Messed Up Jokes

Kazuo Tanaka, an ordinary high school student, meets a bizarre fate: after an accident involving laxatives, a yakuza, and a truck, he dies and meets a beautiful but mocking goddess. She gives him a weird power as a joke: he can level up by pooping. Reborn as a kid in a magical world, Kazuo now Andreas, is the only one with this power, tries to turn this embarrassing ability into his superpower.

The universe has always operated by a single, unwavering law: "Survival of the fittest." This fundamental rule governs everything, living or non-living. It was this very law that Alastor found himself entangled with. Awakening in a forest on planet Earth, in a forgotten corner of the universe, Alastor possessed no memories of his life before the age of four. Growing up, he quickly learned the brutal truth of this society: power was the currency of respect and longevity. Alastor clung to the hope of unraveling the mystery of his past. But his hopes were seemingly crushed when his bloodline ability manifested as [Speed]. It was an ability widely considered weak due to its inherent limitations, doing little to enhance his standing in this power-obsessed world. Just when his dream of uncovering his past began to flicker and fade, a glimmer of hope emerged. The pendant he wore, a constant presence he vaguely remembered from his earliest memories, suddenly flared to life. It was his only tangible connection to his past. And then, a bright blue screen materialized before his eyes. ----- [SYSTEM DETECTED. HOST COMPATIBILITY CONFIRMED.] [SYSTEM INITIATING BINDING SEQUENCE...]

There was a turtle here, He was a bandit! A robber! A shameless scoundrel! Don't mess with him!

Mu Yangling was reborn into a hunter's family, and she expected to live a simple and happy life. However, a disaster almost shattered their home. His father was conscripted into the army because of a war, and the whole family had to follow and settle in a farming village. Unfortunately, they couldn't even distinguish the seedlings of the five grains. As Mu Yangling looked at her mother and younger brother, who were on the verge of tears, she straightened, lifted her head, and said, "It's okay. I have strength." She also had some agricultural knowledge from a thousand years later!

In a world where ancient magic has been resurrected. Atlas, an orphan from Earth, finds himself transmigrated into the body of a child and possesses the rare Void Magic. Harboring such power, he’ll walk the path of becoming stronger and stand free in the sky above all existence! The tale of the Legendary Void Walker is about to begin! Super Gift = three extra chapters.

Content: [Matured] “Brother Abubakar.” Soliat’s hardened nipple brought a moan to her lips. “You’re too conscious, it’s driving me insane.” He brushed a thumb to her lips. “Let me ask you a question, what I did at the party, did you like it?” Her heart hitched and she did not know her nipple would harden more than it already had, except it did. “Answer me.” Slowly he trailed a hand from her face down to her neck, then her cleavage to in between her breasts, pushing the towel downward. “I—we—it was in a public place, I—I don’t know.” He eyes left his finger and the assault it was committing to look at her face. “Would you know if I did it again?” He did not wait for her to reply and dragged off her towel, kissing her to the bed. “Brother Abubakar,” she moaned. “It’s Abubakar now.” He broke the kiss to say. He peppered light kisses on her cheek and trailed it to the sweet spot on her neck. “I will touch you, Solia, but I won’t go all the way, is that okay with you?” He covered her breasts with his hand and her reply came in soft moans. “Ahh!” She whimpered when his finger pinched her nipple and a pleasure pain swept through her. “There’s a thin line between pain and pleasure, darling, and if you let me, I’ll show you.” Then he replaced his torturing hand with his mouth. “Abubakar.” She arched her chest so that his warm mouth would completely cover her aching bud. “That’s more like it, moan for me some more.” He gave her hardened bud a torturously slow lick while his hand manifested on the other peach. His hand travelled down her body, twirling on her skin and caressing her waist. “Do you like this, Solia?” “Yes, Brother—“ He bit her nipple. “Shall we try that again, do you like this, Solia?” “Yes, Abubakar.” Super hot, right? why not check out the book! It started with an idea and ended in the loving arms of a Muslim widow. Edegbe’s journey up north took a twisted turn and landed him in a dire situation where he had to choose between his friendship and love. In a frigid northern state, Edegbe finds that death is rife and normalcy is a luxury, but he is adamant and fights against all odds to achieve success. What he achieved instead is a dazzling relationship with a Muslim widow whose twin brother is madly in love with a woman whose interest, for a short while, laid with his friend. Edegbe let the drastic turn of event lead him, until he had to choose between his friend and the woman of his heart. Will Edegbe abandon his love, the woman who made the terrible things about the north bearable, or will he forfeit his friendship of many years? Please support with your gifts and votes.

