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Cat Noir Holding Bull

BUll Sh it: Only time I will remain politically correct fair warning

Ellen, you’ve always said ‘be kind,’ but let’s be honest—kindness isn’t always a choice, especially when life decides to dump on you. Your show gets canceled and suddenly you’re off to England, like kindness is easier with an accent and a cup of tea. But hey, you’ve never been afraid to make bold choices—except maybe with your sexuality. Was it really a choice, Ellen, or were you just finally sick of men’s b*******? Because honestly, while you were throwing a tantrum on set, I could’ve used some r e a l help, not just r e e l help. Next time, save the drama for the cameras and bring the kindness to real life, yeah? I mean, is your name DeGeneres or DeJerk? And let’s talk about your ‘helping’—everybody you helped had to be run through the CIA first! Be honest, Ellen: did you skip helping some people because the CIA said you shouldn’t, or because you couldn’t remember if you were hosting a talk show or running a background check? At this point, it’s easier to get into the Pentagon than to get a hug from Ellen! But hey, hosting a Big Chill like that, you must know what being syndicated really means—because after all the drama, it looks like your kindness is the only thing still in reruns. And I mean for the viewer, not for you. So how can you know something like that—how the business really works—and still throw a tantrum every time stuff doesn’t go your way? Ellen, with all that experience, you should know: if you want a happy ending, you’ve got to be kind all the way to the credits! And you know what? I challenge you to actually take your own advice for once—help somebody in actual need. Like me, this time. Because it’s not money I need—I need someone to actually give a s***. so I'm callin BS on your BS, respect fu LL y ©F course! how to be not a dick 101
DEAnotsquishedd · 21.6K Views

My Time as a Cat in College

Kitty Qi Xiaohan received an admissions notice. The lion who notified her gleefully smiled and told her that the employment rate after school was 100%, guaranteed. With a heart of longing, Qi Xiaohan packed her luggage and moved to the school. When the schedules were issued, Qi Xiaohan was shocked to find out that even a cat was required to learn calculus, and that they were not allowed to drop out! What kind of modern day education scam was this! Well, she was already here so the kitty stretched her legs. On the first day, she put in all her effort to learn how to write her name. After the stage exam was over, the fluffy classmates anxiously glanced at Qi Xiaohan, who struggled with the cultural lessons. They wanted to console her, but were stunned when they found out she was unexpectedly ranked number one! They glanced at the adorable little kitty, and then at the list, Fluffy classmates: ! …… Lang Chen, the descendant of a mythical beast, was ordered by the school to lead the group of new students. When he saw a tiny kitty who was the size of his paw, he furrowed his brows: How were admissions conducted this year, where did this poor thing come from? Watching the small kitty blindly following him, Lang Chen silently decided that the kitty could stay. He would take good care of this junior sister who was both delicate and cute. Who knew that, when faced by fire-breathing beasts during school training, the delicate kitty would confidently stand at the very front and expose a mouth of white, small kitty teeth, and hostilely meow: “I’ll knock your head off! To make string!” Lang Cheng: ? ? ? What was this cat doing?
Wres_Green · 27.9K Views

The Unfathomable Beyond The Stars[ON HOLD]

The universe holds secrets that were never meant for human eyes. They are whispered in the wind, etched upon the fabric of the cosmos, hidden in the depths of ancient stars. These secrets are not for the faint of heart, nor for those who seek comfort in the familiar. They are for the brave souls who dare to gaze into the abyss and confront the things that lurk in the shadows beyond human comprehension. This is the tale of one such man, a traveler who ventured beyond the bounds of known reality, and in doing so, witnessed the unfathomable horrors that predate even the dawn of mankind. He returned with tales of terror, of ancient entities older than time itself, of whispers that echo in the silence of space, and of the chilling realization that humanity may be just a fleeting blip in a cosmic dance of unimaginable terror. Prepare to delve into the depths of the unknown, into the chilling secrets that lie hidden amidst the stars. This is a story that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about the universe and your place within it. This is the story of the man who saw too much, and the terrifying truths he brought back with him. [Attention: Story Rewrite] This story, while drawing inspiration from the original, has been substantially reworked and expanded upon. The themes, plot points, and characters have been carefully re-evaluated, and the narrative has been rewritten with a fresh perspective. This rewrite aims to provide a more nuanced and engaging reading experience for the audience.
INACTIVE_AUTHOR_ · 8.9K Views
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