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Puns Skeleton

ISTRI MUDA SANG CEO

Malam itu Bahar sang CEO Yaman gelisah sange karena sudah seminggu Istri nya Sarifah Umroh ke tarim dengan hasil usaha kuburan palsu Wali Habib yang menghasilkan pundi-pundi rupiah lewat atm kotak amal. Bahar pun tak kuat menahan sange yang membuat kanjut nya cilegeng akibat meminum ramuan ngaceng habib taufik al yamani. Diam-diam dalam keheningan malam bahar mengocok kanjut nya dengan tangannya sendiri,"seresek-seresek" terdengar suara kocokan kanjut yang di olesi minyak hand body lotion. Semakin lama mengocok,bahar malah merasakan panas dibagian kanjut alias K0nt#l nya dan tangannya mun malah terasa pegal. "Bukannya buceng alias buc4t tapi malah menderita" gerutu bahar dalam hati. "Haduh ana mesti gimana nih ? " pikir bahar. "Oh iya di kamar bawah kan ada si Inem pembantu ana nih" pikir omes bahar. Akhirnya Bahar pun mengendap-endap ke kamar pembantu nya yaitu Inem, dengan perlahan namun tidak pasti karena bisa saja Inem tidak membukakan pintu kamar nya. Tibaa-tibaaaaa terdengar suara.....DUUUUUUT PELEPES SIIIIIIIIT. Bahar pun terkaget setengah hidup, karena dibalik kamar Inem terdengar sesuatu yang mengentutkan..."Waduh suara apa tuh ya di kamar si Inem" pikir bahar. Hemmmm apa mungkin kah suara gas yang keluar dari lubang silit Inem? "Walahualam bishawab dah". kata si Bahar. Bahar pun mulai membuka pintu kamar Inem,"Pintu kamar dulu yee, bukan cangcut loooh". Kata Bahar dalam hati sambil menahan tawa. Oh my god....kata bahar pintu nya di Kunci. Haduuuuuh....bahar pun kecewa berat di tengah kanjut nya yang melegeng membuanya pegel dan linu-linu tipis akibat gesekan dengan sarung tanpa kolor nya. Akhirnya bahar memutuskan untuk mengintip inem dulu dari atas jendela pintu kan ada kaca nya tuh di atas pintu kamar Inem. Baharpun menggeser kursi tinggi yang bulet untuk naik dan mengintip si Inem. Dengan hati-hati dan perlahan, bahar pun naik ke kursi guna mengintip Inem, dengan wajah sange dan lidah yang melet-melet, serta kanjut yang menyundul-nyundul sarung. Bahar pun mulai melancarkan aksi nya yaitu mengintip si Inem. penasaran? lanjut baca bab 1 aja yaa....
Eka_Wahyudin_4250 · 223 Views

Project: Demonic Skeleton Lord

❗[Current Writing Contest-WebNovel Spirity Awards 2025 Fantas]❗ Flain grew up in a futuristic world. When he was born his parents didn't want him because he didn't live up to their expectations and so he ended up very badly. Flain was employed as a slave. He was forced to mine radioactive iron deep in the mines. It was drilled into his head that he existed only to obey orders. Young Flain was obedient. He doubted some of it but knew nothing else. For years, he never saw a single ray of light; light was only spoken of among the others as a legend. The routine was the same: in the morning, he would take a nutrient tablet and water. Then he would mine all day, sleep eight hours, and repeat. Flain worked like this from childhood until he was ten years old. He even found a friend, but that friend died of radiation poisoning right in front of Flain. Flain couldn't stop mining. He kept mining with tears streaming down his face. Before bed, Flain cried. "I will become the strongest. I will kill you all, and you will become my slaves." Flain stopped crying, stared blankly at the rocky ceiling, then looked ahead. A manic grin appeared on his face, one that would often adorn it from that moment on. At the age of ten, Flain was assigned to a military camp due to his endurance in the mines and his survival against radiation. In the camp, Flain was trained. The regime was much looser; he even had an hour of free time each day. However, Flain didn't make any more friends. Even during his free time, he trained with a smile. He would achieve his goal at any cost, even if it meant training himself to death. Experiments were conducted on Flain. He lost his hair, two long gray arms grew on his back, and a third red eye appeared. Flain became a mutant. Flain was then sent to war. He fought with sharp katabas. He performed quite well in the war, earning himself command of ten soldiers and becoming a small commander. But one day, everything changed.
Morfus · 471 Views

Zombie Cultivator: How to Evolve from Undead to Overpowered

Li Tian always thought life was a bit too boring. After dying in a freak accident, he’s reincarnated in a world that’s—well, still pretty boring. Until boom, a meteor strikes, and suddenly, it’s zombies everywhere. Normally, that would be bad. But for Li Tian? Not so much. He becomes a zombie himself—but with a twist: he still has his brain. And with that, he discovers the Undead Evolution System—turns out, dying doesn’t mean you’re out of luck, especially if you like killing things and getting stronger! Fast-forward to a little while later: just when Li Tian thinks he’s got this whole zombie thing under control, a spaceship from another galaxy lands on Earth. Apparently, Earth is just some backwater planet in the grand scheme of things, and humans? Well, we’re somewhere near the bottom of the cosmic food chain. But hey, at least we get to join an intergalactic empire! And did someone say cultivation? Cue the cultivation lessons, space politics, and some truly questionable life choices. Li Tian’s goal? Evolve into a super-undead powerhouse. Too bad his snarky inner thoughts, love for random zombies, and the occasional romantic encounter might just make that a bit more complicated than expected. Join Li Tian on his accidental journey to becoming the universe’s most confused—and surprisingly powerful—undead cultivator. Will he rise to the top of the food chain, or will he be too busy cracking jokes and trying not to eat his own brain? Only time will tell... and maybe a few more zombies along the way. (Warning: May contain too many undead puns and a lot of sarcasm.) Cover art is not mine.
Lord_of_Infinity · 1.5K Views
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