[You Leveled Up!] [You have learned a new rune.] Arthur Silvera's world just glitched. His mysterious new 'Legacy' is transforming him – a nobody – into the ultimate stat-absorbing, rune-crafting powerhouse. But is this power a gift... or an unmanageable curse? In a world of magic-infused tech, Arthur must master his abilities to survive. Monstrous dungeons, mech-powered guilds, and realms beyond imagining await… but with a Legacy this broken, the whole system might just come crashing down around him. *** Discord Server: https://discord.gg/GFD6p9sByS

The world is full of mages. The ones who fight for glory, the ones who stand tall, the ones who are feared. They defeat enemies. They win battles. They take everything they want. They are the ones everyone admires. But I? I’m not one of them. I can see the future. The problem? It’s all pointless. I know the outcome of everything. Every fight. Every struggle. Every victory… and every loss. The future is already written. And in the end, it’s all meaningless. I didn’t want to be a hero. I didn’t ask for this power. I just want to live in peace, but how can I when I know the inevitable? The academy, the friends, the enemies… it doesn’t matter. In the end, everything will fade. And then there's Kai. He doesn’t know it, but he’s the one variable I can’t see. He’s not supposed to be here. He doesn’t belong in this story. Yet somehow, he’s part of it. A piece I can’t predict. He’s the one thing that doesn’t follow the script, the one I can’t control. What does that mean? If I can’t see him, then is there hope, or is it a even darker horror? I can see everything… but him. And that scares me more than any future I’ve already seen.

Book One: After Lilith's mysterious disappearance, Ivy must follow her mother's last instructions, leading her to a bizarre land with new and foreign people. Unbeknownst to her, the people of that land are aware of her eventual arrival. However, they are also wary as they've received a prophecy that Ivy could be the savior of their colony or the one who destroys it. Book Two: Still, Zoe is left feeling distracted and distant several months later. Hope is not lost as she receives surprising news that she may(if she plays her cards right) be able to see Ivy again. Book Three: ---------------------------- Next Up is that one dream we all had when we were kids. When we would leave home in search of adventure and all sorts of creatures in our imaginations ran wild in this world. ----------------------------- I will update this story every Monday and now Saturday with a new chapter. "I will be posting this story on RoyalRoad.com" as well as ScribbleHub

Evil、 sadistic love、CEO、 reunion after parting ways

They took everything from me, my family my food, my money but they make a mistake and that was they let me live, but they don't know a ghost will be behind them for taking his revenge

He looked into my eyes, his hand around my waist pulling me closer. "I need you to keep this a secret." He whispered his lips so close to mine, almost touching as he spoke to me. "I will," He punctuated my statement with a sweet kiss to the lips which came as surprise so much so that I pulled back from him. "On one condition though, we get to do this date thing again." I whispered back looking into his eyes wanting to see deeper than he was letting me. "Date is a strong word." He whispered back with a small laugh rumbling at the back of his throat. His words stung but I did not let it show instead I smiled at him bring my fingers up to touch his beard to distract myself from the sting. "What's the right word," I asked planting a small kiss on his lips. "A meet up." *** She knew she was the least to him yet she let herself get sucked into his life. A married man, happy with his family and beautiful kids and yet she could not stop herself from falling in love with him. To her, he was a sweet distraction from her routine boring life, some adventure, some love, something new to love on yet she knew it wasn't all mutual. The deal was too good and she drank of it, like the sweet poison it was.

