Crude Jokes

Suddenly transported to ancient times, struggling to even get enough to eat? What’s this? Men are dwindling due to war, and the government assigns me a beautiful wife with orders to have a child by next year? And now, foreign invaders are threatening the heartland? No problem! Mastering math, physics, and chemistry means I can thrive anywhere! The unstoppable cavalry of the steppes? The indestructible warships of the pirates? A joke! With knowledge as my weapon, I’ll turn the tide and reshape history!

Many people wish to escape this boring life, or rather, everyone does. I was no different. But back then, I hadn’t been summoned to another world. It didn’t take long for us to realize that this place was a true hell. Covered in blood, Avinash screamed, “One day, I’ll have them all beneath my feet!” Hero? What a joke.

A kidnapping shattered Sophia Diaz's innocence; the wealthy heiress who once dreamed of becoming a pastry chef never imagined she would fall into the hands of a demon who would change her world forever. Capone, who grew up amidst life-and-death shootouts, considered love a luxury and a joke. She was a toy for his amusement and a tool for his revenge, yet she unleashed a storm of bloodshed throughout his Mafia empire. With a simple deal, she finally won her freedom, believing their paths would never cross again. But he reappeared like a ghost, crashing her wedding, tearing her dress to shreds and destroying everything. Separated by gratitude, resentment and deep-seated enmity, he watched her disappear into the vast sea with his own eyes...

Mr. Fu of Harbor City positions himself with one foot in Harbor City and the other in Macau City, capable of manipulating situations with just his hands. Harbor City's gossip tabloids exposed that Mr. Fu has a secret wife. Known for his romantic involvements, Mr. Fu has liaisons with beauty pageant winners, models, and socialites. The entire Harbor City jokes about how his wife would be kicked out of the Fu family by any means necessary. In the first year, an unprecedented snowfall in June took over Harbor City, dubbed by the press as a grand gesture from the boss to make his wife smile. The second year, the press captured Mr. Fu arguing with his wife in the streets looking upset. People speculated their relationship was nearing its end. However, the next day, he was seen clinging to his wife's legs, crying, fussing, and showing affection. The third year, rumors were rampant that Mr. Fu and his wife had been living separately for six months, and a divorce was imminent. Soon after, a major announcement from the Fu family shocked the city. Mr. Fu was delighted by the birth of a precious son. While everyone congratulated him, Mr. Fu's expression was gloomy: not having embraced one for three years, he realized he was duped!

Banri Takasawa, a cheerful student who loves joking around, secretly harbors feelings for Alya, a beautiful girl in his class who is shy, elegant, and has a tsundere side. Despite Alya’s reputation for keeping her distance from others, Banri refuses to give up on getting closer to her. Through brief conversations and discussions about Alya’s favorite books, Banri gradually begins to understand Alya’s calm yet mysterious world. Will his efforts to win Alya’s heart bear sweet fruit, or will they instead make Banri realize the boundaries between affection and reality?

Pure instinct to aid the weak. A noble impulse, right? My 'sin,' or perhaps my supreme stupidity, was trying to save a woman and her daughter from a brutal death. In the heat of the skirmish, a moment of carelessness cost me a gunshot. And then, the ironic confirmation of an old suspicion: the God of this world finds amusement in fallen heroes. Just as the darkness was claiming me, a strange phenomenon tore me from its jaws... only to throw me into the body of a noble baby, a child born with privileges, yes, but also with a curse. Lucien Whiteheart, his parents' fifth attempt at having an heir, was a doomed body. A grotesque curse denied them descendants, and now, I, a trapped soul, faced a premature death at the hands of enemies I never provoked. A blessing or a cruel joke of fate? I’ll find out, if I survive.

