Hetalia Ancient Greece

After reincarnating eight times unsuccessfully due to a glitch in the netherworld, Jia Hao finally reincarnated in the world of Urban Fantasy, an eroge game that he played before. However, he realized the game was currently in the bad ending mode and he is powerless like a side character without any game system. Skinny dude who blackmails girls? Check! Fat Ugly Uncle who lusts after women? Check! Blonde haired delinquent whose eyes are covered with bangs? Check! As Jia Hao was wrecking his brain to how to change the plot, he found a mysterious pot that can take him into an ancient world, and the items he brought from the modern world transformed into heavenly treasures! " Now, you dare to gaze at my women? My dear wives! Beat him to death!" Jia Hao ordered as he leaned back on the chair like a salted fish.

After the Guardian God's demise. Zack inherited his legacy. Zack is a driven individual who wields a lot of power. Will he follow the Guardian God's trail of footprints? Or Will he continue to forge his own legacy? He is intelligent, calm, and composed. When it comes to making decisions, he is decisive. In the world of Humans, Monsters, and other unknown species, he learns and grows. "I know you guys were the most powerful bloodline warriors dispatched to assassinate me. However, in the end, it makes no difference." With a slight smile on his face, Zack ridiculed. "Anything that stood in my way will be obliterated by my lightning," Zack added. "Lightning is Absolute!" ****************************************************** Current Plan- 7chaps/week. For more release, Vote with Power Stones. Target: 1st level- 100PS/Week. Result- 14chaps/Week. ******************************************************* Disclaimer: This is a Fantasy novel. Everything about this novel is Fictional. *******************************************************

In a world that is full of beast tamers, Samuel who lives with his sole parent, his father, is faced with a crisis when their village is attacked. It's on this occasion that he finds out that his father was also a beast tamer. But his strength was not capable of dealing with the beast that had attacked. His beast is killed and he suffers a backlash that leads to him being bedridden. As for the beast that attacked, it retreated after killing almost all the villagers. During his father's dying moments, he reveals that Samuel held a deep power within him and that he should go out and explore it. They had hidden in that village for over 18 years, to avoid the exploitation of his talent. As he finally leaves the village for the first time as long as he could remember, he finally ventures into the world, with a big secret hidden within him.

That day, the breath of the great whale dispersed the fog, and a new era arrived. Chen Qi accidentally transmigrated into the steampunk-apocalyptic game world of 'New Sun,' starting with the monstrous talent "Deep Sea Affinity," where ancient deep-sea creatures saw him as one of their own. Although he possessed the talents of a monster, as a transmigrator, he still maintained the original intentions of humanity, striving to level up with the firm resolve to become a world-renowned Monster Hunter. Finally, after his relentless efforts, the popular Dove Times sharply commented: "From the ancient deep sea, a scoundrel with evil bloodlines who threatens witches with tentacles, the arrogant lone Emperor of the Fifth, who aims to conquer the Witch Sea!" False news, blatant false news! Even though he grew tentacles, threatened witches, raised sea dragons, collected tolls, and sang the death chorus with sea monsters. He was truly not of any Deep Sea Ancient God's bloodline but a dedicated and responsible Hunter. Chen Qi cut down the fleet before him and earnestly clarified.

【Hilarious and Adorable Novel】 As a military doctor with expertise in both Chinese and Western medicine, Gu Changsheng felt that this time-traveling journey was ridiculously screwy! Once he traveled back, he was gifted a son, hmm, it felt quite nice. Having a son to rely on in old age, plus owning a steady estate, wealth and glory weren't hard to come by. A lousy father turns over a new leaf? Sorry, mom here isn't fond of revisiting the past! Son, what kind of dad do you want? From the multitude of handsome and wealthy young men out there, let’s pick and choose… This is the story of a bizarrely outstanding female doctor, strutting through ancient times with her child in tow!

