai cédé. Ce que Lucas ignorait, cependant, c'est que j'attendais déjà son enfant. En route vers le tribunal pour finaliser la procédure de divorce, j'ai été impliquée dans une collision automobile. Ma vie et celle de mon bébé à naître se sont éteintes en un instant. Lucas n'a pas reçu les papiers du divorce ce jour-là, mais il a appris qu'Evelyn avait trouvé un donneur de cœur idéal. Euphorique, il s'est précipité à l'hôpital et a réalisé l'opération lui-même, prélevant le cœur de mon corps sans vie pour l'implanter dans le sien. Ce n'est qu'après qu'il s'est souvenu de notre divorce—mais à ce moment-là, mon téléphone ne sonnerait plus jamais.
ManyWriters · 631 Views

A Husband For Killer Mom

Blurp: What kind of husband punishes his wife by spanking her ass? An insane and sadistic husband! "How long are you going to punish me?!" "I'm done with your punishment a while ago." Qiao Anxia jerked in a fury and immediately rose to her feet while tidying up her one-piece dress. Her hands touched her buttocks without realizing it, feeling the heat from the man's punishment. She didn't know if this burning feeling was from Richard's unpainful spanking or for another reason... How she wished she could kill this man! ~~~~~ One is a HERO, and the other is an ASSASSIN! The HERO tries to seduce his wife at every opportunity while the ASSASSIN wants to run away and if necessary… kill her husband to get all his fortune! Qiao Anxia is an assassin with a dark past. One day she plots her revenge by intending to ruin someone's marriage by sleeping with her husband. Lost the first night just for revenge, but... the one she slept with was her target's playful twin brother!?? Richard Calvin, a well-known man who is a hero for the victims of the injustice of the politicians, becomes Qiao Anxia's most priority target. After trying to forget the most memorable night with the beautiful girl who set him up, a lovely little girl came into his life and calls him... Papa!? What happens when these two contradictory natures get married only just because an inevitably cute and amusing genius baby girl wants to marry them off? And that baby girl was the result of their intercourse on that unforgettable, passionate hot night!
VorstinStory · 638.9K Views
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