Pedo Jokes

At the movie premiere, a curious reporter notices the marks on Xia Siyu’s neck. “What’s that?” Xia Siyu flicks her hair carelessly. “A mosquito bit me.” After returning home, Bo Yan pins her against the wall, his voice teasing yet dangerous. “A mosquito? Do I need to bite you again?” Xia Siyu gains weight easily and is always fat shamed with words like being “as fat as a pregnant woman”. One day, she is mocked so harshly that she appears on the top searches. While everyone thinks of it as another joke, the movie star, Bo Yan, replies unexpectedly, “Thank you for your well wishes! Our baby is already three months old.”

I once believed I was the heroine of a modern fairytale, blessed with beauty, wealth, intelligence, and a powerful legacy. Men adored me, women envied me, and I was engaged to the most desirable man, Cole Fay. My life seemed perfect, a dream where I held the starring role. But on my eighteenth birthday, that illusion crumbled. The truth hit me hard: I wasn't the protagonist, nor even the villain or a side character. I was just cannon fodder, a disposable part of someone else's story. But when fate recognized the cruel joke of my life, I was granted a second chance. This time, I'll write my own story, living for myself. And this time . . . I will never love you again.

Synopsis In his first life, Akira Tanaka was an average Earthling with a not-so-average hobby: making terrible jokes and getting into trouble with his wandering eyes. His second life? Well, he became the most feared evil dragon god—a being of immeasurable power who could destroy entire realms with a flick of his claw. His reign of chaos was unmatched, his strength unparalleled, his sense of humor still awful. But even gods meet their end, and Akira did so in a blaze of glory after being defeated by a bunch of overachieving heroes. Just when he thought his story was over, he found himself reincarnated again—this time in a modern world where magic flows as freely as Wi-Fi signals. Now he’s back in high school, hiding his immense power behind the façade of a perverted clown. No one suspects that the guy cracking bad jokes and sneaking peeks into the girls’ locker room is secretly powerful enough to destroy the planet. But when dark forces begin to rise, Akira’s double life as the ultimate goofball and secret powerhouse becomes harder to maintain. Get ready for comedy, chaos, and questionable life choices as the Perverted Jester of Chaos juggles high school hijinks, romance, and epic battles! P.S. He can break trough forth wall. "Heyyy!!!! Don't Spoil them!"

Quote of the main character "With Binding system as my trump card, I will become the strongest man in the world and sit on my throne with beautiful women in my arms." What would you do if you died and God transmigrated you to another world? What would you do if Gods and Goddess watches and comments on your adventures? What would you do if you could communicate with Gods and Goddesses? Xiao Ming, the grandson of the Ruler, fell off a cliff when he was training martial arts with his father. When he thought he was dead, he found himself transported to a parallel world where monsters and powerful people ruled the world. Luckily, one of the goddesses gave him a system to help him survive in his new world and achieve his dream. "You awaken the mage class? You awaken the Archer class? You awaken the Knight class?" Xiao Ming behaved normally. "I only need to bind my system to someone and I can awaken that person's class. In other words, I can awaken all three classes." Xiao Ming, the grandson of the Ruler, decides to continue his dream in his new life. Follow him as he embarks on his journey to become the Ruler and bind his system to beautiful women. Warning..... In the early chapters there were lots of jokes about boy toy and sugar mama. I know some of you feel uncomfortable about that. I'm trying to change them, but I can't do it quickly because some of them are related to the story. However, please keep reading. The jokes stopped after they officially became lovers. I don't do that joke anymore. If you keep reading, you might like this book. *** discord server= https://discord.gg/22hqV9gPn3 *Tags=Slice of life, action, MILF, romance, fantasy, adventure, beautiful female leads, handsome male lead, older love interests, harem, multiple identities, secret identity, Elf, R-18, transmigration, magic, knight, archer, demon, Gods, leveling up. *Xiao Ming is the grandson of Xiao Tian, my main novel. * My main novel is Illicit relationship PS: I don't own the cover. I got it from pinterest.

