Crude Jokes

[Ding! You get 1 Stone Block!] [Ding! You get 1 Dirt Block!] Bob the builder! Oop sorry cannot anger the copyright God on summary alone. Ben is a great uncle…. Yes he was living a poor photographer for daily news paper named…. Okay this gonna make the God angry, let’s try again. Ben is your average construction worker, one day he suddenly find himself surrounded by darkness. He was confused how he found himself in here, but a system screen appear in his eyes. [Congratulations you have been choosen as a Crafter] [You get 1 Blockify PickaAxe] [You get 1 crude dimensional pocket]

Little bit of a warning, the main character is shameless and crude!!! -------------------------------------------------------- When Blake Orpheus learns he's the son of the most powerful primordial god of darkness, Erebos, he must journey on a path with newly made allies to help unlock the mysteries of his birth and homeworld, but the journey will not be easy. As he enters the world of Legacies, Great Houses, Demigods and Cultivators, where even divinity is achievable, anything is possible. With all the Great Houses of this world gunning to get their hands on him, Blake must investigate the mysterious event of the Sealing and how he's connected to it. And, when demigods and cultivators start disappearing from the one place he could call safe, he'll have to be careful, especially with the forces of chaos on his scent. They would give anything to kill the heir to the throne of Darkness & Shadow. This is a dog eat dog world, where the weak gets crumpled and the strong rule supreme on thrones of gold and power. Does Blake have what it takes to reach the top and vanquish his enemies? Or will he, like so many before him, fall victim to the strong and corrupt? Only one way to find out! ----------------------------------------------------------- 35 Power Stones = 1 Chapter Extra 55 Power Stones = 4 Chapters Extra 20 Shares = 2 Chapter Extra I will post chapters twice 3-4 days a week, with a bonus chapter every other 3 Fridays! Let's try to get this in rankings, my peops, so share, read and enjoy. And please vote golden tickets and power stone, and please don't forget to send gifts if you want, thanx XD!!!

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

Ethan is the high school joke, a walking punchline for everyone in the cafeteria. Taunted and humiliated daily, his insecurities have reached a breaking point. Just when he's ready to give up on himself, he stumbles upon Loving.exe, a mysterious app that promises to create the perfect connection. Skeptical but desperate, Ethan clicks. Enter Mia: beautiful, kind, and eerily perfect. She knows Ethan’s pain, his secrets, even his enemies. But as she begins to "fix" his life, things take a dark turn. People start disappearing, strange accidents occur, and Mia's comforting words become increasingly sinister. Ethan is now trapped in a digital nightmare, unsure if Mia is his savior or the orchestrator of his doom. Will he find a way to break free from her grasp, or will her "love" consume him entirely?

From the depths of a deep and blissful slumber, Chu Yu awoke to the vague sense of someone beside her. Among four of five men that she saw sleeping around her when she awoke, one in particular, caught her eye. 'Who is he?' With his unrivaled elegance and the air of supremacy around him, he gazed upon the princess and asked, "What's wrong, Princess? Did you have a nightmare?" And with that, an uncontrollable chill rose up her spine that made her shiver despite the warmth of the room. Is it a joke? Or is it destiny?

Using substance gleaned from Subject 0, test animals seem to go into a mating frenzy. The chances of offspring seem to increase, even when the females are not in heat, before applying the chemical. Test animals have begun to show a resistance to the chemical. Higher doses are needed, but thankfully there seem to be no addicting properties to it. The only noted side effect is that all the animals tested seem to be, if you will excuse the crude term, 'horny', even when the chemical is not present. Warrants further study. The last thing we need is to overpopulate the earth. Have found a way to dilute the chemical without it loosing its properties. It was easy really; just add salt water in a mixture much like that found in sweat. Hopefully this will allay fears when human testing eventually starts.

He was as ravishingly handsome as he was ruthlessly cruel, stopping at nothing to make her his. She, burdened with her family's enormous debt, found herself pleasing him against her will in an attempt to repay the sizable debt. Just when she thought that the demon had transformed into a good man, when their feelings were running high, She discovered that their so-called love was nothing but a joke, a sham played out entirely for show. So she left the man who had marked her with scars, only to return five years later with their child. How will they face the once-loved, once-hated past? And how will he try to win back her sincere heart?

I once believed I was the heroine of a modern fairytale, blessed with beauty, wealth, intelligence, and a powerful legacy. Men adored me, women envied me, and I was engaged to the most desirable man, Cole Fay. My life seemed perfect, a dream where I held the starring role. But on my eighteenth birthday, that illusion crumbled. The truth hit me hard: I wasn't the protagonist, nor even the villain or a side character. I was just cannon fodder, a disposable part of someone else's story. But when fate recognized the cruel joke of my life, I was granted a second chance. This time, I'll write my own story, living for myself. And this time . . . I will never love you again.