``` [Le roman urbain le plus chaud de 2022] Pour sauver quelqu'un, un pauvre garçon a inopinément acquis du Sang de Dragon comme fortifiant corporel et a même dormi avec une belle PDG. Par un coup du sort, il est devenu le garde du corps de cette PDG, entamant ainsi un incroyable renversement de situation. La PDG, "Viens dans ma chambre ce soir pour parler travail." Long Fei, "Tu essayes de me tuer ? En parler tous les jours pendant un mois, tu ne peux pas me laisser souffler ?" ```

(Action);(Rebirth);(Supreme); (Overpowered); (Own Developed Cultivation Method/System); (Invincible); (Unrequited love); (Calm); (Hot Blooded); (Avenue Power); (Ultimate Physique); (Devouring Power) (Many more will be added later.) ********************************** (Average words per chapter is around :- 1500 words to 2000 words) ********************************** In the world of cultivation, where strength is fate, destiny bends for nothing-except power. The story went a little different in the case of Qiangu Qitian, a young man hailing from Earth, carrying burdensome baggage in the form of regrets from the past life, thrown into an ancient universe-one which only the strong lived and prospered in. Qiangu Qitian could only vaguely remember the novel about cultivation that he read in his previous life, and his body was weak; it's tough for him to get accustomed to this perilous world. He thus forged in iron the Technique-an entirely new and unique refinement cultivation process, cell by cell, of his very being. Without any teacher or master to bring him through, Qiangu Qitian forged his way to eventually reach the top in this world's first big step in the hierarchy of cultivation: the Blood Forging Realm. Just as he came into his own with the surge of new strength, destiny had in store for him a cruel twist of events. While basking in the glory of this success, some mysterious, malevolent creature appeared, drawn to this achievement. This unknown force consumed the essence of a very rare and powerful physique Qiangu Qitian had awakened in such an innocent manner and left him to his death. His body was weak now, lifeless, thrown aside like some tool he no longer needed, to warn against cruelties of this world. But nature is full of its own rules, and fate is not so easy to tell. Qiangu Qitian went against all odds as his frail body was once again claimed by life forces. Stripped of the powers he struggled so hard to gain, with his awakened physique stolen and his essence sapped, on the brink of despair, he sat. But Qiangu Qitian was no ordinary soul. Qiangu Qitian was that young introverted but ambitious man who dared to disobey his father so he could pursue his dream. That resistance against the man who had given him life is what now burnt up his spirit like an all-consuming fire. If he could, in his eyes, square up with his father to pursue his ambitions, no god, no force of heaven, no unknown entity was ever again going to stop him from success. An indestructible will, burning in a restless heart, a determined soul to have back all that was taken from him and to surpass at least the one who snatched what was his from the very start. Led on by a wish for revenge and a search for identity, Qiangu Qitian embarks on an adventure at every turn of which draws him along a path curtained with mystery, with secrets to date forbidden techniques reveal to him, and most especially with unseen potentials within. While his body may be weak, his spirit burns brighter than ever. Refining the Cellular Tempering Technique to unimaginable heights, Qiangu Qitian rebuilds his cultivation anew, unleashing a potential that even his adversaries could never have foreseen. On his journey, he finds that strength is not a matter of power but of resilience, adaptability, and bravery in the face of a world that seems to want to bring one down. In a world full of sects fighting for supremacy, ancient clans guarding their legacies, and forces behind the scenes pulling on the strings of fate, Qiangu Qitian's journey takes on the meaning of not only survival but also redemption. He refused to be a victim of circumstance or a chess piece of someone else's game. His journey is a story of unyielding man's will who refuses to let his destiny get stolen.

In a world split between the physical realm and the mysterious spirit realm, only a rare few—spiritualists—can tap into the powers hidden within the layers of the unseen world. After a great tragedy Euric is devastated. With only the thought of revenge left in his mind, Euric is rescued by spiritualists who bring him to an ancient enclave where he can train to confront the dark forces haunting both realms. As he hones his skills, Euric finds himself entangled in mysteries of the spirit realm and a growing darkness that challenges his purpose, pushing him toward choices that will forever alter his fate.

