Sex Jokes Funny

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Will a betrayed and murdered ancient vampire be able to come back to life and take revenge on those who betrayed him? Will he be able to rebuild his clan and impose his sense of justice in a modern and corrupt world? Will he be able to find allies to support all his plans in a terrible spiral of blood, sex and violence. Only fate will be able to tell if the vampire who has returned from the ashes of time will be able to face all the enemies, the betrayals, the love and his own lust that consumes him.

Lilith is a woman of modern world who died under her lust which was never ending and her cause of death of was having exhausted herself from 7 hours of continuous intimate contact with multiple men without any break in between. She was rich and her influence was strong enough for her to afford this type of lifestyle. After death, her soul descended into hell where instead of getting tortured, she started to relieve her lust by using demons as intimate partner, for her it was just sex that matter and there is no moral which can stop her. At having physical relationship with 100th demon, a swirl appeared as it sucked her soul into it making it inhibit a body of young lady in parallel world which does not have much differences from real world she was in. But she wasn’t alone which passed through that swirl, her lust passed along along her and it took a part of hell in her which was one of seven original sins, named ‘Lust’. This Sin later manifested as the system granting her missions of depravity which she already loved. [ Mission- Seduce your stepfather and kick out your mother from home. ] [ Time limit- None ] [ Reward- Aura skill ] [ Penalty- At failing the mission, you would have to have physical relation with three beggars at same time. ] [ Failing Scenario- Your stepfather try to mend your ways of life. ]

For more R-18 lewd and depravities check out my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/YuujiEveryleaf An old man dies, torn by regret. Due to his high karma, he has "near-limitless possibilities for reincarnation". He chooses to reincarnate in a fantasy world as a voluptuous futanari succubus with big tits and an irresistible smile. 1st place winner of ScribbleHub's Metus Writing Contest. Discussion and updates: https://discord.gg/SbZe2qv

Seeing this, the young migrant worker laughed even crazier and pushed me towards my mother. I couldn't help leaning forward and fell on my mother's soft body. Fortunately, I supported myself with my elbow in time and didn't press her. "Let's start! I'll let your son fuck you. You won't call the police, right?" After the young migrant worker finished speaking, his eyes revealed a fierce look. He pressed my head with one hand, moved the dagger, and pretended to cut my neck. "Stop!" My mother screamed. In the empty floors, even in the wasteland near the unfinished building, the sound echoed continuously, and it was particularly shrill when listened carefully. The young migrant worker sneered at my mother. But my mother could only bite her silver teeth and glared at him with fire in her eyes. After taking a few deep breaths to adjust herself, she asked coldly: "I agree to your request, but you must abide by the agreement."

Standalone stories exploring bondage sex, dominance and submission, captivating power dynamics, threesome, multifuck and rape. Indulge in your wildest dreams, brought to life on every page :)

In the heart of Beijing, under the glittering skyline of progress and power, one man lives a double life. By day, he is a diligent employee in a state-owned corporation, navigating the suffocating maze of bureaucracy, hidden agendas, and tightly wound hierarchies. By night, he becomes a shadow, suppressing his true self as a gay man in a society where conformity is prized and secrets are currency. Bound by the golden chains of stability and cultural expectations, he teeters on the edge of self-destruction as his desires clash with the cold reality of corporate and societal demands. Through chaotic, erotic, and sometimes darkly humorous escapades, he discovers unexpected allies, unspoken rules, and the raw beauty of defiance. The novel chronicles his journey from being trapped—professionally, personally, and emotionally—to slowly reclaiming his freedom. Along the way, we are taken deep into Beijing's corporate culture, its forbidden love affairs, and the vibrant yet suffocating life of a man desperate to escape. This is a story of rebellion, identity, and liberation, set against the backdrop of one of the world’s most enigmatic cities. It is a daring exploration of love, ambition, and the price one pays for freedom. Raw, gripping, and deeply personal, *How I Escaped from Beijing: Odyssey of a Corporate Prisoner* is not just a journey out of a city—it’s a journey toward self-acceptance and truth.

