Ironing Jokes

In a dark night a skinny male walks out of a house shaking with iron armor on and a long diamond sword he walked forward and began scavenging with a torch in his left hand his with people in black robes with crossbows in their hands and a banner with a weird symbol in it follow this man closely i watched intently as i reported it to a gang located in a warehouse.

What if your life ended, but history was just beginning? Alexander, an ordinary man from the modern world, finds himself thrown into the brutal era of Kievan Rus. He is now a young prince of Kievan Rus', the last hope of a land torn apart by intrigues and enemies. He understood that every decision was a risk. Every mistake was a step toward collapse. To survive, he must turn his weakness into strength and his lands into a mighty fortress. In the end, the winner is not the one who triumphs but the one who manages to survive.

‘I must entertain the masses.’ This was Jester’s lifelong goal. After leading 12 different lives as a Hero, King, Sage, Jester, and more, all he wanted was to mock the king and his court. Unfortunately for him, his majesty didn’t appreciate his vicious jokes. Jester died, trying to flee for his life. But death wasn’t the end for him. For his 13th and last life, he triggered the Archetype System and reincarnated in a world of magic and perils. [This is your last life. Don’t waste it!] [Welcome to the world of Archetypes!] Soon, players from Earth would flood into his new world. But even players won't escape from his clutches! Even people from the Earth will be tamed!

Many people wish to escape this boring life, or rather, everyone does. I was no different. But back then, I hadn’t been summoned to another world. It didn’t take long for us to realize that this place was a true hell. Covered in blood, Avinash screamed, “One day, I’ll have them all beneath my feet!” Hero? What a joke.

21 century Wall Street financial analyst Victoria Clarke travels to the American South in 1861 in a car accident and becomes the infamous widow Eleanor Van der Lyn-a serpentine woman recorded in history as having been “hanged by the neck on the eve of the inauguration of Abraham Lincoln for treason”. Lincoln on the eve of his inauguration for treason”. She looks in the mirror at her original character's flaming lips and waist, and sneers, “A villain? No, I'll make both the North and South kneel and tremble under my skirt!” Clutching the mysterious diary left behind by the original owner in her left hand (which records the dirty dealings between the Southern aristocrats and the Northern politicians), and carrying the three mysterious “adopted sons” in her right hand (which are actually the artificial war machines in the Southern secret laboratories), Eleanor kicked away Alexander Hawthorne, the plantation owner who tries to control her by marriage, and threw the champagne into her hand, and then kicked her out of the room. Hawthorne, who pours champagne on a slave-state legislator's marriage agreement: “I have only two rules for parenting: teach my children to level slave estates with dynamite, and teach them to turn Northern generals with love letters.” --When the New York Times ridiculed her as a “slut stirring up the war through nepotism,” she took her adopted children to burn cotton fields live and force Lincoln to sign the Early Emancipation Proclamation; when Northern spies kidnapped her children, she backhandedly exposed the gold smuggling chain between General Grant and the Bank of the South, which was featured in the Washington Post. When Northern spies kidnapped her children, she backhandedly exposed the gold smuggling chain between General Grant and the Bank of the South, making headlines in the Washington Post: “Thanks to the arms sent by the enemy, I am now the first female arms dealer and interim Secretary of State of the United States of America.

Heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating with his colleague on Valentine's Day, Anya impulsively proposes to a stranger in a fit of rage. The stranger, a charming and enigmatic man, accepts her proposal without hesitation. As Anya grapples with the consequences of her impulsive decision, she discovers that her "husband" is not just a random passerby, but someone with a mysterious and powerful connection to her life. He's not just a stranger; he's her boyfriend's boss, a man known for his wealth and influence, but who has kept his true identity hidden from Anya. Now, trapped in a web of lies and deceit, Anya must navigate the treacherous waters of her unexpected marriage while uncovering the truth about her "husband" and his hidden agenda.

Tom. A friend. Not a foe. A friend. (made for an inside joke)

In the world of Aetheria, there is one name that is feared by all. Yet, he is known more for his title, the Demon General. Whether it’s Gods or Demons, no beings dare to oppose his authority. He ruled Aetheria with an iron hand. Cities are destroyed on his whim. Countries are razed at his displeasure. This is the tale of his rise to power. This is the tale of his rise to Godhood. This is the tale of the rise of the Demon General.

Four hundred years ago, the inhabitants of Thas Summoned warriors from other worlds to take down a Demon King. Thasnians and Terrans fought side by side, eventually sealing him. In the current day, Tas prepares for the centennial visit of Bolat. But the time is coming for the seal to expire. Summoning is now illegal. Tas must raise its own warriors to fight. But first the governments of the world must admit there is any danger at all.