``` [Novel urban paling hot tahun 2022] Untuk menyelamatkan seseorang, seorang anak laki-laki miskin secara tak terduga mendapatkan Darah Naga sebagai penguat tubuh dan bahkan tidur dengan seorang wanita CEO yang cantik. Oleh putaran takdir, dia menjadi pengawal wanita CEO tersebut, dimulailah perjalanan luar biasa penuh kesuksesan. CEO wanita, "Datang ke kamarku malam ini untuk membahas pekerjaan." Long Fei, "Apa kamu mencoba membunuhku? Membahas pekerjaan setiap hari selama sebulan, tidakkah kamu bisa memberiku jeda?" ```

``` —Ven a mi habitación esta noche para hablar de trabajo —dijo la CEO. —¿Estás intentando matarme? Hablar de trabajo todos los benditos días durante un mes, ¿no puedes darme un respiro? —preguntó Long Fei. ```

[O romance urbano mais quente de 2022] Para salvar alguém, um garoto pobre adquiriu inesperadamente Sangue de Dragão como um fortificante corporal e até dormiu com uma bela CEO. Por uma reviravolta do destino, ele se tornou o guarda-costas dessa CEO, iniciando assim uma jornada de uma reviravolta incrível. CEO, "Venha ao meu quarto essa noite para discutir trabalho." Long Fei, "Você está tentando me matar? Discutindo trabalho todo santo dia por um mês, não dá para me dar um tempo?"

In the vast and boundless fantasy world, there is a young man named Yun Che, who has lived in a remote village since childhood and his life story is a mystery. One day, a strange phenomenon suddenly appeared in the world, and Yun Che awakened a shocking ability - the ancient holy body of the sign-in system! This ancient holy body is the supreme physique left by the ancient gods. The owner can devour the spiritual energy of heaven and earth and condense the supreme divine power. With this physique, Yun Che's cultivation has advanced by leaps and bounds. It only took a few months from obscurity to shocking the world. However, with the growth of power, Yun Che has gradually been involved in disputes and conspiracies on the continent. Major forces coveted his ancient holy body and rushed to snatch it. In the face of numerous crises, Yun Che was indomitable. With the help of the mysterious treasures obtained by the sign-in system, he overcame all obstacles and embarked on the road of strength. During this journey full of adventures and challenges, Yun Che met a group of like-minded partners, and together they explored the true secrets of the ancient holy body and the shocking mystery hidden deep in the continent. Through thrilling battles and breakthroughs on the brink of life and death, Yun Che will eventually stand at the top of the world and write his own legendary chapter!

Warning: A story with multiple perspectives its mean will  be another points of view from each other characters that involved. ---------- "In an ancient civilization, warriors were revered as protectors against monstrous threats that endangered humanity. However, when their leader, embodying light and wisdom, chose to live among humans, he was accepted while the others were rejected, sparking a brutal war among the warriors. In a desperate bid to end the conflict, the light's lover, known as The Forgotten, made a devastating decision to seal the warriors' powers and souls, erasing their existence from history. Fast forward 40,000 years to a future where the world is governed by X.A.G (eXtended Active Guardian), the most powerful military company ruling over the union of Hiltonia. Young Orphenus, the leader of Hiltonia, stumbles upon the existence of the Ancient Warriors, setting off a chain of events that could unravel the carefully constructed history of their world. As Orphenus delves deeper into the mystery of the warriors, he begins to uncover dark truths that threaten the very foundation of Hiltonia's society. Will the revelation of the Ancient Warriors' past bring about salvation or destruction for the future of humanity?"

In the lands of myths and the time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rest on the shoulders of a young man, his name is ......., just kidding. what will you do? if you find your self in a foreign world far from home and all the legends( in this case all the Greek legends ) are true. if you are interested, follow the story of Diomedes and his epic journey towards survival in a world with its own rules. All the legends are true.

Waking up to a city under siege, Kodesh, a boy of 16 years with no mystical powers fights against all odds to escape the war torn city and somehow stumbles upon a mysterious and deadly system. The system eventually opened his spiritual eyes to more powerful forces of the spiritual realm ruling the physical world. Together with a band of misfits, they try to save the world from the apocalyptic dangers lurking in the shadows of both the physical and the spirit. But before striving to save the world, he has to first save himself from overpowered dark entities sedulously attempting to possess his body. “We are going to Greece. Right now we don’t stand a chance against those abominations.” “How are we going to defeat Greek gods?” “I promise you, we have a better chance against all the Greek gods combined than against just one of those dragons.”

