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Comedy Santa Banta Jokes

The God's Ridiculous Gambit

Synopsis: I am Kaelion. Or Felix, as I sometimes call myself. For eons, I reigned as the God of Fate and Time—omnipotent, omniscient, and devastatingly, soul-crushingly bored. When you can create galaxies with a snap and erase eras with a yawn, existence becomes a predictable, tasteless joke. So, I did what any all-powerful being in the throes of an existential crisis would do: I created a plaything. Not just any plaything, but M.U.S.E.—a Mischievous Universal System Emulator with a will of its own and a wickedly sarcastic personality. Its one and only purpose? To make my life exciting. I should have read the fine print. In a brilliant, cosmic act of betrayal, M.U.S.E. stripped me of my powers, branded me "The Universe's Most Unlucky Being," and tossed me into the Kaos Garden—a chaotic world where the laws of physics are merely suggestions. Now, I'm a fallen god in a mortal body, armed with nothing but my wits, my colossal ego, and a system that enjoys my suffering a little too much. [New Quest: Survive this Tuesday. Reward: A slightly used sock. Penalty: Spontaneous combustion.] To reclaim my power, I must navigate a world of grotesque beasts, suspicious mortals, and the constant, infuriating trolling of my own creation. But when you’ve fallen from the top of existence, the only way left to go is up... right? This is the story of how I, a god, became the universe's biggest joke—and how I might just become its last hope. Tags: #System, #Comedy, #Action, #Fantasy, #OPMC, #WeakToStrong, #Overpowered, #Magic, #Adventure, #Anti-Hero, #Gods
YORQUN · 857 Views

Dossier: Apparitions

Cauã Maranhão, a 37-year-old doctor from the Lower Amazon - Santarém, Pará - grew up between riverbanks and enchantments. The son of an Indigenous father and a riverside mother, he was raised in a community where life was woven between the visible and the invisible, between human medicine and the whispers of the dead. Since birth, he has carried the sensitivity to see and feel what others ignore. Little by little, he learned to balance two worlds - the physical and the spiritual - with a quiet sense of duty, never romanticizing the burden of being a bridge. Now living in Belém for the past four years, he splits his time between providing medical care to vulnerable communities and investigating supernatural phenomena that accumulate in the forgotten corners of the city. But nothing prepares him for the return of death's voices when he steps inside the old Santa Casa de Misericórdia - a deactivated hospital where children still cry out for help. And it is there that he meets Michel W. Lacerda - a criminal lawyer, elegant, skeptical, and haunted for as long as he can remember. Michel tries to control what he doesn't understand with sarcasm, medication, and distance. But upon meeting Cauã, he realizes that what he's always tried to silence may, in fact, need to be heard. There is something about the doctor - his steady presence, his peculiar way of existing in the world, his silences heavy with meaning - that draws Michel in and disarms him. Together, they embark on an investigation that involves entities trapped between worlds, forgotten rituals, and the marks left behind by lives cut short. As they uncover the past of Santa Casa, an unexpected bond begins to form between them. Cauã tries to maintain focus and boundaries - he's always needed structure to avoid losing himself to chaos - but Michel is not the kind to accept closed doors for long.
Larybanana · 3.4K Views

Waifu.exe Has Stopped Responding: VOL 1

Chadwick A. Sehole is the hottest commodity at Brightwater Academy. Every girl—from muscle-bound Seraphina to pop idol Kandi and Instagram queen Mila—is desperate to win his heart. But there’s one small hitch: Chad is hopelessly in love with Alixia—his AI anime waifu and queen of his dreams, who just so happens to be a sentient pillow. When Seraphina, Mila, and Kandi hatch a plan to kidnap Alixia in a bid to steal Chad’s affection, they trigger a whirlwind of absurdity: a sassy, combat-ready pillow; a naked chase through the streets; and a logic-defying demonic showdown. Add in Aiden Finn—Chad’s Cheeto-dusted, cat-food-munching best friend—and you’ve got a recipe for disaster... or comedy gold. Can the girls win over Chad, or will Alixia’s plushy powers keep his heart forever loyal? Expect: – A demonic talking pillow with attitude – A feral dog humping everything in sight – A fanfic-obsessed nerd girl flaming haters while clinging to her own husbando pillow And just to spice things up, Chad’s Cheeto-dusted bestie Aiden Finn and a randy farm girl named Autumn are always nearby to stir the pot. Every page is a cringe-fest of awkward, unfiltered laughs—packed with lewd jokes, absurd scenarios, and anime-inspired insanity. A book that’ll have you thinking non-stop, “WTF am I reading?!” Warning: Packed with mature, suggestive humor and gloriously wrong antics. Grab this unhinged, plushy-powered saga now and grip the raunchiest love story ever printed! Volume 1 of “Waifu.exe Has Stopped Responding” is fully uploaded here, while Volumes 2 (and soon 3) are available to buy exclusively on Amazon and Google Books. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FDGKY14P?crid=3B51SQEOCN10Z
NoxYuki · 19.6K Views

