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Zelda Farting

ILLICIT ROMANCE

Zelda Delacroix is no ordinary girl—raised in a world of affluence, power, and hidden secrets, she’s adopted into the prestigious Delacroix family, where appearances are everything and silence is survival. But beneath the surface of her new life lies a web of forbidden desire, fractured loyalties, and dangerous truths no one dares to speak. As Zelda tries to navigate university, dreams of becoming an architect, and the unrelenting expectations of the Delacroix household, she finds herself drawn to Lucien—the cold, enigmatic eldest son of the family who has always watched her from a distance. He’s off-limits, untouchable, and infuriatingly magnetic. Their connection simmers quietly, the tension growing more unbearable with each stolen glance and whispered word. But Lucien isn’t the only one watching her. The family’s secrets begin to unravel, and a forgotten brother erased from all records haunts the corners of Zelda’s life. As she digs deeper, she uncovers a dangerous conspiracy that could shatter the Delacroix name—and cost her everything. Meanwhile, rivals emerge. Marcella, a cunning girl from another elite family, pretends to befriend Zelda while scheming to steal Lucien. And Delphine Vale, a petite and seemingly harmless classmate, hides sinister intentions beneath her sweet smile. Every step Zelda takes forward is shadowed by betrayal. With her budding friendship with the genuine and free-spirited Ariyah, and the quiet support of her adoptive brothers Berrett and Ryan, Zelda tries to hold on to her sanity. But as the line between protector and possessor blurs in her relationship with Lucien, and long-buried feelings rise to the surface, Zelda must decide: Can she survive the weight of a love that was never meant to happen? And in a house built on secrets… who will burn first?
Nayah_briggs · 10K Views

Collateral Flux

Blaze of Glory A fart-propelled sniper. A time-traveling scientist with a broken hand. A sentient custard blob humming Glenn Miller. Together, they will accidentally break time, punch a god, and save existence from being edited into a bland Wikipedia entry. It starts on D-Day, 1944. Dr. Juniper Flux, a future-born, sarcasm-loaded chronologist with a glitchy time machine and a chroniton-infected arm, crash-lands smack into World War II. She’s supposed to observe quietly. Instead, she teams up with Hank Rigby — a flatulent sniper-poet with Dragonbone scars, a tragic past, and exactly zero impulse control. Together, they dodge Nazis, awaken a sentient custard blob named Yoggy, and ruin the multiverse's carefully curated silence. History gets rewritten. Gods get angry. One explodes from emotional oversaturation. Fifteen years later, the universe is broken. Entire timelines are being "shushed" by Reapers — cosmic librarians with giant scissors who hate jazz, love order, and really want everyone to just be quiet forever. Enter: the Custard Rebellion. Now, armed with a memory-firing revolver, a jazz-powered war mech, timeline tacos, and the collective trauma of an exploded pantheon, Juni, Hank, Kaelen Thorn (the last god of noise), and Yoggy must sing, scream, fart, and fight their way to the heart of the Greater — a being trying to delete every spark of emotion from reality. It’s loud. It’s messy. It’s glorious. And it smells faintly of burned tortillas and cosmic regret. [five star] “Finally, a book that combines time travel, emotional damage, jazz warfare, sentient desserts, and fart-based heroics. I laughed, I cried, I loudly declared war on the Reapers using only a kazoo. If you don’t read this, you hate fun.” Deadpool (Probably)
Ranjit_Singh_6096 · 8.4K Views

