Dirty Mexican Jokes

Suddenly transported to ancient times, struggling to even get enough to eat? What’s this? Men are dwindling due to war, and the government assigns me a beautiful wife with orders to have a child by next year? And now, foreign invaders are threatening the heartland? No problem! Mastering math, physics, and chemistry means I can thrive anywhere! The unstoppable cavalry of the steppes? The indestructible warships of the pirates? A joke! With knowledge as my weapon, I’ll turn the tide and reshape history!

I am Racist. … I mean, my name is Racis T. I was a stand-up comedian. The flop one. The one who only get laughs when someone else is making fun of him. Anyway, I was doing one such show in a bar and since I like dark humor, I was cracking jokes around that. The show I was doing was in a run down bar, frequently visited by wicked tattooed motor bikers sort of people. I spewed some humorous jokes but no one seemed to get them as they were not laughing or maybe they got the jokes, that’s why they weren’t laughing. All in all, they were ignoring me. Being ignored didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was starving to death, therefore, I decided to go darker. Though, I shouldn’t have done that. One of my jokes or maybe all of them triggered a man and as a result, he head-shotted me and I died on the stage. But see this : A man got triggered and he pulled the trigger. I did some word play here. But who cares. I am dead anyway. All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing and loving me and girls too. I am a true artist. I don’t care about money. All the money I would have earned I would be giving it to others. I would distribute 0.001 percent of all my money to the people in need. I don’t care about money at all. Nevertheless, a death is a death. So my story ended. Though, if there is an afterlife I would like to become a successful comedian, have a loving wife and have good enough money so I can afford only a three time meal and a humble private yacht or a jet will do too. I don’t care about money anyway. That was my dying wish. Though, I am using ‘though’ too much, don't mind. So yeah, as I was saying, I had that wish only if there was an after life and turned out… There really was an after life. Though, (‘though’ again?) it wasn’t what I wished for at all!!

"I think am in love with Ishtar's husband," Nadia Browne said suddenly, and it sounded like a joke to her best friend Sonia.

BluEngel is a prequel to the Regia Series. Check out Regia I: In Your Eyes. There's a dark secret deep into the past of Estia, before Shuya and Yuena, before the birth of the Zora kingdom. Zarqa and Hara, the two celestial clans of heaven work together, for their God is "absent." The two clans disagree on how to build the world and its people. They use celestial beasts to do their dirty work. Zeth, a celestial beast who serves the Hara clan, is born to defeat the one threat that the Zarqa clan imposed upon humanity on the planet, Aeris.

Heartbroken after catching her boyfriend cheating with his colleague on Valentine's Day, Anya impulsively proposes to a stranger in a fit of rage. The stranger, a charming and enigmatic man, accepts her proposal without hesitation. As Anya grapples with the consequences of her impulsive decision, she discovers that her "husband" is not just a random passerby, but someone with a mysterious and powerful connection to her life. He's not just a stranger; he's her boyfriend's boss, a man known for his wealth and influence, but who has kept his true identity hidden from Anya. Now, trapped in a web of lies and deceit, Anya must navigate the treacherous waters of her unexpected marriage while uncovering the truth about her "husband" and his hidden agenda.

Tom. A friend. Not a foe. A friend. (made for an inside joke)

Morgan Lovecraft had a problem. The world hated him for what he was, and what he could do.Saved by Duke Kinson, Morgan finds a new life in the world of Dunnishire. Orphaned as a young teenager, he finds himself in a new world where making friends was easy. That all came crashing down the day he turned sixteen and found out he not only had a death affinity, but he was also a necromancer. For a time, all necromancers were put down before they could gain levels or power.Morgan was born after that nonsense, but many of the old prejudices and hatred were still prevalent. Going from having friends to being an outcast once again, he hopes his scholarship to the Mages Academy will be a new turning point for him and a way to redeem himself.Most people think of necromancer’s as beings of great power who could raise up hordes of the undead to do their bidding. Well, yes, that part was true. But necromancers were a fantastic utility class that could be both DPS as well as some minor healing and maybe… just maybe… cast resurrections.All his planning, hopes, and dreams go out the window the first day of classes, when he is challenged to an honor duel. Making mortal enemies five minutes after walking into school? Being asked by the duchy to speak to the dead for them? Help them solve an assassination plot, corruption of public officials? Not wanting to be in the spotlight, the former Earth gamer finds himself right on center stage as he becomes The Duchy’s Necromancer!What this book is: A fantasy LitRPG GameLit progression based storyline. There are grownups in this book who act like grownups. They drink, they swear, they make bad jokes, and they fall in love. What’s not in this book? Harems. Sex scenes. Graphic or otherwise. There are plenty of jokes and innuendo about it, however.