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Sage, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Oh, before I forget, soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

[Ding! You get 1 Stone Block!] [Ding! You get 1 Dirt Block!] Bob the builder! Oop sorry cannot anger the copyright God on summary alone. Ben is a great uncle…. Yes he was living a poor photographer for daily news paper named…. Okay this gonna make the God angry, let’s try again. Ben is your average construction worker, one day he suddenly find himself surrounded by darkness. He was confused how he found himself in here, but a system screen appear in his eyes. [Congratulations you have been choosen as a Crafter] [You get 1 Blockify PickaAxe] [You get 1 crude dimensional pocket]

In the quiet corners of a bustling city, where cobblestone streets intersect and cultures collide, we found each other. My of sun-kissed olive skin, and he, with eyes that held galaxies within their depths. Our love story unfolded like a tapestry, woven from threads of diverse traditions. We laughed echoing through the shop. He whispered sweet nothings in his English language, my dear you have a big head, people with big heads can get away with murder, when he wanted to buy me a hat, it was wintertime, people at the shop looked at us with despair, like how could he talk to her like that. But I replied in his language a laughter we realised the beauty of our differences... The love was unique and palpable, genuine. we called each other by our nick names. Our love was a passport, a ticket to explore uncharted territories. www.Colpot.co.uk When misunderstandings arose, we navigated the labyrinth of miscommunication with patience. His English demeanor, was appealing we laughed, we shared the same jokes knowing that love spoke a universal language of course English, We took walks, and travelled to watch movies . went shopping eyes glared our Love was the richness of diversity. Giggled like children, in a playground, we were mates. For us was not just a love story; that we celebrated our humanity' we had a place where cultures entwined, and love knew no boundaries. Bought him a police badge exactly like the ones for the children.

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e

What happens when an ordinary guy finds himself in the most extraordinary position? Meet Jake, a laid-back underachiever who suddenly wakes up in the body of the President of a quirky, chaotic nation! With a cabinet full of oddball advisors, a nation on the brink of hilarity, and a series of outrageous events spiraling out of control, Jake must navigate the treacherous waters of politics, diplomacy, and, of course, the constant barrage of memes. Armed with nothing but his offbeat sense of humor and a knack for bizarre solutions, Jake dives headfirst into a whirlwind of diplomatic disasters, celebrity antics, and mind-boggling conspiracies. As he tries to juggle international crises with a series of laugh-out-loud moments, he quickly discovers that leading a country is no joke—especially when his predecessors left behind a mountain of absurd problems.

In a brutal, Apocalyptic world ruled by gods and monsters, a young man awakens in the arms of a fearsome War Mother A tall Female warrior bred from the rage of the war god himself. Naked, disoriented, and barely alive with his organs hanging out, he quickly learns that her mercy is as terrifying as her wrath. Rescued and pieced together by her crude hands, he struggles to understand why she spared him, especially when War Mothers are known for their savagery and their penchant for grinding their enemies to dust.

Darren King is as crude as they come. A tribrid - part vampire, part werewolf, part witch and bathed in angel blood. Protector of the Trifrom. War hero. First and last of his kind. And only through his progeny can there be hybrids. But he has a problem. He is bound to the Blood Moon, limiting his options of wives to the royal bloodline. Although respected in the vampire and werewolf clans, he won't be given worthy "vessels" (wives). And as the witches have ostracised him, he's running out of time. In a dark corner, demons have begun to appear, scheming to resurrect their fallen king. While Darren runs against a thousand-year-old curse, dangers are lurking for his new family. Will he be able to protect the world again, saving humans from dangers they have long forgotten? Or will he lose his family and give up on a world that never loved him?

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

I once believed I was the heroine of a modern fairytale, blessed with beauty, wealth, intelligence, and a powerful legacy. Men adored me, women envied me, and I was engaged to the most desirable man, Cole Fay. My life seemed perfect, a dream where I held the starring role. But on my eighteenth birthday, that illusion crumbled. The truth hit me hard: I wasn't the protagonist, nor even the villain or a side character. I was just cannon fodder, a disposable part of someone else's story. But when fate recognized the cruel joke of my life, I was granted a second chance. This time, I'll write my own story, living for myself. And this time . . . I will never love you again.

