Cross Eyed Jokes

A kidnapping shattered Sophia Diaz's innocence; the wealthy heiress who once dreamed of becoming a pastry chef never imagined she would fall into the hands of a demon who would change her world forever. Capone, who grew up amidst life-and-death shootouts, considered love a luxury and a joke. She was a toy for his amusement and a tool for his revenge, yet she unleashed a storm of bloodshed throughout his Mafia empire. With a simple deal, she finally won her freedom, believing their paths would never cross again. But he reappeared like a ghost, crashing her wedding, tearing her dress to shreds and destroying everything. Separated by gratitude, resentment and deep-seated enmity, he watched her disappear into the vast sea with his own eyes...

Welcome to a world where dragons soar through skies painted with magic, and devils lurk in the shadows cast by ancient portals. Five thousand years ago, a rift opened in the heavens, connecting our world to another—a realm teeming with gods, dragons, and a myriad of fantastical beings. Overnight, the balance of power shifted, and humanity found itself amidst an age of wonders and perils. In this new world, magic is not merely a legend but an everyday reality. It flows through the air, courses through the earth, and pulses within the very essence of life itself. With the advent of magic, humans evolved into heroes, demon lords, and monsters, carving their place in a society now governed by divine beings, dragons, and demi-humans. Three thousand years into this new era, a cataclysmic battle erupted between two mighty dragons—the Dark Dragon and the White Dragon. Their conflict ravaged continents and threatened to plunge the world into eternal darkness. Fearing mutual annihilation, humans, gods, devils, and demi-humans set aside their differences, forging an unprecedented alliance to slay the warring dragons. With great sacrifice and courage, they succeeded. The souls of the Dark Dragon and the White Dragon, however, did not find peace. Instead, they awaited their chance to reincarnate, their destinies bound to new hosts chosen from among humanity. Now, as the world enters its two-thousandth year of peace, the White Dragon has found its bearer—a young warrior named Ryuji. Ryuji, renowned for his valor and mastery of elemental magic, is hailed as the savior who bears the soul of the White Dragon. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to many, the Void Dragon—the counterpart to the White Dragon—awaits its own host, observing humanity from the shadows. As Kazuki Satoru prepares for his first day at a prestigious high school, unaware of the ancient power stirring within him, he finds himself thrust into a world where legends and reality converge. Little does he know, his destiny will soon intertwine with that of the Void Dragon, setting the stage for an epic tale of magic, courage, and the bonds that unite or divide us.

In the stillness of the evening, a sudden, deafening thud shattered the tranquil silence. Zarah’s father, recognizing the uninvited intruders, attempted to flee, only to be seized and brutally beaten by two brawny men. Her mother and sisters watched in horror as their beloved patriarch choked on his own blood. From the shadows, a sinister figure emerged, brandishing a cigarette and cloaked in a woolen coat. "You've ignored my warnings, and now you expect me to show mercy?" He snarled, standing over Zarah's father as he pleaded for his life. "I gave you plenty of time to pay back what you owed. But you ran away with my money, your family, and my cocke." "Please, please, we can work this out!" Zarah's father begged, spitting blood from his battered mouth. The man shook his head, his cruel smirk widening. Too late, amigo," the man sneered. Without hesitation, two gunshots rang out. Zarah's eyes fluttered open, the world a watery blur. What she saw silenced her forever. Her father's head was bashed and bleeding, her mother's stomach torn open. A scream ripped from Zanah's throat, tugging at Zarah's heart. Tears streamed down her face as the horrific realization set in. They were gone.

A young boy, born with a rare omen, descends into a foreign world, carrying with him an ancient, long-forgotten cultivation secret. This is an era filled with legends and myths—an age where ancient elves soar through the skies and move mountains, where Nine Heavens Golden Immortals can shift mountains and part seas, where the supreme gods of various elements control the forces of nature, where primordial treasures from the dawn of the world exist, and where even the colors of the sky change. He is a peerless genius, able to observe the movements of the heavens and create his own invincible cultivation technique. He surges forward at an unstoppable pace, slaying Immortal Emperors, subduing Sacred Beasts, battling the Chaos Divine Sword, gathering the power of the Nine Stars, and breaking the Immortal Slaying Formation.

