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Humour Baise

Sword in Stone

Artie had lived her whole life feeling like a joke. Whether it came to her full name, her parents ‘abandoning’ her and her next door neighbours taking her in, or finding out that her lover was part of a cult and was cheating on her. Said lover then stabbed her. It felt like she just couldn’t catch a break. So when she found herself in a puddle of her own blood, staring up at a fake painted sky, she could only find humour in the situation, and prayed that the next life was kinder. Only she woke up. In the same body, with the same stab wound, only in a world full of magic, swords, and a dead King Arthur? Yup. The round table existed, the knights existed, and so did everyone of legend that she’d heard about as a child. Only it was the beginning of their tales. Nothing had happened yet, except the formation of Camelot, the crowning of the King, and then the sudden death of the King of Legend, King Arthur Pendragon. She would have thought this was another cruel joke if everyone wasn’t wandering around in mourning clothes. If this was a practical joke, it wasn’t a very funny one. Artie was tired. She’d already spent almost a decade working as a police officer, and then a detective, so she felt like she had earned her peace. Especially after all the shit she’d been put through, but someone had different plans. And Artie’s life wasn’t quite done yet. In fact, it seemed like in the eyes of the creatures of this world, this was where she was always meant to be. The time she spent getting her ass handed to her in the other dimension? Just a warm up. And now she was expected to just…go along with what everyone else wanted her to do? Including magical beings who were responsible for taking her from one dimension to another. Artie felt like she was in over her head, even if there were several concerned, attractive knights around her. She wasn’t sure if she was going to run away from all the new responsibilities, or embrace them. She wasn’t a rule breaker by nature, but maybe now was the time to change?
CalyB · 109.2K Views

Various Threads of Fate

In the bustling heart of New Delhi, Dhruv Sharma is a man with a past that has left him wary of trust and friendships. At 27, he’s dedicated to his work in an IT company and his family's well-being, but beneath his calm exterior lies a history of betrayal that keeps him isolated from the world. Assigned to a high-stakes project, Dhruv is forced to collaborate closely with his colleagues—Karan, whose humour lightens the office mood; Aryan, his dependable friend; and Ananya, a curious and caring soul who begins to see the cracks in Dhruv’s armour. However, when Dhruv’s silence during a crucial moment leads to a misunderstanding, tensions flare, especially with Ananya, who starts to question if she ever truly knew him. As past traumas resurface and personal boundaries are tested, Dhruv finds himself at a crossroads: Will he continue to let his fear of betrayal dictate his life, or will he take a chance on the fragile bonds of friendship that are forming around him? And as Ananya grapples with her feelings, will she discover the truth behind Dhruv’s guarded nature, or will their connection crumble under the weight of unspoken words? An ongoing serialized fiction exploring the complexities of trust, the shadows of past betrayals, and the possibility of redemption through unexpected friendships. But as the story unfolds, one question remains: Can Dhruv break free from his fears, or will he forever remain trapped in the echoes of his past?
kushalsingh9838 · 2.8K Views

Reincarnated As A Mosquito

Get ready to swat away tears of laughter and brace yourself for the most buzzworthy adventure of the century! Meet Ben Franklin, the world's foremost expert in attracting bad luck and the unlikeliest hero you'll ever encounter. From stumbling over his own shoelaces to triggering fire alarms with a single glance, Ben's life is a never-ending comedy of errors. And if you thought his luck would change in the afterlife, think again! Even the god of opportunity couldn't resist the magnetic pull of Ben's bad luck charms. Just as Ben was about to embark on a new adventure in the great beyond, fate took a hilarious twist. A glitch in the universe turned him into a mutant mosquito, reincarnated along with the very reincarnation system itself! Now that's what you call a bug in the matrix! The absence of a reincarnation system in the universe has resulted in a cosmic crisis. With dead souls wandering aimlessly and lifeless babies popping out like deflated balloons, it's up to our unlikely hero to solve the mystery and save the day! Now armed with six legs, buzzing wings, and an insatiable thirst for adventure (and, let's not forget, blood), the legend of Ben Franklin, the most unlikely hero in the insect kingdom, began. With his quirky sense of humour and insatiable thirst for justice, he embarked on a hilarious and unconventional quest to save the universe, leaving behind a trail of itchy mosquito bites and bacterial infections in his wake.
Xero_5825 · 1.1M Views