Alden wasted his first life. Bound by unseen strings, his every step followed a script he never wrote. Always trapped, yet never daring to break free—until it was too late. But death was not the end. “You’ve squandered your life once. Use that memory as a reference of what not to do.” “That’s just rude.” Summoned by Asta, the enigmatic god of adventure, Alden is granted a second chance. Bestowed the title of Adventure Apostle and tasked with a single command: live a life worth telling. But reality has its own plans. A story worth telling demands struggles worth surviving, and freedom was never free. As Alden charts his path through a strange, untamed world, whispers of unseen forces and shadowy designs follow his every step. To fight or to surrender—what does it mean to truly live when the strings of fate remain firmly out of reach? A journey of curses, gods, and the fragile threads of choice begins!

some sort stories of taboo This story is a complete work of fiction; any resemblance to anyone, alive or dead is pure coincidence. All of the characters in this story are 18 years and older.

What are the pros and the cons of regressing back in time? Pros: Certainly, sure, you have a second chance. Another opportunity to fight for survival, to somehow win against the damned pest invaders, and to save the ones that you couldn’t before. But cons: It’s just impossible. Why even bother? The twin, Azia and Cyril Belmont have two completely different opinions on this matter. For Azia, this whole thing is a miracle. It isn’t just a second life for her, but for everyone on earth to once again fight for their survival. And this time, she will win. She will make sure of it. What kind of idiot would turn this down? As for Cyril, he just wonders why the fuck is he even here. How the hell is he supposed to change anything that would stop the earth from crumbling away? What? Is randomly turning left instead of going right on a sunny day would somehow miraculously stop the damn sky from tearing apart?? And who the fuck is responsible for this!? They certainly don’t have any answers. *** Author note: This story has two protagonists and will be told from both point-of-views, so the first few chapters might be a little long and rocky as some information might be repeated. But I promise it’s not going to be much, just give me some time to sort out the writing style and world’s building. Later on, they will embark on two different journeys that will make this writing approach more smooth and convenient, maybe, probably. Also, I’m very new to writing so please feel free to comment and help out this author-nim out. That’s all, enjoy the read!

This story contains Elemental magic and mysteries to come! Updates 1 chapter a day —There was a shout, and I turned to see we were surrounded by a couple dozen men dressed fully in black. “Who are you!?” Clay called to them. I pushed forward till I was standing beside him. “We are the shadows..” I stared at them. “We have come for our revenue!” The man who was speaking had a voice that was airy, almost like he wasn’t real. “We have done nothing to you!” I called out. “Have you not?“ there as an echo of high pitched chuckles. “You dirt, stole our master and brought him into this world before you killed his father.” I was lost. I couldn't tell what he was even talking about. “What master? What is his name?” I asked in a loud voice, fighting to make it sound strong. “Leonurus! He is a master of shadows, and a master of darkness.” “And how did we take him?” The man chuckled again. “You are one to talk, greedy woman, you are the one who stole him!.” He pointed at me. “What is he talking about, is he from that other world?” I shook my head. “Your cursed spells, you try to deny it!” I stepped forward away from the huddled group behind me. “I have never messed with the darkness!” He stared at me. “You are the one that took him away through birth.” It hit me and I flinched, the baby! “I don’t know where he is.” I finally said after a second. PS: There are many different POVs but only one main couple in each vol -NOT A HAREM-

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

Having a normal life is not enough. Having the ability to tame beauties from Netherworld is not enough. What i need is all; it is not just greed but destiny that follows my path It all started with a single application. I got a game that seemed rather interesting. However, I never imagined that if I manage to capture the taming beast in the game, I will gain money and a reputation that no one else in the world can match—as long as I keep getting them all. Catching flying type: [Host has been awarded with.][Basic Coding Mastery.] Catching ground type: [Host has been awarded with.][10 thousand global dollars.] Catching ghost type: [Host has been awarded with.][Night Atler: Skill.] With my taming app. I will tame them all. Even the destiny.