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

Karl Wagner is a disgruntled middle-aged instructor at the Bundeswehr Command and Staff College. He finds himself concerned about the direction which the German nation is headed in—just as he is killed by a terrorist attack. Only to awaken and find himself reborn as an infant, Bruno von Zehntner, the youngest son of a noble family renowned for its part in the German war industry a few years after the founding of the German Empire. Bruno, as he is now known, desires to rewrite history and ensure the German Empire emerges victorious in the coming century. And in doing so, finds himself entrenched in a world filled with Blood and Iron!

Centuries ago, the Empire was the beacon of civilization, a colossus of power and prosperity. But 560 years after its founding, its decline is inevitable. Corruption has taken hold of its foundations, incompetent officials have led to chaos, and noble families fight among themselves for scraps of power. The emperor is a mere figurehead, and barbarian invasions and internal rebellions threaten to destroy what remains. In this world on the brink of collapse, heroes and villains emerge: some fight to save the Empire, others seek independence, and a few dream of replacing it. Who will prevail in this struggle for power? And what price will the world pay for their ambition?

Genre: Dystopian Sci-Fi Thriller Summary:In a world where genes determine destiny, society is divided into rigid classes based on genetic purity. The privileged Goldens enjoy extended lifespans and enhanced abilities, while the oppressed Irons struggle to survive. At the heart of this divided world is the Gene Vault, a secretive institution controlled by four powerful families: the Rothschilds, Rockefellers, Vistas, and Icarus Corporation.Elena, a brilliant but underprivileged Iron engineer, discovers that her daughter Lila possesses a rare genetic anomaly linked to the mysterious Red Thorn virus. This virus, created by the late genetic scientist Margaret Wu, has the power to reset genes and potentially overthrow the oppressive gene hierarchy. However, Elena's husband Jason, manipulated by the powerful families, betrays her, leading to Lila's capture and Elena's desperate quest to save her daughter.As Elena delves deeper into the conspiracy, she uncovers a plot to use Lila's unique genetic makeup to unlock the full potential of the Red Thorn virus. With the help of a group of rebels known as the Red Thorn Alliance, Elena must navigate a world of deceit, danger, and hidden truths. Her journey takes her from the squalor of the Iron slums to the opulent halls of the Goldens, and ultimately to the stars, as she fights to expose the dark secrets of the gene elite and bring about a new era of equality. Tagline:"Unlock the secrets of your genes, and change the fate of humanity."

Morgan Lovecraft had a problem. The world hated him for what he was, and what he could do.Saved by Duke Kinson, Morgan finds a new life in the world of Dunnishire. Orphaned as a young teenager, he finds himself in a new world where making friends was easy. That all came crashing down the day he turned sixteen and found out he not only had a death affinity, but he was also a necromancer. For a time, all necromancers were put down before they could gain levels or power.Morgan was born after that nonsense, but many of the old prejudices and hatred were still prevalent. Going from having friends to being an outcast once again, he hopes his scholarship to the Mages Academy will be a new turning point for him and a way to redeem himself.Most people think of necromancer’s as beings of great power who could raise up hordes of the undead to do their bidding. Well, yes, that part was true. But necromancers were a fantastic utility class that could be both DPS as well as some minor healing and maybe… just maybe… cast resurrections.All his planning, hopes, and dreams go out the window the first day of classes, when he is challenged to an honor duel. Making mortal enemies five minutes after walking into school? Being asked by the duchy to speak to the dead for them? Help them solve an assassination plot, corruption of public officials? Not wanting to be in the spotlight, the former Earth gamer finds himself right on center stage as he becomes The Duchy’s Necromancer!What this book is: A fantasy LitRPG GameLit progression based storyline. There are grownups in this book who act like grownups. They drink, they swear, they make bad jokes, and they fall in love. What’s not in this book? Harems. Sex scenes. Graphic or otherwise. There are plenty of jokes and innuendo about it, however.