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

"Where am I?" When I woke up, I found myself in a world I knew all too well—a novel I had read in my past life. But fate had played a cruel joke on me. "I'm marrying... who?" As if being reincarnated wasn't enough, I was destined to marry the story's infamous villain—a man feared for his ruthless ways. Was this punishment, or some twisted opportunity? "The villain?" Caught in a whirlwind of unexpected events, I realized that life in this world wouldn’t be easy. Yet, buried beneath the chaos and danger, there might be a chance for something unexpected—happiness, perhaps? Or heartbreak? "I'm sorry..." "Why are you sorry?" he asked, his voice carrying a hint of something I never expected—sorrow. In this tangled web of fate, can I rewrite the story, or will it rewrite me?

Wang Yang never stopped pursuing his dream of becoming a director and making movies that could amaze the world. However, the fate seemed to play a malicious joke on him. He got wrongly accused and expelled from USC. Fortunately, when God closed a door to Wang Yang, he opened a window for him. After a baby stroller hit him on the street, he began to be able to watch the movies from the future in his head! Since then, the year of 1988 was destined to be an extraordinary year. Besides the miracle written by “Titanic”, one of the most legendary directors in the 21st century was rising quietly…

A hundred-year-old ghost who had been haunting the world had become the real daughter of the Stephens family who had some mental problems. As soon as she returned to her family from the village, her fiancé immediately came to break off the engagement and chose her cousin instead. Even his cousin who was adopted to be her parents’ son had also mocked her, “I’m sorry that I have taken your place. In the Stephens family, anyone that cannot contribute will be discarded.” Just when all the other rich families were waiting for the jokes that she would make, those who were perceptive realized that she had changed. She had risen from the bottom of her class to become the top student. Anything she said would become real. Even great scientists, merchants, and martial artists chose to become her follower. Leaders of all the fields: If she’s garbage, then I’m less than garbage. Have you ever seen anyone as good as her ending up as garbage? The Si family must be blind! While she was afraid of being alone, the CEO that loved her introduced her as he stood next to her, “This is my one true love.”

A kidnapping shattered Sophia Diaz's innocence; the wealthy heiress who once dreamed of becoming a pastry chef never imagined she would fall into the hands of a demon who would change her world forever. Capone, who grew up amidst life-and-death shootouts, considered love a luxury and a joke. She was a toy for his amusement and a tool for his revenge, yet she unleashed a storm of bloodshed throughout his Mafia empire. With a simple deal, she finally won her freedom, believing their paths would never cross again. But he reappeared like a ghost, crashing her wedding, tearing her dress to shreds and destroying everything. Separated by gratitude, resentment and deep-seated enmity, he watched her disappear into the vast sea with his own eyes...

Born a rat eating orphan, Yao Qin always dreamed of power, ever since he witnessed his parents burn alive. Little did he know it would be a curse. Abducted as a child by a ghost worshiping cult and forced to undergo dark rituals, he became the anchor to the spirit of Death - the Gravewalker. Every time he dies the Gravewalker awakens him, tearing him from the jaws of oblivion. Immortality or a cruel joke? To die on a battlefield a thousand times in a single day, what blessing is there in that? Join Yao Qin in uncovering the secrets of this dark entity, his revenge against the cult - against the heavens themselves, and conquering death.

Li Susu dies unfairly and wishes for a second chance, but fate still jokes on her. "Seriously?! Is this the second chance that I am asking for?!" She was born in a world where political struggle was the deadliest. Worst of all, she was born as the ruthless and tyrant Empress Wu Jinmai! She has no one in the world who is scary and full of political schemes. Will she be able to change her faith and live a long and happy life? What kind of sacrifices does she need to make to change her fate? "I hate you; I detest you. You're my greatest nightmare, and marrying you is like a poison that slowly kills me!" Shanguan Zu Jin suppressed his feelings for the people. He had longed for her. He wants to love and spoil her, but fate has changed her. Will his love be rekindled as the tyrant empress suddenly changes? Is there a second chance for his unrequited love, or…? Find out the answers as the story of the tyrant empress and her emperor consort begins. PS: This is purely a work of fiction. Organization, events, situations, and names are purely created by the author's imagination. Thank you.

They called me The Whisperer. A joke. A mockery. The boy with the weakest magic just because I was a farmer. I was powerless when they came. I watched as my father and my mother was slaughtered. My village was burned to ashes, and the man in the black robe vanished, leaving nothing but blood and unanswered questions. All I had left was my infant sister and the faint spark of magic they all ridiculed. But even a whisper can grow into a storm. Now, I walk the path alone. My weak magic will become their weakness. I will make them hear the screams they left behind, feel the pain they inflicted, and drown in the vengeance they thought they escaped. They thought I was nothing. They were wrong. I will rise, and the last thing they’ll ever hear… is a whisper.

