Dirty Jokes For Him

"I stress repeatedly, the attitude of the Cultivation World is inherently distorted, not because I distorted it. They say history is written by the victors, so why am I still constantly slandered even after I've won?" Lu Yang Sword Immortal said so angrily in an interview with the reporter. The next day. "I stress repeatedly, I am the one who distorted the attitude of the Cultivation World." Lu Yang Sword Immortal said so angrily during the reporter's interview. - Reported by the 《Cultivation Daily》for you.

CURRENTLY UNDER EDITING Started: May 22, 2020 I was born in this world having the sex organ of a man. So basically, I'm a man. However, I could get pregnant, too, like female species. Why? Oh, it's because I'm an Omega, specifically a recessive one. That is my second gender. I've never felt troubled with my second gender before like other omegas. I've been in such a protective and loving family. My mother always sheltered me with a lot of loving and care. My father was always there to protect and guide me. I also have two incredible older brothers. They're twins, yet they watch and love me in their own way. I also have my reliable beta best friend. He's my partner in crime, and I'm so thankful to him. Like I'd said, I never felt troubled about my second gender, but that was before I've met my 'fated mate'. The person who was sent by God to love me. And... my fated mate was really unexpected. Because even before I found out that he's my mate... he's already part of my life.

Warning… Matured content!! "You," Augustine began, his voice firm and direct. "I'm making you an offer: we get married, immediately. This isn't a request, it's a demand." Augustine's uttered with a piercing gaze. Charles scoffed. “What type of bullshit is that?” He fired back. *** Augustine Wales is a cold CEO who is known as the most successful and influential business man in Country H. His name alone commanded respect, his steely gaze and cold demeanor strike fear into even the most hardened of hearts. He was a man of few words, each syllable weighted with the power of his position. On the eve of Augustine Wales 29th birthday, he received an unexpected call from his family, their demands clear and uncompromising: find a spouse, or forfeit your stake in the family's vast wealth and influence. In that very moment after receiving the phone call, the gaze of Augustine fell upon a young man named Charles Donald and without thinking twice, Augustine immediately made a proposal to Charles, but was met with a swift rejection. Augustine's proposal was rooted in desperation but little did he know that fate was drawing him toward a future he never could have predicted. "What will happen when Augustine Wales, the powerful CEO, finds himself unexpectedly falling for Charles Donald, a humble cleaner in his office?" "When Charles' deadly secrets rise to the surface, will their fragile bond shatter, or will their love prove strong enough to weather the storm?"

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e

[COMPLETED] ---------- "For ten years, I have loved you in vain. Now, my love has withered." Liliana Xin was treated like wallpaper in her four years of marriage with her CEO husband Asher Shen, despite her best efforts to build a happy home. She thought she could endure his neglect, but when a miscarriage got her nothing but a cold shoulder from her husband, Liliana decided enough was enough! "Divorce me this instant." What's the use of wallowing in self-pity? Shouldn't she be her own boss and lead a life without begging for a man's love anymore? It was time for her to squeeze out massive alimony from this apathetic man and leave to become a successful woman on her own! On her healing journey, Liliana crossed paths with Lucas Liu. The younger man had the same forlorn look in his eyes, reminding Liliana of her misery. "Join me. I'll make you more powerful." She promised, wanting to save him to repay him for his kindness. He was there for her at her lowest. With Lucas and her friends, Liliana continued moving forward. She didn't look back at the people who had never cherished her. They were no longer important to her. But there's someone that wasn't happy with this new development. Asher reappeared, his frosty cold mask was replaced with deep regret and longing. "I was wrong. Please, come back! I'll do anything!" Liliana scoffed, turning her back on her first love. She won't repeat the same mistake of loving him ever again. ------------ WSA 2023 Entry: Billionaire/CEO/Mafia Exclusive cover by @khaizusan (Instagram) Tags: slowburn, weaktostrong, boss-subordinate, divorce Please note that the characters are not OP from the start. They will undergo character development and even make good/bad decisions during the period.

Patron, we did not have the money but. A man lifts his face towards us and I see the most beautiful man in my life. But in his dark gaze, we can see anger: - Band of incapable you let him escape? You have to bring me his head. She must give me back my money! - She gave us her daughter in compensation. - Where's it? He pulls me behind them to show me the gentleman. He looks at me carefully. I lower my head, because his gaze is very intimidating. What will he do with me? Why did my mother give it as an object? I should have run away from my home when I had the opportunity. What will I get now? For months I suffer his assaults, for months, I take it upon myself. But, there, I can't take it anymore, I run away, if not, he will kill me because I am pregnant and no woman should have her child! I want to protect my life and that of my child. But, he ends up finding me .....