Most would expect the daughter of the king of one of the four strongest nations in the Realm of the Angels to enjoy great luxury and power. While her Father may enjoy those things, that isn't the case for Rosemary. The hated daughter only manages to attract disdain from others in the royal court despite her gentle and kind nature. Rosemary was born with a weak body, preventing her from living up to the ideals of her father and his court. Such environment pushes Rose to attempting to end it all. But she is unable to do so as she recalls her older brother's love for her. As she drowns, she cries out for help. But no one is around. No one but a certain handsome man with eyes as cold as her father's.

A female lead who had given up on any hope of finding love, stumbles upon a domineering CEO who will stop at nothing to get her to submit to him. Let's see how it turns out. XOXO, THE AUTHOR.

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

Yivor é um jovem garoto que vive com seu pai e sonha em se tornar um aventureiro de classe Cruz de Platina. Determinado a alcançar seu objetivo, ele embarca em grandes aventuras e enfrenta desafios formidáveis ao lado de seu melhor amigo Falkkor. Enquanto desbrava esse caminho perigoso, Yivor começa a desvendar segredos sobre sua origem oculta, que podem mudar o destino de todos ao seu redor.

When the gods grew bored of eternity, they create the Trials of Ascension....a deadly game where humanity’s strongest are summoned to compete for the ultimate prize;immortality and divine favor. But for Elias, a seemingly ordinary orphan boy chosen to join the trials, his journey ends before it even begins. He was killed in an accident before even entering the game, his soul should have been erased. Instead, Elias returns, resurrected by the power of the Aether Core....an ancient power that predates the gods themselves. The Aether Core doesn’t just bring him back...it makes him a wildcard, unbound by the rules of the divine. Now armed with forbidden powers, Elias must navigate a world of ruthless contestants, monstrous foes, and jealous gods who see him as a threat to their order. As he rises through the brutal ranks, Elias begins to uncover the truth about the Trials. The gods want him erased. The other contestants want him dead. But as Elias masters the Aether Core’s abilities.....absorbing powers from fallen foes and challenging the divine itself....he realizes the Trials aren’t just a game to survive. They’re a war to win. And Elias may be the only one capable of shattering the chains binding both mortals and immortals alike. But every victory comes at a cost, and the Aether Core whispers of a darker purpose. With every power Elias claims, he inches closer to losing himself. As rivalries turn into alliances, betrayals, and outright war, Elias must decide: Will he become humanity’s savior? Or the force that dooms them all? [Ding!] [Initializing....] [Welcome player 223] [You have been chosen!] [Welcome to the game of the gods!] ................... A.N: Well, this is my first book, reviews and feedback will be very much appreciated. Add to library and gift power stone

Ein Krieg zwischen den Stämmen und Menschen ist im gange. Und mitten in diesen Kämpfen, wächst Kairo auf. Ein junger Feuerdrache, doch nichts ist richtig mit ihm. Wenn er feuerspucken möchte, speiht er Eis. Wenn er sich in Lava verstecken möchte, verbrennt er sich. Seine Schuppen nicht rot wie alle anderen, sondern Lila. „was ist mit mir los?“. Fragte er sich jeden tag. Ein besonder tag sollte alles für ihn veränderen. Der Kreig mit Drachronia und den anderen stämmen hat gerade erst begannen.

In a dying world where the sole source of energy is Aether, the universal life energy, 'Habens' the inhabitants of habellion faces extinction. Habellion, struggles against the forces of Cheso, a rival world desperate to seize their dwindling Aether reserves. With cloning experiments failing due to clones having low tolerance towards the strong aether waves of habellion and the war taking a devastating toll, destroying almost all of its population and Habellion’s only hope lies in a hidden simulation called Earth. Earth, created during the first war that happened decades ago, serves as an experimental ground where clones—humans—are developed to adapt to low level Aether waves. But when Earth’s Aether energy begins to destabilize, threatening the survival of both Earth and Habellion, an unlikely hero is chosen. Evan, a low-ranked medic from Habellion, is tasked with an impossible mission: journey to Earth, uncover the source of the disruption, and restore balance before it’s too late. With three days in Habellion time—equivalent to three decades on Earth—Evan steps into a world unlike anything he’s ever known. In earth he is now armed with enhanced physical and psychological abilities, and advanced Habellion technology, Transforming him into a superpowered entity. However his powers and his ability as a medic makes him stand out in the mediaeval earth. Evan must navigate Earth’s unfamiliar and primitive society, blending in while investigating the cause of the Aether disruption. However, his mission becomes more complicated as he realizes the simulation is more fragile than he was told, and his actions could alter the course of history. Whispers of divine figures and miraculous powers begin to surround him, placing him at the center of a narrative he never intended to join. As Evan immerses himself in Earth’s culture, he discovers that his presence might alter the course of history. With each step, he faces supernatural dangers, manipulative forces, and the possibility that someone—or something—has been tampering with the simulation. Amidst growing doubts about his own origins and the purpose of his mission, Evan must make choices that could shape the fate of both worlds. Will Evan succeed in saving Habellion and Earth, or will the collapse of the Aether mark the end of everything?

