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Nice Dick Bro

Bro, I'm not an Undead!

Bro! You wouldn’t believe this! Everything was normal. Me and my bros doing some mining for mana gems for that old sockethole, Somanda like we always do all day, everyday. Me, Fractures, Bonet, Mono-socket, Broadbone and the gang. Then from nowhere, that ungrateful sockethole, Somanda tries to END me! Can you believe that?! I mean, I have told some questionable stories about him caressing my skull affectionately and deeming me his prized undead, but no need to axe a skeleton for something like that, right? RIGHT?! I managed to escape through one of the most convenient and contrived get-aways in all of undead history, even managing to pull a bony one on the Lich bastard by stealing two of his seemingly important possessions which I find out later to be better than I thought they’d be! From there it’s a just a SPIRAL of boneshit left and right! I can’t catch a break! What’s with this atrocious luck, bro?! A voice speaks to me about how I have qualified for something about a something that’s supposedly something’s something! Then I find myself in a new world that reeks of life and gives my bones a disgusted rattle. Powerful beasts and men are at every turn, all lining up to be a huge pain in my PELVIS! GAAAAH! Jeez this is happening too fast! However, even while I’m in the thick of this, the one saving grace is that I got something worth while! A new path of power! I can NOT be an undead! I can be something better than both the Living and the Dead! Immune to the antics from both sides. Well... most of them! I’m no longer on the path for Undeath! Only Lifelessness awaits me! I’m the one who transcends reality in this tale! I am... SKULLIUS! And I’m not an UNDEAD! ...... [Author’s Answers To Popular Readers’ Questions] Q: (IHateArjuun77) -Hey author, is your book trash?- A: (Author) -Haha, screw you dear reader. The answer is NO. The story has elements of comedy, action, magic, adventure and Brutality. Like it gets really dark sometimes. There’s a comprehensive story with characters that I tried my damndest to NOT make generic on top of a cool power system that’s for the most part easy to understand. So its not trash. Q: (IFreakingHateArjuun56) -Hey author why is your first volume so slow paced and... trash?- A: (Author) -Haha. It’s how I designed the First Volume to be. It’s a fun setup that doesn’t focus on many things other than the MC’s mentality, powers and route of progression. The next volumes are normal paced, focusing on the world, the villains and general expansion but all while still retaining the book theme and fun experience- Q: (ShadeIsAPervert001) -Hey author, I instinctively sense that I’ll hate this book, when should I drop? A: (Author) -Is this the same reader?! Anyway, I’ll give a range. Read a minimum of the first 20 chapters to a max of up to chapter 44 before you decide on anything too rash. I’ll hunt down this reader! --- Discord: [ https://discord.gg/8hcraTjzE9 ]
Shade_Arjuun · 2.2M Views

Bro...I'm Divine!!

Alright, Bro, just hear me out. I’ve got something to tell you, and, uh... it’s a lot. You know how I’ve always been the odd one out in the Mustang family? The black sheep in a legendary line of knights and mages? Everyone in our family gets born with these crazy Rare, legendary, or even mythical pillars—proof of their greatness, right? But me? Nope. Voidborn. Nada. Zero. The one Mustang who can’t even light a candle with magic. But I didn’t give up! I mean, sure, people laughed at me. Sure, the family treated me like I was some kind of cosmic mistake. And yeah, maybe the bullies at school called me "magicless Louis." But I kept studying, searching for a way to fix myself. I didn’t care what it took—I was going to prove everyone wrong!. So, there I was, wandering around the Black Market—you know, the totally shady place Aunt Melissa would freak out about—and I found it: a ritual book. The solution. My chance to stop being Voidborn. I did the ritual in my dorm, thinking it would awaken my pillars. And guess what? It worked! ...Kind of. When I woke up, I felt it that power coursing through me like never before. But when I looked in the mirror, I realized something was... off. My hair was long, my voice was higher, and also became breathtakingly beautiful. that's right bro. I BECAME A WOMAN! So, now I’m stuck like this. But hey, at least I’ve got magic, right? Silver linings! I mean, sure, I might never be the ‘man’ my family wanted, but who cares? I’ve got pillars now, and I’m not letting anyone take that away from me. But Bro, I need your help. I don’t know what I should now. I don’t know how to handle all this power—or, y’know, this body. So, please, Bro, help me out. You’re the only one I can trust. ...And if you laugh, I swear I’ll hex your eyebrows off. Got it? ___________________________________ Hallo everyone!, I hope you will like this novel I came up with last night lol edit1: I said that from 2024 lol, now I fully planned the story!. but at the cost, my writing skills were getting rusty. The chapter 1 is old but great, very fitting so i decided to keep it, and the latest chapters are new. I apologize if my writing skills are bad. Right now i am trying to work hard and even become better at it, I will also be posting this story on RoyalRoad.com, https://www.royalroad.com/profile/637450 So yeah, that's it. I hope you all enjoy my story. now then, see ya!
Dear_VurVand · 609 Views

Lord Summoner's Freedom Philosophy: Grimoire of Love

Summoning. One of the rarest type of magician exist in the world. Who would able to underestimate summoning and ordering a mighty pheonix, or summoning an invincible dragon? Of course, none. To master the path of summoning, only those born with an innate talent and strive to learn the path of summoning magic might be capable of achieving and master the powerful magic. But not for Lyan Arcanium Evocatore. After succeeding defeating his lifetime quest of saving the human world by offering his life, the great incubus's wish of living freely got granted and he wakes up at a parallel world with 8 powerful spirits contracted with him and a summoning grimoire. [The gods have granted you the Grimoire of Summoning: Creatures of Love] [You're capable of obtaining the summonable monsters by having affectionate intercourse with your romantic interests] [The Grimoire is chosen in consideration of the host's former occupation as an incubus] "Intercourse!?" But not only the grimoire, The other problem is... -You are? -Whoa... What with this weakling? -It seems that you're my master, nice to meet you -So you're the forementioned servant, huh!? -B-Big bro! Y-You're the summoner! -........ -Boy, you look delicious -Um... Where exactly are we? "How should I know!? And why the hell should I sleep with women in order to get my summonable monsters!?!?" Follow the summoner Lyan as he collect monsters, get dragged into different kinds of war, became the greatest feudal lord, battling the goblin king, facing the dragon tribe, and opposing the evil god followers! One of the King of Kings Series ______________________________________ Join the discord server for discussions, announcements, and characters illustrations ---> https://discord.gg/v872fq3s5h
Arkalphaze · 1.3M Views
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