Sofia, reeling from her fiancé Julian's infidelity with her step-sister Rachel, finds herself lost and heartbroken. In a whiskey-fueled night, she crosses paths with Liam, a mysterious and enigmatic figure from her past. As Sofia navigates her shattered heart, she awakens in Liam's estate, surrounded by memories of their complicated past. Regret and introspection overwhelm her as she realizes her mistakes and the depth of Liam's devotion. With a newfound understanding, Sofia seeks redemption and a second chance. But Liam's hurt feelings and guarded heart pose significant obstacles. Can Sofia make amends and reclaim their lost love, or will the scars of her past prove insurmountable?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aurora who has just been confessed by Noel tells him that she is actually in love with his brother. Noel at shock tells her to forget what he just said. But did she make the right choice to love Roberto. Later she found out the betrayal done by him but it is too late as she loses her life moments later. Somehow she is not dead but actually back in time. She came back a few days before Noel's confession. Who will she choose now.

The book titled "My Life Journey with Him" is a compelling autobiographical account that chronicles the author's personal odyssey through the ups and downs of life alongside a significant other. This heartfelt narrative delves into the joys and challenges of a shared existence, offering readers a glimpse into the intricacies of love, companionship, and the profound impact one person can have on another's life. The book explores themes of resilience, growth, and the transformative power of human connections. Through a rich tapestry of anecdotes, emotions, and introspection, "My Life Journey with Him" invites readers to reflect on their own life journeys and the relationships that shape them. It is a poignant testament to the enduring power of love and the shared experiences that define us as individuals.

He finally finds his debut group, too bad one of the members his a previous one night stand. After a few years of trying to make the group a success they will need to race against the clock to finally become a success or disband the group. Will they put the group in jeopardy by acting upon there impulsive feelings？

I’ve always thought it was easy to speak your mind with the person that you love… but here I was writing notes of him.. because no matter how many words could ever explain how ‘he made me feel’.

A one night stand was supposed to be just that-one night. No strings,no complications. But for Ellis Arroyo, that night marks the beginning of something he never saw coming. As a bartender in Miami, Ellis is used to charming customers but nothing could have prepared him for Alexander 'Alex' Del Montiez - the cold, ruthless heir to one of the most powerful Mafia families. Their night together should have ended at sunrise,but Alex doesn't let go of things he wants and right now,he wants Ellis- body, heart and soul. What starts as a fiery passion soon turned into something darker.Alex is possessive, controlling and terrifyingly intense. He's world is dangerous, filled with secrets, violence and power struggles that threaten to swallow Ellis whole. And yet against all he's his logic, Ellis can't seem to stay away. William "Willy" Del Montiez - Alex's older brother - has spent years hiding he's feelings for Ellis. Unlike Alex,Willy is warm,steady and everything Ellis should want. But choosing him would mean betraying the most feared man in Miami - his own brother. Then there's Rodrigo Gonzalez - cunning, lethal and utterly obsessed,the Cartel leader has never forgiven Alex for taking Ellis away from him now he's back to claim what he believes is his no matter the cost. Ellis never wanted be caught in the middle of a war between dangerous men but it's too late to run.Love, obsession and power collide in a deadly game where the price is he's heart or maybe he's life. Find out in this thrilling story- DESIRED BY MANY: OWNED BY HIM

voice: I know if I'm with them I'd bring them nothing but pain, so I push them away with the mindset of protecting them but then they make me feel like; I'm been selfish and I'm the bad one, but I don't fell guilty, like i don't even care anymore, because I've already become what i am, what's done is done, I'm where i am and it's what it's even though it still hurts.

How can you tell when you've fallen for someone? Is there a sign that can be seen or will you just feel it on your own? What if you suddenly fall for someone unexpectedly? What will you do?

Gu Shan, once a revered and talented cultivator of the Nine Heavens, was banished to low-level worlds, deprived from his immortality with a relentless curse. His crime? he just saw the face of one and only precious disciple of the Celestial Emperor. He was then trapped in an endless cycle of rebirth. To end this, he needed to accumulate massive good karmic points. The mission was designed to be impossible for a mortal to achieve. Despite this, Gu Shan did not give up and devises what he believed to be a foolproof plan. However, he failed in the end. The required karmic points is just a pretense. "Screw you Celestial Emperor! If you want to play dirty, I'll take you head on!" In that moment, Gu Shan will thrive a path that even the Nine Heavens has never been heard of.