Silent Caster's Journey:A hero, a villain and a Psychopath

The story follows Onver, a mute character who has endured nightmares since childhood. Bullied relentlessly by his acquaintances and falsely accused by the democratic world of Earth, he experiences a series of misfortunes and terrifying nightmares. Consequently from his childhood, because of that he develops a conflicting bipolar personality that constantly battles between an urge to kill and the suppression of such thoughts. However, Onver's life takes an unexpected turn when he is kidnapped by a secret organization conducting human experiments. He becomes the subject of a torturous experiment and eventually loses his life. but wait he once again Awakens in the same world and same body. Upon awakening, he finds himself back on Earth, only to discover extraordinary hidden realms coexisting alongside Earth. These mystical realms are brimming with magic and inhabitants unlike those on Earth. As the boundaries between those realms blur, with the magical realm encroaching upon Earth, Onver embarks on an epic journey within this wondrous land. Along his path, he must grapple with his internal struggles, confront his haunting past, and unearth the truth hidden within his newfound existence. -------------- [{Warning: This work is purely fiction, and it does not promote any kind of violence against any living being. Please read with caution. This contains hardcore gore and psychologically twisted things }] Tags |Dark| Evil | Mute Mc | Slow pace | Weak to strong| [Antihero] |Wrong to evil |Tragedy | Dark humour | Magical Mystery | No system or reincarnation | Slow development |
Uncle_Moon · 244.7K Views

lollolol

Its always the main character of the story who raises, to the top however that is to be expected, its predictable, but what if an actual cannon fodder the weakest being in existence, destined to die by fate, with no cheat code or over powered system, is able to become the most powerful cannon fodder in the universe, to be able to work under cover, use his brain, to orchestrate the most powerful beings, he has never being gifted by the gods like favourable, he is just a side character like all of us. His only trump card is the ability to see the future. Now you may say well, that is cheating and op item. Well, he later, realizes that he is about to die in a month, and not just him, the whole planet itself. Through this book, he realizes, just how weak he is, as there is no item in the future, that could cure his talentless body. He will now have to use his wits to orchestra the largest galactic power houses of the universe. 'Spoiler alert' he does have a god like skill, Yep, it is undead presences, meaning, his presence, is as if he is dead. As you can imagine he has tricks, but can he use them well in a universe of talents? Well this character, is a master mind, that becomes crazy at the end. Only if he could have one more chance, to be the most powerful cannon fodder in existence would he truly reign in his own, creativity of humour, wits character, and a world filled with life, join him, to see what a master mind, trickster, sale man in a fantasy world, cult leader, alchemist, teacher, cheater, and the greatest con man, who is also one of the most wanted man in the universe. What he does to the world, shows the ways to use power beyond brute force, he is unpredictable that is his cheat code.
Nicolas_Ruiz · 826 Views

The Problemm

But the problem lay not so much in the problem itself but in the problems that he felt about his depression. It wasn’t just that he was depressed, it was that he was therefore depressing, towards himself and all those around him. Sucking the life out of every happy moment, projecting an arcing aurora of negative energy in a kind of reverse feng-shui as he sulked and skulked about in the corners of rooms His friends tried to include him as best they could, but this only made him feel more depressed, because they were the ones making the effort to drag this morbid, succourless husk out of his own little world, when it was him who should be making the effort. Why should they have to put up with him, me, he thought, and though they would eventually give up the ghost, leaving him content that they no longer felt him burdening them, he would arrive home to contemplate with disdain the way in which he felt left out, out of touch, disconnected, misunderstood. Humour used to be a good defensive mechanism, but as soon as he had become aware it of being a defense mechanism he no longer felt comfortable using it. Better to face up to the facts than employ a deflective irony. But with nothing with which to deflect, and a now acute awareness that an honesty about troubles would only be a burden upon the clearly happy and content people around him, he could only remain gravely silent, a furrowed brow christening his chastened pout. And so he would remain, until.
DaoistE3MbDJ · 932 Views

The Miss Is An Ice Cold Beauty!

[currently rewriting] Being the daughter of a powerful yakuza boss isn't easy. Living her days in constant chaos and having death follow her wherever she goes, isn't fun either. "Damn! Can't a girl get some peace!" Having to put up with all this and still remain nonchalant, Yang Xia has developed a bad case of resting b**ch face! Because of this, she's perceived as cold and distant! "I'm just trying to order some cake, why are you cowering in fear? Huh? My face? Damn it!" If her life couldn't get any worse, Yang Xia accidentally gets killed! "Sh*t! What did I do to deserve this?! Wait where am I? Did I just transmigrate?!" Its okay, Yang Xia! Just become powerful and nothing bad will happen to you ever again! "Easier said then done!" Yang Xia sets off on her new Journey in the world of Ancient China! With her power of breaking the fourth wall and her non stop complaining! How long will you last, Yang Xia? Watch out Yang Xia! The two dragon emperors have set their eyes on you! Wang Lei & Wang Jian: "look at her for a mere second, and we'll destory your eyes!" "Wait what! Don't do that!!" A novel with a strong, unique lead. Plus a sprinkle of humour and characters with deep history and depth to them! "all the other main novel characters scam one another, But why do I feel like I'M the one being scammed in mine?!" [original novel!] [warning!!! Swearing and slight gore] - updates whenever I'm free - {word count per chapter 900 - 1700} [cover art is not mine]
CrypticVix · 474.6K Views

The Great Vampire General is a Girl!