Like any 18 year old high school student, Kim Ji-Hye was just busy struggling with expectations and exams. The biggest worries? Overbearing parents and college entrance exams. That, of course, was the case until she accidentally found herself in an unexpected circumstance that led straight into the glowing gates of death! One moment, she was zoning out on an empty school corridor. The next? She was smack in the middle of a field that was way too over dramatic with the moon lighting up the surrounding and to add to it all, questioning all her life decisions. “What the hell? Where the HELL AM I?" Before she managed to figure out whether she had been taken hostage, sedated, or was indeed deceased, the reality had another surprise in store for her. The field evaporated. She was now in a never-ending white void. “Ah right, that is just brilliant. Another case of teleportation. Is my life really that boring that I actually find this exciting?” “Why do you think so?” a deep, unbothered voice replied. Ji-Hye screamed. Floating, there in front of her was a god that was the epitome of ‘a literal god.’ “WHO ARE YOU?” The God sighed. “Welcome Ji-Hye. I do not really know how you made it here, but… yeah, this is awkward.” Ji-Hye blinked. “Am I dead?” "Is that your final guess?" "Nope." “Then where am I?” "Alternate reality." “And how did I get here?” "Because your universe's God did an ‘oopsie’ and misplaced you." “Excuse me?” Apparently, some celestial treasure named Ezekiel was supposed to keep her safely in her time screwed up so badly that she ended up in a reality she wasn’t even supposed to exist in. THANKS EZEKIEL! "So what now?" Ji-hye asked, still trying to process the fact that divine beings are capable of making stupid mistakes The god who introduced himself in a head-turning fashion as Kashigami sighed once more. “Well, I need to send you back… but the thing is, I have no clue which universe is yours. So it might take some time.” “And how long is ‘some time’?” “Perhaps 500 years.” Ji-hye’s eyes had never been so wide. “WHAT IN THE FU–” And there started the journey which I (the author) could describe in many different ways, but for Ji-hye, it was undoubtedly the most unhinged. ✨ READ NOW TO FIND OUT: ✔ How does Ji-hye handle being an anomaly? ✔ Will Kashigami ever be useful? (Spoiler: Probably not.) ✔ Will she ever return home, or is she stuck in this SPACE WARP forever? 5K VIEWS CELEBRATION! JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER https://discord.gg/9Y2KUg3e code is "Ji-hye"

Starships, Noble plotting, Corporate Schemeing, and a rather annoying buzz from the Thoraxian Swarm, and that's before breakfast is served.

"I think am in love with someone's husband," Nadia said suddenly and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

Under the rule of an iron fist a witch finds one way to overthrow the king. But do the ends justify the means? TW: Cannibalism (Graphic), Sexual abuse (Not depicted on page), Incest, Child abandonment, Child abuse, Sexism, Poverty, Murder (Graphic), Miscarriage, Slavery, Parental death, Child death, self harm, and suicide.

In a world forever changed by Ragnarok, the release of the gods' powers has transformed the landscape, creating a place of danger, wonder, and secrets. From the ashes of the chaos, the World Government emerged, seizing control and imposing order. Its iron grip stretches across the seas, skies, and lands, while a mysterious military force upholds its rule. Yet, beneath this facade of stability lies a dark truth that the government is desperate to keep hidden.

The "Future Glimpse" app was initially a joke. A harmless trend, fueled by bored social media users and influencers looking for a quirky new angle. You’d type in your question, shake your phone, and the app, with its cheesy, swirling galaxy background, would spit out a cryptic prediction. Most were vague, almost poetic - "A journey begins with forgotten steps," or "Beware the whispers of the raven's flight." Harmless fun.

In a world reshaped by the return of gods and monsters, humanity struggles to survive. When the Great Awakening divided the world among the most powerful pantheons, the lesser gods and their lands were cast aside, forgotten and dismissed. Efe Okoro is one of the forgotten—a young man from a small Nigerian village, overlooked by a world dominated by stronger gods and champions. But when a dimensional rift opens and he finds himself marked by Ogun, the god of iron and war, Efe gains access to the Celestial Inheritance System. Armed with Ogun’s Iron Will and abilities forged in divine power, Efe must navigate a world teeming with monsters, rival champions, and gods who dismiss him as insignificant. Can Efe rise from the forgotten and carve his place in a world ruled by gods?

well i guess this is it ... wait why wont this world let me die ? is this some kind of joke ?