The global civilization thrived for a millennium, gifts where bound to cross… but what happens when these gifts are met by many?

*The Secret of the Three-Eyed Unknown* tells the story of a young sorcerer, Alcyon, and his friends who discover a magical stone marked with the symbol of the "three eyes." An ancient legend claims that this symbol grants power capable of changing their world. To uncover the secret, they must face sorcerers, monsters, and destructive forces. However, their greatest challenge lies not only in awakening the hidden powers within themselves but also in avoiding the dangerous paths of magic. Will they be able to uncover the truth by crossing the boundaries of darkness and light?

In a pack that sees her as nothing more than an outcast, Leslie has spent her life concealing her true self. Her rare white wolf form, a secret passed down by her late mother, has kept her in the shadows, living a life of silence and solitude. But when fate binds her to Jaden, the Alpha's son, her world is thrust into chaos. Once her closest friend, Jaden’s betrayal leaves Leslie falsely accused of a crime she didn't commit, leading to brutal punishments. The Luna's decree of execution seems to seal her fate, but as the darkness threatens to consume her, Leslie's wolf, Elsie, awakens with a fierce determination to protect them both. In a desperate bid for survival, Elsie reveals her true form—a majestic white wolf—breaking the promise Leslie had sworn to keep. Hunted and rejected by the mate she once trusted, Leslie is forced to flee. As she navigates a world of danger and betrayal, she must confront her deepest fears and decide if she can ever trust again. Will the Moon Goddess grant her a second chance at love, or will Leslie remain a prey to those who wish to see her fall? This is a tale of resilience, survival, and the search for a love that transcends the darkest of betrayals.

A beautiful country that was eyed by many rich people who wanted to own it. Despite the land being destroyed by the foreigners who once came as refugees it still continues to be a pure and holy land full of beauty. The people of this country has endured a lot and one day they will get the biggest rewards for enduring it all.

Not being a hero isn't the issue. The only problem I'm facing right now is surviving in this world!

Meet Kim Huxley, a twenty-five-year-old CEO of a modeling company to which he got transferred. He is heartless due to his heart being shattered by his first love, Jane Crimson but then he met Riele Grants who helped him heal his broken heart with her charm until his first love, appeared in his company to work as a model. Meet Riele Grants, a twenty-two-year-old lady, vibrant and cheerful. She works as Kim's assistant. She hated Kim because of his cold personality but when she got closer to him, she found out he was a cold jerk with a warm heart and slowly she found herself falling deeper in love with him. She thought she saw those signs visible in him too not until his first love came and he became a different person. ~~~ "I told you several times, I don't have feelings for you anymore," Kim answered her. She finally got him to talk after pestering him for a long time. How does a person change in such a matter of time? She wondered. "What about everything we shared? The love? The..." "You were nothing but an obsession to me, Riele." he cuts in. Riele looked at the lady beside him who was holding his hand as if her life depended on it. "Are you saying all this because of her? If you..." before she got to finish her words, he pulled Jane closer and kissed her. She got the answer she needed. She was nothing but an obsession he is trying to get rid of. She shouldn't have trusted her heart to handle this situation. She should have used her head instead. She turned around and left with tears in her eyes. The moment she was out of sight, he pulled away from the lady but then he didn't feel those butterflies he felt when he kisses Riele and he wondered why. Why didn't his heart beat the way it did when he was around Riele?