"He wanted her to be stronger, he believed in her strength. Valerie thought he only sees her as his fellow knight comrade. Until they finally taste each other's blood and their world will never be the same again," *** Valerie Dubois, joins the soldiers to fight on the front lines. She replaced her weak brother who was the heir of her family. She disguised herself as a men for five years and never seriously became a knight. Her troops was defeated, due to an incompetent general and treason. She was slandered and became the cause of their defeat. She became a prisoner of war and was tortured. She died in a state of revenge and regret. She wanted to live as a woman. She wanted to feel Love. She prayed that she would be given a chance to live again as a woman. She opened her eyes and she was returned to the four years ago. But this time she promised not to make a mistake. She will fight to become a General and win the war. After that, she may retire and live as a noble Lady again. But can she easily obtain her happy ending? *** Excerpt: "Sir Raphael, I need your blood," He's a vampire, just like me. I'm not too thirsty for his blood. But I need it. He smiled, looked at me then unbuttoned his clothes. He showed the veins on his neck and some of his charming masculine curves. "Go ahead," he said. I touched his body and brought my face closer. My fangs grew and I plunged them into his neck. I gulped down his sweet blood. I won't drink too much. He's not my prey. I could see his calm expression. He clearly enjoys what I do. "This is unfair," he said. "why?" Raphael then took my hand and dropped me on my back. "Let me taste your blood too, Valerie. Will you enjoy it as much as I do?" he said. Umm, I was not ready for this. He was already strong. Why did he want to drink my blood too?? *** Author's Note: This story contains Gore, sadistic scenes, brutality and uncensored action scenes. The MC is Vampire, of course she drinks blood. I like writing explicit scenes. I already warned you. No explicit smut scene. A little bit of humour. Well, I am not confident enough to be able to make you laugh. I just want to tell you, this is a serious but not too serious story'. It's a slow burn romance. The relationship between the MC and the male lead at first will be more like brother, or like a senpai and his junior. But you will enjoy their sweet relationship growth. In the beginning chapter I write in the first POV, but later also write in the third POV. Last, Please encourage me to keep writing by adding this story into your collection! I OWN THE COVER. IT IS COMMISIONED
anna_kanina · 217K Views

New Life : A Second Chance

This is a rebirth story of a normal girl, Kylie. She was a normal girl, living a normal life. Married and had kids. Nothing outstanding about her, but nothing terrible either. Then she was attacked and left to die. Her soul screamed in pain at having to leave behind two small children that needed her, yet she couldn't do anything. As she entered eternal darkness ... it took her some time to realise that she was not dead. She was alive, only yet to be born. And she was a boy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The AWESOME Cover Design is by Chryiss She's also an Author here in Webnovel so check out her stories: [RE: Life as a Tree] and [My World To Live] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Summary: - MC is OP - Sincere Brotherhood - True sibling bonding (no incest) - Humour (I try) - Action - Slow Romance - Revenge/Face slapping - Sensitive issues (LGBT, r*pe - but not that the MC is a r*pist) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FAQ: Q: Will MC end up with a girl, or a boy? A: That would be a spoiler; but if you REALLY have to know, it's answered Auxillary Chapter, the FAQ (Spoilers). Discord: : https://discord.gg/ZWnDEcG ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi. Thanks for dropping by. Please bear in mind that I am a new author, and English is not my first language. I am writing because I find it enjoyable, and am only now finding the courage to actually pen it out for others to read. This is a reincarnation story of a girl who had lived one life, and will experience another. Follow her along her journey of discovery: of herself, as she walks an entirely new path. Yet, at the same time, she seeks to find closure from her old life. World background: Current Earth, with names of countries being just Country J, Country SA etc. First, the MC is the typical OP character. Second, it's a slice of life story mixed with OPness of MC. If you don't like Gary Sue / OP characters, with a slow story pace, then this is not for you. There are elements of adventure/action, romance, some comedy and a little bit of mystery. It is also a story about friendship and the bonds we make as we grow up. The rating is due to certain scenes and sensitive issues from Volume 3 onwards. Please review. Your feedback is appreciated. If you want to show support for this poor Author: https://ko-fi.com/psyberrose ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Other Books: 1. Courage to Love (ongoing)
PsyberRose · 5.4M Views

Professor Xi is A Woman?