Li Susu dies unfairly and wishes for a second chance, but fate still jokes on her. "Seriously?! Is this the second chance that I am asking for?!" She was born in a world where political struggle was the deadliest. Worst of all, she was born as the ruthless and tyrant Empress Wu Jinmai! She has no one in the world who is scary and full of political schemes. Will she be able to change her faith and live a long and happy life? What kind of sacrifices does she need to make to change her fate? "I hate you; I detest you. You're my greatest nightmare, and marrying you is like a poison that slowly kills me!" Shanguan Zu Jin suppressed his feelings for the people. He had longed for her. He wants to love and spoil her, but fate has changed her. Will his love be rekindled as the tyrant empress suddenly changes? Is there a second chance for his unrequited love, or…? Find out the answers as the story of the tyrant empress and her emperor consort begins. PS: This is purely a work of fiction. Organization, events, situations, and names are purely created by the author's imagination. Thank you.

Fu Xiang's body jolted in anger."I will kill you". He spat. "I will make sure you and your family rot in hell, it's the only place fit for the likes of you". Zhao An Na laughed, lips curved in a taunting smirk to him Fu Xiang's words sounded like a joke and it might have well been one, if you were threatened by someone chained like an animal and as skinny as a skeleton, you too would think it was a joke. "Pray tell me how would you, you would be dead in a couple of days," Zhao An Na said. "Or maybe weeks if you are lucky". He added after some thinking. "Even if I have to crawl out from the out of hell, I promise you that I will make your life a nightmare," Fu Xiang said. "I would love to see you try" Zhao An Na smirked. " ****** Fu Xiang, a rising beta actor, seemed to have it all – a loving boyfriend, a loyal friend, a supportive family, and fame. However, his life took a dark turn when he uncovered a buried secret from his past. Betrayed by his closest confidants, he endured torment before his passing. Reborn as Feng Mei Hui, an omega heir to a multi-billion-dollar company, Fu Xiang seeks closure and faces the challenge of confronting those who wronged him. His only potential ally is Han Yichen, his supposed fiancé. Will Fu Xiang find it in his heart to trust again and open up to Han Yichen, or will the darkness of vengeance consume him entirely?

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Warrior, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Oh, before I forget, soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

In a world where Lycans and werewolves are sworn enemies, Eve Valmont is a werewolf cursed by a prophecy and framed. Betrayed by her own pack and imprisoned for years, her fate takes a darker twist when she is offered to the Lycan King, Hades Stavros—a ruler feared for his ruthless conquests and deadly prowess. Bound by an ancient prophecy and haunted by the ghosts of her past, Eve is now at the mercy of the one being she should hate and fear the most—The Hand of Death himself. Hades, a king carved from blood and his own soul's decay, determined to avenge his family's slaughter and rid his people of the werewolves. He believes Eve is the key to his victory. To him, she is nothing but weapon foretold by prophecy, a tool he will wield to destroy the opposing forces threatening his pack. Yet, he finds himself craving this powerful yet broken woman. Leaving him questioning if she is truly his weapon or the one destined to unravel his carefully laid plans. *** He stalked toward me, a predator closing in on its prey, his eyes dark and unreadable. "So, you laugh?" His voice was low, dangerously soft, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how difficult it had become to breathe. "Hades, I—" "But you only laugh at other men's jokes," he interrupted, his gaze piercing, devoid of any humor. "Not your husband's." The accusation in his tone was sharp, slicing through the air between us. A nervous chuckle escaped me. "You can't be serious... He’s your beta, for Goddess’ sake." In an instant, he closed the distance between us, so fast it left me breathless. His hands gripped my waist, pulling me flush against his body, the heat of him making my skin tingle. I gasped, but before I could say a word, his lips crashed onto mine, claiming my mouth with a force that sent shockwaves through me. The kiss was punishing, hungry—I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. When he finally pulled back, I was trembling, my chest heaving as I struggled to regain my breath. His eyes, dark and stormy, searched mine with a possessive intensity. "You can’t laugh at my jokes..." he whispered, his voice a dangerous rasp as his fingers trailed lower, sending a shiver down my spine, "but you’ll come with my fingers." I shivered, heat pooling low in my belly at his words, his touch. The world around us blurred, fading into nothing as his hand slipped lower, drawing a ragged gasp from my lips. The look in his eyes told me he knew exactly what he was doing to me, and there was no denying the primal connection between us in that moment. "I don’t need your laughter," he murmured against my skin, his breath hot on my neck. "I’ll have every other part of you instead." **** Dark fantasy romance Morally Grey ML Angst Suspense ENEMIES to lovers Smut (like sprinkles on your ice cream)