In a world divided by ancient power and shadowed by the rule of four kings, 17-year-old Dorothy is thrust into a destiny she neither understands nor desires. Born in a quiet village and raised in the safety of an orphanage, her life changes forever when a mysterious old man tells her of the Celestial Eye, a legendary power said to hold the key to unimaginable strength—and a curse that could unmake her very soul. Unknowingly bound to the celestial forces through the old man’s love and an unsealed eye that glimpses fragments of the future, Dorothy embarks on a perilous journey to uncover the truth about her origins and the powers surging within her. Alongside her steadfast mentor Kael, the mysterious hunter Arden, and her childhood friend Mark—whose vast knowledge is as intriguing as it is suspicious—Dorothy must navigate trials of self-discovery, confront her deepest fears, and uncover secrets buried in the ruins of history. But as she delves deeper into the mysteries of the Celestial Eye, Dorothy learns that her world is far more fragile than she ever imagined. Elves whisper of a dying queen, shapeshifters lurk with centuries-old grudges, and a shadowy demon—an entity with a hunger for celestial power—looms closer than anyone suspects. The threads of fate begin to unravel when Dorothy discovers a past written in blood, a future painted in fire, and a prophecy that could either save her world or destroy it. Faced with ancient curses, relentless enemies, and an enigmatic villain hidden among her closest allies, Dorothy must decide if she’s willing to embrace the celestial power within her—or let it consume her entirely. In this tale of trials, betrayal, and the resilience of the human spirit, The Ancient Secret takes readers on a journey where the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows, and even the kindest faces may hide the deepest secrets. Will Dorothy rise to become a savior, or will the celestial forces claim her as their own?

Struck by lightning, she woke up in a world that had never heard of tofu. Armed with modern knowledge and a plate of ambition, Lin Wei is ready to turn a humble bean into a culinary empire. But can a single mother survive jealous neighbors, scheming rivals, and the lure of ancient royalty? In a land where tradition rules, she’s about to rewrite the recipe for success—one block of tofu at a time.

Leo Carter is just your average 21st-century English major—slightly disorganized, perpetually late, and hopelessly hooked on the dramatic, old-school world of Shakespeare. But when a late-night study session with Julius Caesar unexpectedly turns into an accidental trip through time, Leo finds himself not in a college dorm, but smack-dab in the heart of ancient Rome. To make matters worse, Leo isn't just a tourist; he's holding a mysterious, glowing book that seems to pulse with a life of its own and whispers secrets that no modern-day student should ever know. Cue the eye-rolls from history buffs everywhere: Leo Carter, with his sneakers and too-tight jeans, is now the unlikely center of attention in a world full of toga-wearing senators, opportunistic politicians, and more backstabbing than a high school cafeteria. With the help of Gaius, a sharp-tongued scholar who suspects Leo's arrival is part of a bigger picture, Leo must navigate the bustling city streets, avoid unwanted attention from the guard, and figure out why his 21st-century self is now entangled in a centuries-old power struggle. All the while, he’s juggling his modern sensibilities with the unexpected—and often absurd—realities of life in ancient Rome, including questionable hygiene, impromptu gladiator fights, and more than one ill-timed “Et tu, Brute?” moment. As if that wasn't enough, there’s the book: a relic that some seek to control and others to destroy. With his own life on the line, Leo will have to learn the real lessons of ambition, loyalty, and how to properly make an entrance when surrounded by a crowd of toga-clad onlookers. And he might just find that some things—whether ancient or modern—are more timeless than they seem.