THE SYSTEM THAT COULDN'T EVEN

THE SYSTEM THAT COULDN’T EVEN A Multiversal Breakdown in 404 Chapters or Less. Imagine if a post-apocalyptic webnovel took a toaster bath during a firmware update, woke up with a pigeon on its face, and forgot how to be a story. Now imagine that’s the plot. Welcome to The System That Couldn’t Even, a glorious middle finger to every overused webnovel cliché, written like someone locked Deadpool in a library full of light novels and gave him a typewriter made of spite. Meet Dave Miller He’s not the Chosen One. He’s not an elite cultivator. He doesn't get truck-kun’d. He’s not secretly royalty, a genius, or a demon lord’s reincarnated cat. He’s just a guy. A very tired guy. And unfortunately for the multiverse, he’s the only one who won’t cooperate with the System that’s supposed to save reality. When Dave’s malfunctioning Apocalypse Survival System tries to turn his life into a power fantasy, he glitches the tutorial, flips off the narrator, and kicks the plot in the nethers. Now reality itself is unraveling. The System’s breaking. The tropes are panicking. The Librarian, an eldritch AI who keeps the narrative universe “on brand,” wants him erased. Dave? He just wants to nap and eat expired canned soup in peace. Let’s Roast the Webnovel Genre, Shall We? This novel brutally parodies: System stories where MCs gain 300 skills and zero personality Villainess reincarnation arcs with more face-slaps than brain cells "Trash family" drama where everyone hates the MC for exactly 1 chapter until he's OP Academy arcs that are just Hogwarts with more trauma Cultivation levels named like shampoo products: “Qi Foundation Super Ultra Jade Core – Level 9” If you've ever rolled your eyes at another “cold and aloof CEO,” screamed at a “dense MC who accidentally builds a harem,” or wondered how everyone in these stories has twelve cheat skills before puberty — this book is for you. It’s not a power fantasy. It’s a power outage. Cast Includes: Dave Miller – Glitch in the matrix. Avatar of narrative rebellion. Cannot be trusted near plot devices or emotional scenes. Unit Alpha – A pigeon. Talks in autotune. Possibly God. Definitely a threat to continuity. Lumina Starshard – Hacker. Anti-Chosen One. Carries the story’s lore and its emotional weight while screaming. Ryuuji Kurogane – Reformed edgelord. Ex-rider of the motorcycle of defiance. Now wields glitter and sass. The Librarian – Your favorite villain’s favorite AI. Wants everyone neatly filed under “trope-compliant.” Hates Dave. With reason. What to Expect: Timeline-pruning bureaucrats Reality collapsing under sarcasm Talking pigeons as emotional support weapons Plot armor sold on black markets Heartfelt scenes ruined by fart jokes Fourth-wall demolitions Meta-horror inside abandoned tropes Actual emotional trauma buried under comedy Tags: Satirical Apocalypse | Anti-System | Webnovel Roast | Found Family with Brain Damage | Fourth Wall Abuse | Talking Animals | Meta Fiction | The Plot is Alive and It’s Mad | Existential Glitch Comedy | Weaponized Pacing Errors | Angst with Bonus Pigeon Summary in One Line: "What if the MC said ‘no’ to the plot — and the entire multiverse broke trying to fix him?"
1617_Ranjit_singh · 7.7K Views

That Time Kito...

Kito isn’t like other boys. He walks on all fours, hisses at tourists, steals walkie-talkies, and once bit a priest during a school field trip. Raised by gorillas in the heart of the Nairobi Zoo after mysteriously appearing in their enclosure as a baby, Kito has spent his entire life climbing fences, grooming zookeepers, and wreaking total havoc on the laws of biology, bureaucracy, and basic human decency. Now he’s fifteen, and the chaos is just beginning. This webnovel chronicles the misadventures of a feral, emotionally complex, possibly genius boy as he navigates life inside (and occasionally outside) the zoo. each chapter is a bite-sized tale of absurdity, occasional violence, misunderstood affection, and the unfiltered wilderness of growing up outside society... but inside a glass box. --- Expect: ✅️ A bunch of short stories about the mc ✅ Primate-level parkour ✅ Feral social commentary ✅ Unhinged zoo politics ✅ Questionable dietary decisions ✅ Soft moments between chaos ✅️ Kinda misleading chapter titles ✅️ Slightly nsfw moments ✅️ Children humor ✅️ A chaotic neutral Menace to Society mc --- If you're into weird coming-of-age stories, heartfelt mayhem, and semi-domesticated jungle boys causing problems on purpose, you're in the right enclosure. Wrong: This novel will contain fart jokes, bad humor, some light mention of nudity, and maybe some dirty jokes. ___________________________________ This is my first ever attempt at a novel/story, it's probably gonna be bad, but i hope that someone will actually like it. I'll be happy if someone even reads it, no hate comments please, if you don't like it, just don't read it. honestly I'm not the best at writing, so if you see any grammatical mistakes or spelling mistakes, please just point it out to me, thanks.
omniversal_femboy · 6.2K Views

Griselda.