Mr. Fu of Harbor City positions himself with one foot in Harbor City and the other in Macau City, capable of manipulating situations with just his hands. Harbor City's gossip tabloids exposed that Mr. Fu has a secret wife. Known for his romantic involvements, Mr. Fu has liaisons with beauty pageant winners, models, and socialites. The entire Harbor City jokes about how his wife would be kicked out of the Fu family by any means necessary. In the first year, an unprecedented snowfall in June took over Harbor City, dubbed by the press as a grand gesture from the boss to make his wife smile. The second year, the press captured Mr. Fu arguing with his wife in the streets looking upset. People speculated their relationship was nearing its end. However, the next day, he was seen clinging to his wife's legs, crying, fussing, and showing affection. The third year, rumors were rampant that Mr. Fu and his wife had been living separately for six months, and a divorce was imminent. Soon after, a major announcement from the Fu family shocked the city. Mr. Fu was delighted by the birth of a precious son. While everyone congratulated him, Mr. Fu's expression was gloomy: not having embraced one for three years, he realized he was duped!

Guys here is my pitch..... In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the "cheat system" doesn’t quite… cheat? Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird. To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos. Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential. John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool. But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded. Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline. Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure. Of course No-harem!

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can. 11/21/24 I only just noticed that the webnovel reader changes my formatting. I was using an extra space between paragraphs to denote a scene change. Please leave a comment if you find any confusing parts. 11/30/24 I'm going on a trip I've been planning for a while in a couple days. I will try to keep writing and publishing while I'm away, but I expect a slower pace. 12/22/24 I've had some technical and creative difficulties writing for the past few days. But I assure you, as long as people keep reading this and I don't get too many bad reviews, I will keep writing this.

A kidnapping shattered Sophia Diaz's innocence; the wealthy heiress who once dreamed of becoming a pastry chef never imagined she would fall into the hands of a demon who would change her world forever. Capone, who grew up amidst life-and-death shootouts, considered love a luxury and a joke. She was a toy for his amusement and a tool for his revenge, yet she unleashed a storm of bloodshed throughout his Mafia empire. With a simple deal, she finally won her freedom, believing their paths would never cross again. But he reappeared like a ghost, crashing her wedding, tearing her dress to shreds and destroying everything. Separated by gratitude, resentment and deep-seated enmity, he watched her disappear into the vast sea with his own eyes...

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

Complete Title: "The Supreme Divine Hero of Total Destruction, Infinite Love, Unstoppable Justice and Countless Powers in a World of Limitless Magic, with Interdimensional Harem, Impossible Achievements and Destiny Breaking the Laws of Reality!!!" Searching for revenge after being humiliated by those around him... But, is this novel really about Haruto Tanaka? Are those whom he judges as scum, what he thinks? Made by CoolWriterLOL (FYI: This is a VERY serious novel, I am NOT doing it for the joke.)

In the world to come, making oneself at home in a virtual realm has woven itself into the fabric of the daily grind. Online games flourishing within this digital hinterland have caught on like wildfire. It's a rare soul who hasn't caught a whisper about the mighty and their terrestrial habits and hedonism. Yet now, as life in the virtual sphere - especially within these burgeoning games - gains momentum, new titans rise within this electronic escapade. One wonders, do their existences diverge from those ensconced in real-world influence? Watch the journey of our protagonist who, through a gauntlet of trials and time, has eased into a leisurely existence as one of the esteemed five lord atop a thriving metropolis, in a community of a billion players. Though obstacles and thorns of various kinds laid in his path, he overcame them all. *** The original is in Thai, and as the writer of the original, I attempted to translate it as closely as possible. I use AI to help with the initial translation and then revise it one more time, but I only managed to achieve about 80% of what I expected. Not to mention grammar, just trying to translate jokes, idioms, proverbs, etc. so that foreigners can understand is very difficult.