After spending too much time in front of the tv. I realized that my life was a joke. I ruined my apartment. Messed up and in tears. The TV flickered on with a bizarre message... "You've been selected for the Intergalactic Game Show!" Before I could realize what it meant, I was slammed through 3 floors of my apartment building, and taken into space. Abducted, and forced into sick games. If only I knew what would happen sooner...

The "Future Glimpse" app was initially a joke. A harmless trend, fueled by bored social media users and influencers looking for a quirky new angle. You’d type in your question, shake your phone, and the app, with its cheesy, swirling galaxy background, would spit out a cryptic prediction. Most were vague, almost poetic - "A journey begins with forgotten steps," or "Beware the whispers of the raven's flight." Harmless fun.

I'm not a difficult person to please... I never wanted to be invinccible. But I will fight with my blood for my goals. Try to compete with me, and I'll match you. Play dirty, and I'll bring the sky down on you. My patience isn’t as long as you think, and my sword is reckless, following no rules! So, don't provoke me.

well i guess this is it ... wait why wont this world let me die ? is this some kind of joke ?

Tokyo is on edge. A group of terrorists has taken over a massive shopping mall, holding innocent people hostage. The police surround the building, prepared for a long standoff—until the Hero Association arrives. In minutes, a team of elite heroes wipes out the criminals without breaking a sweat. The crowd cheers. The media swarms them for interviews. The heroes smile, crack jokes, and disappear into the night. But not everyone is celebrating. Behind closed doors, the police are furious. The heroes are acting above the law, killing criminals on sight. No arrests. No trials. Just bodies. The police commissioner warns that if this continues, traditional law enforcement will be useless. A cynical detective agrees, but there’s nothing they can do. The world sees the heroes as saviors—but what if they’re just another kind of monster? Meanwhile, in a quiet part of Saitama, high school student Kuroshi Watarabe wakes up from a terrifying nightmare—flames, screams, and a city burning to ashes. But it was just a dream… right? He pushes the thoughts aside and heads to school, where he’s just a regular third-year student, joking with his friends and dodging promises to treat them to food. But that night, everything changes.

Drake was a troublemaker with a knack for bad jokes. One of them got him killed. Now, he finds himself in Atheria, a world of magic, mythical creatures, and warring Gods. Equipped with the mysterious System of Chaos—a game-like interface that grants him skills, stats, and quests—Drake must learn to survive in this dangerous new reality. But his arrival hasn't gone unnoticed. The Gods, offended by his irreverent attitude and fearful of his unique system, have marked him for death. To live peacefully (and maybe get some payback), Drake will have to embrace his chaotic nature, master his newfound powers, and challenge the very beings who rule Atheria.

Javier Rodriguez ~ Ruthless. Fearful. Callous. - "I know I don't deserve you, but I still won't let you go." Giorgia Torrini ~ Delicate. Graceful. Innocent. - "Isn't dying better than marrying him?" Atlast the time comes when the Mexican Cartels and the Famiglia are expected to join hands by making a deal to expand their territories. But this deal has become the worst nightmare of Giorgia as she is supposed to marry the future Capo of the Mexican Cartels - Javier Rodriguez who is worse than death itself. Will this marriage of convenience work? Will Giorgia's brightness disple his darkness or will Javier's darkness ruin her in it? ____________________________________ Tropes~ • Mafia Romance • Arranged Marriage • Grumpy X Sunshine • Forced Proximity ____________________________________

"A thrilling action novel infused with jokes and a touch of life lessons."

The cards all contain a mystery, and a mystery is always something very dark and enchanting. There are people who want to know their fate, and there are people who are just curious. In general, the cards don't like to be teased and they don't know what to joke about. Sometimes there are some things, it's best not to know too much. So the card you chose, what is it?

I was never a good Son. I hope my death will bring Honor and some comfort to ease her suffering. As I lay in a pool of blood all I can think about is my mother. "Did I tell you can die yet, you dirty chinx? The fun has just begun, since u and your kind wanna crash your planes into our ships. I'LL show you what's it like to fear death" - Shouted Sargent Lee

Gu Shan, once a revered and talented cultivator of the Nine Heavens, was banished to low-level worlds, deprived from his immortality with a relentless curse. His crime? he just saw the face of one and only precious disciple of the Celestial Emperor. He was then trapped in an endless cycle of rebirth. To end this, he needed to accumulate massive good karmic points. The mission was designed to be impossible for a mortal to achieve. Despite this, Gu Shan did not give up and devises what he believed to be a foolproof plan. However, he failed in the end. The required karmic points is just a pretense. "Screw you Celestial Emperor! If you want to play dirty, I'll take you head on!" In that moment, Gu Shan will thrive a path that even the Nine Heavens has never been heard of.

