My Life Coaches are the Seven Deadly Sins
Chibi Pride: “Look him in the eye, keep your voice steady, and if you need a moment to gather your thoughts, don’t say umm, hold your breath.”
Chibi Sloth: “Think… of all the time… we could save…”
Chibi Gluttony: “Moderation doesn’t mean abstinences.”
Chibi Lust: “Nothing is sexier than a man who brings exotic trophies back from his hunt.”
Chibi Wrath: “It’s not even that big a deal, it’s one freaking box man.”
Chibi Envy: “Come on Greed, if we don’t get it now, we’ll keep thinking about it, then next time a craving hits, we’ll just want more. Probably something more expensive, or more of it.”
Chibi Greed: “It’s. Not. On. The. List.”
Max watched the seven tiny forms of the great and powerful seven deadly sins argue… over a box of Lucky Charms. He steadied his shoulders and met the tiny Greed’s eyes blocking the box he’d reached for, “I’ve worked two double shifts this week, yes it’s outside of budget, and not on the list, but...” He took a moment as Chibi Pride nodded encouragingly.
“Twice this week I left work so late I was too tired to make anything. Yes, it’s cheaper, yes, it’s healthier, but I need something I can grab on the go, or stuff my face in under ten minutes. I’ll ride my bike to work to cut back bus fares.”
Greed glared at his companions, “We’re supposed to work together.”
Pride grinned showing all his teeth, “We are.” The other five all grinned at Greed playfully.
“I am getting a box of Lucky Charms Greed.” Max didn’t let his voice waver under Greed’s increasingly irate scowl. After a small hesitation, he reached for the box next to Greed, and put it in his cart. When Pride patted his ear he let out the breath he’d been holding as a wide smile spread over his face. Hell yeah! I finally did it! After three months, they, no he, managed to stand his ground.
Ryan, the security guard, watched the young man… talk to a box of cereal. All the fucking crazies around here, he hated it when they started talking to themselves. Never knew when one would get violent… at least this kid was a regular… always talking to fruits, vegetables, sometimes the occasional discounted meat. He leaned his head to his walkie talkie, “It’s our fruit negotiator, apparently the cereal isn’t keen on going home with him today. Tell Karen she can relax.”
Ruby listened to the chatter as she gave her best customer service smile to their very own special Karen. She’d refused to pay for her four hundred dollars’ worth of groceries until someone verified the crazy guy she’d spotted had been spoken to. Her two crotch goblins still screaming hysterically in the father’s cart… they had to be at least eight years old already… God how much longer was her shift?
Ruby checked her phone… seven hours… and twenty-three more minutes… not including her lunch.