"Your meridians can’t be cultivated? No problem! With the Crazy Leveling System, you can complete missions, slay monsters, absorb others' spiritual power, craft pills, forge weapons, and participate in grand battles to gain experience! Not enough EXP? Don’t worry! I have double EXP cards, ten-times EXP cards—EXP boosts and levels rise in an instant! What genius, young master of a powerful family, emperor of an empire, or prodigy can compare? When faced with the Crazy Leveling System, they’re left in the dust! ‘Huh, did I level up again?’ Yi Tianyun woke up to find that he had leveled up once more…" ********************************************************************** Hello guys, i am not the author of this novel as i’m just simply translating one of my favourite novels. I think this novel hasn’t been done justice due to very bad translation so I’m here to fix that. If u have any problem with the translation or anything else just let me know in the comments. Thank you and enjoy. Also some power stones will surely be appreciated:)

Don't Mess with the Boss In a vibrant, fast-paced city brimming with skyscrapers, neon lights, and secrets, Sarah thought she had her life under control. A carefree, no-nonsense woman from Earth, she lived by her own rules—until the mysterious "System" showed up and turned everything upside down. Wiping her memories and rewriting her past, the System threw Sarah into a mission she never asked for: prevent villains from rising by interfering in their lives before it’s too late. Now, Sarah’s a "boss" with an unconventional job—adopting and mentoring people who teeter on the edge of heroism or villainy. First on her chaotic to-do list? A pair of polar opposites: Leon, a headstrong boy destined to be a hero, and Eren, a brooding genius whose path to villainy seems inevitable. Juggling her day job, parental duties, and cryptic tasks from the System, Sarah is forced to navigate a modern world of high-stakes drama, complex emotions, and moral gray areas. But as Sarah dives deeper, cracks in the System’s story begin to show. What is the System really after? Why does it seem so intent on keeping Sarah in the dark? And most importantly, is she just a pawn in a larger game? With her sharp tongue, fierce independence, and a knack for turning chaos into opportunity, Sarah’s determined to take charge—of her tasks, her newfound "family," and even the System itself. Because one thing is clear: no one messes with the boss. Don't Mess with the Boss is a modern, action-packed story full of humor, heart, and a fresh take on the battle between good and evil. It's about finding redemption, challenging fate, and learning that even villains deserve a second chance.

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

Gabriel found himself born anew in a world where one's worth is judged by their talents, a place where the powerful cling tightly to their supremacy. After his astonishing arrival, Daniel quickly realized that the key to his survival in this cutthroat environment lay in the strengthening of his own abilities, especially with an ever-present threat looming over him. Fortunately, he doesn't face this daunting task unaided; his inherited talent, [Level Up], along with his newly awakened [Magic Seed], provide him with a glimmer of hope in this relentless pursuit of power. Determined to unearth the shadowy figure orchestrating attempts on his life, Daniel embarks upon a quest that delves into the mysteries surrounding his lineage. The enigmatic necklace, crafted with his parents’ talents, rests heavily against his chest – a constant reminder of unsolved riddles. Was it a mere heirloom, or did it serve a greater purpose? Did his parents foresee the trials that would befall their son? Daniel is driven to uncover the truths that lurk within his past, and perhaps, reveal the destiny that has been set before him.

There is a guilding voice that has been leading and directing Onyedikachi Ibinike into trials and tribulations to forge him into the hero that Wazobia needs . Will he accept it or throw it away. the choice is his.

A generic Fanfiction story with a multiverse travel into other anime works! -(N.B: I don't own any characters in this fanfic besides my OC) -Note: the cover is not mine, found it on google.

DROPPED!!! _ Having been Transmigrated, Lean finds himself in a world he once knew as mere fiction. Now, as an unwilling character in this brutal reality, he's thrust into a kingdom rife with magic, ruthless ambitions, and hidden threats. Armed with a system—a mysterious, power offering cryptic guidance—Lean has to navigate this deadly landscape and build the strength to survive. Each step forward reveals deeper layers of danger and intrigue, testing his resolve and forcing him to strive to get stronger. Will he accumulate such power, or will he be another casualty of this unforgiving realm?