"My life is shit, sorrounded by fornicators, bitches and many crazy gigs our there, yes I am.. ..... Lexa the most famous bitch in L.A I always admire sex as I have already sex with Rich men,..... poor men..... Barbers,..... tattooed guys,..... Cute boys,...... Black boys,...... Rockstars,...... College boys,...... Farmers,...... Sugar Daddies,..... Married men,... Ghetto boys... And so much more. In life sex is my first priority, I'm addicted but actually I'm not alone... I have four chicks with me I met them all during sex, two of them in foursome and other in Lesbians.... Now we all live together spreading the sex pleasure to the society as we are known to be Mistresses of Sex'

The excitement was running wild among everyone as it was The System Ceremony, where each individual is infused with their systems. Jacob, an ordinary guy was no different. To his joy, he got the system where points are gained by doing perverted tasks and indulging in sexual activities: The Sex Beast System. Well, that joy lasted for mere seconds before he noticed the other specifications of this system... which made him almost faint with shock. What Jacob thought to be a broken system at first, tuned out be something entirely different from even his wildest imagination possible... and completely changed his entire life. ___________________ Note: Hello! I am the original author, Roeselawik. My main account was having some problems, especially regarding SBS, so I decided to upload the story again. This is the re-edited version and I corrected as many grammatical mistakes as I could find. There are some slight changes as well, but the story is the same as before. Enjoy! Tags: System, Harem, Explicit sex scenes, Perverted protagonist, Netori, Elves, Devils, Beastkin, Dragons, Dwarves, Beautiful women, Big breasts, First-time Intercourse, Anal, Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Weak to strong MC, etc. Donate to help me continue writing and also get access to advance chapters:- https://www.patreon.com/Roeselawik Join my discord for updates:- https://discord.gg/2CD5R2R Thank you for supporting me!

When Persephone Athena James first met Bodhi Patrick O'Neill, a bond formed between them. As time passed and they grew, a love formed between them. When the future became the present, their secrets divided them. What secrets are they hiding and can the truth lead them back together?

[Mature content—Read at your own risk, be careful. It's highly recommend] Meet Lena Candice Marshall, the most innocent girl in this world from Russian descent. Beautiful. Doctor. With delicious ass. Her life was so simple and decided. She was locked inside her dad's rules, regulations, and policies. Like a bird inside a cage. Always following her dad what's her dad wanted. She was at school and at home all the time. Had a babysitter with her until college. When she had her school's free time, she read educational books like daddy wants to learn more-not even let her read magazines. Only educational books. When she was in college, daddy was coming to pick her up. And she listened-as she believed that's what good daughters do, right? Listen to their parents. And as expected, she didn't deal with these words-Love...Feelings...Jealousy... Emotion...Lust...Desire. In a word, she didn't know anything about the opposite sex. Meet Ace Jordan Steele, the most handsome CEO in Downtown in New York. All the woman and even his secretory lusting over his body. Hell yeah! He didn't f***ing care. But he could any woman in his bed he f****ing wants. He always wanted to be alone and didn't want to be disturbed. Wanted to be getting rich instead of stalking play around. And the top of this, he won't shoot Spaniard and Russian girls because of the death of his mother-sister-that he will never forget in his life. He can't tolerate any girl from Spanish and Russian descent. Lena Candice Marshall. Ace Jordan Steele. What will happen when their paths cross? Lusting over Lena Candice will not good for Jordan Steele's health. Can Jordan Steele stop his erection from every time Lena's near? If he can't control his massive erection, disaster will strike in the name of desire and lust. And how will she accept these new feelings? And what about betrayed?