[On Hiatus Until March 17, 2025] I am currently stacking chapters! Little bit of a warning, the main character is shameless and crude!!! -------------------------------------------------------- When Blake Orpheus learns he's the son of the most powerful primordial god of darkness, Erebos, he must journey on a path with newly made allies to help unlock the mysteries of his birth and homeworld, but the journey will not be easy. As he enters the world of Legacies, Great Houses, Demigods and Cultivators, where even divinity is achievable, anything is possible. With all the Great Houses of this world gunning to get their hands on him, Blake must investigate the mysterious event of the Sealing and how he's connected to it. And, when demigods and cultivators start disappearing from the one place he could call safe, he'll have to be careful, especially with the forces of chaos on his scent. They would give anything to kill the heir to the throne of Darkness & Shadow. This is a dog eat dog world, where the weak gets crumpled and the strong rule supreme on thrones of gold and power. Does Blake have what it takes to reach the top and vanquish his enemies? Or will he, like so many before him, fall victim to the strong and corrupt? Only one way to find out! ----------------------------------------------------------- 35 Power Stones = 1 Chapter Extra 55 Power Stones = 4 Chapters Extra 20 Shares = 2 Chapter Extra I will post chapters twice 3-4 days a week, with a bonus chapter every other 3 Fridays! Let's try to get this in rankings, my peops, so share, read and enjoy. And please vote golden tickets and power stone, and please don't forget to send gifts if you want, thanx XD!!!

Drake was a troublemaker with a knack for bad jokes. One of them got him killed. Now, he finds himself in Atheria, a world of magic, mythical creatures, and warring Gods. Equipped with the mysterious System of Chaos—a game-like interface that grants him skills, stats, and quests—Drake must learn to survive in this dangerous new reality. But his arrival hasn't gone unnoticed. The Gods, offended by his irreverent attitude and fearful of his unique system, have marked him for death. To live peacefully (and maybe get some payback), Drake will have to embrace his chaotic nature, master his newfound powers, and challenge the very beings who rule Atheria.

Year 2177. Empyrean, the greatest VRMMO ever created, had long since changed the gaming world. One hundred floors stretched towards infinity, each a separate world teeming with nations, tribes, and countless races. Millions of players made this their second home, a realm where the sun rose and set, where seasons danced their eternal cycle, where life flowed like an endless river. The goal was simple yet impossible - find the key on each floor and ascend to the hundredth level. New players were meant to start their journey on one of the first three floors. But Kane Reed's fate was different. He stood alone on his floor, not yet comprehending the cruel joke destiny had played on him. It was only when he accepted the most basic of newbie quests - the eternal tradition of rat slaying - that he understood. [Current floors: 100]

Act II - Eternal Night: After the events of The Heaven's War, Elise descended further into the dungeon to find that there were actually more vampires in the world besides her, where Enigma, alerted by the fact that she was the owner of the dungeon, descended in haste, where she encountered the greatest joke of fate. Hate surged within Enigma's heart, for she could not believe that the girl in front of her was the spitting image of her late lover. To which Enigma, in an impulse of anger, lets herself go and kills Elise in such a way as to ensure that she will not return. It is here that Enigma remembered. She remembered her past. And all the hatred she felt towards humanity the day Elise died, to which she required a way to make them all pay for their sins, so she decided to release the "Eternal Night". Inconsistent publication in this platform. Monthly in ScribbleHub.

"A thrilling action novel infused with jokes and a touch of life lessons."

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Li Susu dies unfairly and wishes for a second chance, but fate still jokes on her. "Seriously?! Is this the second chance that I am asking for?!" She was born in a world where political struggle was the deadliest. Worst of all, she was born as the ruthless and tyrant Empress Wu Jinmai! She has no one in the world who is scary and full of political schemes. Will she be able to change her faith and live a long and happy life? What kind of sacrifices does she need to make to change her fate? "I hate you; I detest you. You're my greatest nightmare, and marrying you is like a poison that slowly kills me!" Shanguan Zu Jin suppressed his feelings for the people. He had longed for her. He wants to love and spoil her, but fate has changed her. Will his love be rekindled as the tyrant empress suddenly changes? Is there a second chance for his unrequited love, or…? Find out the answers as the story of the tyrant empress and her emperor consort begins. PS: This is purely a work of fiction. Organization, events, situations, and names are purely created by the author's imagination. Thank you.

Form an up-and-coming alchemist to the richest mage to exist, follow the journey of Seth as he walks the path paved with gold while throwing fireballs here and there. Maybe, just maybe you can get a glimpse on the Dao of wealth. Ps: This is not a cultivation novel. Ps: Don’t forget to drop a comment. Ps: Remember to like and subscribe ^-^ Ps: Just joking but do add to library.