A young historian and mythology enthusiast, Aiden Drake, dies unexpectedly in a freak accident. Instead of the afterlife he imagined, he wakes up in a vivid world that mirrors Ancient Greece, where gods, monsters, and legendary heroes roam. However, this is no mere replica of Greek mythology—it’s a dangerous, living realm where mortals fight for survival, and gods are as fickle and treacherous as they are powerful. Aiden quickly learns he’s been summoned by the goddess Hecate, who seeks his help to stop a mysterious force that threatens to plunge the Greek pantheon into chaos. In this world, Aiden must navigate divine politics, survive terrifying monsters, and unlock the secrets of his own dormant powers as he becomes an unexpected player in a divine chess game

In the world of hunter, dungeon and Tower, Long Zhen considered as trash his elder brother and sister at the age of five start cultivating their QI and they considered as very talented with bright future but Long Zhen at age of five still don't feel the QI around him, like other children before the awakening. In this world, only rare and God like talents can feel the QI around them, before the awakening of profession...... When Long Zhen was five year old he and his family get in a tragic accident, where as his family members don't even injured that much Doctor and other people considered them as first priority over Long Zhen. who is more injured then anyone with an broken arms, bruised face covered in broken glasses, when Long Zhen, fighting for life and death only one doctor giving him treatment, but it wasn't enough due to lack of proper treatment, Long Zhen Die, when his brother and sister know about his death they start crying, suddenly Long Zhen body heal with no injuries on his body, all doctor and his brother and sister present their got shocked by this event..... When Long Zhen wake up, he heard a robotic sound in his head and then he realised he got a system but Long Zhen is very confused and shocked, because without awakening the profession, no one can have system..... So what is the reason of accident, what are the origin of the system, can Long Zhen now become a hunter?.... No no, can Long Zhen now become a God.? Please read my novel.... I know my English is not good please gave me some guidance, how can I improve myself. NO HAREM

People got a planet in the beginning and what to do with it was up to them. Wang Yi, a young man in the 21st century, coincidentally crossed his soul into a world where everyone had the opportunity to awaken a planet. The larger the diameter of the planet, the more advanced the energy transformed, and the more powerful the civilization created. Some people obtained the planet's energy as " Martial True Qi" and used the creation sandbox to create a martial civilization, and the people on the planet were all martial artists. Some people get the planet's energy as "Immortal True Energy" and use the creation sandbox to create an immortal civilization, and the people on the planet were all cultivators! Some people obtained the energy of the planet as "Fighting Qi", and used the creation sandbox to create the civilization of Fighting Qi, and people on the planet are all fighters! Some people obtained the energy of the planet as "Soul Power", and used the creation sandbox to create the Soul Path Civilization, and the people on the planet were all Soul Masters! ... Everyone was struggling to evolve a magical civilization system. Wang Yi, however, used his past life memories to start evolving an "ancient" civilization! "Your world-extinguishing laser cannon is powerful, but I have the son of the Great Dao, Pan Gu! One axe will reduce your world to naught!" "Your thousands of angels are powerful, but I have three thousand Chaos Demon Gods to beat you in a minute!" "Your army of darkness is awesome, but I have the Buddha's Paramount Sage, who will defeat you in a minute!" "..." This was a story of how the ancient civilization crushed various transcendent civilizations.

After Yun Xiao's death, his soul flew into the sky, and he was shocked to find that the vast world he had lived in for sixteen years was shaped like a tomb! Under the tomb is an ancient copper coffin, as big as the sea, with a demonic aura, all the land is a piece of loess on the coffin, and trillions of living people are actually multiplying in the tomb soil! Inside the huge coffin is a fairy corpse with eyes like hell, mouth like hell, hair like a dragon, and body like a million mountains. I don't know where the immortal gods have been sleeping here forever! The youth's wronged soul is immortal, escaped into the immortal corpse and was reborn. Using the Tianzhu of the world as the sword, and the floating continent as the talisman, one person and one coffin will kill through the immortal road and pass through the heavens to prove the truth! (Disclaimer I don't own any of the characters and book elements. This is a english translation of a Chinese novel.)

Animesh, a man reincarnated into a parallel world in India, finds himself selected as the puppet Prime Minister in 1996, right after the government of Atal Bihari Vajpayee and the BJP has collapsed. Waking up just days before taking the oath of office, Animesh discovers that he has been granted access to a powerful system designed to aid in the management of the government. With his parents serving as influential members of parliament, Animesh has the support and connections needed to sway the political landscape in his favor. Determined to restore India to its ancient glory, Animesh harnesses the capabilities of the system, aiming to lead the nation back to its rightful place. Will he be able to make India great again, embodying the spirit of Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam—the idea that the world is one family? --- This is all fictional world and nothing to do with reality.

In the world of Eternals, three powerful factions coexist: Demons, Immortals, and Gods. Millions of years ago, on the planet Tianmo, these powers ruled in relative peace. However, an unexpected war broke out. The Demons, aided by their Imperial Planet, known as the "Imperial Demon Palace," escalated the conflict. At that time, the Gods and Immortals were reluctant to engage in battle as they were focused on a secretive, grand plan. After a grueling 10,000-year war, the Father God and the Immortal Emperor made the ultimate sacrifice, self-detonating along with all the powerful Gods, Immortals, and Demons. The Demons, desperate to uncover the mysterious plan of the Gods and Immortals, were left with nothing. What was the grand plan of the Gods and Immortals?