"I don't look like a prostitute because I am not one." she coldly smiles at his questioning gaze as she sips her coffee. 'Jerk!!' she screams in her head. "My apologies." he sincerely said, seeing the expression on her face. "But why do you have a key to this room." "Well, probably because this is MY room." she spat her words as she put down her coffee on top of the coffee table. She chose a magazine with the Kardeshians on the cover and put down her cup on top of it. He scoffed at this girl watching him with open distaste on her pretty face. He would admit that he felt insulted with how she acted now when just a while ago she was feasting on his body while he was on the phone. "You change your mind easily, huh?" he said mockingly. "Just a few minutes ago, you said you like me." "Well, a girl sure can change her mind, as many times as she wants. If you want to change my mind, you could stand up and turn around so I could see you from behind because you see, I prefer a guy with a nice pair of ass." ........................ Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. When her flight was canceled due to a heavy storm, she had a one-night stand with a stranger that happened to be the future CEO of one of the top five pharmaceutical companies in the world. However, the next time they met, he did not remember her! But is it a reason enough to take revenge? If it was, how far would she go to soothe her wounded ego? Was it really just her pride that got hurt? What really happened that night? And how does a night with a stranger change Jess's life? [WARNING: Some chapters may contain mature R-18 content.] --------- Book cover by Jushel

In a marriage of convenience, Nathan, after a night of drinking, has an affair with Ava, leading to her ectopic pregnancy. Before the surgery, Ava calls Nathan, who is preoccupied with his mistress and neglects Ava, even going as far as to accuse her of having an affair and carrying another man's child after the surgery... As their one-year contractual marriage comes to an end, Nathan realizes his feelings for Ava. But Ava is not willing to play along anymore! Excerpt： "I am Nathan Ford's girlfriend, loved by him, as everyone knows. And you... you're just a title holder, soon to be thrown out. By then, you'll lose all your dignity... no, you've already lost it. I bet your deceased mother would turn in her grave if she knew what you've become." Hearing Iris Hart's sharp and biting words, Ava Sterling initially didn't want to stoop to her level. However, the mention of her late mother crossed a line. A crisp slap echoed before Iris Hart could even react, leaving five bright red marks on her face. "Ah—Ava Sterling—you lowlife, how dare you hit me..." Iris Hart realized she had been slapped and reached out to retaliate, but Ava Sterling was prepared and caught her hand easily. "Listen, Iris Hart, if I'm the joke, what does that make you? You're also a joke. At least I'm Nathan Ford's wife by law! You! Iris Hart, are nothing but a mistress scorned by everyone. Every wealthy man may stray, but a hotel is just a hotel, and home is home. There can be many dishes, but there's only one bowl of rice."

Ina is a golden eyed Omega, which is exceptional among desert wolves, living together with her friend Noah in the pack on a desert next to a big city hidden behind huge walls. The life for desert wolves is hard, water is rationed out and what is more, there are some parts that are not available for them as they are inhabited by feral werewolves, which cannot shift into human form anymore, and hunt Ina’s pack and similar ones for food. In the city live the high class werewolves entertaining themselves by organizing huntings on stray werewolves who, when they get caught, are being sold into slavery. Werewolves fights are very popular as well as buying personal slaves.

a man who falls in love with a golden Ball I wish I was joking

first story idea popped up thought I'd run with it for jokes an whatnot so let's see how it does

The novel follows Eis' journey from a boy who believed in nothing to a young man discovering the complexity of power, survival, and self-worth in a world where greed is both a weapon and a weakness. Born with nothing and believing in even less, Eis has lived his life detached from any higher purpose. But fate doesn’t care. For as long as anyone can remember, portals have appeared without warning, swallowing entire landscapes and unleashing monstrous creatures that bring devastation to the world. Each portal is a deadly mystery, and if left unchecked, it leaves disaster in its wake. To clear these portals is to confront the unknown—and only the brave or the desperate dare enter. Awakened or desiring to be one. Eis never wanted to be one of those desperate souls, but the only way to erase his mark of death is to do the one thing he's always avoided: face a portal, overcome his fears, and rediscover his will to live before it's too late.

Shen Jifeng a modren man transmigrated back into the ancient times and became a general. who is already married and have several concubines. but he is nothing more just a beast who will beat and scold his wife. but to his surprise his wife is a ger and he transmitted back into the dynasty where there is three genders male female and gers. He dont have to work in farms to become rich but he have to find the truth behind the death of orginal owner. how can messy imperial family will run away from his hands.