"Let me ruin you more than the drugs ever can" Los Angeles, California the city of angels, expect a dark prince rules it Zane parson who is a self made Billionaire, wears a tailored suit and calls it "casual wear", and prick, has one mission to live. He's almost turning 30 in one year exactly, before he has to announce his arranged marriage, to a airhead at the end of the year Meets Alice, a carefree pothead, who is a nyctophilia, always biting her nails, and doing a sexy gulp when she's scared, she's the only angel in Los Angeles, Alice only has one mission too though, forget. even though they met in the dark, can Zane save his fallen angel and bring her the light? or will it be too late

A young man ventures into the city alone, works in a company full of beautiful women, struggles and writes a legend of entrepreneurship. Well, a story about a man with no money and power "bullies" a group of young, beautiful, charming, gentle, skilled, dignified, beautiful and kind women...

"Miles," I said again, my voice a bit shaky now. "Why did you bring me here?" He turned to face me, his expression suddenly serious. He stepped closer, and I felt my back press against the cold wall behind me. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. "I like you," he whispered. My mind went blank. For a few seconds, I just stood there, staring at him, not sure if I had heard him right. Then, out of nowhere, I burst out laughing. It wasn’t that I didn’t take him seriously; I just didn’t know how else to react. Miles was not the type of person to confess his feelings like that. This had to be a joke, right? "Miles, you—" I started, but before I could finish, he grabbed me by the collar and kissed me. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. It was rough, almost desperate. I froze, my mind reeling. This couldn’t be happening. But it was. His lips were on mine, his body pressed against me. For a moment, I was too shocked to do anything, but then I shoved him away with all the strength I had left, my heart racing in my chest. "What the hell, Miles?" I shouted, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and confusion. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression calm, too calm. "I’m sorry," he said quietly. "It was just a joke." "The plot revolves around Miles and leo, two high school boys who were once friends but are now just strangers. But what happens when, one day, Miles kisses leo and tells him that he likes him? But it's just a joke....? What the heck! Leo didn't like this joke at all.

making you smile is top priority, smile always.

When ambition meets supernatural power, in a world of ancient magic, young Napoleon Bonaparte must fight against his rivals and his own demons if he is to achieve his glorious goal. By the time he finally rises, will greatness be worth the sacrifice? Submerge yourself in "Iron Crown: The Legend of Bonaparte"-the compelling story of strategy, betrayal, and relentless drive toward one's destiny!

Reaper Academy: Class of Chaos follows the journey of Takahashi Kyo, a rebellious and lazy teenager who dies in a freak accident only to be thrust into the chaotic afterlife. Instead of passing on, Kyo is resurrected and enrolled in Reaper Academy, a supernatural school where students train to become reapers tasked with guiding souls and battling rogue spirits. magical incidents. Kyo’s reckless , his clumsy but good-hearted best friend, Kyo navigates the chaos of reaper training, dangerous trials, and the mystery surrounding the Death Shadows. As Kyo grows stronger, he uncovers secrets about the Academy and his own mysterious connection to these ancient entities. Blending fast-paced action, comedy, and supernatural adventure,

Paisley was the one who ended her relationship with Aspen, reasoning that she couldn’t see a future in that relationship. And yet, she’s the one who couldn’t move on. No matter how Paisley tried to love someone else, at the end of the day, before she closed her eyes to sleep, the gray eyes of Aspen were still the last thing that she was thinking of. She had already lost count of the times she regretted that she broke up with Aspen, but she had never done anything to make Aspen back. The last time they saw each other was the day they broke up. Not because Aspen didn’t try to win Paisley back, but because Paisley White was the one who did everything to avoid Aspen. Seven years later, after their breakup, Paisley coincidentally meets Aspen in a bar where Paisley’s friend chose to celebrate her birthday. It was supposed to be just a fun night until Paisley pulled Aspen for a kiss as they lay on the bed. It was supposed to be harmless. It was supposed to mean nothing. But because she still had feelings for Aspen, it didn’t become "just nothing", but became everything for her as she fell even deeper into Aspen Harrison. But this time, she was alone. She was falling alone because, unlike Paisley, Aspen managed to move forward and now is in a relationship with someone else.