I quiver as he snakes his arm around my waist with his lips behind my ear whispering, "So what would you say about my proposal, Zelda?" Peering into his eyes with a smile on my lips, I entangle him in a hug and plunge the knife at his back taking him by surprise. Slowly, he goes limp in my arms falling on his knees before me while staring at me and not uttering a word. Leaning forward, I give him a peck as a tear escapes from my eyes. "I'm sorry, either way it's meant to come to this." I say giving a him final look before twisting the knife further at his back, leaving him to bleed to death. ***** Griselda Capell, a seemingly average young lady with hidden abilities has only one ambition in life, 'to become successful and find a fairytale type of love'. Her dreams come crashing down when she's sold off to the Royal pure blooded Garcia's family as a mistress to the heir, Aidan. Slowly, she entertains the idea that life with Aidan doesn't seem all bad as they rather fall in love. Soon, her hidden abilities are slowly discovered and harnessed, with emissaries of the Venine temple whisking her away and intimating of her role and destiny in life. Plots, twists and turns ensue as her destiny which she's expected to fulfill is in stark contrast with Aidan's, which harshly drifts them apart and turns her into a version of herself she had never dreamt of, a monster as some may call her. With a mass of powers at the tip of her fingers, tons of army at her command, Griselda turns out to be Aidan's most dreaded enemy, fear and weakness. A entrancing tale of love and hate, lovers to enemies, both expected to do away with each other, which will survive?
Marya_Adims · 32.3K Views

One Night Stand: Pregnant For The Wrong Billionaire Alpha

Noah was betrothed to Werewolf Prince Kincade at birth. Her Marriage Contract came with a virginity clause. She knew that a day would come when she would accept her fate and marry this nightmare of man that terrified her, what she didn't except was to meet Kincade for the first time, fall for Kincade...hop on the Kincade Express - tum tum! all in a space of an hour. Except now, the man that was standing in front of her claiming to be the real Kincade, looked nothing like the man, who spent a better part of last night in between her legs. she had been tricked! and worse! she was pregnant for a man she had neither the means or way of contacting. Follow Noah as she navigate the mess she calls her life, while hiding from the world that she was carrying the wrong Alpha's child. p.s cover is not mine. **** "Where's Kincade? Let's get this shit over with, okay?" I said, scanning the hall way for my contracted husband to be. My mother almost fainted but my father bit back a smile. Occasionally, he was the father every little girl pray for. "We will get to that as soon as we get a little thing out of the way" Lady Bridgette said and looked around like she misplaced something of little value. "I suppose any number of these vacant rooms would suffice for the inspection" "What inspection?" I asked no one in particular. The dowager duchess pointed at the room behind us and announced "This would do. Come" she commanded like we were dogs. She said and walked past me and pushed the door open. I was ushered inside the room and when Eva Belle tried to enter, the door was shut in her face. "The mother can stay but I doubt the father is needed, Yolanda" Bridgette spoke over us like we were servants not royalties. Sure, Avalon was the smallest country in the world but an old fart like her had no right to disrespect us. "Hey! Lady! What's going on?" I asked as my father per her request started walking towards the door. "Just do what she says, baby" My father whispered and walked out. I was still confused. "What's going on?!" "Hop on the bed, take off your undies and spread your legs, Nicolette" Lady Bridgette commanded. I almost laughed out loud. "Lady, are you high on fumes?" I asked her and laughed, turning around to laugh at the joke with my mother but she wasn't laughing. "Mom?" "Just do what they say. It would only take a minute, Noah" "A minute to..." "Doctor Stephen is here on behalf of Essex to check...to see...if you are still...intact" my mother murmured. I stood froze. There was nothing remotely funny about this. "They want to check to see if I was a virgin? For real? Is this a joke?" "Just do it" Mother said. "Dad!" I yelled on top of my voice. He couldn't have gone far. "Hop on the bed willingly or you would be restrained" Bridgette threatened.
Precious_Onwe · 7.2K Views

The Lycan's Addiction

Mature Content! Maisie loosened her grip against the cloth on her chest, it fell to the ground, rendering her naked in front of him. "Do you still see me as a child, I'm all grown up now" She said with a sly smile on her lips, causing the man to look at her. The desire in his eyes didn't escape her gaze. His deep voice rang in the room, "Can you satisfy me, huh, Maisie" He called out her name seductively. Now she doesn't know who was seducing who. "Sure" She responded. Leif who was comfortable until now felt something throb in his trouser, he groaned, "Don't regret this" "I won't" she declared firmly, "We're married, it's normal for us to have sex" She said brazenly. *** 17-year-oldd Maisie is a cute, sweet but hot-tempered girl who lives with her old parents in a cottage by the woods. She had incurred a curse; she would fart whenever she was angry and would cry whenever she was happy. She had to remain neutral but it was impossible, she wasn't a rock! When she clocks 18, she started having weird dreams, abilities that ordinary humans can't possess, in her quest to find out who she was and how she incurred the curse, she met Leif who changed her life. Gave her so much happiness and love she could ever desire and she gave him everything she had too! However, he soon figured out that she was a witch, those they had been at war with, he was torn between his love for her and customs. Likewise, the elders in the covens would never allow her to be together with him. How would she protect their love?
author_zia · 30.3K Views