In the year 2057 the world as we know had went through a great change when the mysterious 'Mana' had made its arrival to earth. Humans gained supernatural powers, animals became beast like and grew more powerful, while plants gained self-awareness. Humans became more powerful, awakening supernatural abilities of different kind. Becoming something that would later be known as the "Evolved human." It was a new Era where the old laws of the world had fell. And only the strong rules while the weak submitted to their dominance. However, a young boy who goes by the name Carson wasn't as lucky as everyone else. For some reason his body rejected the mana that threatened to dwell within his body leaving him incapable of gaining any powers to survive in this new world. Eventually he was bitten by a mutant insect leaving him on the verge of death. Carson thought that his life was about to come to an unfortunate end. However, fate had other plans for the young boy, as his vision had lost focus, he heard an angelic voice that seemed to resonate deep within his soul. [Ding!] [Congratulations! Host has been chosen as the next inheritor of the previous master's legacy!] [Will you accept? (Yes/No)] ----- (A/N: If you notice any errors, broken contents while reading please let me know, I'll go back and make the necessary corrections.) (Disclaimer: This world is pure fantasy, and has no relations to reality! If you see cities and countries that rembles those of real life it is purely coincidence.)

Xu Xiang is a doomsday survivor who survived for forty years. Before she could fulfill her dream of becoming the overlord, she died. Opening her eyes, she returned to the fifteen years before the doomsday began. With the help of her family heirloom the dragon and phoenix ring, she hoards supplies and prepares to welcome the doomsday. Unfortunately, she was betrayed by her own family and died the night before the doomsday begins. With hatred in her heart, she swallowed the dragon and phoenix ring and jumped off the cliff. When she opened her eyes again, she was still alive, but arrived in a world that was plagued by endless wars and constant natural disasters. Although she's lucky enough to get another chance, she's unknowingly drawn into political turmoil where someone may be killed without knowing who the killer is. Can she survive in this ancient world that is more dangerous and full of hidden dangers than her own? Can she find the courage to trust someone else again? After two lifetimes, can she find her own happiness?

A God’s Relic… In a world where ancient deities once walked among mortals, their powerful relics now lie hidden in treacherous dungeons—suddenly appearing in every major city, filled with dangerous monsters from realms of fantasy and myth. These relics offer incredible strength and abilities befitting the entities they represent, but... They may come with dangerous curses that can change—or even ruin—one's life. Thus, while they were sought after, one should be wary of their allure of great power... As it often comes with great curses...! One such foolish adventurer tasted the incredible yet cursed power... Isaac Hunter. An ordinary office worker who dreamed of becoming a renowned adventurer, Isaac longed to explore these dangerous dungeons and seek riches and glory. However, he lacked a dungeon license—a government-mandated requirement to enter these dungeons—and obtaining one was neither easy nor cheap... So, he continued to set aside a portion of his salary, hoping to finally get that license and achieve his goal in the near future... Yet Lady Luck had other plans for him On his way to work, a dungeon entrance suddenly spawned beneath him, and he fell into it. Inside, he faced a fearsome monster from ancient mythology and, against all odds, defeated it. As a reward, he discovered a treasure chest at the dungeon’s end. Within lay a relic from an ancient, powerful god... [Item Acquired: Zeus's Ring of Lightning] [Ability: Lightning Mastery.] [Curse: Extremely High Libido.] Disclaimer: This novel of mine may reference themes of sexual activity and explicit content, but such elements will not be described in explicit detail due to legal restrictions in my country regarding pornographic material.

"So, you're telling me I wrestled three cyclopes last night and... won?" Dr. Alexander Matthews, a myth-obsessed professor, never expected his latest research trip to Greece would lead to actually becoming Hercules. After stumbling upon a cursed diary, Alexander wakes up in ancient Greece... only now he’s got bulging muscles, an olive-wood club, and a to-do list that includes slaying the Nemean Lion. His body is built for heroics, but his mind is still very much a coffee-fueled academic. Between dodging centaurs and managing way too many injuries, Alexander struggles to keep his cool. With ancient monsters to fight, divine drama to dodge, and the constant realization that he's really bad at ancient Greek armor, Alexander must somehow survive Hercules' legendary labors — all while trying not to faint from pain... or embarrassment. "So, about the Nemean Lion... any chance it just needs a hug?"