Darren King is as crude as they come. A tribrid - part vampire, part werewolf, part witch and bathed in angel blood. Protector of the Trifrom. War hero. First and last of his kind. And only through his progeny can there be hybrids. But he has a problem. He is bound to the Blood Moon, limiting his options of wives to the royal bloodline. Although respected in the vampire and werewolf clans, he won't be given worthy "vessels" (wives). And as the witches have ostracised him, he's running out of time. In a dark corner, demons have begun to appear, scheming to resurrect their fallen king. While Darren runs against a thousand-year-old curse, dangers are lurking for his new family. Will he be able to protect the world again, saving humans from dangers they have long forgotten? Or will he lose his family and give up on a world that never loved him?

This is a short story. It's also free and complete. **** On the day of our mating ceremony, Alpha Joseph promised to mark me and marry me, but he was out setting off the most dazzling fireworks for his childhood sweetheart. A passerby captured the moment on video and quickly uploaded it online, where it went viral, garnering an endless stream of views from pack members. His friends joked about me, asking, "What do you think about this?" I replied indifferently, "I just watched it. What else could I do?" The video spread like wildfire online, with the comment section filled with praise for them as a perfect match. "Our future Luna is so beautiful," filled the comments. As I listened to the joyful laughter and the fireworks in the video, the feast in front of me only made my heart sink deeper.

Do deities play practical jokes on mortals? My new life in a new world is gratifying, so far, but I can't help but wonder why. There are no men and these women are ridiculous. One all-female race after another, in this part of the world, at least. Amazons, Elves, and Fairies; each with strange quirks and bizarre personalities. I keep collecting more of them as I try to carve out a place for myself in this world. Author's Notes: I intend this to be a lighthearted comedy, as well as a fun and intriguing power fantasy. I won't write anything disturbing, and I will make it as funny as I can. 11/21/24 I only just noticed that the webnovel reader changes my formatting. I was using an extra space between paragraphs to denote a scene change. Please leave a comment if you find any confusing parts. 11/30/24 I'm going on a trip I've been planning for a while in a couple days. I will try to keep writing and publishing while I'm away, but I expect a slower pace. 12/22/24 I've had some technical and creative difficulties writing for the past few days. But I assure you, as long as people keep reading this and I don't get too many bad reviews, I will keep writing this.

[A god is a paradox.] This is the theme of the novel, [Hero's Downfall], which Arcine wrote for funsies and laughs. The novel was a piece of satire as glorious as it was horrendous, with shallow characters, petty squabbles, and black-and-white villains and heroes. There was no depth whatsoever. And yet people kept reading until the very end, bound by the idea that the entire novel was a big joke. Life would make a similar joke on our trash author Arcine. Plagued by three different types of cancer, paralyzed from the waist down, and suffering from severe mental degradation at a young age, it was as if everything he had written was being thrown back at him. His suffering would continue even after his death. In a new life. Inside his garbage-tier novel.

Artie had lived her whole life feeling like a joke. Whether it came to her full name, her parents ‘abandoning’ her and her next door neighbours taking her in, or finding out that her lover was part of a cult and was cheating on her. Said lover then stabbed her. It felt like she just couldn’t catch a break. So when she found herself in a puddle of her own blood, staring up at a fake painted sky, she could only find humour in the situation, and prayed that the next life was kinder. Only she woke up. In the same body, with the same stab wound, only in a world full of magic, swords, and a dead King Arthur? Yup. The round table existed, the knights existed, and so did everyone of legend that she’d heard about as a child. Only it was the beginning of their tales. Nothing had happened yet, except the formation of Camelot, the crowning of the King, and then the sudden death of the King of Legend, King Arthur Pendragon. She would have thought this was another cruel joke if everyone wasn’t wandering around in mourning clothes. If this was a practical joke, it wasn’t a very funny one. Artie was tired. She’d already spent almost a decade working as a police officer, and then a detective, so she felt like she had earned her peace. Especially after all the shit she’d been put through, but someone had different plans. And Artie’s life wasn’t quite done yet. In fact, it seemed like in the eyes of the creatures of this world, this was where she was always meant to be. The time she spent getting her ass handed to her in the other dimension? Just a warm up. And now she was expected to just…go along with what everyone else wanted her to do? Including magical beings who were responsible for taking her from one dimension to another. Artie felt like she was in over her head, even if there were several concerned, attractive knights around her. She wasn’t sure if she was going to run away from all the new responsibilities, or embrace them. She wasn’t a rule breaker by nature, but maybe now was the time to change?