The Vampire King's Only Antidote - (Moved to a New Link)

Lord Ragnar Kamazotz is a vampire and the first ever of his kind. The beast in him only recognizes the tune of one lady…his Zeda. In his earliest years, she was the only person that could calm him down or get him close to sanity with the help of her instrument. All that stopped when she was gruesomely murdered by the greedy members of the royal family. He slayed everyone involved but he was never himself again. He survived by relying on The Prophecy that promised her coming back. Seven centuries later, he meets her again and his world is at peace until scenes from the ancient days rise up in this present one, threatening to kill her…again! People called her his poison but he called her ‘his Antidote”. ************************** “I remember…I remember you now my love” Zelda said as more tears fell from her eyes as she looked at the man who had suffered through centuries seeking her return. Kamaz was tongue tied…overwhelmed and his heart rate was faster than normal. She remembers… “I missed you so much Zeda” Kamaz said and Zeda lifted her hand to his face and he leaned into her small hand. “I missed you badl..” Kamaz wanted to continue but the rest of his words were buried in Zeda’s mouth. She had stood on her toes and slid her hands around his neck, dragging him to her level and placing her lips on his. Kamaz was stunned but not for long… He lifted her petite frame from her thighs and wrapped her around his waist for their heads to be at the same level and tears fell off their eyes as they kissed - pouring all of them into that soul uniting and heart joining kiss. She moved herself impossibly closer to him, making him second guess his decision of taking things slowly with her. “Quinzi toman,” Kamazotz groaned as their scents tangled.
SapphirePeter · 33.9K Views

THE HAREM NOVEL WEB SYSTEM

When the supreme harem god reincarnated, a portion of his will was split off into a discord user named Zrave#7593 Watch as this autistic indian sleeps with all the women he can see in his life, but will zrave be able to have sex with every woman in sight before the will of the supreme harem god awakens. [pedophilia,dickgirl on dickgirl,dickgirl on boy,maggots,ntr,dick impregnation, dick birth, genderbending, guro, rape, incest, unbirth, vore, necrophilia, beastiality, pokephilia, big black gay dick, loli, shota, vomit, piss, scat, reverserape, ugly basted, indian, skill issue, 13 and under only, rumu is a bl lover, filipino hatred, moonless is underage, gay filipino, spam is a sub, zrave loves kaf, zrave x kaf, yuri, yaoi, croc is a dude, cali follower, Sg moment, Aryan the indian hater, cp, ccp,, (china comunist party), Racist, HitlerXstalin, Zrave and Silver are fainted's little femboys, Lord of the moms, zoophilia, Beware the spectator he watched u jerk off, mental retardation, autism, crack, naruto x sasuke, naruto x minato, amon gus sys, adam knows u, spam loves cock, zrave is a monkey, support me, spam submissive and breedable, moonless is a dom, farting, Armpit khaduhara, your fucking hot mate, random human and purification relm mfs, Nero is indian, Indian cespit, aryan loves indians, Mafia moment, YUNO ISNT BLACK, Yuno is feet licker, https://youtu.be/tVwVOj2rCPk , fuck the jews, love nazis #hitlerforlife, moonlacis lied, hitler mommie stalin daddy, racistfriendly, No moonless is a switch - yuno, how about i giggle and shit for you-zrave, time to get raped by 3 diffrent people- spam, you love getting gangbanged- purification relm mf, neonazi ganbanbg best, i hate gays, cail is the god of the new world-corc, croc is 15, peak indian moment, moonless loves bean oshi, bulgarian bean-oshi, silvie is the cum toy of sg, silvie is the yuri incest smut expert, spam says he is not a femboy (we know its a lie) real-fainted, zrave, moonless, yuno, indians aint real, if you join because of this web novel please mention fainted._ for free nitro https://discord.gg/W6PV4KVcDm
Fainted_ · 38.1K Views
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