❝Why do I feel like I’ve known you for a lifetime... when I can't remember a thing about you?❞ Princess Seraphina is dying. Her once-bright future is eclipsed by a mysterious illness no healer, spell, or remedy can cure. As her strength fades, so does the fragile hope of her kingdom, Arundelle. Everything changes when a nameless man with no memories is brought to the palace. Taken in as a servant, his presence unsettles the rigid order of Seraphina’s world. There’s something about him—something ancient and powerful, inexplicably tied to her own fate. As their lives intertwine, forbidden love blooms, defying her royal duty and his humble station. But with dark forces closing in and time slipping away, Seraphina must choose: risk her heart and her kingdom for a chance at salvation, or let the secrets tear them apart.

Kalypso "Kali" Brunn was searching. He was trying to find someone he once knew well, someone he'd lost without even realizing. Kali needed the man who could wholeheartedly love himself and the company of others yet live happily, even alone. That someone wouldn't need another leading their life, completely shaping every thought he had, each action he performed, and the emotions he'd felt. He simply had to see that man's lost smile once more, a smile so true and pure, and he believed the Black Manor was the best place to look. It was the perfect home for Kali to find himself again. A peaceful, private, and honest(deceptively so) abode for him to relax and heal in. It seemingly had the most perfect conditions. The only downside of the new arrangement would be that he's yet to shake off his loneliness. He's determined to get along with his new housemates, but it's proven to be hard, especially as half of them blatantly ignore him and the other half downright hate his mere presence. But who's to say the future won't change? Perhaps his clumsy, self-deprecating ways will finally garner him some much-needed attention. Maybe they'll see just how much he needs someone to stand by him, even if he happens to claim otherwise for pride's sake... Or suppose they could continue to ignore him until he stays forever stuck in his regrettable past. Kali doesn't want to think about the 'scumbag' he ran away from or the friends that hurt him. They didn't deserve his tears any more than he deserved the emotional turmoil he'd suffered through.

This I'd be on two boys love each other but they don't know they really love each other

"LOVE TRIANGLE" ---????? Taglish [IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND TAGALOG, PLEASE COMMENT BELOW SO THAT I CAN HELP YOU.] Do you believe in haters to lovers? that the person that you hate the most is the one you will be in love with. Because This story is all about how Weslie fell in love with Aeron despite how she hates him and how did Aeron make him fall in love with her. The main characters : Aeron - Mr. Feeling (The richest boy) Westlie - Ms. Manhid (The simple girl) Klara - magiging ex-girlfriend of Aeron Andro - magiging kaagawan ni aeron kay westlie The other characters : Lhora - westlie's best friend ( the supportive bf) Khalix - bf of therese (magiging close friends nila westlie and aeron) Therese - gf of khalix (magiging close nila westlie and aeron)

Omer has a knack for finding humor in the most unexpected places. From his witty comebacks to his lighthearted pranks, Omer's life is a whirlwind of laughter and surprises. But behind his sharp sense of humor lies a deeper story—one of resilience, self-discovery, and connection. "Joke With Omer" is a heartwarming tale that weaves comedy with moments of introspection, as Omer navigates the ups and downs of friendship, love, and the challenges that life throws his way. This book invites readers to see the world through Omer's unique lens, where every situation holds the potential for a laugh and a lesson. Whether it's turning everyday chaos into comedy or uncovering joy in the darkest moments, "Joke With Omer" is a celebration of the healing power of humor and the importance of never taking life too seriously.

"I married you," He whispers and nuzzles into my neck, "No one has the right to insult or humiliate the woman I chose to be my wife..." "Even if she cannot wait for your throne built on bones to crumble down?" I retorted sharply and tore my gaze from the body lying inches away from us. "Even if she is about to shove a dagger in my heart." My eyes widen and the dagger within my grasp collides with the ground. George grins. ----- Anastasia is betrothed to the King of Keyes in her sister’s place from one day to the next, and she may not know a lot about life, but she knows she does not want to be a wife - much less a Queen in waiting. And not to the man who murdered her father in cold blood. She is set to make him pay for everything, watch his castle of blood crumble down, and enjoy it all while she's at it; but it's a good thing all he wants is to take her heart and then take her to bed.