In the heart of Central Asia, where empires rise and fall like the shifting sands, a warrior emerges who will shape history with his sword, his strategy, and his unwavering faith. Sultan Mahmud of Ghazni—a name that would echo across centuries as both a conqueror and a patron of culture—sets out on a relentless campaign to expand his empire, challenge the mightiest rulers, and carve his place among history’s greatest kings. Mahmud, the eldest son of Sabuktigin, inherits not just his father’s kingdom but also his unyielding ambition. Born into the rugged lands of Ghazni, he learns early that power is not given; it is seized through blood, battle, and sheer will. But with great power comes great enemies—both within his court and beyond the frontiers of his realm. The story of The Iron Falcon is one of war, betrayal, loyalty, and a vision greater than one man’s thirst for conquest. The Rise of a Conqueror From the moment Mahmud ascends the throne, he faces opposition from his own family. His brother, Ismail, backed by courtly conspirators, attempts to claim the crown, igniting a bitter power struggle. But Mahmud is no ordinary ruler—his mind is as sharp as his sword. Through clever alliances and ruthless military tactics, he secures his place as the unchallenged Sultan of the Ghaznavid Empire. Yet, this victory is merely the beginning. Determined to extend his dominion, Mahmud sets his eyes on the rich lands of India, where the Hindu Shahi kings rule with immense wealth and influence. His ambition is not just territorial; he believes he has a divine mission—to spread the glory of his empire, establish Islamic governance, and secure untold treasures to strengthen his rule. The Battles That Shaped an Empire With his most trusted general, Malik Ayaz, at his side, Mahmud launches a series of daring military campaigns. His army, a formidable force of cavalry, archers, and fearless warriors, storms the strongholds of Northern India, clashing with the legendary Raja Jayapala in the Battle of Peshawar (1001 AD). The fierce resistance of the Hindu Shahi kings tests Mahmud’s strength, but his brilliant tactics and relentless pursuit of victory prove overwhelming. Yet, conquest is never simple. As Mahmud advances deeper into the subcontinent, he encounters the resilience of Raja Anandapala, who unites rival kings in a desperate bid to repel the Ghaznavid forces. The ensuing battles are fierce, with betrayals, shifting alliances, and moments of brutal warfare that define the era. Through it all, Mahmud remains steadfast—an iron falcon soaring above the battlefield, always striking with precision and power. Betrayal, Glory, and the Clash of Civilizations While Mahmud’s sword carves empires, his mind thirsts for knowledge. Unlike mere warlords, he is a patron of scholars, poets, and architects. He invites the brilliant Al-Biruni, a polymath whose wisdom transcends borders, to document the vast lands and cultures Mahmud encounters. The Persian poet Firdawsi, author of the Shahnameh, also graces his court, though their relationship takes a dark turn when Mahmud, consumed by his ambitions, fails to appreciate the poet’s genius. But amidst the grandeur of conquest and culture, danger lurks within Mahmud’s own court. His trusted advisors whisper of betrayals, his allies waver, and the political games of viziers and rival warlords threaten to destabilize his empire. Even those closest to him—loyal generals and royal confidants—begin to question the weight of his relentless campaigns. One of the most defining moments of Mahmud’s reign comes with the legendary attack on Somnath (1025 AD). The opulent temple, known for its immense wealth and religious significance, becomes the ultimate prize. To some, Mahmud is a liberator; to others, he is a plunderer. The battle for Somnath becomes not just a military conquest but a clash of civilizations, where faith, power, and destiny collide. The Legacy of the Iron Falcon

He transmigrated into the novel world and became a side character named Alpha. Here, power and status are determined by Bloodline. Ironically, Alpha is just a side character who is an ordinary human with the weakest Bloodlone. Unwilling to take reality for granted, he with information as a reader decided to take the strongest bloodline, Ethereal. But there was one problem about Ethereal that puzzled him...

The Crownless Citadel rests at the center of the Iron City, a fortress of law and order and where mercy is seen as a weakness. He is marked by duty, and perhaps detachment, justifying actions in the name of protecting this city's fragile peace. But will the truth in the shadows fracture his moral certainty? Follow along and find out. Discord:: https://discord.gg/Uw2EBTwFkT

Pure instinct to aid the weak. A noble impulse, right? My 'sin,' or perhaps my supreme stupidity, was trying to save a woman and her daughter from a brutal death. In the heat of the skirmish, a moment of carelessness cost me a gunshot. And then, the ironic confirmation of an old suspicion: the God of this world finds amusement in fallen heroes. Just as the darkness was claiming me, a strange phenomenon tore me from its jaws... only to throw me into the body of a noble baby, a child born with privileges, yes, but also with a curse. Lucien Whiteheart, his parents' fifth attempt at having an heir, was a doomed body. A grotesque curse denied them descendants, and now, I, a trapped soul, faced a premature death at the hands of enemies I never provoked. A blessing or a cruel joke of fate? I’ll find out, if I survive.

In a world divided by towering walls, society is split into four their, each layer a stark reminder of one's place in the hierarchy. From the labor-bound populace of Wall One to the wealthy aristocrats of Wall Three, every citizen's life is dictated by the rules of their tier. At the pinnacle, behind the impregnable Fourth Wall, reside the General's council of seven who wield absolute authority, overseeing the realms below with iron-fisted precision.

In the realm of Aetherion, where seven kingdoms thrive on the divine power of Aether, peace is a fragile illusion. Kaelthar, a young boy with dreams of becoming a knight to protect the innocent, grows up in a humble village under the care of his blacksmith father and loving mother. When tragedy strikes, shattering his peaceful life, Kaelthar uncovers hidden truths about his family’s legacy and the world around him. Thrust into a fractured realm on the brink of chaos, Kaelthar must rise above his humble origins to protect those he loves. Can he find the courage to confront the darkness threatening Aetherion and become the hero he’s always dreamed of?