Eren Kain was an ordinary engineer and inventor until the day the Tower of Trials appeared. A massive, otherworldly spire reaching into the heavens, the tower beckoned humanity with promises of power, wealth, and immortality—but also death. Unlike the others, Eren was forcibly bound to the Tower. No one else could enter until he began his climb, and he couldn’t leave unless he reached the top. Stripped of magic, aura, or any supernatural ability, Eren’s only advantage is his engineering genius and the technology he can smuggle in. From basic firearms to drones and exoskeletons, he uses every tool at his disposal to survive the monsters, traps, and bizarre ecosystems within the Tower. Yet even technology has its limits in a world governed by magic. As Eren climbs, he discovers the Tower isn’t just a trial but a puzzle. Its magic isn’t arbitrary—it’s systematic, a science he slowly learns to decode. However, one wrong calculation could kill him instantly, forcing him to balance experimentation with survival. He scavenges magic crystals, artifacts, and spell books, using them in crude, improvised ways to bolster his arsenal. Over time, he begins merging technology and magic, creating unique hybrid tools to overcome the increasingly insurmountable challenges. But why was Eren chosen? What secret does the Tower hold? With no escape and the weight of humanity’s fate on his shoulders, Eren must climb—not just to survive, but to unravel the truth of the Tower itself. every 50 collections I’ll give a chapter and every 20 powerstones I’ll give a chapter every 10 reviews I’ll give a chapter

Synopsis High school is supposed to be the time for first loves, but for Yuuto Kisaragi and his friends, it feels more like a battlefield. Each time they muster the courage to confess their feelings, they’re met with rejection, manipulation, or indifference. From the perfect honor student who toys with their emotions to the sweet girl-next-door who turns out to have a cruel streak, every encounter leaves another scar on their hearts. As the boys share their experiences of heartbreak, they begin to wonder: is it them, or is the world of dating rigged against them? What starts as a quest for love turns into a bitter journey of self-discovery and disillusionment. All Girls Are Scum is a raw and painfully honest story about the struggles of teenage boys trying to navigate relationships in a world where love often feels like a cruel joke.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can. 11/21/24 I only just noticed that the webnovel reader changes my formatting. I was using an extra space between paragraphs to denote a scene change. Please leave a comment if you find any confusing parts. 11/30/24 I'm going on a trip I've been planning for a while in a couple days. I will try to keep writing and publishing while I'm away, but I expect a slower pace. 12/22/24 I've had some technical and creative difficulties writing for the past few days. But I assure you, as long as people keep reading this and I don't get too many bad reviews, I will keep writing this.

Jason was normal, or as normal as he could be, but one day all that changed. A red pentagram, chanting, and sacrifice brought him to another place another world. He had been summoned, deemed a devil , and asked to grant their wishes..... He at first thought it a joke, but reality soon hit him. He was now something he couldn't wrap his head around, an entity that could be called upon to grant people their requests, but it was not all bad. With enough whit , luck , and deception he indeed fulfilled the role of a devil, thought he didn't really know if he was one.

In the world to come, making oneself at home in a virtual realm has woven itself into the fabric of the daily grind. Online games flourishing within this digital hinterland have caught on like wildfire. It's a rare soul who hasn't caught a whisper about the mighty and their terrestrial habits and hedonism. Yet now, as life in the virtual sphere - especially within these burgeoning games - gains momentum, new titans rise within this electronic escapade. One wonders, do their existences diverge from those ensconced in real-world influence? Watch the journey of our protagonist who, through a gauntlet of trials and time, has eased into a leisurely existence as one of the esteemed five lord atop a thriving metropolis, in a community of a billion players. Though obstacles and thorns of various kinds laid in his path, he overcame them all. *** The original is in Thai, and as the writer of the original, I attempted to translate it as closely as possible. I use AI to help with the initial translation and then revise it one more time, but I only managed to achieve about 80% of what I expected. Not to mention grammar, just trying to translate jokes, idioms, proverbs, etc. so that foreigners can understand is very difficult.

He who thought that he was given the punishment of being in the darkness for eternity, Was wrong   Fate played a twisted joke on him as he was dumped in the river with his coffin.   Yet he survived, but wait, where am I fuck ,an 80-foot-tall tree? Please tell me this is earth, isn't it?   Yet with lady luck, he got to know where he was and who he was. He was in the cultivation world.   So this is who I am: Fan Yu acquiring the book of knowledge. Watch how Fan Yu survives the infinity forest with his sheer determination.