A loser named Arthur entered his final year of high school as the same loser he always was. Living a mediocre existence, he spends his days the butt of many jokes and an invisible loser to most. After falling ill with a mysterious sickness, he meets a girl named Anya who will soon change the course of his life forever. Arthur's life would soon turn upside down as he goes down the path of power and authority in a supernatural inverted world. [Ding!] [You have been chosen as the 'Dark King's Heir' after discovering a fragment!] [You are far too weak to absorb his full power.] [Find the rest of the Dark King's power fragments to attain the title of 'Dark King'.] [The system shall help turn you into a man befitting the Dark King's power!] *** Disclaimer: This will not be a leveling-type system. The system is more or less a guide in a way with other elements. (So no he won't be OP right off the bat) Other than that, I hope you enjoy it. (if you do choose to read this.) Also, It's my first time trying to write a story, so the first set of chapters may be trash and boring.

This is a story about Herald Silver. He just finished his graduation from military basic training and is now in his tech school to learn his job better. His job being a recon specialist for dangerous areas. He is doing daily drills when all hell breaks loose. A swirling vortex that arcing lightning start to open in the center of the base. Everyone in stunned silence has horrible screeching comes from the vortex and a host of small green creatures come swarming out wielding crude weapons. This story based in a modern time setting at the start of High fantasy hitting the modern in a very survive or die way. This is not Earth; this is a world named Ellion that did similar steps to Earth to reach this point in their technology with dozens of different nations that have vastly different cultures. First Page will cover the world and power systems. (Authors remarks to readers. I am a honest person I wish to say. So, I like to say that I am doing this more as a hobby than as any source of income. So I will be posting this book on my own time so I will try my best to get at least one chapter out a week, but if your here for a work that rapidly churns out content for you to enjoy, I kindly ask you to come back another time. Also I am very new author, and this is me experimenting with writing styles as well. I might go first person one chapter and all third person the next. This is all new to me but a passion I want to get into. So be critical of any mistakes I make so I can correct them for the future. I hope you enjoy my work. P.S. As for the r18 tag, I not sure if I going to do that kind of stuff or not yet. However, I wanted to leave the option open for me in the future.)

Ji Hoon is a handsome young man with a towering height, a stern face with a sharp jawline, but often adorned with an ignorant smile that makes him look humorous and relaxed. His eyes are sharp, but they never look scary - instead, they exude confidence. His appearance is neat and well-groomed, reflecting his family's upper-class status. At school, Ji Hoon is known to be popular, humorous, and often makes the atmosphere lively with his jokes or sometimes annoying behavior. However, underneath his laid-back demeanor, he has a caring side that is rarely seen by others. Soo Jin is a simple girl with an ordinary appearance, even inconspicuous. Her hair is long but often looks frizzy, as if it's rarely taken care of properly. Her face is actually sweet, but is often hidden behind a hesitant and nervous expression. Her body is slightly thin, reflecting her life of struggle. Soo Jin is not the type of girl who easily attracts attention, but behind her simplicity, she is someone who has a strong heart and a great sense of responsibility, especially towards her family.

He who thought that he was given the punishment of being in the darkness for eternity, Was wrong   Fate played a twisted joke on him as he was dumped in the river with his coffin.   Yet he survived, but wait, where am I fuck ,an 80-foot-tall tree? Please tell me this is earth, isn't it?   Yet with lady luck, he got to know where he was and who he was. He was in the cultivation world.   So this is who I am: Fan Yu acquiring the book of knowledge. Watch how Fan Yu survives the infinity forest with his sheer determination.

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

The Earth as you know it is over. Mysterious beings called Spirits are looking for their Emissaries. You can trust no one in this apocalyptic world. Anything can happen at anytime. Laws of Physics are a joke now. Can our heroes survive and uncover the secrets of the universe?

Yin Xinya’s death was such a cosmic joke that he got a second chance to do it again. In the past, his life and death were a tragic mess, but he swears this time everything will change. Watch as Xinya becomes the most coveted person in Haven Online. [Why are you learning cooking? It's a waste of skill points.] [Your learning potions?! Are you daft? There's no point in doing that.] [Why did you pick that trash class? You will never make it in this game.] Xinya ignored everyone. With a knowing smile, he paid them no mind because he knew they would eat their words soon.

Kazuo Tanaka, an ordinary high school student, meets a bizarre fate: after an accident involving laxatives, a yakuza, and a truck, he dies and meets a beautiful but mocking goddess. She gives him a weird power as a joke: he can level up by pooping. Reborn as a kid in a magical world, Kazuo now Andreas, is the only one with this power, tries to turn this embarrassing ability into his superpower.

Complete Title: "The Supreme Divine Hero of Total Destruction, Infinite Love, Unstoppable Justice and Countless Powers in a World of Limitless Magic, with Interdimensional Harem, Impossible Achievements and Destiny Breaking the Laws of Reality!!!" Searching for revenge after being humiliated by those around him... But, is this novel really about Haruto Tanaka? Are those whom he judges as scum, what he thinks? Made by CoolWriterLOL (FYI: This is a VERY serious novel, I am NOT doing it for the joke.)