In love with her boss while he’s engaged to someone else? How chaotic could it get? Isabel’s life changed drastically on her first night in Los Angeles. It was love at first sight for her when she met and made out with Kine at a party, who later became her boss. The handsome and rich C.E.O was too easy to like, kind and flirty but still stood on business when it comes to work. He was Isabel’s type of man which left her completely helpless and at the same time hopeful. She could not say for sure how he felt about her after what happened at the party because he gives her mixed signals. But one thing she’s sure about is that he has a soft spot for her. However, Isabel’s heart sank when she discovered that he was engaged to the daughter of a very wealthy business man. Getting to know more about Kine she realized how uninvested he was in the engagement, thereby raising her hopes up. She became so over protective of her boss after finding out that his so called fiancée was having an affair with some guy other than Kine. Would she be able to win the heart of her Prince Charming? And to what extent is she willing to go? Find out as you proceed with me in this jaw dropping love story.

Fang Mu is a normal 20yrs old boy, he didn't brag, but accidentally he was bonded with ( Bragging come true system. ) As long as someone brag infront of him, this system will convert that to true. Xu Zhen a second-gen rich young man to Fang Mu: My father just gifted me Lamborghini, I need a full time driver, so you might consider it. System: it's detected that Xu Zhen was bragging, so system given to host a Lamborghini worth 150 million. Su Yangjun as class beauty: The new boyfriend I made, was has special ability, he good at bed. System: It's detected that, Su Yangjun was bragging. So system given the host a strong golden sword. After he gained all, and he become rich, then he said angrily " Shut up, stop bragging guys. " after he heard bragging infront of him. Shut up, stop bragging is a novel covered in Romance, Action, Advantage, Harem Genres. Written by the Author Mythical Creatures

"Miles," I said again, my voice a bit shaky now. "Why did you bring me here?" He turned to face me, his expression suddenly serious. He stepped closer, and I felt my back press against the cold wall behind me. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin. "I like you," he whispered. My mind went blank. For a few seconds, I just stood there, staring at him, not sure if I had heard him right. Then, out of nowhere, I burst out laughing. It wasn’t that I didn’t take him seriously; I just didn’t know how else to react. Miles was not the type of person to confess his feelings like that. This had to be a joke, right? "Miles, you—" I started, but before I could finish, he grabbed me by the collar and kissed me. It wasn’t a soft, gentle kiss. It was rough, almost desperate. I froze, my mind reeling. This couldn’t be happening. But it was. His lips were on mine, his body pressed against me. For a moment, I was too shocked to do anything, but then I shoved him away with all the strength I had left, my heart racing in my chest. "What the hell, Miles?" I shouted, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and confusion. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression calm, too calm. "I’m sorry," he said quietly. "It was just a joke." "The plot revolves around Miles and leo, two high school boys who were once friends but are now just strangers. But what happens when, one day, Miles kisses leo and tells him that he likes him? But it's just a joke....? What the heck! Leo didn't like this joke at all.

making you smile is top priority, smile always.

Ethan Reid, a seasoned CIA deep-cover operative, finds himself betrayed and abandoned by his own agency during a critical mission in Russia. Captured and brutally tortured, he's left for dead in a secret prison. But just as his life hangs in the balance, a mysterious force awakens within him – the Agent System designed to assist in espionage operations. Empowered with enhanced abilities, cutting-edge technology, and a burning desire for revenge, Ethan escapes his captors and embarks on a perilous quest to uncover the truth behind his betrayal. He must navigate a treacherous world of espionage and counterintelligence, battling not only his enemies but also the ghosts of his past. With the Agent System as his guide, he must master his newfound abilities and confront a powerful enemy that threatens to plunge the world into chaos.

A story about a student who has a decently normal life, who, on one fatal day stumbled upon a piece of old armour, upon touching it, it consumed him, making him evil, and makes him destroy half of humans population, what will the young man do now? Find out!

All of a sudden, a meteor crashes from outer space! What's inside of it you ask? An alien shaped like a human, greedy for some good ol' cash! Who later gets recruited by the government to train sertain 'powerful' humans after the spiritual powers from the asteroid leeked out, turning people into superhumans!