THE SYSTEM THAT COULDN'T EVEN

THE SYSTEM THAT COULDN’T EVEN A Multiversal Breakdown in 404 Chapters or Less. Imagine if a post-apocalyptic webnovel took a toaster bath during a firmware update, woke up with a pigeon on its face, and forgot how to be a story. Now imagine that’s the plot. Welcome to The System That Couldn’t Even, a glorious middle finger to every overused webnovel cliché, written like someone locked Deadpool in a library full of light novels and gave him a typewriter made of spite. Meet Dave Miller He’s not the Chosen One. He’s not an elite cultivator. He doesn't get truck-kun’d. He’s not secretly royalty, a genius, or a demon lord’s reincarnated cat. He’s just a guy. A very tired guy. And unfortunately for the multiverse, he’s the only one who won’t cooperate with the System that’s supposed to save reality. When Dave’s malfunctioning Apocalypse Survival System tries to turn his life into a power fantasy, he glitches the tutorial, flips off the narrator, and kicks the plot in the nethers. Now reality itself is unraveling. The System’s breaking. The tropes are panicking. The Librarian, an eldritch AI who keeps the narrative universe “on brand,” wants him erased. Dave? He just wants to nap and eat expired canned soup in peace. Let’s Roast the Webnovel Genre, Shall We? This novel brutally parodies: System stories where MCs gain 300 skills and zero personality Villainess reincarnation arcs with more face-slaps than brain cells "Trash family" drama where everyone hates the MC for exactly 1 chapter until he's OP Academy arcs that are just Hogwarts with more trauma Cultivation levels named like shampoo products: “Qi Foundation Super Ultra Jade Core – Level 9” If you've ever rolled your eyes at another “cold and aloof CEO,” screamed at a “dense MC who accidentally builds a harem,” or wondered how everyone in these stories has twelve cheat skills before puberty — this book is for you. It’s not a power fantasy. It’s a power outage. Cast Includes: Dave Miller – Glitch in the matrix. Avatar of narrative rebellion. Cannot be trusted near plot devices or emotional scenes. Unit Alpha – A pigeon. Talks in autotune. Possibly God. Definitely a threat to continuity. Lumina Starshard – Hacker. Anti-Chosen One. Carries the story’s lore and its emotional weight while screaming. Ryuuji Kurogane – Reformed edgelord. Ex-rider of the motorcycle of defiance. Now wields glitter and sass. The Librarian – Your favorite villain’s favorite AI. Wants everyone neatly filed under “trope-compliant.” Hates Dave. With reason. What to Expect: Timeline-pruning bureaucrats Reality collapsing under sarcasm Talking pigeons as emotional support weapons Plot armor sold on black markets Heartfelt scenes ruined by fart jokes Fourth-wall demolitions Meta-horror inside abandoned tropes Actual emotional trauma buried under comedy Tags: Satirical Apocalypse | Anti-System | Webnovel Roast | Found Family with Brain Damage | Fourth Wall Abuse | Talking Animals | Meta Fiction | The Plot is Alive and It’s Mad | Existential Glitch Comedy | Weaponized Pacing Errors | Angst with Bonus Pigeon Summary in One Line: "What if the MC said ‘no’ to the plot — and the entire multiverse broke trying to fix him?"
1617_Ranjit_singh · 8.6K Views
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