The scar you gave and still giving my name is Aileen Quinn, my dream is to travel abroad why? because I want to get my mom out of their claws. who are they? the richest people in this city. though their house is made up of gold we give fire to refine their gold. .............................. today I had the chance to travel abroad, wow I am on the plane, the excitement that brew my heart turned into regrets. the moment I got off the plane I was robbed and left wanting by the police. ... thank goodness there is my savior "you thought I was your savior? me!!! the police here don't like me. I visit them more often than I do my books for a high school student, and they love me for my presence. that place is like my second home" indeed he wasn't joking because of him my passport was ceased they don't trust him.......... now what will I do in this foreign land This cover does not belong to me

Synopsis of "Hujo World: The Cradle of Chaos and Creation" Lopkinnf, a young man of only 19 years old, becomes the president of the Jex Country, but his vision of the world goes far beyond his position. For him, Jex is the living representation of hell on earth - a place where chaos, corruption and impunity reign supreme. A country where criminals are treated as heroes, public hospitals are synonymous with death and justice is a joke buried in corruption and hypocrisy. Tired of the rot that dominates Jex, Lopkinnf decides to take the reins of a radical change. He does not seek approval, nor fear being labeled a tyrant or a villain. In his mind, absolute justice is the only way, even if it means defying everything and everyone. Determined to eradicate the scum of Jex and rebuild it from the ashes, he starts a revolution that will forever change the destiny of the Country - and perhaps of the Hujo World itself. In this dark journey between chaos and creation, Lopkinnf will face enemies seen and unseen, as he discovers how far he is willing to go to save a world that seems beyond saving.

"Update" The day I awakened was the worst day of my life. The skill is powerful on its own, yes but it has a disadvantage. A big one at that. If the owner of the skill does not have any resources, it's practically useless. In other words, I can only survive by being someone's slave or lick up dog. HAHAHAHA, a joke. I'd rather die than serve someone else. > > > > > Yes finally every transmigrators greatest wish. I, Leon Damon, came from another world. And it's my turn to rise. P.S. This is my first novel I absolutely have no experience writing, I hope you don't judge to harshly.

Alex has a motto. Why fight when you can run away? She’s scared of almost EVERYTHING - no joke. When she gets a VR game for her birthday, she tries it out and loves it, but everything is attacking her for some reason! Only when her brother challenges her to a dual does she admit to him that she’s been lost for over a month. At some point, she ran into a huge forest, and not just any forest, but THE SCARIEST FOREST in the game... or so her brother says. Watch as Alex grows and mature from scaredy-cat to a tough cat.

Do you know that feeling, when you're just fed up with everything, and want to run away and leave it all behind? Maybe even travel to another universe and explore other dimensions and realities. Wouldn't that be sick? There would be so many more options to achieve happiness or even find true love. OR you could committ every crime known to man, and get revenge on everyone that hurt you before, and their versions in other universes, because you feel like it. Let's see what Ethan decides, and if the 'no consequences' thing is really true. Because as we know, everything has a price... (trigger warning: really bad jokes, cuss words and choatic magicians!)

Kael Kaelward’s life was nothing but a curse, marked by disgrace and destined for an early death. In a world where potential defines power, he was nothing more than a joke—an heir with an S-level potential and a skill deemed worthless. But fate has a way of rewriting stories, and Kael isn’t ready to become just a footnote. Awakening in a body that’s not his own, Kael must navigate a treacherous path filled with political intrigue, unexpected alliances, and a world where power is everything. With a skill that defies the world's rules and a mind sharp enough to outwit any foe, he’s determined to defy the destiny set before him. But in a world where every move is calculated and every ally could turn into a betrayer, Kael must tread carefully. And when secrets buried deep in his soul start to resurface, he realizes that survival is only the beginning. Will Kael rise from the shadows of disgrace to claim his place in the world, or will he be consumed by the fate that has been waiting for him?

They called me The Whisperer. A joke. A mockery. The boy with the weakest magic just because I was a farmer. I was powerless when they came. I watched as my father and my mother was slaughtered. My village was reduced to ash, and the man in the black robe vanished, leaving nothing but blood and unanswered questions. All I had left was my infant sister and the faint spark of magic they all ridiculed. But even a whisper can grow into a storm. Now, I walk the path alone. My weak magic will become their weakness. I will make them hear the screams they left behind, feel the pain they inflicted, and drown in the vengeance they thought they escaped. They thought I was nothing. They were wrong. I will rise, and the last thing they’ll ever hear… is a whisper.

