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Funny Lawn Gnomes

The wolf and the gnome

Theron and Kael have been inseparable since childhood—a clever, sarcastic gnome and a confident, troublemaking werewolf prince. Together, they’ve terrorized their teachers, stolen cookies from the palace kitchens, and declared themselves “brothers for life.” But when Theron accidentally discovers he’s Kael’s fated mate, he knows the universe must have made a mistake. Why? Because Kael has spent years describing his dream mate in nauseating detail: “Big-breasted, long-haired, and so hot they’d melt snow just by walking into a room.” Theron stares at his reflection. Flat chest? Check. Short hair? Double check. Definitely not hot enough to melt snow. The Moon Goddess must be having a bad day. His solution? Pretend he doesn’t know. Ignorance is bliss, right? Hide, Gnomes were best at hiding. Except Kael eventually finds out. And chaos ensues. “You’re my mate?” “Uh… no, I’m not. You’ve got the wrong gnome. Goodbye!” Theron yells, making a break for it. Kael isn’t having it. He chases him down like a wolf on a hunt. “You think you can outrun me? You’re like, three .” “Four feet!” Theron snaps, before getting tackled. Now, Theron is stuck with a mate who won’t take no for an answer. “You said you like big-breasted girls! Look at me—I’m a twig!” Kael shrugs, grinning. “I’ve decided I like twigs.” “What about long hair?” “Yours is short, but it’s cute.” Theron throws up his hands. “I’m not sexy!” Kael smirks. “Not yet. But give me some time.”
Maya_J02 · 4.6K Views

Monsters Within: The Genesis

"Why don't skeletons fight each other?" She turned to look at him, her eye brows furrowed. "How does this have anything to do with the dire situation we are in?" She gripped her scythe, tightly. Fear still gripping her. He kept on talking as if he didn't hear her. "Because they don't have guts." Before bursting into one insane laughter that filled her with warmth. Fear slowly dissolving, she joined to. Few moments after the laughter died. "Your joke... It wasn't funny." His eyes widened, comically holding his chest in hurt. "Ouch!" Before flashing a hot crazy grin. "Well that wasn't the purpose in the first place though it wouldn't hurt if it was funny. Now you are much relaxed, don't you agree?" Funnily enough she was. They both stared down at the ruins. "Our inner monsters make excellent dance partners once you learn to lead." He started again this time his voice much solemn. "But what if it refuses?" She closed her eyes. Thinking about it was stressful. "Tame him with kindness or bribe it with chocolate it works with mine... Then you'll dance in the battlefield like a battle fiend you are meant to be like everyone's watching and the monster inside you is your hypeman. Whatever works." ------------------------------------------------- A suicidal psychotic girl scarred by the loss of her childhood best friend and mother which no one believed existed transmigrated into a very unusual world. On waking up in her new body she discovers that her previous body owner didn't make life any easier for her. Especially when she killed The Royal Sixth Princess of Alvaron. And well killed herself. Amanise is caught in a murder case she didn't actually do. And why everything seems 'normal' in the beginning she soon discovers that real things lurk in the dark. And it wasn't her laundry pile under her bed. ---------------------------------------------------- Hi am XR, A new author with my first book. English isn't my strong suit but I will make the read enjoyable. Though it's new, Don't miss out on the ride is gonna be amazing. THE BOOK COVER IS MINE. Peace.
XReigns1 · 11.4K Views
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