Li Jūn Yí: "You're mine" Xi Ying Yue: "Whahh..." Li Jūn Yí: "So it's decided" ___ "Do you have a girlfriend?" "No, but I don't mind a boyfriend" He looked at her seductively and then winked at her, mischief were obviously dancing within his eyes. ---------If you think being a woman is difficult, imagine being a woman but dressing up as a man. On her first day of rebirth she ran away from her wedding but ran into a rogue. On her second day of her rebirth, on her way to university, she ran onto another shameless man. Little did she know... The rogue and shameless man were... _ When Alina started teaching in Metropolitan City University, she ran into a messed up egoistic maniac, who has nothing better to do then annoy her. Why does a medical student have so much time? She wanted to report to authorities. Because of this man she was labelled gay. How infuriating! For fish sake! Yes she liked men but that because she was a woman and what's wrong with being gay. She was gaylicious happy for your information. However, even if she was gay, she would never end up with this shameless rogue. Yet the man jumped into her, holding her waist tightly, bringing her body closer to his. He, whisper seductively the sweet words of nothingness “Baby, I am not sexually attracted to men but if it’s you I don’t mind. ---------------------------- This work is a work of fiction, names, characters, business, places, events and incidents are either the product of authors imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to an actual person, living, the dead or actual place is purely coincident. All rights reserved by SnowDrop_ NO RAPE OR MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING JUST BAD COMEDY, AND SENSE OF HUMOUR. __________________________ Officially started: 09/05/19 ∆ I haven't dropped it. I just have short attention span. So gonna take awhile to catch up. Real life matters ____________________________________________ THIS IS AN ORIGINAL NOT A TRANSLATION. ___________________________________________ If you wanna chat or have any questions you can either email me or DM on discord or insta. Email: nadiin459@gmail.com Instagram: zer797 Discord: Alien7612 No sever as of now. since am dead half of the time myself.
SnowDrop_ · 381.3K Views

Arrow Inferno

Stanley ‘STAN’ Norris vs. Ian ‘WILL’ Williams He liked him; it was as simple as that! Lt. Ian Williams is a young, carefree Navy Seal whose main passion in life is his job. On an official trip to Africa, he is completely blindsided by his attraction to a ridiculously hot, fun-loving, blunt, and uninhibited man. An attraction that spirals into an all-consuming sexual storm that shocks him to the core. And after a scorching night of sex, Will realizes that he can't resist this man’s animalistic charm. What he doesn’t envisage is the dangerous world of preternatural pizzazz mixed with tumultuous passion that he finds himself in. Surely Luna had better things to do than to play such a cruel joke on him… Stanley Norris is a sexy-as-hell, rich, untameable, and unpredictable werewolf who is very content with his life. At least until a certain cheeky Navy Seal ambles into the jungle where he is busy training military recruits and flips his life on its side. The roguish hunk of a soldier is definitely not his…type. But from the deep, soul scorching hunger that ignites within him the very instant he smells him, Stan instantly knows what the young man is to him. And it isn’t long before he knows he has met his match. The worlds of these two men collide in an explosion of fireworks so strong neither man can deny. Can Stan surrender to the uncharted territory he finds himself in and convince Will he belongs with him? And can Will handle the complicated emotions and the big secret that lurks within Stan’s ocean-blue eyes? Can both men let down their defences and allow their hearts to experience the firestorm of sensuality and desire that only burns brighter and hotter with each passing day? Buckle up for a blend of romance so sensual it will make the devil blush, steamy smut hot enough to rival the sun, and oodles of wicked sense of humour!
Adjoaq · 110.9K Views

Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting indus

Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book. It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum. Why do we use it? It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using 'Content here, content here', making it look like readable English. Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for 'lorem ipsum' will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like). Where does it come from? Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old. Richard McClintock, a Latin professor at Hampden-Sydney College in Virginia, looked up one of the more obscure Latin words, consectetur, from a Lorem Ipsum passage, and going through the cites of the word in classical literature, discovered the undoubtable source. Lorem Ipsum comes from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of "de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum" (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC. This book is a treatise on the theory of ethics, very popular during the Renaissance. The first line of Lorem Ipsum, "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..", comes from a line in section 1.10.32. The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from "de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum" by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.
Ayu_Salsabilla_5068 · 2.5K Views
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