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Artie had lived her whole life feeling like a joke. Whether it came to her full name, her parents ‘abandoning’ her and her next door neighbours taking her in, or finding out that her lover was part of a cult and was cheating on her. Said lover then stabbed her. It felt like she just couldn’t catch a break. So when she found herself in a puddle of her own blood, staring up at a fake painted sky, she could only find humour in the situation, and prayed that the next life was kinder. Only she woke up. In the same body, with the same stab wound, only in a world full of magic, swords, and a dead King Arthur? Yup. The round table existed, the knights existed, and so did everyone of legend that she’d heard about as a child. Only it was the beginning of their tales. Nothing had happened yet, except the formation of Camelot, the crowning of the King, and then the sudden death of the King of Legend, King Arthur Pendragon. She would have thought this was another cruel joke if everyone wasn’t wandering around in mourning clothes. If this was a practical joke, it wasn’t a very funny one. Artie was tired. She’d already spent almost a decade working as a police officer, and then a detective, so she felt like she had earned her peace. Especially after all the shit she’d been put through, but someone had different plans. And Artie’s life wasn’t quite done yet. In fact, it seemed like in the eyes of the creatures of this world, this was where she was always meant to be. The time she spent getting her ass handed to her in the other dimension? Just a warm up. And now she was expected to just…go along with what everyone else wanted her to do? Including magical beings who were responsible for taking her from one dimension to another. Artie felt like she was in over her head, even if there were several concerned, attractive knights around her. She wasn’t sure if she was going to run away from all the new responsibilities, or embrace them. She wasn’t a rule breaker by nature, but maybe now was the time to change?

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HEIR AND HEIRESS OF TWO ENEMIES COMPANY GET MARRIED? ALBEIT BY A SICK JOKE OF FATE? ESPECIALLY ONES WITH AN HISTORY? All Theodosia wanted to do was get married for duty. Never did she think she`ll be getting married to her ex lover of ten years ago, who happens to be her greatest enemy!!! hell in handbasket

Warning!! Unstable Update And Novice Writer... English is not my main language... -------------------------------------------- A broken world... Or you could says that, this world is full of misery and only trying to survive while breaking the laws of universe ... This world is one of many ancient battlegrounds of gods and whatever powerful beings in the past. Many world has become ruins because of that battle. But some of the surviving world become an unique world because the after effect... And this world is one of them... As the time flow, the world become stable once again and civilization that lost, resurfaced... And they won't expect anything more than peace... But, Hahahaha... It's laughable... After an unknown passage of time, the will of world awaken... The blessing and the curse from the past also awaken because of that. The peace is nothing more than a joke... Because, the apocalypses will comes. Welcome, To Artharia.... -----------------------------------------------------------------------

On Vacation till January 1st 2025. Have a Merry Christmas everyone! Gates of the Apocalypse follows George David Carter, an overweight nerd who has always dreamed of escaping reality through video games, is now faced with the apocalypse. Portals open up all over the world and unleash monsters and beings from straight out of a dark fantasy book. This high-octane, pulse pounding book series is filled with incredible action sequences that will leave you on the edge of your seat. It also has a kick ass harem of human and non-human hotties that can rock it in the sheets and destroy on the streets! This book series includes: ~No NTR! ~There is some Yuri. ~Huge harem of human and non-human women. ~Massive base building from a mansion to an entire kingdom. ~Huge battles on a scale rivaling the greatest fantasy novels ever written. ~Terryifying monsters and tense situations that add a heavy amount of horror. ~Tongue in cheek humor, toilet humor, and a healthy amount of Dad jokes. I update twice a day. Once at noon and once at 7pm. Rewards: 1 Luxury Car = 1 Bonus chapter 1 Dragon = 2 Bonus chapters 1 Magic Castle = Mass Release of 10 chapters 1 Spacecraft = Mass Release of 20 chapters 1 Golden Gachapon = 10 chapters per day for 1 week ***Discord is open!*** https://discord.gg/cR2KY2R4sF

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

Betrayed by his closest allies and left to die in a cursed dungeon, Dorian Grinn discovers the truth about his unique skill: he cannot die. Each death strengthens his body, sharpens his mind, and erodes his sanity. Trapped in an endless cycle of brutal deaths, he emerges from the abyss not as the man he once was, but as something far more dangerous—a laughing, unpredictable force of nature. Fueled by hatred for the weak and an insatiable thirst for vengeance, Dorian sets out to destroy the comrades who betrayed him and the system that empowers them. With every step, he builds an empire from chaos, turning misfits and monsters into his loyal army. But the gods of this world don’t take kindly to rebellion, and Dorian isn’t just fighting for revenge—he’s fighting to break the world itself. Madness is his weapon. Immortality is his curse. And death? Just another joke.