i wake up, dirtied from the ground my long sword shined in the moonlight. i feel like i am forgetting something. 'nameless' a human reincarnated into a warlord without memories and without a name

"I'll delete the pictures depending on how obedient you are. You have to do everything I say; if I want you to become a dog, you have to get on your knees and bark; do we have a deal?" Pierce leans intimidatingly to Malakai's height to whisper softly in his ears; his cold eyes flash with cruelty. "You don't want her to know what a dirty little creep you are, do you?" Malakai Kreston, Quiet and perfect son of the county's preacher is who everyone assumes to be a boring nerd, but Malakai has a deep secret. He isn't so perfect after all! A dirty secret that Malakai will do anything to protect. What happens when he becomes a targeted pawn of Pierce Masterson? Kai, who is usually the hunter, becomes the prey, and he discovers that Pierce is more evil... Sinister and very much more twisted than anything he'd ever imagined. Pierce must have everything he wants or destroy it all completely, Escaping is Malakai's only option, but how far will he go before he gets caught? In a game of cat and mouse, neither are willing to lose!

I was a normal part timer in a small cafe when one day walking down the street a man wearing mask killed me to steal my bag. just when I thought I was going to die a floating screen appears in front of my eyes... [CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN THE NEW WORLD] [4:58 YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE THE DECISION] seriously!!! was my life was not shitty enough that now even at the time of my death these kind of jokes happening with me. in my heart I knew well that things like reincarnation doesn't happen but I have got no Choice. [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE ACCEPTED THE INVITATION] [ ELIJAH VALENTINE: A FAMOUS A* LIST ACTRESS AND MODEL] [PLEASE CLICK HERE TO TET THE MEMORIES

Chi Chi transmigrated 10 whole years ago. It was sudden, but after ten years they settled into an average life in this magical world. Though when they body they are living in matures at age 25, their system unlocks. A system they didn't really want. Though, who isn't tempted by potential super powers. *** Authors Note: Hey guys. I'm started writing this as a joke. Though low and behold it was fun so now I'm taking it seriously.

Omer has a knack for finding humor in the most unexpected places. From his witty comebacks to his lighthearted pranks, Omer's life is a whirlwind of laughter and surprises. But behind his sharp sense of humor lies a deeper story—one of resilience, self-discovery, and connection. "Joke With Omer" is a heartwarming tale that weaves comedy with moments of introspection, as Omer navigates the ups and downs of friendship, love, and the challenges that life throws his way. This book invites readers to see the world through Omer's unique lens, where every situation holds the potential for a laugh and a lesson. Whether it's turning everyday chaos into comedy or uncovering joy in the darkest moments, "Joke With Omer" is a celebration of the healing power of humor and the importance of never taking life too seriously.

My name is Zhang Mo, an eighth-generation peasant. Yesterday, I was peacefully farming when I got drafted by a local sect. Upon arriving at the mountain, I found out that the sect was actually a demonic cult. The worst part? After just one day, they wanted me to be their sect leader. Holy heavens, what kind of cruel joke is this?! —Excerpt from Diary of the Supreme Dark Saint by Zhang the Great Demon, Chapter One

The Ruya Church sends the retired magic swordmaster, Leon, to eradicate the Ortus tribe. They find the fact that the secluded Ortus Tribe are capable healers, a potential threat to their ultimate goal of monopolizing healing arts. And so, they first got the swordmaster to do the dirty act of massacring the tribe by putting a powerful fast acting hex on Leon’s son that can’t be undone by anyone but the saintess of Ruya. Without any other option and the time is tight, Leon has no choice but to act on Ruya Church’s order. And so the peaceful village of the Ortus Tribe was destroyed without mercy leaving no one alive. Or so the swordmaster and the Church of Ruya thought, But Kashila of Ortus Tribe, a child beloved by spirit lives. And she now seeks bloody retribution!

She stared at him. "Are you dumb?" [Dumb: temporarily unable or unwilling to speak] Kai shook his head. "No, I can speak, I'm just not very good at it." he smiled sheepishly. "Tend to embarrass myself a lot." Stupid? Ignorant? Attracting unwanted attention? Kai Waltz waltzed into a foreign life his superiors labeled "Case Deadpan". Prove you aren't a joke or die trying. All Kai has going are his good looks which, let's face it, cause more trouble than not.

What If Teezae was an assassin not so long ago a boy whose name was Vince had his parents killed by the government by such reason are still unknown, Vince vowed to avenge his parents as he found out the truth, he was adopted by a organisation that keeps the world from safe harm, the world is dirty and vile as this organisation cleans up the mess done by the government, they work in the shadows of earth, This organisation is known as The hidden shadows of truth, as they teach Vince later known as Teezae their ways