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Cringey Things To Say When In Trouble

My Cuteness Gets Me In Trouble

Say it with me: "We listen, and we don’t judge." Okay, so hear me out. I may have made a small mistake. But to be fair, how was I supposed to know that the cherry blossom tree I fell asleep under was home to the cutest squirrel ever to exist? Like, ever. A squirrel that just so happened to be the beloved pet of a powerful demon goddess from another world. I didn’t mean to grab it in my sleep and cuddle it to death. I swear! Its tail was just so fluffy! I think... I can’t be too sure since I was loopy on cough medicine. I had this really bad cold thanks to my idiot brother, who can’t seem to cover his fudging mouth. I’m getting off track, aren’t I? Sorry, sorry. Anyway, after the demon goddess sensed her pet’s life come to an untimely end, she teleported to its last location and found my sleeping self cuddling the dead thing. Remember, "We listen, and we don’t judge!" I can’t be the only sleep-cuddler here! So, in her rage and pain, the demoness kicked me into another tree—at least, I’m assuming that’s what happened, because when I woke up in agonizing pain, my head was stuck in said tree. As you can imagine, I died soon after. Bled out, the whole shebang. Long story short, the drop-dead gorgeous (hehe, see what I did there?) demoness—whom I may or may not have developed a major crush on—ended my life. Hey! Don’t judge. She gave me warm chestnuts. Golden chestnuts. That’s clearly love, right? Wait, where was I? Oh, right. My future wifey turned me into the cutest, most adorable squirrel ever! The upside—besides being able to nap on the demoness’s perfect chest? It’s the fact that, while I’m no longer a human girl, I could eventually evolve back into a human form. All I have to do is level up. If only people would stop trying to capture me and make me their pet! Back off! I know I'm cute, but I belong to my Wifey. You can't have this cute squirrel!"
Mango_Sloth · 4.1K Views

When darkness falls in love

Excerpt* As Cian removed his jacket, revealing a serpent-like tattoo on his chest, a chill ran down her spine. “Who sent you?” she asked, her voice quivering as she clutched the sheets tightly around her. Cian smirked, “Which insignificant creature would dare to command me?” Confused, she glanced at the doors, praying for someone to walk in and save her from this dangerous stranger. “Then why are you here?” she managed to ask, her heart pounding in her chest. Cian casually tossed his jacket onto the nearest chair, revealing his muscular chest and the glowing, serpent-like tattoo that coiled around it. “For you, sweetheart,” he replied, his voice deep and seductive. She stared into his piercing, emerald-green eyes, awed by their luminescence. They seemed to pierce right through her, illuminating her heart and igniting a fire within her that she couldn’t quite extinguish. As Cian moved closer, he bent down to look her directly in the eyes, his gaze penetrating. “Marry me,” he whispered, his voice low and dangerous. She recoiled in horror, pushing his hand away as she tried to back away from him. “Pardon me, my Lord, but I must refuse your offer,” she said, her voice shaking with fear. Cian let out a low, sinister laugh as he pulled off his shirt, revealing the full extent of the tattoo that seemed to writhe and twist on his skin. He crawled onto the bed, pinning her down as he loomed over her. She struggled against him, trying to break free from his grip, but he was too strong. He leaned in close, his breath hot against her skin as he whispered, “Sweetheart, what is mine is mine, and what is yours is mine.” “She froze, her heart racing as she realized the danger she was in and how ridiculously aroused she was getting. Cian, with his piercing gaze and devilish grin, knew exactly what he was doing.
Love_chi_24 · 11.5K Views
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